NYCC Exclusive Bone Usir DX from Splurrt x Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    If I owned this toy I would sleep with it every night.  I don't mean in the sicko way ya perv (maybe though) but in the innocent way a child cuddles his favorite toy.  It's not only cause I would love it so much, but it's to keep other people from trying to touch it.  My life is like those commercials for the Dodge Dart, where the neighbor is always trying to come over and touch the other dude's car but he's all like "no bro, keep your filthy mits to yourself."  Why is everyone's first inclination when they see something they like to pick it up?   I'd probably be bad at owning a store, cause I'd put everything under glass.  You want to touch something?  You can touch it all you want after you pay for it and take it home.  Until then it belongs to me.

    The chances of me scoring one of these sick Bone Usirs from Splurrt and Mutant Vinyl Hardcore is pretty slim.  For one, they only made 7 of them, and for two, I'm not the best at parting with my money.  It takes me some convincing (mostly in my own head) that my house won't get foreclosed on if I splurge a little, and by then they will all be sold.  So what I'm gonna do is start convincing myself now in the days leading up to New York Comic Con and by the time they go on sale this Friday at 2pm at the Monster Island booth, I should be ready to pull the financial trigger.  Plus it helps when you're in a crowd of people and you wanna join in on all the excitement.  I imagine that's how most people die from drinking too much, actually.  Peer pressure will help me bring this sucker home!

Bone Usir Dx from Splurrt x Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    Ok, I need this.  Like, really badly.  I was gonna start a campaign on that Go Fund Me website so I could raise enough cash to buy one, but then I felt kinda bad because there were people there with legitimate issues that could really use the help.  But I'm not above shameless begging on my own website, free of disasters or diseases that might make me feel like a bit of a heel.  Donate now, donate often, because like an otter to an ice cream sandwich:

   Now that I have made my impassioned plea, I shall tell you more about the object of my affections.  This, the greatest toy of this year, nay, this decade, is the Bone Usir DX.  Featuring the combined workings of Splurrt and Mutant Vinyl Hardcore, this fine specimen will be available this Saturday at noon Eastern time in both of the versions you see above.  I don't know how much they'll be, but I do know that they will only be available from http://splurrt.bigcartel.com/.

Masked Diggler from Splurrt x Devil's Head Productions

    My wife Sharon used to manage a video game store and she would always come home with great stories about her staff and the weird people that would grace them with their often insane presence.  I could dedicate another entire website to the funny stories she had, but one of my favorites that I wish I had more reasons to quote, was the time she was trying to get an employee to do something and he kept asking her "why".  After a few minutes of back and forth her patience had run as thin as OJ's alibi, and she said to him in what was her most menacing voice "if you don't do it I'm going to rip your face off and wear it as a Halloween mask"!  She had completely unleashed her inner Ed Gein on this dude and I was never more proud.  She's probably gonna be pissed I told the world about this, but it's what the people want to read.  Or they want to read about sparkly vampires, I really don't know and am pretty out of touch.

    Splurrt's Diggler has decided that he is going to cosplay as Devil's Head Productions Alavaka for this convention season.  It's a cool idea that combines two of my favorite toys.  It's like, packed with plastic value, or something.  These suckers are going to sell out quickly, so if you want one you better  clear your commitments for this Saturday, May 17, when they go on sale through http://devilsheadquarters.storenvy.com

   

Unpainted Cadaver Twins Lotto from Splurrt

    You know what my wife bought me for my birthday?  A mummified fetal pig.  You're jealous, I can sense it.  We're weirdos I guess and have lots of strange stuff laying about the house.  The year before she bought me an antique electric shock machine, which she soon regretted when I made plans to get it into working order to help her on days she feels sad.  I have since signed a document that legally binds me to never zap her with it or she would leave my lunch meat outside while I was at work.  Love is crazy right?

    Splurrt is tapping into all my nightmares about having kids with his Cadaver Twins toys.  Well, not the nightmare about them touching and breaking all my stuff, but the ones about them being born as little demons.  I don't know what I did in my past lives, but I would speculate that it was probably bad and this is the kind of retribution I can expect.  Where would you even buy clothes for a kid like this?  

     If you're ready to welcome this plastic bundle of joy into your life, then you will have to enter his lottery when it goes live this Saturday (January 25th) at 3pm Eastern time.  You have your choice of unpainted black or glow in the dark blue.  Get all the details and enter for a chance to buy one at http://www.splurrt.com/. 

    

Watermelon Chewing Gum Cadaver Twins from Splurrt

    You know, its never really too early to shop for Valentine's Day.  Flowers wilt, chocolate melts, but Cadaver Twins are forever.  Splurrt is releasing this Watermelon Chewing Gum edition of his disturbing figure tomorrow (September 14th) at 12pm Eastern time.  Two lucky folks will get one of the Freezer Pop chase versions, which perfectly illustrate the dangers of leaving your conjoined monster babies on ice for too long.  

http://www.splurrt.com/

Usir/Cadaver Kid Mashup from Splurrt at FOE Gallery Tomorrow

    Is it wrong to think this guy is kinda cute?  Is this like some more modern Rorschach test that I've just completely failed and that will lead to my confinement in a mental hospital?  While I go nail my front door shut to keep the men in white coats out, you should plan on making a trip to FOE Store and Gallery tomorrow for the release of these Usir/Cadaver Kid mashups by Splurrt.  Aren't they just so huggable?  

Lost Worlds: Creatures from Beyond at Stranger Factory

    Oooooooooh this is gonna be so good.  Stranger Factory is Albuquerque (do you know how freakin hard that is to spell) New Mexico is having a new show that starts tomorrow featuring some of my favorite toy people.  Lost Worlds: Creatures from Beyond will feature new work from Paul Kaiju, Splurrt, and Mutant Vinyl Hardcore, and more.  Check out some of the stuff that Splurrt is sending for the show right here:

    The opening reception is tomorrow night from 6-9pm and hopefully some of this stuff will make its way online in the near future.  

    Paul Kaiju will also be teaching a class in mini figure sculpting this Sunday.  For $85 you get a 3 hour class with the man himself with an additional hour long q&a afterwards.  Learn all of his secrets and then become a toy making phenomenon yourself.  Then have your own show, become rich and famous, and date a Kardashian sister.  

Custom Cadaver Kids from Splurrt x Skinner

   Being dead does absolutely nothing for your figure.  Everything goes all loosey goosey and bugs take up residence to open up their own little buffets.  It's pretty crappy.  But if you're gonna be a dead sack of meat you might as well look the best you can doing it.

   Skinner painted up 10 of Splurrt's Cadaver Kids and they will go on sale tomorrow (July 4th) at noon Pacific time at http://shopcriticalhit.com/.  Decomposition smell not included.

Aloha Diggler from Splurrt x D-Lux

    Check out this bro in his bright summer colors.  And he glows in the dark like a kid from Chernobyl?  Sold.  I love the toys Splurrt makes, and while I wouldn't normally be into these bright colors, they really do work for this figure.  D-Lux did the custom paint on these and you can pick one up from jis webstore tomorrow (June 1) at 3pm Eastern time.  You better bookmark http://dlux.bigcartel.com/ if you hope to score one.  These guys will sell quickly and if you don't get one you will be thrown into a deep depression made all the darker because you don't have this toy to glow like a beacon of hope.  This is how you die.