Rotten Rex "Meat Marbled" Version from James Groman x Lulubell Toys

    I shouldn't be writing about this toy because it is making me hungry and I still have to go grocery shopping today.  Now I'm just gonna skip everything else I would have bought and go straight for the meat aisle and load my basket up with steak.  My wife makes this amazing steak with onion soup mix that will make you smack your grandma it's so good.  Don't try and sue me after you smack her either, cause I will lawyer up so fast you'll wish I didn't lawyer up so fast.

   You can own the only dinosaur I'ver ever thought might taste good during a two week open preorder happening right now through Lulubell Toys.  This monstrosity from James Groman stands 15 inches tall and doesn't look like he would take too kindly to any T-Rex arm jokes.  $250 will guarantee you one by visiting http://www.lulubelltoys.com.  

A Unique Lottery from Lulubell Toys for Cure's Halloween Boogieman

    I get why people do lotteries for toys:  you have a little bit of product versus a lot of people that want to own it.  So you're leveling the playing field for everyone and you're able to take known flippers and ignore them like the turd bags they are.  They're all pretty much the same though in that you email your information and do a lot of praying that you win.  That's kind of boring.  So Lulubell Toys is gonna spice it up a bit and make you do a little bit of work as well.

    The toy up for grabs is the very seasonal Cure Boogeyman and Gee combo you see above and like I said the way to enter is not typical.  You have to take a photo that spells out the word CURE.   Then you do this:

1. Easiest way: post your photo to IG, hashtag #lulubellcurelottery and @lulubell_toys & @cure_uo ! Done.

2. If you do not have IG, email your photo to amy@lulubelltoys.com, along with your name, shipping address and PayPal email address & we will post your entry to IG for you!

    See, isn't that better than the same old way of doing things?  Unleash your inner Annie Leibovitz and impress the world with your creativity.

   

Mixed Parts Madness from Splurrt X Lulubell Toy Bodega

    SAAAAAAAATUUUUUUUUUURDDAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!  Did you read that in your head like I was about to announce a monster truck rally, because if you did you are awesome and we are friends.  I got way too pumped listening to a song from the new Darkthrone album and now I'm just trying to type out all these rage feelings I've got and turn them into something informative for you.  Did you know that the dude from Darkthrone accidentally got himself elected to his town's council in Norway after he posted a picture of himself with his cat and said "don't vote for me?"  I wish he was eligible to be our president instead of those two other clowns.

Change I can believe in.

   Splurrt is dropping some more Cadaver Kids and Mecha Cadaver Kids through Lulubell Toy Bodega on Saturday and this time they're all mixed up.  I'm usually not a huge mixed parts fan but the colors he chose are so different on these that I dig em.  They will be $50 and $55 respectively and will go on sale promptly at noon pacific time (September 17th) only from www.lulubelltoys.com.  These will be gone in the blink of an eye so forget whatever else you were planning on doing and camp your behind in front of a computer ready to pull the trigger.  

New Stuff From Splurrt Available Today from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    It will take me longer to think of something witty to say about these dudes than it will for them to sell out when they get posted later today.  Splurrt's work, deservingly so, is highly sought after and it's not going to change with the release of Serpent Sata and Puppoo.  I would watch a buddy comedy staring these dudes and this would be the premise: Serpent Sata is a hard nosed cop whose partners always seem to end up dead, while Puppoo is just a rookie turd who has more heart than brains.  Together they are trying to bring order back to a once peaceful Chinatown that finds itself riddled with organized crime.  Then hilarity would ensue in some fashion.  I really see The Rock and Kevin Hart taking this project to new heights.

    Today at non pacific time these will go up only at www.lulubelltoys.com, so schedule your work breaks accordingly.   

New Splurrt Madness from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Oh my goodness, I'm so happy that I'm off this Saturday so I have a chance at one of these.  I'm hardcore eyeballing those Cadaver Kids with the Usir heads.  Those vinyl colors are giving me the teenage feelings, too (love you Neko Case).

    Splurrt and Lulubell Toy Bodega have teamed up to bring you another huge release on Saturday, June 4th at noon pacific time.  Gaze upon the items you could very well own, but leave me one of those Usirs cause as the otter says:

    You're only allowed one of each color of each figure, so you can get the complete set that you see pictured if you so choose.  

