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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Odin's Film Corner: The Death of Superman Lives




    I've been wanting to see The Death of Superman Lives since before it was made.  See, the film is about that aborted attempt to make Nicholas Cage the Caped Crusader and you know there had to be some fascinating stories that just begged to be told.  Then one day I'm on my little Google machine and I come across this documentary and it was quickly added to my must watch list, which is like my Netflix cue but completely in my head and most of the time forgotten about due to various blows to the skull as a young lad.  On to the movie.

    The film that never happened was being pushed through a twisty perilous birth canal by a man we'll call Douche Magee.  He was evidently a hair dresser who made a pact with a three eyed witch, got some cash, and made some movies you've seen.  He's also the type of person anyone with a thread of creativity really really hates.  He has a lot of money, which translates to a lot of power, which translates to many ideas being vomited from his mouth that he thinks are brilliant but have all the value of owl pellets.  He's got to be the guy behind all the remakes Hollywood is for some reason obsessed with making.  There's no other explanation unless the actual devil from actual Hell is finally calling in all those favors promised him.  I'd watch that if someone would make it.

      Kevin Smith, who wrote the first draft of the never to be Superman film, really wants to talk smack on the guy, you can tell because his hockey jersey is literally bursting with jokes.  Normally I wouldn't trust someone's opinion whose laundry day resembles that of the Detroit Red Wings, but Douche Magee kept getting less and less respectable as the documentary went on.  Maybe Kevin Smith held back cause he was worried that a phone call could be made and it would derail his career, or maybe because Mr. Magee also loves to street fight.

Literally.

Some 500 times, apparently.

    The real story was not this guy though, or even that Nicholas Cage and Tim Burton having conversations is one of those few times in my life where I questioned if English was really my first language.  The real story was that I'll never understand how anything actually gets made in Hollywood.  This documentary, possible without intending to do so, makes film making a painful looking process.  You have some cool ideas by really creative people being dumbed down until they're completely unrecognizable and beyond rational comprehension.  Then after they spend millions of dollars trying to figure out how to get a giant spider involved it the whole thing they just decide that "ya know, we're gotta put all our effort in this Will Smith sci-fi western to save us from certain financial ruin."  This type of decision making is exactly why I won't let my cats open that massage parlor they're always talking about, no matter how many times they swear to keep it "totes legit."

    The documentary is fascinating though and the folks behind it did a great job putting it all together as I was utterly enthralled by things other than Nicholas Cage's hair.  I'm a sucker for anything that gives me a behind the scenes look at jobs I probably will never have.  But what really struck me, and trust me how shocked I am to be saying this, is I really think the Superman film could have been good.  That particular character has never really interested me in the same way that Batman does because he feels so one sided.  He's a puritan as Clark Kent and he's a puritan when he's saving bus loads of children in peril.  There's never any real emotional conflict that despite all he does to help humanity, he can never truly be human.  He's not terribly bothered by being the last of his kind and we're not terribly bothered that he might snap one day and turn on us.  From watching the documentary we learn that Tim Burton wanted to add that dimension to the character and that would have really upped my interest level.

    So in closing, you should watch The Death of Superman Lives cause I liked it and my taste has proven to be rather stellar over the years.  I guess I could have just opened with that and saved myself a lot of time.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Steel Age Batman from 3A



    Hope you saved some of that money you got for Christmas, cause I'm about to spend it for you.  Allow your eyes to gaze upon the beauty that is this Steel Age Batman from 3A.  He's always been  man defined by his duel personas and the design of this figure echoes the fight within.  His medieval armor says "I'm ready to dole out some rough justice", while his Dr. Marten-esque boots say "I've got tickets to the Nine Inch Nails show."   Either way, heads are gonna get stomped.  

    You already know you want one.  Heck, you might have stopped reading this awhile back and are currently planning what you can get rid of to make room for it.  After you've finished you're going to want to know that this figure, in all of its 1/6th scale glory, will be available December 31st for $240. Be the envy of all your friends only from http://www.bambalandstore.com.


Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Roman Reigns Pop! Vinyl from Funko




    My wife and I were sitting in the crowd at Raw two weeks ago when Roman Reigns won the championship and we both got chills when it happened.  We thought the most exciting part of the night was gonna be seeing Vince McMahon in person, but when Reigns won the title it reaffirmed everything that's great about professional wrestling.  And ya, I do in fact know that it's scripted, but I think that makes it even harder when you're talking about a show that runs every week of the year.  You have to plan out the ebb and flow of the story, you have to many times do the opposite of what the viewer wants so that when you hit them with a great moment it is even more powerful.  You need a hearty dose of familiarity while still attempting to surprise.  And if you think about any other tv show they don't have to deal with major characters getting hurt out of the blue and they also get plenty of down time to rethink plot points.  I've always enjoyed it since I was a kid but learning about what it takes to actually make the WWE happen has made me fall in love with it for different reasons.

     This March you can add the champ to your Pop! Vinyl collection when Funko releases this figure.  I have a suggestion for the people in charge of making these things.  How about a set of accessories to go with the toys?  You could make all of the belts, the Money in the Bank briefcase, a steel chair, a ladder, and countless other items to enhance our displays.  Just a thought.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Christmas Candy Cane Marbled Keshi Franken Corpse from Radioactive Uppercut



   My favorite candy in the world is that Christmas hard candy that only people above the age of 85 seem to know where to get.  I look for it every year and I can never find it.  It usually comes in these big tins and half the time it's all stuck together and you have to break chunks of it off with an ice pick to even eat it.  But once you manage top free a section small enough to fit in your mouth it is beyond worth all the work.  Unless you get one of the spicy ones, then it's like your taste buds were assaulted to the point that a police report should be filed.  Those always end up in the trash where they should have been put in the first place.  

    I like candy canes too though, cause they're like non portion controlled peppermints.  They're the equivalent of half a bag of candy but it's ok to eat it because its the holidays and social norms about sugar consumption are put aside in favor of more rational thinking.  Radioactive Uppercut celebrates this yule tide tradition with his Franken Corpse keshi figure.  He's 3 inches of marbled goodness that probably would taste a whole lot worse than he looks.  Get one right now by visiting http://radioactiveuppercut.storenvy.com.  

Sket One's "Sketracha" 3 Inch Dunny from Kidrobot Available Now




    I have no idea what Sriracha tastes like because I have a fluffy little lamb for a stomach.  I've been trying to be more food adventurous, but that is way less Indiana Jones and more not skipping over as many aisles in the grocery store as I used to.  For me that's a big step, though a very cautious one, cause just one wrong move and I'm doubled over begging sweet death to take me.  I suppose that's a bit dramatic.  

    Sket-One is the king of condiment Dunnys and he has expanded his range with this gastorintestinal heathen.  Kidrobot just released this 3 inches at the end of last week and from what I understand they are tough to come by.  But I believe in you way more than I believe in my ability to digest this stuff without complication.  Oh, and there's a 2 in 5 chance you'll get a nearly-empty chase variant.  




Thursday, December 17, 2015

Kenth Toy Works Takes on Paul Kaiju's Mockbat




    Paul Kaiju really doesn't need anyone to paint his toys, cause he does an incredible job all by himself.  So when I see that someone is doing their own release of one of his crazy characters I'm very interested to see what they've done with it.

    Behold, the Mockbat as interpreted by Kenth Toy Works. It's certainly a different look than what we're used to seeing, and that's what makes it interesting.  The figure already has boatloads of personality which is well enhanced by this technicolor paint job.  Now, being that I've sold you on this and you can't live without having one in your life, I'm gonna give you the details on how to make all your dreams come true.  Just follow these instructions as provided by Kenth:

December 19th (Sat) 0:00 to December 25th (Fri) 23:00 (Japan time) • Item

Paul Kaiju "Mockbat" Kenth Custom $200 (Shipping fee is not included) • Payment Method

- PayPal 

Please enter your Name, Address, Phone No and Email to [ktw.order@gmail.com] * If the orders over the limitation then we are going to raffle and winners are announced by Email. * After we accept orders, we cannot accept any cancel requests. Please be careful, if you cancel your order, we are afraid to say that we will refuse any orders in the future.



Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Mini Plasma Seated Boo and Kuma from Kathie Olivas x Brandt Peters




    My Christmas gift giving philosophy is this: I never buy people stuff they need, only things I don't think they'd buy for themselves but would totally want.  Right now we need to get our washing machine fixed, but I'm not gonna be surprise my wife with a trip to the basement to show her the new agitator wrapped up with a bow on it.  That's dumb, and a sure fire way to being forced to sleep underneath the porch with the family of chipmunks that reside there.  Though it has been unseasonably warm as of late, and the idea of chipmunks sleeping next to me is reeeeeeaaaaallllly cute, I'd probably die.  

     For the toy/art lover in your life things couldn't be any easier when it comes to gift giving.  They practically smack you over the head with everything they love.   How about this nice set of figures from Kathie Olivas and Brandt Peters?  These resin guys are cast in a dark, see through resin and feature hand painted faces.  You can buy them individually for $65 each or as a set for $120 (which saves you some money for those of you playing along at home).  Only 50 of each were produced and they're available right now from www.circusposterus.com.  


Saturday, December 12, 2015

TKOM's Hibiscus Pink Doublethink Lottery from Toy Art Gallery



    Call me crazy (what are you, my therapist?) but I equate the price of a toy to how big it is.  My brain refuses to take into account how rare it may be, whether or not the Pope blessed it, or anything else that could drive the cost up.  I am unable to justify buying something for a ton of money that could fit inside one of those plastic eggs in a 25 cent machine.   I refuse to partake in trinkets that the average child could shove into their nose unless they're priced accordingly.  

   Standing at 10 and 1/2 inches tall this Doublethink figure from TKOM is a lot of toy for your money.  And it even has two heads, so it's kinda like getting two different toys that have been melted together by science.  That's called value.  Toy Art Gallery is running a lottery right now for this unpainted dude cast in hibiscus pink vinyl.  But guess what? The lottery ends Monday, at noon pacific time, so follow these instructions on how to win the opportunity to buy one:

Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Doublethink Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time (Monday 12PM PST). Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!    

Friday, December 11, 2015

10 Inch Stache Labbits from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot Available Now




    The best performance in the history of film by a mustache would have to have been the stellar acting job featured in Smokey and the Bandit.  Not that Burt Reynold's furry little buddy is mentioned in the cast list on IMDB, or was rewarded for his hard work during award season, but the entire plot of the film could not have advanced to such stellar heights without his subtle, yet strong presence.  At the end of filming Mr. Reynolds should have shaved him off and had him bronzed like a pair of baby's first shoes.  The he could have been enshrined at some worthy museum, most likely a branch of the Smithsonian, where his fans could gather to pay respect to Hollywood's most important facial hair.  God bless you Burt Reynolds for continuing to inspire my follicles to reach for greatness. 

    Look at these Labbits,  with mustaches so glorious they could run for public office.  It's impossible not to trust a face accented in such a beautiful way in what can only be described as art.  They would embarrass a lesser man, bringing shame to the wispy little baby hairs that plague the upper lips of some folks from adolescence through death.  The fact that they are not left in the woods to fend for themselves is a testament to their family's compassion.

    Frank Kozik has finally made some more giant sized big ol Labbits for me to line my entertainment center with.  You can choose from back or white, but I say in the spirit of plastic bunny racial harmony you get em both and set a good example for the rest of the world.  They are available right now at www.kidrobot.com for $49.99 each.   



Thursday, December 10, 2015

The Holiday Hunt is on with Argonaut Resins





   "Damn, we have a lot of cats."

    How many times can you have an epiphany before people start worrying that you have early onset dementia?  There I was, trying to help my wife appreciate the beauty of mid eighties professional wrestling promos while watching the WWE Network, and it struck me.  Everywhere I turn, a kitty sits, and once you have a certain number people are always trying to sneak more in.  Just this past week my wife was approached twice about taking in new cats.  Don't get me wrong, I love the little buggers, but I'm worried that the next one is what's gonna push it over the line to where all of my clothes smell like stale pee.  As far as I know my only scent is a mixture of Irish Spring and Old Spice and I'm trying to keep it that way.

