Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Scott Wilkowski Offering Customized Resin Infected Kittens

    If the title or anything like it was ever posted on Craigslist you can consider yourself warned about how much of a bad idea it would be to email that dude.  I myself have obtained things off of that sketchy website ranging from taxidermied birds to vintage cookware, but each time I did it I went into the transaction with the knowledge that I may become a Dateline NBC special.  Some people skydive, I buy preserved bird specimens from a person whose house can't been seen from the road.  I like to live dangerously.

   Scott Wilkowski is not peddling diseased felines that escaped the CDC, but is actually offering up a resin masterpiece that you can customize the colors of.  That's right, you can redeem any other bad decisions you may have recently made by helping Scott create perfection.  When placing your order at http://www.scottwilkowski.com all you have to do is pick your outer color AND the color of the inner skeleton.  Personally I would choose orange on the outside and black on the inside, which are the colors of Halloween, the Philadelphia Flyers, and the idiot running our country into oblivion.  I'm only ok with the first two.

   Standing five inches tall, hand cast in resin, and partially designed by you, each one will be $300.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Darth Knuckleduster from Killer Bootlegs

     I used to collect Star Wars stuff exclusively before I got into vinyl toys, but there was way to much stuff being produced to keep that going.  So I focused instead on collecting the greatest villain of all time, Darth Vader.  That was until for every one figure I bought they'd release three more versions of it in different packaging.  Buying toys shouldn't be like trying to kill the Hydra, so I've mostly thrown the towel in on that too, save for the odd piece every once in a while.  I had never thought about Darth Vader tribute toys before though, so now I feel myself (and my credit cards) getting sucked back in.

    Killer Bootlegs has made a big old vinyl version of his Draco Knuckleduster figure and painted him up to look like everyone's favorite asthmatic evil doer.  And this thing is more limited than the amount of good plot points in The Last Jedi.  Dropping tonight at 6pm cst exclusively through http://killerbootlegs.storenvy.com, you can add him to your growing Imperial forces for $100 (which includes shipping).  

I'm Still a Toys R Us Kid

    The news of Toys R Us closing down really hit me yesterday, as Sharon and I took a last walk through our local store before the liquidation signs erupt like small pox down every aisle.   My earliest memories of the store involve the location in Newport News, Virginia.  I remember walking in and there would be this huge wall and multiple rows of shopping carts that greeted you as you entered.  Once you turned the corner it was like looking out over the ocean and trying to fathom seeing its end.  Shelves were packed full to bursting with Star Wars and G.I. Joe and He-Man figures that would be the featured cast in epic narratives.  Those same pristine toys would end up caked in mud, water logged in the bath tub, and faded by their time spent outdoors, but for that moment in the store they were more than just mass produced bits of plastic: they were gateways to my imagination.  

   I remember when the original Nintendo system came out and my brother and I got one that Christmas.  We'd fight over who got to play and for how long and then when it was time to get a new game we'd fight about that until some sort of compromise was reached.  Then on the fateful day we'd head to Toys R Us and their aisle that was just pictures of box art and little paper slips beneath it that indicated how many were left in stock. We'd hope and pray the entire car trip that there would be at least one slip left for the game we wanted, because leaving empty handed was not an option.  Sometimes you got lucky, sometimes we ended up with a second choice, and sometimes we left with nothing but a promise we'd try again the next week.  No matter how much older I get, I've still never developed a good sense of patience, but I am way less likely to throw a tantrum. 

    I'll certainly miss it and I'll always be thankful for how much of a role it had in shaping my life.  


Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Back for Seconds Custom Toy Show from Zard Apuya at PIQ

    Looking at these custom figures from Zard Apuya is making me ridiculously hungry.  I've been stuck inside all day from a snow storm and have just about eaten through all of our emergency rations.  Even the stale food that I somehow keep forgetting to throw out is starting to look appetizing as my boredom level reaches unprecedented heights.  And you know what's really cruel?  Most of what I would normally watch on tv is either in reruns or have been ditched in favor of continuous weather coverage in which they send reporters to different areas to confirm that yes, it is indeed snowing.  You know how interesting that is after about 20 minutes when all you want to do is go to the store and buy junk food?

