Friday, October 24, 2014

Behold the Lavender Pollen Kaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    Did anyone start their Christmas shopping yet?  I'm sort of on the ball this year and have already begun chipping away at it.  I'm never the type to wait until the last minute, but each year I seem to get dangerously close to panic mode.  Sometimes I even have dreams where it's Christmas morning and I haven't bought anyone anything and I do my best to fake a reason to be rushed to the emergency room just to buy me some time to figure out what to do.  They at least have a gift shop in the hospital, so I might be able to pass off a "get well" teddy bear or a bunch of phone cards as legit gifts.  It's kinda horrifying.

    You can begin your shopping for me today when Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery release their latest edition of the mighty Pollen Kaiser.  See how easy I make this for you.  So park yourself near a computer at noon Pacific time, have it pointed at and let the raining of presents upon me commence.  Of you can buy it for someone else I guess and I'll just resent you.  Kidding, I'm kidding, I will always love you.  But there's always room to move up on the love list, now isn't there?  


Halloween Pickle Baby from Leecifer Drops Today!

    I wonder if anyone has ever put one of Leecifer's Pickle Babies in a jar, filled it with some cloudy water, and called it a PICKLED Baby.  It would be the easiest custom in the world and if it hasn't been done yet I urge someone out there to do it.  And make an aged label identifying it to paste on the front too.  I don't want you to take my idea and just phone it in, cause that's just disrespectful.  Make it museum quality.  The challenge is out there.  

    Look at how festive these dudes are!  I bet they've already been to Starbucks twice and gotten something pumpkin flavored.  I think marbled toys are some of my favorites out there right now, and I'm loving how this orange and black has swirled together to make each one of these unique.  If you want one to spice up your Halloween decor (or Thanksgiving, this guy would look perfect next to a turkey-shaped butter sculpture) then pick one up from today.  

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Ron English Needs You To Help Him Make His Next Toy

    You know what I always say "you can never have too many skulls."  Seriously, go ahead and get yourself a nice skull and tell me you don't instantly want another.  It's like eating one potato chip, you can't do it.  Of course I'm only talking about the plastic versions, not the ones that developed inside your face meat.  I have a lot of weird stuff in the house, but I don't think I could ever own an actual human skull.  I love to go to look at them in museums, but I'm worried about bringing bad juju into my life if I had one just chillin on our dvd player.  I'm not even sure how to go about acquiring one.  Duh, I could go on the internet, but how would I know which one was right for me?  Do they come with biographical information about the person?  Do they tell you how they came to own it in the first place?  Will some family member want joint custody and insist on taking it out for ice cream every other weekend?  I'm just not ready for that sort of responsibility.

   I'm gonna stick with faux human skulls I think, like this one from Ron English.  Like many people, this skull has fame and fortune in it's eyes, so much so that it warped the actual bone structure.  This isn't some crappy prop you can buy at the Halloween store, this is a beautiful work of vinyl art that will impress your guests and brighten your decor.  But you can't have one of these beauties if you don't back the Kickstarter campaign that's happening now.  You can get everything from a pack of stickers, to one of these skulls in the colors you see above, to having lunch with the man himself.  Something tells me he won't be taking you to McDonald's.  So follow this link, and help him make this skull a reality.  

Woot Bear Grand Opening this Saturday!!!

    You know what I'm gonna be doing this Saturday?  Working.  Twice actually.  Gotta go to the day job, then gonna go make some extra scratch lugging around concert equipment at a casino.  Begin crying your tears of sorrow for me any time now.  

    Just kidding cause I like working.  Gives me a sense of pride that I can go out and support my family.  But I also like toys, and hobnobbing with artists and collectors, which makes me sad that I'm gonna totally miss the opening of Frank Kozik's Woot Bear gallery and toy store.  Also, it's kind of a far drive from New Jersey to California, so that plays a small part into why I can't go.  But the good news for you is that I'm one less person you'll have to compete with for all the stuff you want.  Like those massive Heathrows you see there, or any of the three other special releases that will be happening this Saturday as part of their Grand Opening.  Don't worry, I'll only be slightly jealous.  

