Meat Marbled Brain Bug Boogie Man from Cure X James Groman

   No I actually did not hit my head right before typing out the title of this figure, even though it would be safe to assume traumatic brain injury if you heard someone say it out loud.  Let's regroup.

   I had a dream once (like a sleeping dream not some great revelation of hope for mankind) that crab people that looked very similar to this stormed the shores of countries around the world and were laying waste to the human population.  My family and I were holding up in some random country house and they finally advanced upon us with their sea weapons and filthy attitudes.  All I had was a broadsword, because evidently I am not terribly practical in such apocalyptic situations.  I totally went for it though and was turning them into fodder for the crows when my damn alarm went off to get up for work.  I actually contemplated being late so I could see how the battle was going to go, but my love of capitalism ultimately won out.  I'd like to think my face at least made it onto a coin after I slaughtered them like a Red Lobster employee.

    No need to thank me from saving your hides from these things, cause I'm totally humble and all the praise would make me uncomfortable.  Build an army of your own and rescue humanity from impending doom.  Cure and James Groman created this figure, and Lulubell Toys are making them available to us all starting on the first day of the new year.  You will have a three day window to order as many of them as you want as long as you're willing to shell out the $200 each.  Get em at www.lulubelltoys.com.

20 Inch Squadt Gassed from Ferg

    Like my waistline, toys are getting bigger.  Sadly I can't say the same for my house, so there are tough decisions that need to be made for the sake of my toy collection.  The entertainment center is a dead man walking without question, and my couch has done painful things to my joints (while being stylish as hell) so sitting on the floor couldn't be much worse.  You've gotta have priorities when your happiness is at stake.

    This giant Squadt from Ferg is 20 inches of tactical fury ready for deployment to your home.  He comes with all the accessories you could ever want but here's the kicker:  there's only 55 of them in the entire world.  So only 55 people will get the joy of placing this behind their front door to act as a deterrent for anyone breaking in.  I'm telling you, if someone kicks your door in and sees this guy they're gonna think you're some made genius who created a little murder robot and all your loot will be totally safe.

   You'll have your shot at one this Saturday, December 31st from Rotofugi at the following times worldwide:

- New York 10:59 am
- Chicago 9:59 am
- Los Angeles 7:59 am
- London 3:59 pm
- Paris 4:59 pm
- Hong Kong 11:59 pm

www.rotofugi.com

Goodnight, Sweet Princess

Six Inch Vinyl Madballs from Kidrobot

    For those of you that don't know, I sometimes have posts pop up over on Kidrobot's blog.  Not being one to repeat myself, I do write completely different stuff for there and here, even for the same toy, so sometimes I get confused about what I have and haven't shared.  So even though I posted last week at blog.kidrobot.com about these killer vinyl Madballs it totally escaped me to do so here.  Allow me to rectify that now.

    You wanna know what makes these things special besides the fact that they're huge and come with little display stands and that owning them will make you the envy of everyone you know?  They were worked on by original Madballs creator James Groman.  That's right, suckas, the man behind the yuckiest toys ever was involved in these gems from Kidrobot.  Available in two different styles, including the awesome interpretation of the Kidrobot mascot, each six inch figure retails for $49.99 and they're both available right now.  Treat yourself.

1/6 Scale Daenerys Targaryen from threezero

    Daenerys Targaryen is the world's most famous single mother and she's got it pretty rough.  Not only does she have three unruly children who are just about the worst behaved heathens you've ever seen, but she's also trying to balance her lofty career aspirations.  She not all inspirational though, because she did lock two of her kids away when they weren't behaving, which surprisingly did not attract the attention of what passes for child protective services in Westeros.  Let he who thinks children don't deserve to be imprisoned when they're screaming in the grocery store cast the first stone.

    The detail on this figure, as expected from anything threezero produces, is beyond amazing and will probably give the rest of your toys some sort of complex about their appearance.  She is available for preorder right now at www.threezerostore.com and you're gonna need to upgrade to the exclusive version so you get all three of her dragons and a nice little perch for them to chill on.  Make sure you divide their time on it equally, cause God forbid one gets to use it longer than the other two.

 

    

Teal Glampyre from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    Do you think when you go see Kiss that it's actually them anymore?  Under all the makeup and costumes it really could be anybody.  I've always felt that whenever they go on tour that Gene and Paul just go into hiding and that it's two people from one of those tribute bands that actually plays the shows.  Somebody with access to facial recognition software needs to blow this case wide open and then give me my cut when they sell the story to TMZ.  

    This Glampyre dude is actually based on the "before" shot of Gene Simmons taken prior to his last face lift.  Just kidding (or am I), it is a completely original concept from Martin Ontiveros.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery, this 8 inches of teal is part blood sucker, park rock and roller, and all sweet Japanese vinyl.  Get one for yourself when they go on sale Tuesday December 20th at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.  

New Bootleg Weirdness from The Sucklord

    I noticed something in Wal Mart the other day that concerned me.  The bug spray was located directly next to the sandwich bags and the aluminum foil.  Someone determined that the stuff used to inflict a violent end on unwelcome guests in your house would be best positioned next to the objects you pack your children's lunch with.  It's kind of an odd choice, I thought, but then maybe I'm reading too much into it.  I've been accused of that (wrongly) on a few occasions, but I might add that my suspicions have kept me alive thus far, so who's overreacting now, mom?  

  Doing some last minute shopping for the toy collector/awesome blog dude on your list?  Then look no further than these new releases from The Sucklord.  Yeah, I said releases, because he has TWO crazy resin bootleg figure guys for the most discerning of connoisseurs.  Get one, get em both, get em now at www.Suckadelic.com.