Ultrus Aqua Bog from Frank Kozik Releases Today

    Aqua Man is lame.  What the hell kinda super power is being able to talk to fish?  I don't want to talk to most people, so I don't know what a fish could say that would be that interesting.  I guess it would be mildly convenient if you could talk a shark out of eating you, but being that I don't ever go in the ocean that would be a waste.  Maybe you'd be mildly entertaining at parties if their happens to be an aquarium around and the fish tells you about all the weird stuff your friend does when he thinks no one is looking.  Now I'm starting to sell myself on this fish talking thing.  

  

   If Aqua Man looked like this more people would take him seriously.  In fact, if you wear pants made out of human skulls, its pretty much guaranteed that you're the baddest dude around.  Frank Kozik painted up 13 of these figures from Skinner and will be releasing them today (Thursday, April 10th) at noon Pacific time.  $200 will get you one of these hand painted critters that you can form your own Justice League around.  

www.frankkozik.net

Crypt Creepers from We Become Monsters Are Available Now!

    According to We Become Monsters, this here Crypt Creeper is meant to keep your crypt clean.  See, this is why science infuriates me.  Instead of bioengineering something like this for use in our houses, they're to busy making fat burning pills and putting lipstick on monkeys.  Do you know how much money you could make if you could create something like this that just roamed around all day eating dust and pooping it out in a trash can?  I would buy 100 right now, cause I suck at cleaning.  I could put a few in the cat's bathroom to eat their stray bits of litter.  Maybe stick a few in the tub drain so it never gets clogged.  Forget cloning sheep, this is where a good mad scientist could really make his mark.  

    While your house will still be dirty no matter how many of these you buy, they're still fun/kinda creepy to look at.  And if you use the power of your imagination you can pretend that they're eating whatever that weird sludge is in your kitchen sink.  This is a limited edition of 25 in a random assortment of colors and they're available right now from http://webecomemonsters.storenvy.com/.  

    

Springtime Takoshi from Yakimon x Toy Art Gallery

    I'll admit it:  I'm a sucker for a good reality tv show.  Mostly I like the ones that are some sort of competition because I'm always hoping that at the end no one will win because the producers will be disgusted by how horrible all of the people are.  Seriously, it's like they're collecting names for the national douche bag registry when they cast for these things.  There's so many that my wife and I can never remember their proper names, so we just make up ones that are more fitting.  Tough Love, a show about people who can't find success in the dating word, becomes "Unlovables" and we hope that maybe a fire will break out in the house that that can't be tamed.  Are You the One, a dumb show about  idiots trying to figure out who their perfect matches were, became "Sticky House" for the careless amount of coupling that went on.  I could go on and on, but it would be embarrassing to let you know how much of this junk I've actually seen.

    If I were in charge of naming toys, Yakimon's Takoshi would be renamed "Super Hyper Squid Face".  I just think it would be more fun to explain what it is to your friends if that's what it was called.  Regardless of his moniker, you can buy one this Friday at noon Pacific time when they go on sale from Toy Art Gallery.  

R.I.P. The Ultimate Warrior

    I've always loved professional wrestling.  Though there have been times when my interest fluctuated, I've always come back to this unique form of entertainment.  My grandfather got me into it and we spent a lot of time in front of the television, predicting who would win and arguing with the screen when things didn't go the way we thought they should.  Of course we knew it was scripted, but it felt so easy to suspend disbelief for those few hours a week.  My grandfather passed away last October and shortly after my wife and I started watching the WWE again with more interest.  It felt like being a kid again and sitting in his living room.  He took me to my first ever live event when I was five and I can remember being ringside and being awestruck at these larger than life characters who were more famous to me than anyone else in the world could possibly be.  

