Madam Mayhem 8 Inch Dunny from Kronk x Kidrobot

    You know the problem with gentlemen's clubs?  Other than the fact that I would never want to sit anywhere in pants that I didn't plan to burn later?  There's no creativity.  Sure, the semi-nude acrobatics of young girls trying to pay their way through law school can be exciting for a bit, but after a while it's old hat.  I'm a sucker for a good theme and a bit of showmanship, so how come they don't mix their interests or talents into their performances?  One girl could read tarot cards and breath fire, or they could all wear vintage Halloween masks and it could be more horror themed.   Or maybe I just over think everything.

    Kronk gets where I'm coming from as is evident in these new 8 inch Dunnys he's releasing with Kidrobot.  They remind me of Selma Hayek in From Dusk Til Dawn, which is a prime example of what I was talking about before.  She certainly is wearing less than those fortune tellers on the boardwalk in Atlantic City, so it leads me to believe she works in a more risque establishment.  The green chica is the regular version, while the purple lady is a 1 in 6 chase variant.  These witchy women will be available starting this Thursday, June 5th, for $74.99 wherever you prefer to procure your toys.  

Sons of Anarchy Jax Prison Variant from Mezco Toys

    I'm gonna be honest with you:  I am not cut out for prison.  For one, I got a big germ problem.  The first time my cell mate poops in front of me I might lose my mind.  And I'm not the biggest fan of getting punched in the face, or shanked with a tooth brush that someone has whittled down to a lethal point.  I think if I ever had to go to jail I would just start acting crazy so they put me in solitary so at least I can go insane because of my own lame company and not because some behemoth has decided I'm the prettiest thing he's seen in a long time.   And I don't think they have Wi-Fi.

   I can't believe Sons of Anarchy is in the midst of filming their final season right now.  I'm excited to see how the whole thing wraps up, because there's no way it's not going to blow my mind, but I'm sad because it is the end.  I've invited these characters into my home for the last seven years and lived vicariously through their fictional lives that are far removed from mine and it will feel like losing a friend.  But the show will live forever in DVD players and on shelves of collectors through Mezco's line of action figures.  Their newest release is going to be this version of Jax Teller all decked out in his finest correctional facility wear.  He'll be available at all the major conventions this summer as well through a preorder at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/ beginning June 13th at 1pm Eastern time.  

    

Stepping Through Walls at Toy Art Gallery **Update**

    So I originally posted this last week, but the show is actually THIS SATURDAY.  I swear that I'm not drinking when I'm updating this site. However I am usually stopping one or more cats from eating something they shouldn't on my desk or trying to play Smackdown on all my stuff.  

    Toy Art Gallery has a pretty big show starting Saturday featuring some cool toy folks, but the reason I would be there (if I lived, oh I don't know, about 3,000 miles closer) is for these Death Cat figures from Johan Ulrich:  

    How great are these?  The answer is "these are amazing."  When we first got married, my wife and I lived in an apartment complex that had a few stray cats living outside.  One of these dudes was quite a beast, and he was missing his tail, half of an ear, and only had one eye.  We named him Carlos because when you looked at his face you could almost hear him say "Whas up homes."  He may or may not have even been a dude, he never let us get that personal.  We wanted to bring him in the house soooooooo bad but he wasn't having it, and it took us nearly two years to even get close enough to pet him.  Now fast forward four years and my wife is waiting on someone at her job who lives in our old neighborhood.  She starts talking about how she misses the outdoor cats and the lady whips out her cell phone to show her pictures of a cat she was able to bring indoors.  And of course its Carlos!!  He finally decided to put the streets behind him and settle down into a life of luxury.  So every time I see these toys it reminds me of him and maybe that's why I like them so much.  

     You lucky folks in the Los Angeles area will get first crack at these guys during the opening of the show on Saturday and Johan himself will be there along with most of the other artists participating.  

Limited edition Bangagon from Guumon x Miles High

    The wife and I went to Wildwood yesterday and the best way I can think to describe it for people that have never been is imagine going to a seaside carnival owned by Wal-Mart.  Not only are there rides and games but you will leave with the most self esteem you've ever had in your life.  Seriously, the people that you will see do not exist anywhere else in real life and look like they could have been extras in the Mos Eisley Cantina scene.  Jerry Springer could set up a casting booth and never worry about running out of guests.   

    Guumon's Bangagon figure could walk around the boardwalk virtually undetected amid the other critters I saw yesterday.  He just made an exclusive version of this dude for Miles High and they are available right this minute at http://shop.miles-high.com/.   

Kibunadon Fish Kaiju by Teresa Chiba x Max Toy Co.

    I think the most horrifying thing in the world would be a giant kaiju fish rising from the depths of the ocean and destroying where I live.  Because even if it doesn't totally wreck your house and kill everyone you know, good luck trying to get rid of that dead fish smell once the National Guard puts it down.  Have you ever seen those exploding whale videos?  You know, where a whale washes up on the beach, and it sits there letting all the bacteria in its gut multiply and fart until the whole thing just explodes and sends rotten old innards everywhere?  Now picture that happening with something 10 stories tall.  There aren't enough power washers and bottles of bleach in all of America to wash that smell away.  

    This guy is kinda cute and probably smells like a rainbow.   He's the newest kaiju figure from Max Toy Co. and Teresa Chiba.  You can pick one up right now at http://www.maxtoyco.com/ and pray that what I described in the first paragraph never happens to you.  The horror!!!!!!!!    

"The Unwound Automaton" Bella Delamere from Doktor A x Arts Unknown x Mintyfresh

    As I am writing this post I am playing fetch with my cat Jorah.  He has this little mouse toy that we call Chew Jackman and he'll drop it then push it towards you when he wants you to throw it.  It's kind of weird for a cat to want to play fetch, but what's weirder is that we never taught him to do this.   He brought it to me when I was trying to sleep one morning and I threw it out of the bedroom hoping he would go behave himself and stop tormenting me (he's famous for practicing Civil War medicine on my wife and I when we are our most vulnerable) and instead he brought it back.  This continued until I wore him out and he decided a nap was in order.  Now I'm having to chuck this thing at an angle so it makes it down the stairs and I have time to type.  

    On a completely different note, here is the latest version of Doktor A's Bella Delamere figure from Arts Unknown.  "The Unwound Automaton" will be going on sale today exclusively from Mintyfresh at 9pm Amsterdam time (which would be 3pm in New York and 12pm in LA in case you were wondering).  Who doesn't love a woman with tentacles?  

Toxic Green "Punk's Not Dead" Skelevex Releases Tomorrow

    I know what you're thinking.  You're wondering "Chris, why did you post so late today?"  The answer is because I had to pretend to be an adult and go buy tires.  Pretty useless right?  I'd rather be buying toys and stuff I really want, but instead I dropped $300 on new tires and an alignment to make my car a little less death-trapy.  Being a responsible grown up is crappy. 

    Some days I just want to get a face tattoo and play my guitar until the neighbors call the cops and then I'll be belligerent and get arrested and use my one phone call to order Chinese food that I won't even eat and they couldn't deliver to me in jail anyway.  Damn the man!!!!!!  Or maybe I could shave my head into a sweet mohawk like the Punk's Not Dead Skelevex have.  I don't think I could get my hair to look as geometric though.  The world is unfair I tell you!  

    These go on sale tomorrow (Friday May 30th) at 11pm BDT only through http://skelevex.bigcartel.com/ and are limited to 9 pieces.