Thursday, July 31, 2014

Help Mindzai Kickstart The Lovebot

    The internet has ruined me.  When I heard Mindzai had a Kickstarter going to make a Lovebot, all I could think about was some weird Japanese thing that would fill the void of a significant other.  Thankfully I was very wrong, and Lovebot is merely a cute little toy with a big heart.  He is the creation of Matthew Del Degan and has been a mainstay in the street art scene in Toronto.  They're selling this guy as a DIY version, but I kinda like him just the way he is.  That may or may not have to do with the fact that I can't draw, and any attempts I make to customize one might look like he got tattooed in some sketchy dude's basement.  

    The campaign has lots of different reward levels, up to a 2 foot tall concrete version of this dude that would make for a pretty sick lawn decoration.  Visit this link and get one of these little guys for yourself.   

Help Rob Zombie Make His New Film and Get Stuff You Can't Live Without!

    For some reason Rob Zombie never calls me to be involved in his movies.  No matter how long I sit by the phone, or how many of his pictures on Instagram I like, I have yet to be able to quit my day job and start my new life as a horror movie villain.  You're killing me Rob, cause I'm so ready for this!!!!!!!   Part of it might have to do with the fact that he doesn't know my phone number, or that I've never pursued acting at all, but those are just minor hiccups.  

   As my therapist once said, I may be a bit delusional, but now I actually have a chance to be in Rob Zombie's next film.  And so do you, and your mom, and her weird boyfriend.  Mr. Zombie has launched a new website to help fund his next film, 31.  As you can see from the picture above, it's gonna involve some clowns that are sick to death or making ballon animals.  Here's a little bit more about the movie:

     "It is the story of five random people kidnapped on the five days leading up to Halloween and held hostage in a place called Murder World. While trapped inside this man-made Hell they must fight to survive playing the most violent game known to man... a game called 31." 

   And I'm sold!!!!!!  How cool is it that you could have a hand in making this happen?  Take yourself and your credit card information to and get some pretty cool rewards for your donation.  Everything from signed posters and dvds, to props from Halloween and House of 1,000 Corpses, and you could even be an extra in the film!  Let me tell you something, if you take a girl to see this movie and your ugly mug pops up on the screen you are guaranteed to have an eventful night, even if you had to pick her up on the back of your moped.  It's amazing what superstardom can do for your love life.  Do you think it's cool if I start a crowd funding site so I can raise money to donate it to this project and be in the film?  Did I just win the internet with this idea?  Finally, my cats will be impressed with me!  

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Summer Sametan 2 Pre Order from Cometdebris

    Are you gonna watch Sharknado 2 tonight?  Of course you are, why would I be so silly.  This past Sunday Sharon and I binged watched all these really cheesy shark movies on the Syfy Channel.  I love the random people they get to be in them.  Brooke Hogan (Hulk's daughter) was in two of them, way to get type cast there, and Steve Urkel was in one, and Debbie Gibson.  I've never acted in anything in my life and I'm pretty sure I could easily be in one of these films.  It can't take more than a few days to make a movie about a two headed murderous great white shark, so I could just use some of my vacation time, become a bad movie star, then go into hiding when everyone makes fun of me.  Sounds like a plan!

    I'm gonna need to practice my shark fighting skills, cause I don't want to be one of those scrubs that gets eaten first.  I could start small, like on one of these Summer Sametans from Cometdebris.  I'm pretty sure I could take him, plus he's already filled his entire body with all sorts of sea life so he shouldn't be hungry for my sweet meat.  They're available for pre order from now until August 8th at 7pm Pacific Time.  A portion of the proceeds will benefit PangeaSeed, who are helping to save sharks and conserve our oceans.   

We Become Monsters Presents: Bog Boy

    This is the precise reason it is important to not have standing water in your yard.  They tell you it's bad because mosquitos will lay eggs and then inject you with horrible diseases while they steal your blood, which kinda sucks too.  But one night you'll be having a bbq with the family and all of a sudden a creature such as this will rise from that makeshift pond you meant to fill in and you'll have to abandon your home and all your worldly possessions and run in terror, all the while the Bog Boy just wanted to tell you how good your hamburgers smelled and ask for cooking tips so he stopped burning his.  