   One of my favorite wrestlers of all time was The Ultimate Warrior.  I spent a large part of my youth reading about him in magazines and glued to the television anytime WWE was aired.  He was something beyond human, like an evolution of man that had somehow skipped the rest of us.  Just a few days ago he made his return to television as part of Wrestlemania and later on RAW after being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame.  And then he was gone.  The timing of his death is probably more shocking than his actual passing, as the years of punishing one's body usually doesn't usually lead to a healthy retirement.  But he got to thank everyone that grew up watching him, and we in turn got to thank him through the emotional responses he received this week.  If it had been a movie no one would have ever believed it could have ended that perfectly.  But real life will always be much stranger than anything we could ever conjure in our imaginations.  And another piece of my childhood, of many of our childhoods, is gone now forever.  

Glow In The Dark Heathrow from Frank Kozik on Sale Today!!!!!

    It's been an interesting week with the critters in my house.  Our two kittens got spayed and neutered and while the boy did fantastic, the girl has been a pickle.  Her incision was glued and she was wearing that cone of shame to prevent her from licking it, but somehow she got a hold of a Diamond Dallas Page Yogo tape and learned to bend in such a way that she ATE ALL THE GLUE!  So she had to make a return visit to the vet last night to get staples and a new behemoth cone that is the size of a wok.  She weighs all of 4 pounds and it's heartbreaking/kinda funny to watch her maneuver with this green plastic monstrosity around her neck.  And then she looks at you, with her big eyes like pools of sadness, and all I can think of is that damn ASPCA commercial with Sarah Mclachlan and I swear I can hear the song in my head and I race to turn the channel before it completely ruins my day but it's not on tv it's in my walk-in closet where she has to be confined for the next few days to keep the other cats from conspiring with her to pull the staples out an I feel like I'm going to have a psychotic break if I keep looking into those sad eyes and the little tears that have pooled at their bottoms.  

    So how's everything with you guys?  Good, good.  Heathrow from Frank Kozik is ready to omit a soft glow to keep you calm at night when Canadian songstresses have burrowed into your ears with tales of animal sadness.  You can buy one of these big dudes when they go on sale today at noon Pacific time from http://www.frankkozik.net/.  Only 30 exist and 1 in 6 customers will win a unique little Heathrow that I believe is a test pull.  Check em out.

Pink Porcelain Skull Brain from Emilio Garcia and K. Olin Tribu

    Not too long ago I read the book "The Lobotomist" about Walter Freeman, who was the man that pioneered the transorbital lobotomy.  You know, where they shove an ice pick through your eye socket and scramble up your frontal lobes.  The scary thing about it is not that he was delusional enough to think that it was a good idea, but that they were doing this nonsense only 50 years ago.  It makes you wonder what barbaric thing we do now will be looked at in the future with scornful eyes.  Like letting dudes wear skinny jeans.  

(On a side note, if you're interested in the first book, you should follow it up by reading "My Lobotomy", which was written by one of Freeman's patients who received a lobotomy at the age of 12)

    K. Olin Tribu has released another edition of Emilio Garcia's popular Skull Brains, this time in fleshy pink.  This is by far my favorite, as it looks freshly plucked and ready for your dinner table!  Think about it:  it's probably safer than eating anything that comes out of the ocean.  This porcelain sculpture is available now by visiting http://www.artandtoys.com/.  

Amazon Exclusive Game of Thrones Bundle Packs from Funko

    I would like to firmly smack the person that scheduled the season premier of Game of Thrones at the exact same time as Wrestlemania.  I hate having to make decisions like that about what I'm going to watch, and in the end Wrestlemania won out.  Because if I didn't watch wrasslin last night the internet would have spoiled it for me and I wouldn't be able to watch RAW tonight because that would have spoiled it for me.  I'm hoping that those of you who watched Game of Thrones will be kind and keep it to yourself until the rest of us catch up.  Please and thank you.  But holy crap if you watched WWE like I did you're probably half pissed/half excited this morning.  I'm not gonna ruin it for you in case you didn't see it, but it was pretty surprising.  

    To celebrate the return of Game of Thrones (which I missed) Funko has created these two bundle packs that are exclusive to Amazon.com.  You get a t-shirt, a figure from the show, and a keychain of said figure.  The Daenerys Targaryen figure is brand spanking new and since we named one of our cats after her I'm gonna have to get one.  These will ship out at the end of May but are up for preorder now.