Saturday, April 30, 2016

Introducing "Donny" The Newest Resin Creation from Naomi Knaff


     If you're ever wandering through the woods, as I know many of you are apt to do, and hear a noise that sounds like it could come from this creature, you better run like you just loaded up at the Golden Corral and the nearest toilet is but a lonely speck in the horizon.  See this here is Donny, and despite having a genial name like he would play in your dad's softball league, this dude is all business.  He looks like some sort of devil chicken who's only means of concealing his modesty is one of those bathing suits from Borat (you can Google that if you want to see it, cause there's no way I'm posting a picture of it).  He probably killed Colonel Sanders and has dire intentions for the entire Perdue family.  Did I ever tell you that I met Frank Purdue once at a movie theater?  It was when they released the original Star Wars movies and he and a woman not much older than 30 (dude was like 150 at the time) who looked like she was in training to be a centerfold walked out right behind us and I held the door for him.  His son, who has taken over staring in the tv commercials, was right behind him and had a look that didn't seem to approve of his father's choice in ladies.  I thought he could do worse for a stepmom.


     

    


    Naomi Knaff will be releasing her latest resin creature on Sunday, May 1st, at 5pm eastern time only from http://www.naomiknaff.com.  This sucker stands 7 inches tall and is solid as a brick.  Pick one up before you watch WWE Payback you'll have the best Sunday ever.  

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Mecha Top from Inami Toys



    Remember when toys used to be simple?  Of course you don't, cause that was way before any of us were born.  From what I've heard kids would be thrilled to death with an empty can of beans that they could just kick around in the street, or a pile of rocks that they could throw at each other.  When I was a kid all toys consisted of a thousand plastic parts and stickers that had such strong adhesive that if you messed up their placement you ruined the entire thing.  No wonder I'm so OCD now.

    Let us reflect on the simpler times once again with the Mecha Top from Inami Toys.  Combining the classic game of rock, paper, scissors with the always amusing spinning top, this resin creation is a new fun way to gamble with your friends and take all of their money.  I don't believe in friendly competition.

   These are limited to only 8 pieces and will go on sale April 28th at 8pm eastern time from www.inamitoys.com 

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Celebrate Alien Day with Super7


   

    Tuesday, April 26 has been officially dubbed "Alien Day".  I don't know if this was something symbolic that they did in congress, I just know I don't have the day off from work to celebrate it to its full potential.  I'm sure it was just some oversight, what with all the primaries and election thingys going on now.  All the important business seems to slip through the cracks.

   The best part about Alien Day is that Super7 is releasing new toys to commemorate it.  You could get yourself a sweet retro action figure case with an exclusive glow in the dark Alien inside, a 3 pack of the Nostromo crew members in special packaging just for the day, or the new 6 inch soft vinyl debut of the Alien Queen in collaboration with Secret Base.  Everything will be available in Super7 stores beginning at 11am pacific time and then online for the rest of us at 7pm pacific time.  

Monday, April 25, 2016

General Tso's Nightmare Release Party at 3DRetro



 
    Oh my goodness you know I need one of these fancy chicken dudes from Frank Kozik and Kidrobot.  It would look so good next to my Colonel plastic bank that I got at the end of last summer. There he was, shining like a plastic beacon of amazing in an antique shop in Washington State, and I knew I had to have him.  The dude is an icon of deliciousness and deserves to be celebrated for his achievement.  I also bought a metal wall hanging that depicts two elk that some dude with a torch carved out, but that's not really relevant to anything or I would have brought that up sooner.



    Is this an homage to secret herbs and spices, a depiction of what eating too much chicken will do to you, or the penance that a southern gentleman now faces who built an empire on the backs of genetically enhanced poultry?  Why don't you ask Frank himself when he appears at 3DRetro in Glendale, California on Friday April 29th to celebrate this toy's release.  They'll have both the regular white version and some of the black and gold Kidrobot exclusive editions for sale and if you ask real nice maybe Frank will draw you a smorkin chicken on the bucket-shaped packaging.  Or maybe he'll be mad at me for suggesting that and having to draw farm foul all night long.  Oops.



   The whole shindig starts at 7pm and lasts till the fun runs out (or some predetermined time I don't know about).  Supposedly there will be actual fried chicken there as well, which is the sign of a good party if you ask me.




Saturday, April 23, 2016

Mixed Parts Mini Mockbats from Paul Kaiju X Unbox Industries




    In the summer I always look like I'm made of mixed parts, cause my head, neck and arms will be tan, while the rest of me is the color of one of those cave slugs.  I never try to get tan in the shape of my shorts and tshirt, it's just the hand I've been dealt as a modest dude who refuses to walk around without a shirt on.  Not only would it make me uncomfortable, but I feel as a responsible nipple owner it is my duty to keep them safe.  I've said too much.