    For the time being the only cats I'm looking to adopt are made of plastic and don't just decide one day that they've always wanted to see what was up with the front porch and give me a heart attack trying to catch the.  Argonaut Resins in smack dab in the midst of his Holiday Hunt, in which Tuttz OG kitties are randomly popping up in his web shop.  They stand 6 and 1/2 inches tall and there's 25 of them in the series, so keep your peepers on http://argonautresins.bigcartel.com.
   

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

"Play" New Works by Erika Sanada and Calvin Ma at myplasticheart




    If I had a ton of money lying around I would totally start my own toy company and the first person I would contact about making a figure would be Erika Sanada.  Mind you I would have already purchased a herd of alpacas, a Harley, and an El Camino for my wife, but producing toys would happen soon after.  How Erika has not been approached about making the jump from ceramic to plastic baffles me, because her work would translate perfectly.  Who wouldn't want a little puppy with blank eyes and devil horns on their shelf?  I'll take one of those any day of the week.  Somebody give me some money and let's convince her how awesome of an idea it is.  

    You can see Erika's work in person beginning this Saturday at myplasticheart in New York.  She will have new work on display along with Calvin Ma, who has an interesting take on some very familiar characters.  If you still haven't gotten me anything for Christmas this would be a great way to remedy that.  




Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Looney Tunes Capsule Collection from Kidrobot Dropping This Week




     I love it when people claim how much more violent tv is now than whenever "back in the day" happened to be.  Yeah, things are much more explicit now and really don't require the use of the viewer's imagination, but the undertones have always been there.  Let's look at The Looney Tunes for example.  Elmer Fudd was always trying to eat Bugs Bunny, Wyle E. Coyote was using every bit of hillbilly ingenuity he could muster to feast on Roadrunner, and Sylvester was not about to let a minute go by without tormenting poor Tweety Bird with his desires to chomp his bones.  The entirety of the show was about murder!  Oh and then you have Pepe Le Pew who could use a restraining order, the Tazmanian Devil who seemed to struggle with substance abuse, and Yosemite Sam who was a Republican.  No wonder I liked this show so much as a kid.

    Kidrobot is giving everyone's favorite characters a modern makeover via their capsule collection.  There's blind boxed key chains and mini figures, and a big ol Tweety designed my Mark Dean Veca which makes me kinda want to bbq the little cutie myself.  Not that I would, cause he's all skull and would be hardly worth firing up the grill.  How damaged am I that I would even think this way?

   These will all be available some time this week from www.kidrobot.com.  








Friday, December 4, 2015

Weedian "Leaf" Edition from Sleep x Arik Roper x Unbox Industries



    There's some music out there that demands to be played in a room filled with black light posters and pot smoke.  It was most likely conceived that way and will only make sense to someone who considers that a staple of their lifestyle.  Sleep's "Dopesmoker" album's title track is over an hour long  journey into the recesses of space and time and is the sort of thing you would listen to when you are contemplating the existential crisis you are currently faced with in your line of work.  Or when you just want to get stoned out of your mind and pretend you're a space wizard.  Same difference.

    What I picture when I hear it is a soundtrack to these Tusken Raider-like dudes trekking through the desert, searching for some far off destination they will never quite reach.  Are they putting their anger fueled past behind them, journeying through a metaphysical wasteland on their way to a higher (pun intended) existence or are they just trying to get away from crazy old dudes wielding laser swords?  

    Arik Roper created the art behind this stoner rock classic and Unbox Industries has brought it to life in 3D form.  This guy will be available for sale starting tonight from http://store.unboxindustries.info for $85 each.  




Thursday, December 3, 2015

New WWE Pop Vinyl! From Funko





   "Let me tell you something, Tony Schiavone, people have themselves a lot of opinions about a lot of things.  Some people think Nickleback makes listenable music.  Some people think Nicholas Cage would have made an awesome Superman.  Some people, Tony Shiavone, actually acknowledge the Star Wars prequels as having happened.  I know, it's disturbing to contemplate.  But even the most misguided person can't look at themselves in the mirror and pretend they're not jealous of John Cena's   jorts.  Admit it, you wish you could rock a pair of denim shorts with half the conviction he does.  It would make summer clothes shopping so much easier if they were a possibility, cause I've got meaty thighs and they just don't have a section in JCPenny that caters to my man legs."

