Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Kylo Ren Artfx+ Statue from Kotobukiya




    I actually wasn't nervous at all about liking the new Star Wars movie.  I liked what J.J. Abrams did with the last two Star Trek films and figured he was smart enough to know the consequences of screwing this up.  After those crappy prequels, death was not off the table if someone made another bad Star Wars film, but luckily everything worked out just fine.  I will admit however to being a tad apprehensive about Kylo Ren.  The dude looked cool, but I wasn't getting tricked into buying any merchandise until I made sure he wasn't dumb on film.  Not only was he a cool villain, but one that was deeply interwoven with the main characters.  He is a tortured, somewhat conflicted soul who could really shine in the next few sequels.  And I want a working version of that lightsaber.  

    Now Kylo Ren is being immortalized in Kotobukiya's Artfx+ line.  I like these dudes cause they come in pieces and you get to put em together, which may or may not make you feel a minor sense of pride.  Just remember to put him where your cats can't reach him him lest they put little teeth marks in him like they did with my Darth Vader one.  He now has a semi lumpy light saber and a hand that looks painfully arthritic.  They're lucky they're cute.

    This will be available in July but you can ensure you get one by preordering it now from http://www.kotous.com.


Monday, January 11, 2016

Hold On To Your Britches Cause I'm Reviewing The Stache Labbits from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot




      Moustaches are tricky.  Depending on the style and the shape they can mean so many different things.  Sometimes they mean that you may drive a sketchy van and just happen to lose your puppy whenever you're near a grade school.  They could mean that you're a trying to get the start up money to fund your artisanal vegan corn dog restaurant.   The moustache is the mixed signal of the facial hair world and it's time we push aside all the negativity it could convey and let it shine like the beacon of manhood it once was.  So before we continue on with this review I'd like to take a moment to reflect on some important moustaches that really should set the tone for how all you bros out there choose to man up going forward:


Burt Reynolds




Yosemite Sam


The Iron Sheik


Lando Calrissian 


Vlad the Impaler


     Now that the follicles on your lip have some folks to look up too, lets get down to Labbit business.  Frank Kozik and Kidrobot released these 10 inch Stache Labbits at the end of last year and boy are they pretty (in a strict manly sort of way of course). Each one features a high gloss finish that will force you to not take pictures of them while only wearing your underpants in case you ever want to run for public office.  


The things his high gloss finish has seen would break a lesser being.

    Of course the main feature of each is a moustache that is both full and unapologetically luscious.  This is what every man dreamed of as his teenage self tried desperately to cultivate the few weed-like hairs that sprouted on his upper lip.  No matter how many adults berated him with the old wive's tale of shaving to make the hair grow in thicker, he only focused of making his wispy little crumb brush the greatest chick magnet it could be.  Some of us, such as myself, were successful in our endeavors and have enjoyed the life that our moustaches have afforded us.  Others, like the sad fellow you see pictured below, live as a basement dwelling Gollum, responding to personal ads on Craigslist while needlessly combing the almost barren landscape beneath their nose.  


   I feel a nun should be following him through the streets yelling "shame" as he is being whipped.  Also, this may or may not be Justin Bieber.


    Having these Labbits in the house has already upped the previously high testosterone levels to unprecedented heights.  Right out of the box this one proceeded outside to berate me on the inefficiency of our heating and cooling unit and demanded we make a trip to Home Depot so he could gather the necessary tools to rebuild it:


We're gonna get this thing pumping air cold enough to store sides of beef in your living room.


    Then this bro went out looking for buffalo that we could turn into sides of beef and store in the living room:


    There is a distinct lack of buffalo in this place you call "New Jersey".  

    Look how good they look outside.  Maybe I can get a meeting with Kidrobot and we can work on a whole lawn decoration line to replace those creepy gnomes that everyone always buys.  Not that I don't like the creepy gnomes a little, but I want something standing guard over my tomatoes that represents me and not what the evil gardening conglomerates shove down my throat.  I don't need your whole Illuminati Powerball cause I'm gonna get rich the old fashioned way: by making stuff to confuse my neighbors.  

    I got a little off track there, as I sometimes do when genius strikes.  You know you want to have more Labbits in your house, cause duh why wouldn't you?  All of this has just furthered your conviction that there's been a void that can only be filled by the manliest of man bunnies.  It's ok, because that very realization is the first step on your way to enlightenment, or something.  The second step is welcoming these follicly-superior beings into your home today by visiting www.kidrobot.com or checking out your favorite places to buy designer toys.  They can be the father figure you've so desperately needed all these years.  

