X-Files Pop! Vinyl Figures from Funko

    Good lord did I ever have a crush on Agent Dana Scully when I was a teenager.  Not that the X-Files wasn't one of my favorite shows because of the great stories, but Gillian Anderson's character ensured I was glued to my tv every time a new episode aired.  Here's a six degrees of separation story for you:  

    Sharon and I used to be friends with a guy who worked on video games and other intellectual properties.  When he lived in Vancouver his boss was Gillian Anderson's husband (they're since divorced).  This is at the same time when people started cutting and pasting celebrities head's onto random naked bodies and evidently they used to torment this guy every time they found a new one featuring his wife (of which there were A LOT apparently).  How this dude never snapped and killed them all I'll never know, but that's pretty much how the story ended every time I ever heard it told.  I for one would have defended him in the hopes that I got invited over for dinner and could steal whatever I could fit in my pockets that belonged to her.  Ok, I don't steal, but the thought would have crossed my mind.  Though I could have taken her tooth brush and frozen it until they perfected cloning.  Imagine explaining that one to your wife when she asks why there's a toothbrush next to her Hot Pockets in the freezer.   

    Not only do you have to file your taxes next April, but you now have to buy these X-Files Pop! Vinyls from Funko.  Hopefully you get a nice refund so you can get them all and not have to pick and choose which ones you want.  See how I just want the best for you?  

Cthulhu Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    I've decided my favorite genre of monster is anything that is lying dormant on the ocean floor, waiting to enslave mankind.  The joke's on Cthulhu though, because we've already been enslaved by our cell phones.  Yesterday, Sharon and I decided to begin celebrating our anniversary by eating lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, followed by a visit to the Body Worlds Animal exhibit.  Before we continue, I would like to offer my critique on the Cheesecake Factory.  First off, why are the employees dressed like an orderly in a mental hospital?  The all white kinda made me nervous, as if someone was going to come to the table and give me a little something to help me sleep.  Then I'd wake up in a straight jacket waiting for my turn on the electro shock machine.  It's creepy.  Secondly, what in the world is going on with the decor?  "Tuscan villa on acid" is not a good design choice.  The food is pretty good though, so I can't be too hard on them.

    While we were eating at the Cheesecake Factory I noticed a young couple, probably in their 20's, at an adjoining table.  The only time they put their phones down was when it was time to eat.  No conversation whatsoever that didn't involve talking about how they liked their food.  Then as soon as they were done they were back on the phones, completely ignoring one another in favor of seeing what everyone else was up to on Facebook.  Is this really what life has come to?  If so, whenever Cthulhu makes his way to land he's gonna be sadly disappointed with the state of things.  At best he'll trend on Twitter for a day or so, probably get a ton of uploads to Instagram, and then he'll be forgotten.

Cthulhu:  "I am here to enslave mankind."

Mankind:  "That's a pretty boring status update, so, like, I'm just gonna play Candy Crush until my retinas melt."

Cthulhu:  "But, you don't understand.  I have risen from the depths to rule once more over this world."

Mankind:  #annoyingseamonster

    But as a consolation prize, the Old One will be forever immortalized in Pop! Vinyl form by Funko this January.  

NYCC Exclusive Pop! Vinyl from Funko x Fugitive Toys

    I have a bit of a problem in the fact that even when I narrow my collecting scope, I still want everything that's ever made that I can get my hands on that falls within my restrictions.  In the world of Pop! Vinyl I like a lot of them, but my main focus is Batman.  Seems reasonable right?  Until you learn that there are like 1,000 different iterations of Batman.  And who has to have every single one of them? This guy.  Thus far I have 11 of them, which isn't bad being that some of them are pretty hard to find exclusives.  But it is kinda fun tracking them all down, and I almost enjoy that part of it more than even owning the figures.  

    I have a lot of other Pop! Vinyls from Funko, including a few from the Thor movies, which makes these two versions of Frost Giant Loki pretty tempting.  Both of them as well as the Wonder Woman figures are Fugitive Toys exclusives for this weekend's New York Comic Con.  If you want any of them I would make a bee line to booth # 410 cause there's always a lot of interest in any Funko exclusives.  

NYCC Exclusives from Funko x Toy Tokyo

    New York Comic Con happens is just 8 days away and to prepare myself I took all of next week off from work.  You gotta be on your game when you go to this thing.  You have to be mentally sharp so you can seek out all the best deals before anyone else.  You have to be physically strong to push your way through walls of people that jam every aisle.  And you have to build your immune system to levels that would melt down a nuclear reactor, because someone there is going to sneeze on you.  It's inevitable.   