    As human beings we have an irrational fear of people whose skin appears to be melting off and who live in swamps.  Help break down those barriers by welcoming Bog Boy into your home.  If you live in the Las Vegas area you can pick up this newest creation from We Become Monsters in person, or for the rest of us you can utilize to get one.  


Universal Monsters Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    Remember the simpler times, when the only monsters you had to be scared of were these guys, and not your creepy neighbor with the mugshot and extensive criminal record you found while doing a Google search?  Back in the day you had to learn your neighbor was a creep the hard way: when the cops and the news team showed up.  But these guys were still way scarier according to my partially repressed memory.  

    This September you can relive all the fun/excitement/terror of Universal Monsters with these Pop! Vinyl figures from Funko.  Because of all the cool stuff they make I may never be able to retire, but I'll have the best toy collection of any of my geriatric friends.  

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Breaking Bad Meets Professional Wrestling? Sign Me Up, Goodleg Toys!!!

    It's no secret that professional wrestlers are notorious for using so called performance enhancements.  Those vitamins Hulk Hogan was always telling you to take didn't come in the form of chewable Flintstone characters.  What I'd really like to see is a wrestling league where everyone is doped up on illegal drugs and fight till no one has any teeth left.  Could you imagine a bunch of gross old meth heads beating the snot out of each other?  I can, and it is glorious.  I'm gonna start the CHWF, or Crack Head Wrestling Federation, make millions off of the pay per views, and retire to some European country.  

    The geniuses at Goodleg Toys have inspired my next entrepreneurial endeavor with the release of the second series of Tok-Sicko MehiKO.  One of the dude's names is actually El Meth-Ador, which I totally need in my new wrasslin company.  They also have some blank 3 packs so you can create your own luchador personas.  They're available now for $17 each of the two you see above, and $30 for the three packs at They're all handmade and stuff too!  

Monday, July 28, 2014

Mayor 4 Crack Kickstarter from Mindzai

    That Toronto mayor seems like a fun guy.  See, in America we all assume that our politicians must be smoking crack based on some of the horrible crap they do, but in Canada they freely admit to it!  We remember Rob Ford, getting caught on tape talking about all his crazy hijinks.  Then he refused to resign despite everyone trying to get him out of there.  Has anyone ever tried reasoning with a crackhead?  It should be an Olympic sport.  

    Now the folks at Mindzai are trying to immortalize him forever in plastic form as part of a new Kickstarter campaign.  I can freely admit that I never once thought about the guy becoming a toy, but it's kinda practical really.  Whenever you're feeling bad about yourself you could look at this guy and think "well, at least I'm not smoking crack and the laughingstock of an entire nation yet"  You'll be amazed at how much brighter that will make your day.  To get in on this campaign and help bring this figure into the real world, check out this link.  

I'm Back From Not Being at Comic Con!!

    I'm back from my "I'm not at comic con so I have nothing to really talk about" mini vacation!!!!  Did you miss me?  Are you even still reading this after seeing the most horrific picture I've ever found on the internet?  That bro is ready for battle/Fashion Week.  Is it more horrifying that he is dressed this way or that he actually knows someone else and convinced them to take this picture?  Do you think that person is still alive or in a few different pieces in a lonely basement freezer?  Whenever I go to conventions I'm usually stuck in line near someone like this and wondering what I did to deserve such punishment/why didn't I bring a can of Lysol with me.  

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Monster Worship at SDCC

    Monster Worship is making the trek west for San Diego Comic Con and is bringing a metric butt ton of stuff for you.  Lets get to it sucka.

