Friday, October 31, 2014

Krampus on a Shelf from Forces of Dorkness x Tenacious Toys

    If you want your kids to behave themselves in the time leading up to Christmas, why would you put some little sissy on your mantle that's gonna supposedly go off and rat em out for the bad stuff they do? Kids know that snitches get stitches and they're not gonna take some dainty little elf seriously.  What you need is some crazy looking demon guy that will stuff them into a bag and beat the tar out of them with a stick.  Now that's something that will make even the littlest psychopath think twice before giving into those bad voices in his head.

    Krampus is the greatest thing to happen to Christmas since presents, and it warms my heart to see people in America start to embrace Santa's enforcer.  Now if only we could start working him into our holiday traditions.  Kids need a healthy dose of fear.  They need a freaky goat man to smack them around as they stare mindlessly into their cell phones instead of taking out the trash.

    Ok, this has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but I couldn't stop laughing at this video when I saw it.  It is Christmas themed though:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm dying, I'm dying.

     Krampus on the Shelf was created by Forces of Dorkness to watch over your little nut jobs as they go about their heathen ways.  They are going up for preorder this Sunday, November 2nd, at 7pm as part of Super Series Sunday from Tenacious Toys.  You'll have two weeks to place your order for one of these dudes, who stand 8 inches tall and retail for only $50.  It's cheaper than putting those little monsters in obedience school (do they have that for kids?).  Get yours at

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Brutherford Industries Has A Pile of Releases for Halloween

    It's been a while since we heard from Brutherford Industries.  What's he been up to?  Was he abducted by aliens, or raising alpacas for their wool?  Did he open a Chik-Fil-A, or maybe he just took a long nap. Who knows, cause tomorrow (which happens to be Halloween) he's got a veritable horde of releases.  Let's get started cause it's almost my lunch time.  

    Look at that sweet can of paint, caught right in the moment before the cops come and arrest you for vandalism.  Don't worry, you'll probably just pay a fine.  But how cool is this?  The answer is "very cool" especially cause it's limited to only 25 pieces and it can be displayed like you see it or you can hang it on the wall and make it look like a ghost is helping you redecorate.  $125 and it's yours.  

    Oh snap son, you know you need these.  I see you out there, trying to live your life like you're in a rap video.  You can't do that when your Ikea entertainment center is filled with nothing but video game manuals though.  You gotta add some shine to it.  One of these Ice Scream men would do the trick.  And you have two different sizes to choose from, but logic dictates you should get them both for maximum wow factor.  The big one is limited to 25 pieces and the small has 50 little brothers and sisters running around.  They are $85 and $15 respectively.  

    Our maybe you're more like me and your house is closer to a Marilyn Manson video than it is Jay-Z. Then do I have something for you.  Check out this little domed specimen.  The display alone is worth the $45, but you also get a sweet gold skull.  Limited to 50 pieces.  

    If you've got some painting ability you might wanna get something to stir those creative juices.  Here are two pieces just waiting for your customizing skills.  Get a blank Ice Scream man for $35 or a blank skull for $15.  

    Ok, we finally reached the end, which is good cause I'm developing callouses on my typing fingers.  Hungry Hungry Hordak wants nothing more than to come live with you and flash his man bits every time you look at him.  He's kind of a weirdo like that.  For $15 you can be eternally shocked by his vulgarness.  

    Everything goes on sale tomorrow at noon eastern time from

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Shallow Grave Mummy Skelevex to be Unearthed on Halloween

    It looks like someone had a productive day in the yard.  How long do you think it will be before every square inch of populated land on Earth will have a dead body under it?  I feel that this is one of those things that could be solved by an equation of some sort that is well beyond anything I'm willing to risk bruising my brain to figure out.  But I would assume with the way people are breeding there's got to be some point in time where its gonna happen.  It will be so commonplace that they'll probably have to issue everyone a new type of recycling bin just to throw old bones in whenever they find them.  Unearthed human remains pick up will be every other Wednesday or they will make special trips if you call in advance cause your bin is overflowing after digging for your new pool.  