    







R.I.P. David Bowie


Friday, January 8, 2016

"Buttercream" Mockbat Lottery from Paul Kaiju




    My wife and I bucked all sorts of traditions when we got married.  For starters we did it at a Philadelphia Flyers game in one of those fancy luxury suites rather than a church so we had no problem ignoring one of the more baffling things a couple can do, which is save part of their wedding cake to eat a year later.  I can think of much better ways to celebrate your anniversary than eating some stank old freezer burned confections.  But I do have an aversion to freezing food anyway, cause my mom used to freeze EVERYTHING.  Loaves of bread, snack cakes; if it was deemed edible it was deemed freezable.  There's not too many things in life worse than eating a sandwich with half thawed bread.

    This new Mockbat from Paul Kaiju is certified fresh indeed!  In fact, its down right pretty and looks delicious.  The only way you can own one is by entering the lottery when it goes live this Sunday at 6pm pacific time on www.paulkaiju.com.  All the details can be found there, while I can be found at the grocery store raiding their bakery.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

"It's a F.A.D." 8 Inch Dunny Signing and Release Party with J*Ryu






    I love this Dunny from J*Ryu for many different reasons.  For one, it's a Dunny and I'm kinda partial to these make-believe critters.  And for two, it pretty much matches my authentic personal brand.  This is the most versatile Dunny ever created when it comes to enhancing how Sharon and I decorate our home.  It's ornate, it looks vintage, and it's a toy.  It could be a piece of architectural salvage from a French house of ill repute or it could be a haunted artifact inhabited by the vengeful spirit of some ancient Japanese demon.  Either way, that pretty much sums up our home design philosophy.

    This thing is gorgeous in every version I've seen of it and now he's been shrunken down to a more manageable 8 inch size.  There's even a chance you might get a 1 out of 4 chase piece in beautiful pewter.  Either way they both come with a removable vinyl key that fits in its chest, which makes your options for displaying it that much more dynamic.  This Friday you'll not only be able to get your figure early; you can also get it signed by the artist himself during a release party at Kidrobot San Francisco.  All the details you need are in the picture you see there, including the promise of a very specific type of gift with purchase.  Wait a second, I think I finally understand what the F.A.D. stands for.  This is like the time I realized that Guns and Rose song "Mr. Brownstone" wasn't about some creepy old dude that lived next door to Axl.


Monday, January 4, 2016

Translucent Grey Hawgmaw Blanks from Missmonster


 


    I'm not one for resolutions, be it the new year or not, but I was looking forward to my day off to get back into painting some toys I've had laying around forever.  Until I had to go to work cause everyone has death sickness cause they swear flu shots don't work yet here I am, antibodies filling my nooks and crannies, and not the least bit sick.  Which didn't really turn out great for me, because like I mentioned before I had to go into work.  So in reality that flu shot totally screwed my plans for the day and the kicker for that is my insurance didn't even cover it.

    If you are unlike me and actually able to utilize your days off them you should paint toys and allow the rest of us to live vicariously through you. And you can start with this amazing figure by Missmonster called Hawgmaw.  This dude is 7 inches tall, is detailed out the booty, and is ready for you to let your creativity run wild.  Or just leave it blank and appreciate him as he is.  Or just do whatever cause I'm not your life coach and if I was you'd owe me a lot of back pay.  I'll have my secretary tally up the bill.

Get your Hawgmaw on at http://missmonster.myshopify.com.



Friday, January 1, 2016

"Sinister Sandstorm" Alien from Super7




    Did you stay up late last night, drink yourself silly, and watch the ball in Times Square drop as it ushered in the new year?  I can't say that I made it past 10:30 as I dozed off while watching Netflix.  I celebrated the end of 2015 like a boss!  And I refuse to celebrate the beginning of 2016 just yet, cause what if it sucks and I already was really awesome to it then I'll feel like I've been had?  You're not tricking me 2016, I'll celebrate you when you prove yourself!

    If you've been collecting these Alien soft vinyl figures from Super7 then 2016 is off to a great start for you, cause they just released this Sinister Sandstorm version.  Pick one up for yourself at www.super7store.com and set the tone for how this year is gonna go.