    One of my first stops every year is to visit the folks at Toy Tokyo.  You can't even call their setup a booth because they create a miniature version of their store in the showroom.  And by miniature I mean kinda huge and bigger than what you would expect.  They always have a ton of older items that I missed out on the first time around, but being a convention you know it's all about the exclusives, and they have some pretty great ones courtesy of Funko.  Here's a rundown of what I know about so far.

    Freddy and Jason 8-bit ReAction figures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Do I need to say anymore to entice you to want these?  They sell themselves, really.  For those of you that don't know, they are sporting those wacky colors because that's how they looked in their hideously awful Nintendo games way back in the day.  It's kind of a weird nostalgia trip to think "hey these look just like those games I was really pissed about wasting my money on when I was a kid, I MUST HAVE THEM".  You know you need them.

    Do these look unfamiliar to you?  That's because these Omamori Pop! Vinyl figures are usually  available to customers in Asia exclusively.   But Toy Tokyo will be the only store in North America to have these in this black and gold color scheme.  You're not gonna find these sitting on a shelf at Wal-Mart, so make sure you you get there early, cause people are gonna go nuts when they see them.         

    Looks like someone parked under a tree filled with ghost birds.  Do ghost birds still bombard your car with poop?  Someone should suggest the Ghost Hunter guys to go and investigate that, cause if I'm driving around in my sweet Hyundai and it's covered in ghost poop I'm gonna be pretty mad.  I'm sure that if I was driving Ecto-1 around I wouldn't have a problem getting a free car wash though.  

    What, there's still more?  Take a deep breath cowboy, cause the exclusives keep coming in just about every style of figure Funko makes.  Some of the Hikari soft vinyl figures they create benefit from this style of manufacturing more than others.  Astro Boy definitely looks awesome in both of these incarnations.  From what I hear these guys are uber limited and they would fit nicely in with your vintage Japanese toys.  Don't have any vintage Japanese toys?  Now you'll have a good excuse to go and buy some.  

     

    The Creature from the Black Lagoon used to be the most menacing thing anyone had ever seen in the water.  Then some shark from New England shows up and people forget all the pioneering work he did in snatching bikini clad ladies.  Well not today, for today we will mark his achievements in underwater terror with this figure.  Put it in a place of pride in your home, maybe next to your high school diploma, or meemaw's ashes.  

    Get these and more by visiting booth number 101.  

The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies Pop! Vinyl from Funko

   Oh am I ever excited for the last Hobbit movie to come out.  The first one was ok, but I was completely in love with the second one.  It was the closest to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and really brought back good memories of seeing those in the theater.  Even after nearly three hours I was completely ready for them to go ahead and finish the story.  

    And just how amazing does Middle Earth look in every film?  I wish Sharon and I could move there, but first they're gonna need to install some Wi-Fi cause I've kinda become addicted to this whole internet thing.  And I'd really like to check out their bathroom situation, cause that was never addressed in the books or the movies.  I would imagine the elves have thoroughly addressed indoor plumbing, as they don't seem to be a people down with using the closest bush.  But what about Mordor and all of the orcs?  Seriously, I live near Camden, which makes Mordor look like Magic Mountain.  They would mug Sauron in a heart beat.  

    You know if a new film is coming out you gotta get some new toys as well.  Funko will be releasing these new Pop! Vinyl figures in October and they include foxy elf Tauriel (who wasn't in the book but I'll let it slide because Evangeline Lilly), Sauron, and two super sized versions of Smaug:  the regular one has black eyes and 1 out of 12 of them will have those creepy serpent eyes that you'll be seeing as you try to sleep later.  

Thor Series 2 Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    In Norse mythology, Thor rides around on a chariot that is drawn by two huge goats.  In my real life, I now drive around in a Hyundai Accent that makes me look like I'm gonna take the kids to tee ball practice.  Yesterday the wife and I bought our first ever car from an actual car dealership after our truck, which we had for nearly 12 years and put well over 200,000 miles on it, was determined to need repairs that far exceeded its worth.  She works close to home so she is now the proud commandI on my much longer commute in our new, and uber practical, little grey car.  To tell you the truth I was skeptical about it, but it's kinda like driving a go kart.  I just really don't want to pay for it, so I'm gonna need someone to throw me a telethon or something.  I've lived a long time without a car payment, and the amount of paper work they make you sign makes me think that I may have given them the right to come in and take my internal organs while I sleep.  Their tactics to make you sign your life away are pretty sneaky.  It was so hot I couldn't stop sweating and all they had to drink was coffee and it was like something that I'm sure the United Nations should probably look into.  All I know is that I was starving and willing to do just about anything to get a hamburger and some air conditioning.  They use the same tactics to get people to confess to murders.  

