Blank Green Serpentoid from Michael Skattum x Gums Productions

    This is precisely why you don't go digging up ancient graves.  You think you're going to unlock the mystery of how a long past culture lived.  That with each shovel full of dirt you're inches closer to a  mostly boring special on the History Channel (American Ripper was a letdown and after reading an article describing the exhumation of H. H. Holmes from a person who was there, a complete farce.  Here's the link for anyone that watched the finale.).  Instead, you just create a pathway to freedom for some dude like this, who will then infect human kind with his snake juice and turn us all into reptilian slave people.  Thanks a lot, bub.

    Michael Skattum and Gums Productions are back at their crazy figure shenanigans with the debut of Serpentoid!  This 8 inch tall figure features two points of articulation located right at those ape-like fore limbs and is scarier than anything Brendan Frasier faced in those Mummy movies.  You can get one right now for $65 (which includes world wide shipping) by checking out http://www.michaelskattum.com.  

     

The Debut of Fossil Pods from James Groman x Toy Art Gallery

   Good thing I kept my eclipse glasses because these things are so yellow they make my retinas nervous.  You certainly won't be able to miss the debut of James Groman's dinosaur meets insect mini figures known as Fossil Pods, and I certainly wouldn't want to.  I've been looking forward to these since Toy Art Gallery started posting teasers.  I'm a sucker for weird animal evolution (who isn't when you think about it) and these look mighty killer.

    You can get you hands on these toys that would have blown Darwin's mind when they go on sale today, September 1, at noon pacific time.  Get the entire set of five for a mere $60.  I know you got paid today, so you've got it.  Yeah, you could pay bills I guess, but just remember there's an active volcano sitting beneath Yellowstone National Park that is way past due for a monumental, wipeout half of the United States-size explosion.  Buy the toys.

Get em at www.toyartgallery.com.

Used Sketty 8 Inch Dunny from Sket-One

    

       Peanut butter is my jam (see what I did there) but I really only like the chunky version.  I've got this weird texture issue with food that's too soft, so those extra bits of peanuts hidden throughout are there to save me from utter disgust.  I also prefer lumpy mashed potatoes, french fries that are well done on the outside, and bread that has a crust that could undo the best dental work.  Please don't send me any food though, because I have another weird issue about people trying to feed me.  This is getting way too personal.

    I won't hold it against Sket-One that his latest Dunny is lacking the crunchy bits I love, but only because this toy is completely not edible.  And to top it all off someone has been mighty liberal in their use of this lunch time staple, as most of it's contents are long gone.  That's ok though, because like I said before you won't be making sandwiches with this toy; you'll only be making other collectors jealous at your awesome score.  

    Each eight inch figure comes with a mini jar of peanut butter, a slice of bread, and a knife with a little bit of the good stuff still attached to the end.  You can preorder yourself one starting tomorrow ( Friday, September 1st) at 12am eastern time for a period of 24 hours.  Once that day is up, the window for purchase will be closed and the manufacturing will commence.  These are only available from http://sketone.storenvy.com.

The Heck Resin Figure from We Become Monsters

    Why is it that doctors have all the worst art in their offices?  You'd think they'd be able to afford something really nice, but everything looks like it belongs at a thrift store.  I get that you can't put anything crazy like a Hieronymus Bosch in the waiting room of your dentist's office (though Ive been to a dentist where that would have fit right in with his bedside manner) but you can certainly do better.  All this brings me to a painting hanging in the office of my doctor.  It depicts a man standing behind a basket that is filled with severed heads.  The basket is cleverly labeled "new heads" in case there was any question of what it contained, and is in theory supposed to represent how great it would be if you had an issue with your own mind to just swap it with a spare.  I personally read it as the young man that created the painting is in no subtle way trying to tell you about his love for dismembering human bodies and what would be found beneath the floor boards of his kitchen should you be curious.  His confessional looks like it was created by a fifth grader, which adds the unease I feel every time I look at it.  The only time I think a boring painting by Monet would be a bit more appropriate is if it is replacing one given to you by the criminally insane. 

    Having multiple heads lying around isn't always a bad thing, even if they do come knocking on your door with a search warrant.  Case in point, this new creation from We Become Monsters.  It's called The Heck, and is a scaled down version of one of his other figures, The Hell.  There are three different colors of this four inch figure to collect, and each comes with an alternate head for mixing and matching how you see fit.  Available exclusively from http://webecomemonsters.storenvy.com, these suckers are hand made and extremely limited.   

Resin Cthulhu Madball from Magitarius

    

    Even The Old Ones recognize how important a game of catch is to help a father bond with his son. Plus, the development of hand eye coordination is really important if one day you are to return to this world and decimate mankind.  Hence we have this Cthulhu Madball from the resin slinging folks at Magitarius.  Limited to just five pieces in this color scheme, each one will prepare your throwing arm in no time for that all important moment when you rise from the sea and take back what is rightfully yours.  Pick one up now over at http://www.magitarius.com.

Technicolor Owl Clam Lottery from Nathan Jurevicius x Toy Art Gallery

   We've all been there: you're wandering around a music festival in the summer heat.  Your body is having an adverse reaction to stomach medication that unbeknownst to you requires you to stay out of direct sunlight.  Your wife goes to the bathroom and when she returns you're not there as you've been helped to the medical tent suffering from weakness and hallucinations.  Just when all hope seems lost, The Great Owl Clam appears to you.  Armed with an ice pack and a soothing voice like Jim Morrison,  he ensures that everything will not only be ok, but they will be awesome.  After you go to the emergency room though.

    A few days after.

     It's still embarrassing.

   Follow the technicolor dream boat that is the Owl Clam to find your own inner peace.  Sprung forth from the mind of Nathan Jurevicius and produced by Toy Art Gallery, this wonder of Japanese plastic can be yours by entering a lottery to purchase.  From now until Monday at noon pacific time, you can send an email to sales(at)toyartgallery.com with "Owl Clam Lottery" as the subject.  Please include your Paypal address and shipping info as well, and only enter once.  God speed.


    

Preorder Skinner's Necronomicon Pop Up Book from Poposition Press

    You may have read everything that H.P. Lovecraft ever committed to paper, but you've never had his stories literally jump off the page to drag your soul into unescapable madness!!!!!  Now you can experience these tales like it was the first time with this Necronomicon Pop Up book from Skinner and Poposition Press.  Featuring five stories of terror to keep you up at night and probably pee a little, this book goes beyond anything the master of horror could have envisioned himself.  Available for preorder now at a special discounted price and in three different versions for collectors, no home would be complete without one.  Get all the details and secure one for yourself by visiting 

https://www.necronomiconpopup.com.