   This Saturday you should really have a little something to eat before you see Zard's "Back for Seconds" custom show at PIQ in New York.  In case you have yet to scroll further or have not yet picked up on the prevailing theme of this post, everything is food related.  Just look at some of them and tell me that they don't make you feel like you haven't eaten in three days.  Those candy bar dudes especially look like the real thing, so if you're going make sure to exhibit self control and try not to bite one.  

    The show is opening at their Grand Central Terminal location right in Manhattan, and Zard himself will be hanging out from 2-4pm.  If you can't make it, the 60 (yeah I said 60) customs will be available online that day at www.piqgifts.com.  

Candy Corn Kuma from Circus Posterus X Mana Studios

    As I type this there is a huge snow storm happening outside as part of our second Nor'easter in as many weeks.  I don't mind it that much, but when it started today it was also thundering and lightning, which is really weird to me.  Everything is covered in a blanket of white, then a bolt of lightning flashes above it with an almost blinding brilliance, soon followed by an earthquaking thunder clap.  Throw in a tornado and we'd really have a winter horror story worthy of a SyFy Network feature.  Oh, and sharks.  Gotta have sharks.

    If we can have spring and winter weather in the same week then I think it is perfectly acceptable to start mixing up our holidays as well.  So this year we're switching out St. Patrick's Day for Halloween.  Circus Posterus inspired my shake up of this year's calendar the moment I saw this  Candy Corn Kuma.  Cast in resin by the folks at Mana Studios and then hand painted, this will have you trading in your green shamrock apparel for orange and black without a second thought.  Standing 9 inches tall and limited to only 30 pieces, he can be yours right now for $200 by visiting www.circusposterus.com.

Monday, March 5, 2018

Acorn Worry Beans from Taylored Curiosities

    I've got stress.  I know we all do, but there hasn't been a week that's gone by in the past month that I haven't had a cat at the vet.  We got upset stomachs, bladder issues, and allergies that are plaguing my kitties and my credit card statements.  How the hell do people with kids do it?  My brother in law's three kids had the stomach flu and each spent the day clutching a trash can on the couch while watching tv.  I mean, when you compare it to spraying bloody urine all over the basement door the kid thing doesn't seem that bad, so I've changed my mind and determined that people with children have it easier.  Unless your kid is peeing blood all over the house, then you really do have your hands full until the state steps in and incarcerates the little weirdo.

   I am unable to see the relief to my stress as it peaks it's beautiful face over the horizon, but that doesn't mean it's not on its way.  If you have worried yourself to the point of perpetual nausea, Taylored Curiosities has the perfect solution with this Acorn Worry Bean.  Made with polymer clay and real acorns, this little dude is ready to take all of your troubles on himself, like Atlas with a big ball of stress upon his shoulders.  

    Handmade and available now, you can own one now by visiting http://tayloredcuriosities.com.

Friday, March 2, 2018

Fatt Choy Bao from Scott Tolleson X Pobber Toys

    I will chase a brown bear into the woods just because I've never seen one in the wild, but I'll be damned if I put anything other than a plain hamburger in my mouth during dinner.  That last part's a little extreme, but I'm anything other than brave when it comes to food.  My wife spent a lot of her younger years in Taiwan and I remember the first time she took me to the Asian supermarket while looking for her favorite items.  As a southern kid with a cardboard palette I was so far out of my element it was probably embarrassing.  Since then I've tried to broaden my horizons if for no more reason than for her to not feel forced to feed me chicken nuggets every day.  You're a real gangsta if your wife buys you the dinosaur shaped ones, fyi.

    I couldn't eat anything that had a face like this.  He's so cute and sweet looking and you know you can't eat just one so chomping down on him will be both traumatic and non filling, which is a really bad combination.   This little dude from Scott Tolleson and Pobber Toys is decked out to celebrate Chinese New Year and is available now to help you commemorate the year of the dog.  Pick one up for yourself before the party's over at www.pobber.com.