     Thor's friends never have to worry about down payments or interest rates or gap insurance.  And they get to sword fight and wear killer armor.  It's pretty much the best life ever, and while we can't live in Asgard our avoid the trappings of modern transportation, we can own these Pop! Vinyl figures from Funko and live vicariously through them.  Well, this October we can anyway, cause that's when they're released.  

    

    

WWE.COM Exclusive Pop! Vinyls from Funko

    This week Sharon and I have been engrossed in the WWE Network watching all the Monday Night War episodes about the WWE vs. WCW feud in the 90's.  That was probably the best time ever to be a wrestling fan, because you had these two companies that hated each other so much they would do almost anything to get you to watch.  Competition breeds creativity and there's nothing more entertaining than watching people fall off of ladders and through tables.  I still watch wrestling, though I did take a long break from it, and I still enjoy it, even if the results can at times be a little predictable.  There's something about it that just sucks you in.  And seeing it live is like nothing else in the world.  The crowd is made up of people from every walk of life and seeing the kids there decked out in their favorite wrestler's merch and holding their signs reminds me of when I used to go when I was little.  I was always mesmerized that these characters I watched on tv every week were in the same place as I was and other people all over the world were at home watching what I was seeing unfold in person.  There aren't too many of my favorite tv shows that I can just go and watch as they film an episode, let alone feel a part of.  

    I got a little sidetracked there, but here's the meat of the issue.  You like toys?  Yup.  You like wrestling?  Yup.  Then get yourself some wrestling toys sucker.  Of course, we being grown ups (I hope you're a grown up or else your parents need stricter controls on what they let you read online) we need things that are more collectible than what we used to play with outside.  That's what I dig about Pop! Vinyls from Funko.  They have this fun feel to them, but they also feel a little more grown up, like you could fill your desk with them at the office and not everyone will think you're completely weird.  No guarantees though.  And www.wwe.com have these John Cena and AJ Lee figures available right now to add to your collection.  You could make em hold hands and make CM Punk jealous, then you could start your own fantasy matches that I can assure you your coworkers will find strange.  Best to keep those to yourself.     

WWE Series 2 Pop! Vinyls from Funko

    You know what I miss in modern professional wrestling?  Those sick interviews where they would yell about how badly they were going to beat up the other guy.  They get so worked up until their faces turned red and they were short of breath and it looked like someone trying to do a dramatic interpretation of a stroke.  Let me present to you the all time king, Mr. Dusty Rhodes:

    Are you not inspired to go out there and conquer your enemies?  This is how I wish we could all handle our problems in real life.  You got a problem with some idiot at work?  You get a man in a suit with a microphone and camera, and you tell him about the beating you're about to lay on your foes.  In a perfect world this would lead to a sick match in a ring that all businesses would be required to have to settle hr disputes, but since we live in a world of mommas boys and lawyers, we have to work out our problems like "civilized" folk, whatever that means.  There's no issue between two adults that can't be solved with a choke slam through a table and that's fact bubba! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Look at these new WWE Pop! Vinyl from those good people at Funko. I'm gonna march my way down to the store, pick up one of each from the shelves, march em right to the checkout counter, Ric Flair chop the cashier, apologize thoroughly for getting carried away, pay for em with good old American cash money, then put them in a place of prominence in my house while I watch the WWE Network for a week straight.  But I gotta wait until this fall when they're released.  Poop.  

    

Universal Monsters Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    Remember the simpler times, when the only monsters you had to be scared of were these guys, and not your creepy neighbor with the mugshot and extensive criminal record you found while doing a Google search?  Back in the day you had to learn your neighbor was a creep the hard way: when the cops and the news team showed up.  But these guys were still way scarier according to my partially repressed memory.  

    This September you can relive all the fun/excitement/terror of Universal Monsters with these Pop! Vinyl figures from Funko.  Because of all the cool stuff they make I may never be able to retire, but I'll have the best toy collection of any of my geriatric friends.  

Toy Tokyo Exclusive Red Batmobile Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    If you're lucky enough to ever be in New York City you could wait in line for hours to go to the top of the Empire State Building, fight through crowds of very confused tourists in Times Square, or you could skip all that stuff and go to the greatest landmark the city has to offer:  Toy Tokyo.  I'm not blowing smoke either, Toy Tokyo is my favorite store in all of New York.  Even though I've been there a handful of times it never ceases to make my draw drop and turn my brain to mush with the shear amount of things I want.  Sharon just holds stuff up and I nod and drool and that's how we know what to buy.  Seriously, this place does not suck and nothing will have ever made you wish you were rich so badly.  