    Get any other info you need over at

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Two New Wananeko Cats from Javier Jimenez

    I remember the day that I almost had a heart attack after I realized we had five cats.  Okay, I'm not stupid, I distinctly remember having five, but they were never in the same room together so the impact of it wasn't that great.  Then they all started getting along (for the most part) and sitting in the living room together at night.  Sharon and I were eating dinner and watching tv (two sports we excel in) when I looked around and noticed they were all there just hanging out.  I dropped my fork, turned to her and said "My God we have five cats."  It was more an emotional revelation rather than a mathematical one. I was now having the reaction that most of my coworkers first had whenever we talked about our little house critters.  But when you think about it, each of us only has two and a half cats, so neither one of us can really be called crazy cat people right?  The half cat thing is kinda crazy, and you shouldn't have half of a cat in real life, only in theory when you're trying to explain how rational it is for your house to resemble the ASPCA, but the rest is pretty sound logic.  Cause you can't just have one cause they'll be lonely, and once you're up to three they start forming alliances, so you have to balance out the power struggle by adding a few more, but you can't have an even number because then when they need to vote on a particular cat issue you don't want to risk a deadlock, so you have to have a tie breaker.  I'm just gonna stop now.

    I have officially reached capacity ("catpacity"  Ok, this word really needs to be part of everyday speech.  For example "Don't tell Tina about your kittens, she has totally reached catpacity in her apartment."  Make it so!) as far as real cats go, but I still have plenty of room for plastic ones.  Like these Wananeko figures from Javier Jimenez.  There are two different versions you can get your grubby little paws on.  The first is a special Halloween edition that will be available this Sunday, October 26th at 11am Eastern time.  

    The second is a preorder for a Calico version that's available right this instant!  They are limited though, so if you want one you gotta make it happen soon.  Get em both over at

Taylored Curiosities Presents the Worry Beans

     My digestive system is as battle ravaged as the Middle East.  A big part of it is genetics, but there's got to be a mental factor too cause I worry about everything all the time.  I worry about life, death, money, my wife, my cats, my toys, my job, my car, tv, basically anything you can think of.  I worry whether we'll get tickets to Comic Con next year, whether we'll ever be able to do a lot of traveling, whether all of our kittens are living productive and happy lives.  I'm worrying thinking about all the worrying I do. I think I'm gonna be sick.

    Trying not to wreck my nerves is a full time job in itself, one in which the pay sucks and I wish I could quite and take up oil painting or something.  Taylored Curiosities wants us all to let go a little and let the Worry Beans guide us onto the ever elusive path of serenity.   A path that allows you to keep more of your hair and not be concerned where the restroom is at all times.  Right now in her shop you can get a set of these little dudes in varying colors that are ready to bring peace to that over active mind of yours.  Stop worrying about that growth on your arm and visit

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Hook The Enforcer Figure from Troma x Goodleg Toys

    World War II would have been a lot less eventful is the Nazis had actually taken up surfing.  They had a lot of hobbies, but none of them really on the "healthy" side.  Have you ever met an angry surfer?  I haven't.  They're all just too busy "shredding the gnar", or whatever it is that they get so excited about.  Honestly, I can't understand a thing they're saying, but my point is they keep themselves busy enough with their silly sayings and their skin cancer that they don't have time to think about trying to take over the world.  Which is why I am proposing a new division of the United States military that will focus on introducing new things for angry groups of folks to occupy themselves with.  I'm calling it the Arts and Crafts Brigade, but that's just a working title, and they will be in charge of setting up hobbies for militant groups that are giving us issues.  We're gonna start in the Middle East, where thousands of Bedazzlers and bags of sequins will be air dropped on enemy bases.  Once our foes start embellishing everything they own in semi-precious stones, they'll be too busy being fabulous to even worry about all that murder and mayhem nonsense.  Maybe we can teach North Korea the benefits and excitement that await them in the world of inline skating.  The possibilities are endless.  You can go ahead and mail me my Nobel Peace Prize.  

    Ok, so surfing really didn't do the trick in keeping calm the hooligans in Troma's Surf Nazis Must Die.  Or did it?  I'm not going to tell you and spoil the film. I'm not that kind of jerk.  I'm the kind of jerk that will tell you about the sweet action figures from Goodleg Toys featuring characters from this classic that I'm sure by now is archived in the Library of Congress.  Hook the Enforcer comes in two versions, the regular which you see above, and the Shark Edition, which you can see here:

    There are 30 of the regular and just 5 of the chase version, so get your hind parts over to and get one before they're gone.