    We're a long ways away from all of our backyards being as rich with marrow as the Paris catacombs, but people do make unexpected finds every once in a while when planting a new rose bush.  And these Skelevex look like they are ready to give some unsuspecting gardener the scare of their lives.  Only six of these "Shallow Grave Mummy" versions exist and you can snag one on Halloween (that's this Friday!!!) at 11:59 GMT at this link.

Phantom Edition of Jermaine Roger's Choices Available on Halloween

    That evil looking bunny is back and this time he's wearing his invisibility cloak.  Is there really any doubt now to his intentions?  That bunny is gonna cut you some new ventilation holes if you're not careful.  His wee beady eyes betray his attempts at stealthiness, so if you see two floating red orbs in your bed tonight, you better hope his depth perception sucks.  Or you just need to stop drinking so much.

    Jermaine Rogers has made 100 of these crystal clear killing machines and they will be released, appropriately enough, this Friday October 31st.  They will only be available at for $75 each and 10 random figures will come with a special ticket that entitles you to an exclusive art print.  Screw buying bulk candy to give out to the neighborhood heathens and instead get yourself something nice to celebrate Halloween.


Monday, October 27, 2014

Designer Con Exclusive Bounty Wrestlers from Healeymade x DKE

    Did you watch Hell in a Cell last night?  How crappy was that ending to the Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose match?  You've got two guys putting on one of the best matches of the year and then you end it with the lights going out and Bray Wyatt interfering.  I like the possibilities of Ambrose vs Wyatt, but the way that ended was just a disservice to everyone involved and the people watching it.  I'm still mad.  

    But I love my wrasslin, and I love Star Wars, so thank God someone finally got wise and put em together.  Healeymade cast up 6 sets of these Bounty Wrestlers as exclusives for DKE at Designer Con.  They come all framed up looking fancy and ready to elevate your collection's wow factor.  You can impress your momma with these.  

Friday, October 24, 2014

Behold the Lavender Pollen Kaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    Did anyone start their Christmas shopping yet?  I'm sort of on the ball this year and have already begun chipping away at it.  I'm never the type to wait until the last minute, but each year I seem to get dangerously close to panic mode.  Sometimes I even have dreams where it's Christmas morning and I haven't bought anyone anything and I do my best to fake a reason to be rushed to the emergency room just to buy me some time to figure out what to do.  They at least have a gift shop in the hospital, so I might be able to pass off a "get well" teddy bear or a bunch of phone cards as legit gifts.  It's kinda horrifying.

    You can begin your shopping for me today when Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery release their latest edition of the mighty Pollen Kaiser.  See how easy I make this for you.  So park yourself near a computer at noon Pacific time, have it pointed at and let the raining of presents upon me commence.  Of you can buy it for someone else I guess and I'll just resent you.  Kidding, I'm kidding, I will always love you.  But there's always room to move up on the love list, now isn't there?  


Halloween Pickle Baby from Leecifer Drops Today!

    I wonder if anyone has ever put one of Leecifer's Pickle Babies in a jar, filled it with some cloudy water, and called it a PICKLED Baby.  It would be the easiest custom in the world and if it hasn't been done yet I urge someone out there to do it.  And make an aged label identifying it to paste on the front too.  I don't want you to take my idea and just phone it in, cause that's just disrespectful.  Make it museum quality.  The challenge is out there.  

    Look at how festive these dudes are!  I bet they've already been to Starbucks twice and gotten something pumpkin flavored.  I think marbled toys are some of my favorites out there right now, and I'm loving how this orange and black has swirled together to make each one of these unique.  If you want one to spice up your Halloween decor (or Thanksgiving, this guy would look perfect next to a turkey-shaped butter sculpture) then pick one up from today.