Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Seen at NYCC: Sons of Anarchy from Mezco


    What timing I have!  A new episode of Sons of Anarchy airs tonight, and to get you in the proper mood to watch it, I present to you some toys from the show that you will be able to own very soon.  Like this twelve inch tall Jax figure.  While far from life size, I can imagine a lot of women that will all of a sudden be compelled to collect toys.  From what I understand, he can't take his shirt off though.  Sorry ladies.  

    You remember that time that Gemma picked up a skateboard and did some impromptu reconstruction on that girl's face?  It's my favorite scene from her, and now I can ensure I never forget it when old age sets in and makes my memory worse than it already is.  Either that or I'll be really confused why the hot biker lady looks like she's about to shred a half pipe, or whatever it is people are normally supposed to do with a skateboard.  

    And now Jax can have his best friend Opie to chat it up with as they stare at you do all the bizarre things you do in your house.  You should probably wear pants more.  

    The plush line is kinda funny to me.  Funny in the fact that it doesn't include everyone's favorite transgendered hooker with a heart of gold, Venus.  Obviously it was an oversight that I'm sure someone is rushing to correct as we speak.  If I had a lot of money I would absolutely make on of those 80's kids commercials like "My Buddy" only it would be with these stuffed characters.  Some cute little girl would be playing outside with them when her older brother comes out to bully her.  Then she pulls out a knife and shanks him right in the kidney.  The brother falls down, clutching his wound, and we have this exchange:

Boy:  "I can't believe you stabbed me, I'm telling mom"!!!!!

Girl:  leans down close to his ear and whispers "Snitches get stitches, punk."  

    She then grabs her Tig doll and skips away.  Fin.  

    My genius knows no bounds.  

You can preorder most of these right now at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.

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