New Toys Dropping Today from Skinner

    I just came inside after shoveling snow and I am seriously aware of my mortality.  I'm out of breath, there is snot frozen to my face, and my arms feel as though they have been ripped from the sockets and put back into place with scotch tape.  Ladies, try to control yourselves. 

    You know who doesn't have to shovel snow?  Skinner doesn't, cause he is smart enough to live in California where crap like that doesn't happen.  That frees him up from the trappings of weather-initiated manual labor and gives him more time to make cool stuff like this.  Like those sweet Baby Huey figures you see up there.  Limited to only 5 pieces, they will be $200 each.  But you want to know what the sweetest deal you'll ever be able to get is?  Look down below at these Minion sets.  You get two hand painted figures for only $75.  And these things aren't small and weak like my muscles either.  And they're shiny, which will keep your cats mesmerized for hours.  All of these otherworldly toys go on sale today (January 22nd) at noon Pacific time from http://theartofskinner.com/.

Darth Vader Son and Daughter Maquettes from Gentle Giant

    Hey, I have a soft side just like everyone else.  It's not all skulls and black metal for me.  I have a few heartstrings that get tugged on every now and again and this is one of those times.  Just look how precious these are!!  These maquettes from Gentle Giant are based on the popular children's books written by Jeffrey Brown.  Both are available for preorder now with a special edition of their respective books.  Hopefully your dad was around more than Darth Vader was, cause that dude probably caused those kids to go through some serious counseling.  

Grimlock vs. Soundwave Two Pack from The Loyal Subjects

    Every time I see a Transformer I can hear in my head that weird sound that they make when they transform.  You know what it is, from the cartoon series.  I can't actually type what it sounds like, but I used to make it as a kid when I would change them back and forth from vehicles to robots.  It starts to make you light headed if you get one of those hard Transformers and you can't change him before you run out of breath.  Then you pass out and wake up face first on a pile of robots, which let me tell you is almost as bad as stepping on Legos barefoot.  

    The Loyal Subjects don't want you to worry about such nonsense, so their toys don't transform at all, but they don't really need to, because they're cool enough just as they are.  And look how fancy Soundwave and Grimlock look in black.  Do Transformers have their own version of GQ magazine, cause they would be on the cover.  This two pack will be available starting next Tuesday, January 21st and is an edition of 500 sets.  Pick one up from www.theloyalsubjects.com/.

Charcoal Grey Dead Kozik Bust from Kevin Gosselin

    Every home needs a Dead Kozik.  Think about the possibilities that his rotten plastic head offers.  Put it on your coffee table to let burglars know that they should turn around and run screaming!  Put a hidden camera in his nose to obtain blackmail material on your kids!  Use it to hold the lid down on your trash can and keep pesky raccoons out!  Put him in the passenger seat of your car to qualify for the car pool lane!  Lay him on the pillow next to you while you sleep for those times that you just want to cuddle!  The possibilities are as endless as your imagination!

    This charcoal grey version of Frank Kozik's zombie face was created by Kevin Gosselin and is available wherever you prefer to buy your toys.  And if it's not you can ask em to stop being lazy and order one for you.  

Neapolitan Boss Carrion from Paul Kaiju

    I wish they had elephants that looked like this at the zoo.  I like the normal elephants, but it wouldn't hurt to spice things up a bit.  Most of the time when I'm at the zoo they aren't doing a whole lot, which I suppose is normal for them.  But you get something like this there, and all kinds of craziness is bound to happen.  And even if it doesn't, people would stop and stare for hours just waiting in case it did.  It would probably be expensive to feed though, because you can't buy the souls of orphans wholesale.  

   Paul Kaiju is releasing this newest edition of his Boss Carrion figure through lottery beginning this Sunday, January 19th, at noon Pacific time.  The lottery will close on January 20th at the same time and then he will notify those lucky folks if they won a chance to purchase one.  View all the pertinent details by going to http://paulkaiju.com/.

World War Gee: The Purple Zombie from Huck Gee

    During the Christmas season, my local mall decided to have some sort of zombie walk and everyone who showed up in costume got $10 off a picture with Santa.  That was the very moment I thought I could never be excited about anything zombie related again.  Which I was fine with.  I love all of the George Romero films, but the recent zombie craze really never did much for me.  Then I heard Huck Gee was gonna be doing a series of zombie custom figures and my interest in the undead suddenly took a turn for the better.  I really liked his zombie Dunny figures and lo and behold his first release is a take on that very toy.

    Of course, this is a much more detailed version of the toy that Kidrobot produced a few years ago.  It's handmade, its a lot bigger, and it comes with cool little accessories like real tighty-whiteys and insect buddies that are there looking for a meal for their unborn kids.  

    Starting this Friday, January 17th at 1pm Pacific time, this figure will be on sale for exactly 24 hours at www.huckgee.com.  After that they will all be made to order, so if you don't get one now you may never see it again.  They will be $450 each, so start applying for credit cards.  Remember, a healthy credit score is essential to getting lower interest rates on home mortgages and car loans, so build your credit while buying cool stuff.  I learned that from Wu-Tang financial.  

Shipwreck Edition Octopups from Nathan Hamill

    People keep making different breeds of dogs do the deed to create new, sometimes weird, looking hybrids.  Yeah, it's kinda fun at first creating designer mutts I suppose, but that's old hat.  It's time to impress me folks and cross breed dogs with different animals.  Sure it's not as easy as putting a dude and a lady dog in a room with a Barry White cd, some scented candles, and letting nature take it's course, but that's what science is there for.  We may in fact regret making German Shephards with tentacles, but we won't know until we try and imagine the fun we'll have along the way.

    Nathan Hamill has already predicted the future of dog breeding with his Octopup toys.  This is the Shipwreck edition featuring copper spray on translucent green bodies.  Only 7 were made and they will be up for sale tomorrow, January 16th, at noon Pacific time for $25.

http://nathanhamill.bigcartel.com/