    From the twisted mind of Johnny Ryan come his Prison Pit creations Cannibal Fu**face and Rottweiler Herpes.  How are these not characters in the WWE?  Someone get Vince McMahon on the phone.  They're unpainted, yellow as all get out, and rarer than a watchable Jennifer Aniston film.  Each one is $75 ya cheapskate.

    Where my Galaxy People at?  Ok, that was lame of me to say and now my street cred level has dropped below zero.  I would like to apologize to all of my friends, my family, and my fans that I let down.  I will now be entering a rehab facility to help me work through my problems.  These little dudes are $25 each or $75 for the set, cause that's how math works, son.  

    Oh, this is something else from Johnny Ryan and it's called Mass Murder.  That is a not a good name for a child at all, so don't be easily influenced by pop culture and name your kid that.  You're just asking to drive up to the federal penitentiary every weekend for the rest of their natural life.  But he is all sparkly, which I'm a sucker for.  $85 will get you one.  

    These are the tiniest little Greasebats ever.  Jeff Lamm created these wee little bros and they are $15 each in slime green or unpainted glow in the dark.  Don't put them in your nose. 

    This guy looks like fun and not horrifying at all.  Just kidding, he scares me a bit.  Not pee my pants scared, but scared enough that I wouldn't take my eyes off of him for any period of time, less he catch you on the sneak!!!!  Michael Skattum designed this freaky dude and you can have your very own for $50.

   If you want any of this goodness you have one chance this Friday at 3:30pm at the Lulubell Toys booth # 5047 when they start giving out tickets for the sale which will last from 4-6.  

Peruse the SDCC Wares of Frank Kozik

    By this time next week all of the attendees of San Diego Comic Con will be bankrupt and suffering from what is called the "nerd flu", which is transmitted by being stuffed like sardines into big convention spaces.  But don't worry, it's rarely fatal.  Once your germs stop arguing about whether or not Star Wars is superior to Star Trek they usually just move on about their business.  Frank Kozik will be there trying not to get sick while selling you lots and lots of neat stuff he made, like these Clockwork Carrot figures.  He's got some of the originals left for $125 and the new Supervillian edition for $145: 

    Or maybe you're more of a bear person, I don't know your life!  Check out this matte black Dim Bear for $145 with awesome gold beat down chain.  

    Do you like adventures and mysteries, cause William, Henry, and Reginald here look like they're about to do some exploring/sleuthing that will probably lead to epic hijinks and other words you won't ever use in a sentence in your daily life.  This is the Heart of Darkness edition, which leads me to believe their quest will take them beyond the family friendly realms of PBS and into the seedier underbelly of HBO.  For $110 you can make up your own gripping tales of suspense, intrigue, and scandal!

    Ooooooh I like this.  Heathrow is looking like a rare treasure in clear blue vinyl.  And he is pretty rare, cause only 50 of these were made and they will be $40 each.  

    Ahhhh more clear blue vinyl!  Look how it shines like the Hope Diamond.  And it's probably equally as cursed.  I think I need a light box to display my clear toys, cause this setup is just too nice.  This is that wow factor that people will see when they come into your home and make them forget all about the cat smell.  25 of these sets of Hateballs were made and can be yours for $65.  

    Are two Hateballs just too much commitment for you?  Do you not feel you'll be able to love them both equally and show them the attention they need to flourish in this cold hearted world?  How about you stick with one big one that glows in the dark.  He's unpainted and will run you $40.  If you buy enough of them you could hang them from your deck and create party lights.  If you have any friends that would come to a party, which I don't and no I don't wanna talk about it.  

    The future is kinda stupid isn't it?  It's mainly stupid cause we'll miss out on most of it.  Sure, we'll get to see the immediate future, like lunch time and whatnot, and we'll get to see what remains of the future until our mortal bodies give out like broken down flesh sedans, but the way way future is completely lost to us.  It's a complete rip off.  At least we don't know what we will be missing, which is nice.  Plague victims were never like "Damn, guess I won't be around to Tweet or take selfies."  I need to get more sleep.  