   And Toy Tokyo has all the hookups, so they get cool stuff like this exclusive Red Batmobile Pop! Vinyl set from Funko.  Now, they are doing something really different for this release for those of you that will be trying to order online.  It will only be available (in limited numbers mind you) at this new website they set up:  http://toytokyoexclusive.com/.  Don't try and go to their regular site, cause there will be no Batman for you.  There all also other things that you need to know about this release, and for that info I direct you to https://toytokyo.com/blogs.  Seriously, you better read it if you want one.  These drop tomorrow (Tuesday, January 8th) at 2pm on that special site I just told you about a few sentences ago.  You got this.  

SDCC Exclusive Ghostbuster Pop! Vinyls from Funko

    It's that time of year again, when all of us that are unable to go to San Diego Comic Con start making pacts with whatever deity will help us secure those exclusive toys.  I've only seen a few things so far, but I think these Ghostbuster Pop! Vinyl variants from Funko are gonna be pretty tough to beat.  You might want to run and grab a drool towel to protect your internet device as you gaze upon their majesty.  

God of War Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    Kratos is the baddest dude in the history of video games.  He slaughtered every monster that looked at him sideways, became a god, destroyed not only the titans but the entire Greek pantheon and then plunged the entire world into unimaginable chaos.  And he did it all while being forced to wear the ashes of his dead wife and daughter.  Doesn't make that dolphin tattoo you got on your ankle during spring break much of a good story anymore does it?

   Funko has gone and tried to make the former God of War as cute as they could in Pop! Vinyl form.  He's available now to inspire you to greater heights of manliness.  

Sharknado Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    This is, by far, the greatest Pop! Vinyl toy that Funko has ever made.  I hope whoever designed this just straight up quite afterwards and went to work as a landscaper or something, because how do you top this?  Not only do I hope they quite, I hope that upon it's completion they stood up, flipped their desk over and walked away in slow motion as it burst into flames.   This titan of toys will be available in June, just in time to get you psyched up for the sequel.  

Amazon Exclusive Game of Thrones Bundle Packs from Funko

    I would like to firmly smack the person that scheduled the season premier of Game of Thrones at the exact same time as Wrestlemania.  I hate having to make decisions like that about what I'm going to watch, and in the end Wrestlemania won out.  Because if I didn't watch wrasslin last night the internet would have spoiled it for me and I wouldn't be able to watch RAW tonight because that would have spoiled it for me.  I'm hoping that those of you who watched Game of Thrones will be kind and keep it to yourself until the rest of us catch up.  Please and thank you.  But holy crap if you watched WWE like I did you're probably half pissed/half excited this morning.  I'm not gonna ruin it for you in case you didn't see it, but it was pretty surprising.  

    To celebrate the return of Game of Thrones (which I missed) Funko has created these two bundle packs that are exclusive to Amazon.com.  You get a t-shirt, a figure from the show, and a keychain of said figure.  The Daenerys Targaryen figure is brand spanking new and since we named one of our cats after her I'm gonna have to get one.  These will ship out at the end of May but are up for preorder now.

Pulp Fiction Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    Fact: Pulp Fiction nearly made John Travolta cool.  Then he went back to being an extreme weirdo again, but for that one brief moment, he was in a movie that was actually watchable.  Hollywood is a strange place that I will never understand.  I could go on for quite awhile about people who are allowed to continue to make movies that no one in the real world can take seriously, but that's what the rest of the internet is for.

    I do enjoy Pulp Fiction.  I enjoy just about everything Quentin Tarantino does, because you never really know what to expect from him, but you know that it will be crazy.  But even in his twisted worlds I don't think he could have ever predicted that characters from one of his films would be turned into cute little figures.  Or that you can't make Samuel L. Jackson not look mean no matter how hard you try.  Funko has continued their efforts to turn everything that ever existed into their Pop! Vinyl figures and I'm totally ok with that.  Look for them in stores next month.  

Rocky and Bullwinkle Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    What, no Boris and Natasha figures?  You're killing me Funko, but I'll let it slide.  At the rate that they make these Pop! Vinyl figures, I have calculated that I will have one in my likeness within the next 15 years.  It's bound to be a best seller, cause I'm sure my mom would buy them all.  But while you're waiting for my action figure in the first series of the "Heroes of Toy Blogging" line, allow these Rocky and Bullwinkle toys to keep you company.  They will be unleashed upon the world in March, sans their Russian adversaries.