The way our world is today you have to be prepared for anything. For instance, what would you do if you're sitting peacefully on your couch, trying to watch Naked and Afraid, and a group of murderous clowns kick in your front door? I know what I would do, because my entire house is filled with objects that while not only decorative, could also crack a grown man's skull. In the bedroom my wife has a concrete Virgin Mary statue that will have you seeing Holy Ghosts as she smacks you upside your head with it, and our living room is littered with curiosities that could easily fit into a plastic bag labeled as "Exhibit Number One". Form + function = a nightmare for any punk that comes and tries to take your stuff.
James Groman's Rotten Rexx would make a suitable anti-burglar weapon/object of wonder for any household. This beast stands 15 inches tall and is one of the most massive hunks of plastic I've ever seen. You grab this sucker with two hands, start swinging, and you're spreading the pain like mono at summer camp. Heck, they might just take one look at him, decide that you have to be a looney tune for owning it, and take off running. This dude is completely sick looking all painted up like this. You could probably stare at it for a month straight and not catch every detail. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Alright Chris, I love this undead prehistoric bro, but I can't possibly afford anything so amazing on my budget." But you can sucka, because this hand painted monstrosity is only $200. $200!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are crappy mass produced toys that cost way more than that and I dare say you couldn't even scratch a would-be attacker with them.
The preorder window is open now through Lulubell Toy Bodega and will remain open for three weeks to give you plenty of time to scrounge up the funds you need. Make it happen at http://lulubelltoys.com/.