    I just dropped the sickest promo on you right then.  Any minute now Vince McMahon is gonna call me and shower me with cash.  So before that happens I should probably tell you about these new WWE Pop Vinyl! figures from Funko.  You will soon be able to own Paige, The Ultimate Warrior, and the aforementioned John Cena.




Mini Mockbats from Paul Kaiju x Unbox Industries Releasing Today!!!




    Paul Kaijus's Mini Mockbats are releasing tonight via Unbox Industries which is good cause I've been mad jealous at all the pictures I've seen of them from Designer Con.  They're so dang cute and look like they would sit perfectly in the pocket of my work shirts.  Then when someone is being unreasonable I could pat him on the head and say "shhhhhhh little buddy, we're going to try and handle this one without the hatchet."  Customer service issues would be solved in a matter of seconds.  See, people have the belief that no one that they're dealing with will just snap on them, thus making them act much more unreasonable in these type of situations.  But if you put it out there that their attitude is revealing a dark twisted side of you that may or may not take advice from a toy in your pocket, people might think twice about demanding to return something they bought four years ago but swear they never used and want to speak with a manager right away because obviously you can't give them the satisfaction they demand and are just continuing to waste their time which is by far more precious than the time they are wasting of yours as they continue to spew nonsense.  It's never happened to me, but I've heard stories.

   These little bros will be on sale today/tonight sometime over at http://store.unboxindustries.info.  Each figure is $40 and sold randomly, so you can't pick your color.  They all look good to me so I'd be happy with any of them.  

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

You Know You've Been a Heathen, So Get Yourself a Krampus from Goodleg Toys




    I know you've been bad all year and it's not just cause I've got one of those drones with video recording capabilities that just happens to be wherever you are while still respecting the average retraining order distance just in case.  Actually, that would totally explain how I know, but I also know because you read this website.  You could be looking at pictures of baby animals, or learning how to fix your broken washing machine, but here you are, reading about goat men and laughing at the thought of them beating snotty little children.  It's why I love you.

    Goodleg Toys is offering up 3 different versions of everyone's favorite holiday devil this Saturday, December 5th at 6pm GMT over at http://goodlegtoys.storenvy.com.  Pick the one that's right for you and decorate a little differently this Christmas.  Now if they'd only make a giant inflatable version I could put on my lawn.

    

Monday, November 30, 2015

Candie Bolton x Toy Art Gallery Have Something Massive Planned for 2016



    I don't usually write about toys that are in production unless they have a release date and pricing info.  I'm one of those people that if I fall in love with an object I don't want to know that it's coming one day because I want it right then.  But I've seen pictures of this thing pop up online a few times and it is so different from anything out there I had to heap a bunch of praise on it while still in its clay form.  

    Candie Bolton and Toy Art Gallery are going to release this beauty known as Bake-Kujira.  Scheduled to release in early 2016, this 11 inch tall figure is the representation of a phantom that comes into existence whenever a human kills a whale.  If Captain Ahab had thought this would be the result of his triumph, Moby Dick would have been a mere pamphlet about how everyone took up bass fishing.  

    Until it is officially available for purchase you will have these few images to stare at and wonder just how amazing it's going to look all painted up.  In my mind it is glorious and I've already ordered it.  



The Dream Big Friends Kickstarter from Bigshot Toyworks is Live!



    There's nothing that pulls on your heartstrings quite like little dreams.  I just finished reading a book and all one of the characters wanted to do was grow up and work in an office.  Oh, you mean like the first office on the ocean floor or something right?  Nope, just an old boring office with a fax machine that makes a hideous noise and a copier that eats toner like a Christmas ham.  Mind you the girl was a clone who was only around so her organs could be harvested to keep regular folks alive, but still, have you heard of a dream that was smaller than that?  It depressed me.

    Yuna has much bigger dreams, specifically that she wants to own a commercial rocket company and to visit Mars.  And she loves cats, which makes her pretty awesome in my book.  She is the brainchild of Bigshot Toyworks and the folks behind Uglydolls, Sun Min Kim and David Horvath and is intended to fuel a child's imagination through focusing on the world around them.  And yeah, it's a little different than the stuff I normally write about, but I have two nieces and I'd rather them grow up and feel that anything was possible rather than be consumed by whether their make up looks good or if their clothes are on trend.  