Boshi Neko "Foofy" edition from Candie Bolton x Grody Shogun

 

    This toy is giving me mad flashbacks to back to school shopping for Trapper Keepers and trying on jeans for hours until my spirit was as chafed as my legs and being promised that I could get McDonalds if I didn't complain too much.  Do they even still make Trapper Keepers, cause those things were the best.  Except when those plastic little rings that held your papers started to wear out and wouldn't close all the way, or when you ripped one of the pockets and all your stuff would fall out.  Never mind, those things sucked.

    I don't know what kind of substances Lisa Frank needed to create her seizure inducing world of bright colors and baby animals, but you can't convince me they were made with a sober mind.  Candie Bolton has perfectly recreated that look with this Boshi Neko edition she has named after her own kitty.  It has that perfect ratio of "I'm adorable" and "I will murder you in your sleep", which is a delicate balance indeed.  These are available for preorder right now from http://www.lulubelltoys.com through June 1st or until the allotment runs out.

    

Marbled Cadaver Kids and Mecha Brain Cadaver Kids from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

    Look at those swirley butts!!!  I don't even have to see the rest of their little bodies to know that I want these toys.  I guess it helps that I already know what they look like, so that does take some of the risk out of it and allows me to be way more confident in my assertion.  And you already know I get those special feelings just thinking about marbled vinyl, which is like the premium roast beef of plastics.

    Grody Shogun has bestowed his marbling wizardry on these Cadaver Kids and Mech Brain Cadaver Kids from Splurrt and they will be made exclusively through Lulubell Toys on Saturday, March 26.  They will be $50 and $55 respectively and you can buy up to three of each type.  They drop at noon pacific time at http://www.lulubelltoys.com. 

Brand New Figures and More from Cop A Squat Toys at Designer Con

    You know what always sucks as a kid?  When you're at the toy store, and you convince your mom to get something new, but she has the nerve to limit you to one figure.  Now this isn't a tragedy if it's a dude from a toy line you've been collecting, but when it's something brand new then it really sucks.  I remember when the Ninja Turtles figures came out and I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEDED them so badly and I finally begged my way into one and all I could get was Donatello.  Now who in the hell was he supposed to fight against?  I couldn't get Shredder, or a member of the Foot Clan, so here I had this awesome new toy with no one for him to do battle with.  Was I supposed to pretend that he was part of the Star Wars or GI Joe universes?  I wasn't about crossing brands like that.  So basically I had this turtle who I would just pretend was putting karate demonstrations on for kids and telling them not to do drugs.  This explains a lot about the person I turned out to be.

    You're not gonna face those issues I did when you purchase the new Fumetsu figures from Cop A Squat Toys.  That's because he's not a sicko and will be selling them in sets of two.  So whether you play cops and robbers or intergalactic tag team wrestling, you'll be squared away.  These are gonna debut at Designer Con for $150 per set at the Lulubell Toys booth #926.  You'll also be able to purchase an exclusive Semi Korosiya figure for the well-affordable price of $70.  Get them deals, son!

Preorder Some Custom Grody Quackers from Candie Bolton x Lulubell Toys

    Let me tell you, if you collect toys and have kids you better have a secure set up for your collection.  I don't have any human kids, but our feline children have required us to buy sturdy display cases that have locks.  And they look pretty pro anyway, so I'm not that shook about it, but you gotta invest in security if you don't want to have teeth marks in your expensive stuff.  Now with human babies you gotta worry about them stealing your stuff and tossing it all in the toilet.  Is there any kid that didn't do that?  I remember tossing some of my mom's makeup down the toilet along with my Han Solo in Hoth gear figure.  There was no way I was letting him pilot the Millenium Falcon in a snow suit, because that implies that the iconic ship didn't have heat and I wasn't buying it.  So I flushed him.  Or I attempted to, because Han Solo and a handful of lipsticks will evidently wreck your pipes and cause a filthy water flood.  I told my mom I was sorry, but she was all like "You're 32, you shouldn't be doing this crap anymore."  She's so judgmental.