   These suckers are gonna sell out so fast and be all over Instagram in plenty of situations that will make you mad jealous if you can't participate.  So when these Mockbats from Paul Kaiju and Unbox Industries go on sale Saturday April 23 you best be ready to get one.  They're sold blind so you can't pick the colors, but just getting one is gonna be so awesome it won't matter which color combo you get.  They're only going to be available from store.unboxindustries.info.


Friday, April 22, 2016

Dresden Lady Wave 1 from 3A




    Warfare is getting weird.  Just when you think countries are going to be leveling each other from afar with those remote controlled drone things (and you thought they were just for creeps trying to record you through your window) I see something like this.  I mean, I guess if I was going to be gunned down having it come courtesy of a killer pair of legs isn't so bad.  The getting gunned down part still sucks mind you, but at least I'd be distracted as my body spontaneously erupted my guts everywhere.  It's all about perspective.

    3A is unleashing the latest in infantry on April 28th when these three maidens of the battlefield will be available.  Each one will be $160 through http://www.bambalandstore.com.

 


    

Oh My! Yokai Mini Gachas from Candie Bolton X Toy Art Gallery




    I love a deal and I really love deals when they involve toys.  You can want a toy real bad but you have to have it the moment when there's a deal involved.  Candie Bolton and Toy Art Gallery are gonna help you fill those nooks and crannies in your display cases with these Oh My! Yokai gachpon series and in case you're bad at catching drifts, there's a deal involved.  See, you could be irresponsible and buy only one of these amazing little figures for $10 or you could get all five for only $40.  That means you're getting one for free, which is the best kind of deal.  And this is the debut of the set, which means you're getting in on the ground floor of this thing.  Be an early adopter when they go on sale Friday, April 22nd at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.


Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Tropical Fiji Mermaid Sofubi from Gorgoloid X Awesome Toy

 

     I'd love to have heard the conversation between the dude who invented the Fiji Mermaid and his wife when he first showed it to her. "Now babes, you know I wasn't cut out to be the Wal-Mart bathroom attendant my whole life, but don't worry cause in the kitchen is how I'm gonna finally put this family on the map."  After she regained consciousness from seeing the old monkey and stinking fish butt he had crudely sewn together I'm sure there was a trip to a divorce lawyer.

   People throughout the ages have come up with some interesting schemes to avoid real work, but the Fiji Mermaid might be the weirdest.  In homage to this sideshow creature of yore, Gorgoloid and Awesome Toy have combined (like the monkey and fish) to create this version in sofubi.  Available beginning Thursday April 21st at 6pm pacific time, this Tropical edition is ready to take his place in your cabinet of curiosities.  Charge your neighbors a dime to behold this freak of nature!!!  He's only available from http://www.gorgoloid.com


Monday, April 18, 2016

New Young Gohst Sofubi from Ferg x Grody Shogun



     While framing a picture the other day my wife ended up tearing a chunk of skin off from just behind her fingernail.  She called me at work, asking me to bring some band aids home and in the meantime she had fashioned a make-shift bandage out of things she found in the house.  She had described there being a descent amount of blood, really could mean anything.  And then I came home to see exactly what she meant.  Her bundle of feminine products and masking tape had nearly soaked though, while the bathroom looked as though a struggle had ensued.  One kind of did, as she was searching for DIY first aid supplies one of our cats was trying to pick Q-tips out of the trash so he could eat them whole.  She had to wrestle a determined feline while her wound proceeded to leak like the latest Kanye West album.  Thankfully, she is made of tough German stock and watching a DVR'd episode of Project Runway was a great substitute for actual medical attention.

    These new Young Gohsts from Ferg and Grody Shogun need a heavy dose of antibiotics as they're known as the "sepsis" edition.  But you may get lucky when you buy these a get one of the chase "on the mend" versions who is out of the woods and on the way back to his normal self.  These go on sale exclusively through http://www.playge.net on Monday April 18th at noon central time.  

Friday, April 15, 2016

Bubble Gum Pink Slugbeard from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery



    A slug beard sounds like something some evil cursed wizard would have.  Writhing, slimy little creatures would cover his face similar to Medusa's hair snakes, except the slugs would be way grosser.  See, with a normal beard you have the ability to catch savory morsels of food that somehow got lost on the way to your mouth.  With a slug beard those tasty bits will be covered in that iridescent slime and rendered inedible.  That's really the only drawback I can think of.

   Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery are unleashing this big honking piece of bubble gum-lookin vinyl onto the world on April 15th at noon pacific time.  And it's not even a lottery, so you gotta have your eyes focused on www.toyartgallery.com when they drop, otherwise you will fall into a pit of despair.  Not a literal pit, mind you, but a theoretical one which can be must worse.  


Thursday, April 14, 2016

New Releases from doubleparlour Coming April 15th



    Don't bother being sad because April 15th is tax day and instead rejoice, because it is also new release day from doubleparlour.  Fill your life with their utterly strange and surreal characters and try not to smile each time you look at them.  Featuring a mix of old favorites and new sculpts, they will be available for purchase beginning at noon pacific time only from http://doubleparlour.myshopify.com.  Take a look at some of what will be offered :












"In My Mind" Porcelain Sculpture from Jey NoName x K. Olin Tribu



    Have you ever wondered whether your mind would one day reach capacity and you would never be able to remember anything else without recording over some of your old memories?  Yeah, I don't obsess about that every day either, I was asking for a friend.  But it makes you wonder a little doesn't it?  Are the wrinkles in my brain so packed full of nonsensical trivia answers and passwords for social media that I'm unable to remember things that are actually important?  If someone could figure out a way to selectively delete information in your head that would the most brilliant/dangerous invention ever.  While you could erase painful memories you could also accidentally erase something important, like your ability to read, or the fact that you owe me money.  Or some madman could get his hands on it and wipe the brains of an entire country's worth of people.  this may or may not be what the new Captain America movie is about.

    Jey NoName and K. Olin Tribu have collaborated on this porcelain creation known as "In My Mind".  Supposedly it is a vessel to store your overflowing thoughts in.  Or you could go all Ancient Egypt and plop your organs inside when you die.  Not you in particular, but someone else who is not dead/squeamish.  Only 30 pieces of this decorative art piece were made and they are available now from http://www.kolintribu.com.


Wednesday, April 13, 2016

New Kandy Kaiju Releases from Super7


 

     I've always had an indifference towards food.  Anything edible was merely there to keep me alive and very little joy was ever had from the act of eating.  Then recently something changed and my gluttony switch was flipped.  Now I'm not only hungry all the time, but meals have taken on the qualities of religious experiences.  How have I gone through life this way only to suddenly crave food?  It's bizarre, and my shirts aren't fitting that well as a result.  It's a one sided love affair.

    Super7 has the perfect solution to my newfound love of food but my need to not buy an entire wardrobe.  As long as the food is plastic, and therefore not digestible, I can have my proverbial box of snack cakes and eat them too (but not really).  And they both glow in the dark, which nothing you eat should ever do.

    Milton and Foster will be on sale starting Thursday, April 14th at noon pacific time through both www.super7store.com and their retail locations.



    

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Woot Bear Exclusive Bedtime Bunny from Peter Kato



    It's borderline criminal that nap times aren't factored into the average American work day.  Right now I get a half hour for lunch, which is barely enough time to make any progress in whatever book I'm reading at the time due to the constant interruptions.  For some reason a book is a magnet for unwanted conversation.  But beyond that, I think it should be mandatory that every business shut down for one hour to allow its employees to take a nap.  Actually, let's make it an hour and a half because it takes me forever to wake up and get my bearings, so a little bit of a cushion would be beneficial.  How did we grow up, brag about the fact that we were now adults and could eat cookies for dinner, and neglect the importance of a daily nap?  Travesty.

   I bet all the employees at Woot Bear take naps, cause they're reasonable folks.  And what better way to inspire your next bout of leisure time than with one of Peter Kato's Bedtime Bunnies.  This exclusive white bunny with pink slippers just wants you to take a break from the stress of your day so you don't snap and go on a rampage.  We all know you're on the brink.

    He'll be available Friday April 15th at noon pacific time.  


    

Monday, April 11, 2016

Uncle Scam from Ron English x Kidrobot




    By the look of his waistline, it seems that the majority of my tax dollars have gone directly into the government's cheeseburger fund.  Leave it to Ron English to perfectly capture how most Americans must feel this time every year, as we send in those dreaded forms to the IRS.  I know taxes are a must, but they could make it hurt a little less.  Maybe have a fun animal mascot, or have that party patrol from Publisher's Clearing House deliver our refund checks.

    Kidrobot wants to ease your pain this April 15th by releasing the very timely Uncle Scam figure, which heavily resembles my governor in New Jersey Chris Christie.  I can just picture this as his campaign poster if he actually had a chance at winning the nomination, which the rest of the US has no idea how lucky they are that would never happen.  Unless Trump wins the nomination and announces him as his running mate, which would undoubtedly be the coming of the antichrist and the end of days for mankind.  Kinda makes George Orwell's visions look like Dr. Seuss in comparison.  But fear not, because we have you covered on that front as well with this black and white version:


    Is it a chase piece?  Is it a Kidrobot.com exclusive?  I don't know, but either way it's horrifying.  This pieces was brought to reality by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks.    