   Yuna needs your help though if she is to inspire girls around the world.  Right now there is a Kickstarter campaign to help fund the production costs needed to make her a reality.  For only $40 you can get one of these 10 inch dolls featuring real clothes and her little cat buddy, Kamata.  There are other reward levels as well that include button packs and graphics for your wall and every little bit goes towards making this happen.  They have a lot of money left to raise so visit this link, pledge what you can, and give girls out there a positive roll model to look up to and dream with.  




Thursday, November 26, 2015

Entertainment Earth's Huge Black Friday Sale


Entertainment Earth
All deal lovers should click the picture for massive savings.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Behold the Bath Toy of Madness: Dthulhu




   I was totally in the shower today, thinking that our bathroom decor needed an update.  We were going with a woodland theme because of how the bathroom was when we moved in, but things just haven't come together the way I had hoped.  Our fake taxidermied deer head/toothbrush holder keeps falling from its suction cup on the mirror, and our pine cone soap dispenser took a flying leap from the counter after being helped by an anonymous cat paw.  And do you even realize how hard it is to find plastic squirrels that you can mount to the wall so it looks like they're in mid chase?  The fates are working against us on this one.

    Maybe we should take things in a whole new direction and build our design around this mighty Dthulhu!!!!  This rubber ducky has been consumed by the spirits of the Old Ones and is hell bent on wiping out mankind....one bubble bath at a time.  Now you're not gonna find anything like this in stores, as he will only exist if you support the Indiegogo campaign to bring him to a state of vinyl being.  Check out this link, get some killer rewards, and prepare your tub for the madness that will ensue!  Oh and there's only a few days left to make it happen, so stop your deciding and start your buying.
 
    

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

My Designer Con Review as a Non-Attendee




    I didn't go to Designer Con and I've actually never been to Designer Con, but that doesn't mean I am any less qualified to talk about it than someone who was there.  This is America, and I'm gonna excercise the crap out of my freedom, and let me tell you, I'm feeling pretty damn free right now.  It may have something to do with the fact that I spent my Sunday at a gun show, which is about as much freedom as you can pack into the National Guard Armory in Philadelphia.  I mean it's an entire event that celebrates one of the most controversial amendments in the Bill of Rights.  It couldn't have been any more American if there was a bald eagle grilling hot dogs at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert.  I had never been to a gun show before, and it was by far an interesting experience, as I doubt anyone at Designer Con was asked if they were carrying a concealed weapon as they entered.  I wasn't, but I wished I had planned ahead and brought a machete or something, just so I could have said "oh, you mean my little friend Tito Santana?" as I pulled said machete from my jacket.  That probably would have given the ticket people something fun to talk about at dinner.

    I felt like I was in California right with you though, as I scrolled through the many pictures on Instagram, jealous of all the amazing toys I was seeing.  My favorite photos are always the ones that people take showing off what they bought.  Not just cause I like to pick out the things I also would have tried to own, but because I'm always impressed by the shear amount of money spent.  We're talking legit mortgage payments worth of toys. With that in mind I really want to start commenting on their photos, asking where they work and if they're hiring, because I am obviously doing something wrong career-wise.  I need to up my disposable income game, so any tips would be greatly appreciated.

    When there were actually people in the photos I saw they all looked happy, so I'm going to go ahead and say they were having a good time.  When I was daydreaming about being there (on Saturday mind you, cause you don't daydream when you're surrounded by live ammunition as I was Sunday) I pictured myself equally as happy, so I declare the convention a good time which is probably enhanced by actually attending.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Medieval Spawn Resin Statue from McFarlane Toys




    A few years ago Sharon and I decided we were gonna go to the Renaissance Fair in Lancaster.  We're all into Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings, so we thought it could either be really cool or we would be horrified and have funny stories to tell afterwards.  So there we are, speeding down the Pennsylvania Turnpike, when we see a sign with a giant cow on it advertising German food and an antique market.  We glanced over at each other, mouths agape, and to this day have never made it to the Renaissance Fair.  We keep trying but find ourselves unable to pass that exit.  It is probably as far west as we will ever get in that state, because not only do we stuff ourselves with the most delicious beef you have ever tasted, but the antique shopping is prime.  