    You know there's not a kid out there that isn't gonna wanna play with these Grody Quackers.  They were practically made to toss in the nearest body of water you can find, so keep these suckers out of reach.  Candie Bolton customized these twisted bath tub friends and they are available for preorder right now from Lulubell Toys.   The preorder ends this Friday or when supplies run out, and as affordable as they are for a custom toy there's no reason they won't sell out.  Get em at http://www.lulubelltoys.com

"Man in Red" Francios le Grande Preorder from Lullubell Toys

    

    There's something about giant figures that just captivates me.  Any time I go into a store and see a cool display made of plastic or fiberglass I always want to take it home.  The other day on the Ocean City boardwalk a store had a huge hermit crab hanging from the ceiling and I wanted that thing sooooooooooooo badly.  I have no idea what I would have done with it when I got it home, but that was the least of the problems as I saw it.  I just wanted it and didn't care about anything else.  One of these days if I ever have stupid money, I'm gonna buy up a ton of stuff like that and just fill the basement with them.  My goal has been to have the house look like an art gallery/medical museum/prop rental company, so God help me if I ever win the lottery.  Sharon and I are already doing a pretty god job with limited resources, so we might go full Addam's Family with a little bit of cash.   

    The point of it all, if I am going to try and focus here, is that this Francois Le Grande figure from Lulubell Toys is massive.  He's almost 16 inches tall and this is the first ever version featuring a full paint job.  he is available to preorder right now over at http://www.lulubelltoys.com for $185.  The preorder window closes tomorrow night at 5pm pacific time.  

Ferg x Grody Shogun x Scott Wilkowski "Infected Young Gohst" Preorder

 
    Did you know the yuck that causes pink eye can live on a surface for a month?  I only know this because it's an occupational hazard where I work; one which I've been fortunate enough to avoid.  Of course, pink eye is not the worst thing you can contract from another person, but it's pretty gross.  No wants to wake up with their eye crusted shut and looking like the weeping dead.

    I don't know what would cause something like this to happen to you, but I'm sure Jenny McCarthy will tell you not to vaccinate against it.  Who would have thought some idiot television personality wasn't in fact the utmost authority when it came to infectious diseases?  Crazy.

    Ferg and Grody Shogun's Young Gohst is looking like he may need a trip to ye old apothecary to get a tube of ointment.  Anything you need a tube of ointment for just sounds like the grossest thing possible doesn't it?  I don't know what ails him, but it looks contagious.  This resin figure has been given the "infected" treatment from Scott Wilkowski and is available for preorder right now from Lulubell Toy Bodega.  You have until March 1st at 9am pacific time to secure yourself one for $70.  Maybe if you lick it you'll build up your immune system.

http://www.lulubelltoys.com/

Mixed Parts Boogeyman from Cure x Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Most kids worry that the boogeyman or some other monster is hiding under their bed, but I never did.  I figured they'd be in the closet, where it was much more spacious.  Knowing that no monster would want to hide beneath where I slept, I tried it out myself one day.  I was about 5 or 6 at the time and it was close to diner time, so I slid under there to hide from my parents.  They called me to come to the table but I didn't answer.  They looked all over the house, the backyard, anywhere they could think of, while I had my face in my hands barely able to control my laughter.  I thought I had pulled off a Houdini level disappearing act.  That is until I heard my mom on the phone with the police reporting me missing.  Panic had set in but it was too late; I was running down hill with my little prank and I was gonna crash hard at the bottom.  The cops showed up, gave me a lecture, and diner was cold.  And thus began the runaway train that is my life of crime.  

    Just kidding.  But for that day, proved that no monster other than a mischievous child who was in a lot of trouble was living under my bed.  If I had seen these guys prior to that, I might have thought twice about going down there.  Cure Toys has released their newest mixed parts Boogeyman through Lulubell Toy Bodega and they are available right this second!  Limited to only 1 per customer, you can choose from the unpainted ones you see above for $89, or the painted ones below for $99.  These things are very limited and will sell out soon, so get you hind parts to http://www.lulubelltoys.com/ before they're gone.  

Solar Stare Ultrus Bog from Skinner x Lulubell Toy Bodega

    We're doing some fascinating stuff in space right now.  We landed a little doohickey on a comet, we've got a Power Wheel on Mars driving around and finding ancient organic chemistry (like historical meth or something?) and the new Star Wars movie has got the whole world a buzz.  Space is the place to be and be seen.  But like your mom, space is vast and filled with unexplored areas our feeble human minds couldn't dream of.  What lurks there, waiting to enslave us?