    



One of A Kind X- Ray Gnaw 2 from Plaseebo



    Is it normal that every time you have a problem with someone at work you picture them being infested by horrible creatures like this and slowly devoured from the inside out?  I mean, such thoughts are reserved for the truly horrible members of the public who seem to have left their house with the specific goal of making others miserable.  It just seems fitting that they should feel the physical manifestation of how their personality comes across to everyone they encounter.  Of course I'm just asking this for a friend of mine and this in know way reflects my own wishes for such a malady to befall the unpleasant.   **Wink**.

    Plaseebo is unleashing more nightmare fuel into the world with his latest one of a kind creation, the X-Ray Gnaw 2.  This thing has an LED light and a plethora of glow in the dark human body parts, which is something I don't think they sell by the bagful at party supply stores.  Though that would be exactly the type of party I'd be willing to go to.  You can add this guy to your collection when he goes on sale Tuesday, April 12th from www.plaseebo.net.



Friday, April 8, 2016

ToyCon UK Exclusives from Taylored Curiosities




   My cats have the oddest tastes when it comes to food.   God forbid you try to sneak anything with chicken past their noses, as you might as well have called them an offensive slur.  Our smallest kitten discovered the other day, through no fault of our own, that she has a hankering for baked beans.  We heard the tell tale noise of her licking the sauce off of them and by the time we could get to her she struck like a cobra and made off with a bean.  Thankfully it didn't have the same effect on her that it seems to have on humans.

   Taylored Curiosities will be holding down the fort at Toy Con Uk this weekend by showcasing some customs of her famous bean sets.  She's got some big names to ply their trade on her resin beans and the results cannot only be seen, but also purchased at the show.  Take a gander at a few of my favorites:




Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Life Size First Order Storm Trooper from Sideshow Collectibles



 
    Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and pass the digital collection plate around and ask you all to give generously so I can buy this.  I say a lot of times that I need things, but I reaaaaaaaallllly NEED this.  I would literally throw my sofa out to make room for this.  I am committing to you a lifetime of eating meals and watching tv while sitting on the floor just to make room in my house for this Storm Trooper.  And no, I didn't ask my wife how she felt about that cause I'm pretty sure she wants me to live out my dreams.

    You can preorder this thing of beauty right now from Sideshow Collectibles for the price of $7,999.99, which is why I'm trying to get that collection going.  Fund my happiness, people!  You can get one for me by visiting http://www.sideshowtoy.com.


Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Lisa Rae Hansen/ I Break Toys Exclusives for ToyCon UK




    Chewbacca has finally realized that his epic shredding alone does not a band make.  You need someone to bring the thunder to your lightning, so he went out recruiting. He traveled far and wide, eventual;ly finding himself drawn to Endor by the sickest blast beats his ear drums ever bled for.  Little did he know that the Ewok's little arms and stubby legs are the perfect combination for hellish beats that keep the devil himself awake at night.





    I love Star Wars and I love metal, so the toy stylings of Lisa Rae Hansen have a special place in my black little heart.  But lest you think she's only interested in galaxies far far away, cause she's also invading the world of Nintendo with the debut of Super Metal Mario.  Everyone's favorite plumber's got a Lemmy-like makeover and looks ready to rock the Mushroom Kingdom.  Or whatever's left of it, cause dude is pretty destructive.  And he kills a lot of bad guys while trying to rescue his woman.  Murder and mayhem are pretty metal!




   All that you see here will be available at ToyCon UK Saturday, April 9th in London.  Go buy, say hello, and start building your dream band from the ground up that will hopefully be so amazing that they'll never have time to play another Red Hot Chili Peppers song on the radio ever again.   

Friday, April 1, 2016

Killer Toys You Need from Skinner





    It's hard to do a serious post on April Fool's Day because everyone thinks you're just yankin their chains.  Well, we don't do any chain yankin when it comes to toys, cause that's serious business not fodder for a good laugh.  Besides, there's plenty of other things to laugh about: like Donald Trump's hair, or the fact that he might actually become president, or if that happened how life would be just like sliding down a greased pipe straight into the fires of Hades.  F-U-N-N-Y.

    What's Skinner been up to recently?  I dunno, but somewhere in his schedule he worked out the time to paint up some toys for ya.  He made 10 of the dashing cyclops Ogos, and he made ten of this big ol heap of a Cthulhu figure.  Snatch me up quick like on Aril 1st at noon pacific  from www.shopcriticalhit.com.