   Now if I was guaranteed that I would see stuff like this roaming around, I might be willing to ease up on the brakes on keep driving.  I bet the ending of Braveheart would had been a lot different if Spawn had been the lead character instead of that wussy Mel Gibson.  And it would have been a lot shorter, because they would have taken one look at this dude, turned right around, and fixed everything he was upset about.  The whole mess could have been resolved in the span of a commercial break.  

    This resin statue from McFarlane Toys stands a whopping 17 inches tall, comes with two different heads, and is sure to make your cats think twice about holding Wrestlemania in your living room at 3 in the morning.  Preorder one of these highly detailed beauties now from this link.   
    


Friday, November 20, 2015

Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones in 1/6th Scale from threezero




     Jamie Lannister arguably has the rawest deal on Game of Thrones.  Think about it, dude is not only in love with his evil sister but is the father of her children, two of which are dead.  And he got his sword hand cut off, leaving him but a shadow of his former swashbuckling self.  At least everyone else on the show gets to die and, hopefully, move on to a more peaceful afterlife.  It really seems that's the best you can hope for if you're born in Westeros.  Or Arkansas.

    threezero continues their amazingly detailed line of 1/6th scale figures with the Kingslayer himself.  As you would expect he comes with a boat load of accessories that will make your other toys jealous that they have way less stuff to play with.  You can preorder this figure for $190 (which includes worldwide shipping) beginning Monday, November 23rd at 9am Hong Kong time.



Thursday, November 19, 2015

The Soon-To-Be Classic Tale of the Christmas Parasite



   Christmas is a day that people spend all year looking forward to.  They are eager to spend time with family, give and receive presents, and stuff themselves full of delicious food.  This year, the presents aspect has me a little nervous every after my wife shared with me her recommended items from Etsy.

   Sharon and I both get a kick out of surprising the other with our gift buying abilities.  She is by far better at it than anyone I know, and she seems impressed by my Rain Man like ability to remember the most random things that she mentions she likes.  The website Etsy has in the past few years become a hub for us when we're in the market for vintage items and it seems this year she has used it almost exclusively.  Based on the items she purchased the website has used some algarithm to determine a host of other objects she might be interested in.  This is where things have gone completely off the rails.  I present to you dear reader, the number one item recommended based on her purchasing habits:


Having "bath salts" as part of their shop name is just a tad sketchy and probably cause for investigation by the proper authorities.


    Now, let's start with the part that is humorous for me and that being that Sharon is terrified of leeches.  She finds them to be a horrific amalgam of two of God's most heinous creatures (that don't have the surname Kardashian): the tick and the slug.  The fact that I'm still married after finding one in a river and showing it to her is more a testament to her realizing she could always use it against me than her ability to forgive.  And I probably shouldn't have laughed when she showed me it was her top pick from Etsy, because that brought up the second part of all of this, which is a bit more worrisome for me.

    What in the hell did she get me for Christmas?  I can't even fathom what items you would have to buy in order for a website to recommend a leech in a jar as the obvious next play in your gift giving.  I can't imagine a nice pair of socks or an artisinal toothpick set would lead to such madness, so the possibilities are both endless and troubling.  Though holiday pictures will probably be the most interesting ones to date, which would be a perfect time to shamelessly plug my Instagram where everything will unfold in almost real time.  But don't think the leech was the only recommended item, cause that would be horrible for business.  So gaze upon the rest of the stuff that obviously my wife would want to own because they would look really good next to the bag of tapeworms or whatever it is that is currently hidden from my prying eyes somewhere in this house.



   






Wednesday, November 18, 2015

For the First Time Ever at Designer Con: Splurrt


    Splurrt is making his first trek out to Designer Con this year and he's bringing a veritable pile of toys that will stare at you as you sleep and teleport nightmares into your brain (or so I heard).  He's sharing  booth #553 with Paul Kaiju and his freaky creations will only be available on Saturday via lottery system.  So you're gonna need to grab yourself a ticket between 9am and noon, then return at 3pm when the selling madness begins.  If anything is left after the craziness dies down it will be sold on a first come first served basis.  In total he will have over 160 figures for sale, including the ones you see here.  I'm guessing he won't be bringing much back home with him.