    Could it be Ultrus Bog, that horrible beast that sprung forth from the mind of Skinner?  I dunno, I don't even know what is in my basement.  But I know that I love Ultrus Bog and you can love this new Solar Stare version from Lulubell Toy Bodega.  Time is running out though, because preorders went live for this dude yesterday, and will end in six days.  Six days!!!!!!!!!!  Cross someone off of your Christmas list that you really didn't like anyway and buy this for yourself.  

Order now at http://www.lulubelltoys.com/

Rancid Raptor Blind Bags from James Groman x Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Did you see the trailer for the new Jurassic Park movie?  No, me neither, because a trailer for some indie space film called Star Wars came out and made me forget that other movies exist.  To say I'm excited for another Star Wars film is like saying Stephen Hawking is ok at math.  I'm so excited that I think I ruptured something, metaphorically of course.  I metaphorically ruptured all of my major organs with the excitement I could not contain.  Sadly, my health insurance doesn't cover things that can't be viewed on a CT Scan, so I might metaphorically die.  Metaphorically.

    But dinosaurs are still cool in my book, especially these little dudes from James Groman.  They're called Rancid Raptors, which makes them sound like bad mamma jammas, and they're available right this second from Lulubell Toy Bodega.  They're sold blind bagged, so you may get the standard army green version, or one of the random mixed in colors you see above those.  

NYCC Exclusive Shub Zeroth "Evangelioth" from Metacrypt x Lulubell Toys

     Oh, dear God what have our horrid thoughts brought forth?  What have our wicked ways forced from beneath the Earth's crust, bringing with it our end?  And where, oh where I say, have I left my pants?  Seriously, I need to go buy cat food and nobody is trying to see my milky thighs.  

     Shub Zeroth! Shub Zeroth!  That's my impression of wicked villagers chanting the name of this unholy beast.  Villagers, that if the law were fair, we would have burned as witches and avoided this whole "giant blood thirsty goat demon problem" we now have.  Just kidding, I love Shub Zeroth and Metacrypt will be releasing this newest version at New York Comic Con through Lulubell Toy's booth # 408.  Christmas is coming, and your favorite toy blogger (me, obviously) accepts his gifts year round.  I'll give you one of my new stickers.  Fine, you can have two. 

NYCC Exclusive "Inner Beast" from Scott Wilkowski x Monster Worship x Lulubell Toys

   I can feel my wallet getting thinner every time I do a post about New York Comic Con.  The fact that I just bought a car, or just paid my mortgage is weighing heavily on my brain, so much so that I think my eyes might be bulging out a little.  But there's so much goodness to be had, that I can then bring home and take pictures of and put in my display cases and drool on every once in a while.   Why must I be tormented so?  Why couldn't I just start a website about professional wrestling, or flea markets or abandoned places in New Jersey or anything else that doesn't make me want everything I see?

   Look at how amazing Monster Worship's Alter Beast figure looks with one of Scott Wilkowski's sweet skeletal forms stuffed inside?  It's a thing of beauty and will be on sale from the folks at Lulubell Toys at booth #408 on a first come, first served basis.  

Ultimate Color Version Rotten Rexx Preorder from James Groman x Lulubell Toy Bodega

    The way our world is today you have to be prepared for anything.  For instance, what would you do if you're sitting peacefully on your couch, trying to watch Naked and Afraid, and a group of murderous clowns kick in your front door?  I know what I would do, because my entire house is filled with objects that while not only decorative, could also crack a grown man's skull.  In the bedroom my wife has a concrete Virgin Mary statue that will have you seeing Holy Ghosts as she smacks you upside your head with it, and our living room is littered with curiosities that could easily fit into a plastic bag labeled as "Exhibit Number One".  Form + function = a nightmare for any punk that comes and tries to take your stuff.  

    James Groman's Rotten Rexx would make a suitable anti-burglar weapon/object of wonder for any household.  This beast stands 15 inches tall and is one of the most massive hunks of plastic I've ever seen.  You grab this sucker with two hands, start swinging, and you're spreading the pain like mono at summer camp.  Heck, they might just take one look at him, decide that you have to be a looney tune for owning it, and take off running.  This dude is completely sick looking all painted up like this.  You could probably stare at it for a month straight and not catch every detail.  And I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking "Alright Chris, I love this undead prehistoric bro, but I can't possibly afford anything so amazing on my budget."  But you can sucka, because this hand painted monstrosity is only $200.  $200!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    There are crappy mass produced toys that cost way more than that and I dare say you couldn't even scratch a would-be attacker with them.  

    The preorder window is open now through Lulubell Toy Bodega and will remain open for three weeks to give you plenty of time to scrounge up the funds you need.  Make it happen at http://lulubelltoys.com/.

Monster Worship at SDCC

    Monster Worship is making the trek west for San Diego Comic Con and is bringing a metric butt ton of stuff for you.  Lets get to it sucka.

    From the twisted mind of Johnny Ryan come his Prison Pit creations Cannibal Fu**face and Rottweiler Herpes.  How are these not characters in the WWE?  Someone get Vince McMahon on the phone.  They're unpainted, yellow as all get out, and rarer than a watchable Jennifer Aniston film.  Each one is $75 ya cheapskate.

     

    Where my Galaxy People at?  Ok, that was lame of me to say and now my street cred level has dropped below zero.  I would like to apologize to all of my friends, my family, and my fans that I let down.  I will now be entering a rehab facility to help me work through my problems.  These little dudes are $25 each or $75 for the set, cause that's how math works, son.  

    Oh, this is something else from Johnny Ryan and it's called Mass Murder.  That is a not a good name for a child at all, so don't be easily influenced by pop culture and name your kid that.  You're just asking to drive up to the federal penitentiary every weekend for the rest of their natural life.  But he is all sparkly, which I'm a sucker for.  $85 will get you one.  

    These are the tiniest little Greasebats ever.  Jeff Lamm created these wee little bros and they are $15 each in slime green or unpainted glow in the dark.  Don't put them in your nose. 

    This guy looks like fun and not horrifying at all.  Just kidding, he scares me a bit.  Not pee my pants scared, but scared enough that I wouldn't take my eyes off of him for any period of time, less he catch you on the sneak!!!!  Michael Skattum designed this freaky dude and you can have your very own for $50.

   If you want any of this goodness you have one chance this Friday at 3:30pm at the Lulubell Toys booth # 5047 when they start giving out tickets for the sale which will last from 4-6.  

SDCC Exclusive Shub Zeroth from Metacrypt x DSKI One

    People are always asking me for advice on how to woo the fairer sex.  Actually, no one has ever asked me that, but I'm gonna tell you anyway with an example from this past Sunday.  First, my wife and I drove out to the boondocks of Pennsylvania to do a bit of antiquing.  There's nothing women love more than buying dead people's treasures.  Gets 'em all in the mood for romance. Next we ate lunch at our favorite spot in the continental US that serves German food.  After gorging ourselves on piles of meat we then headed home to watch the WWE wrasslin pay per view.  And that my friends is not only how you show a woman a good time, that is how you stay happily married.  If they aren't impressed by a date like that you should cut your loses and leave them on the side of the road because it's obvious they're terrible people.  

    This San Diego Comic Con exclusive Shub Zeroth reminds me of some good antiquing with that nice patina he's sporting.  I'm a sucker for a good patina, and I want this dude pretty badly.  I would not be opposed to showering you with praise if you buy me one.  Metacrypt made him, DSKI One painted him up, and he will be available at 1pm Thursday at the Lulubell Toys booth # 5047.  They will also have some unpainted grey versions and some green and white severed heads that are fun for kids to play with.  If anything doesn't sell (which would be stupid of all of you attending) it will be made available at Brian Ewing's booth # 4503.  

New Young Gohst from Ferg x Grody Shogun x Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Uggh, I have a sinus infection.  And it's not as if they aren't sucky any time of the year, but they're especially sucky when it's 90 degrees out.  It's hot, the humidity is high, and you can barely breath because all of your cranial cavities are filled with snot.  I just felt like complaining a bit to start my Friday off on the right foot.

    This guy is looking like he's having a rough go of it as well.  This dude is the latest Young Gohst from Ferg x Grody Shogun and is somehow made of a mixture of glow in the dark, red, teal, and magenta vinyl.  I don't know how they do it, but it gives him the look of having gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson with his hands tied behind his back.  Getting punched in the face repeatedly is probably not a good way to clear your congestion.  

   If you want one of these there is gonna be a limited 24 hour pre-order window open starting June 30th at 10am Pacific time.  These suckers are made to order and each one will be unique.  Available only from http://www.lulubelltoys.com/.