   You need a lavender resin Gipper in your life.  Just trust me, it's all part of the bigger picture.  Only 50 were made and they cost $40.  

Visit Frank at booth 5051 starting today!

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

SDCC Exclusive Shub Zeroth from Metacrypt x DSKI One

    People are always asking me for advice on how to woo the fairer sex.  Actually, no one has ever asked me that, but I'm gonna tell you anyway with an example from this past Sunday.  First, my wife and I drove out to the boondocks of Pennsylvania to do a bit of antiquing.  There's nothing women love more than buying dead people's treasures.  Gets 'em all in the mood for romance. Next we ate lunch at our favorite spot in the continental US that serves German food.  After gorging ourselves on piles of meat we then headed home to watch the WWE wrasslin pay per view.  And that my friends is not only how you show a woman a good time, that is how you stay happily married.  If they aren't impressed by a date like that you should cut your loses and leave them on the side of the road because it's obvious they're terrible people.  

    This San Diego Comic Con exclusive Shub Zeroth reminds me of some good antiquing with that nice patina he's sporting.  I'm a sucker for a good patina, and I want this dude pretty badly.  I would not be opposed to showering you with praise if you buy me one.  Metacrypt made him, DSKI One painted him up, and he will be available at 1pm Thursday at the Lulubell Toys booth # 5047.  They will also have some unpainted grey versions and some green and white severed heads that are fun for kids to play with.  If anything doesn't sell (which would be stupid of all of you attending) it will be made available at Brian Ewing's booth # 4503.  

Monday, July 21, 2014

3A SDCC Exclusives Online Sale

    I haven't once complained about not being able to go to San Diego Comic Con.  I've never been before, so it's not like I had any expectations of attending.  Plus, most of the exclusive stuff makes it's way online one way or another.  The folks at 3A are ensuring that you aren't missing all the fun that comes with waiting in line for hours at a time by releasing their exclusives this Wednesday, July 23rd, at 11pm Hong Kong time.  These are the amazing toys they'll have available, and you can buy them separately or as a bundle package that will save you a few dollars plus get you an exclusive poster (that is, if you're an existing 3A member, cause membership has its perks). They're not guaranteeing how long the sale will go on for or how many of each will be available, so if you want em you better cancel your plans and make your new home

Friday, July 18, 2014

SDCC Exclusive NekoFukurou by Jeff Soto x Blackbook Toy x DKE

    You know why these are great?  You don't have to answer cause I'm gonna tell you.  These are more than just toys: they're uber functional design pieces that you can change with your mood.  There's a cat on one side, an owl on the other, and they come in two different colors.  You can mix, you can match, you can drive yourself absolutely crazy with the possibilities.  And they're hollow, so you can get all DIY and put a little LED light under them.  Or those awkward photos that your best friend knows to burn in case you ever turn up dead.  I'm not here to judge.  

    Jeff Soto and Blackbook Toy created these and they will be another DKE exclusive at San Diego Comic Con.  I'm not allowed to have these because it would cause me to have a melt down trying to decide how to display them.  They're just teasing my obsessiveness.  

SDCC Exclusive Transformers Box Sets from The Loyal Subjects

    The best thing about having been a kid in the 80's and 90's is that everything I loved will always be reinvented in cool new ways.  The toys I played with and the shows I watched are constantly getting revamped for a new generation of folks and that makes it new for me again.  The Loyal Subjects are, in my not so humble opinion, the reigning kings of nostalgia.  They've taken so many classic franchises and put their own spin on them to make them fresh.  Just look at how amazing these Transformers 3 packs are.  They are exclusives to San Diego Comic Con, but being that they made 500 sets of each, you might be able to snag them afterwards.  Not that you should chance it if you have a ready and willing mule that can get them for you at the convention.  I've toy muled before and it's kinda fun.  You feel like you're doing something dangerous, like any minute the cops will show up and strip search you for contraband.  I'm living on the edge baby!!!

The Mythicals Kickstarter from Monster Factory

    Who else is angry that the world isn't filled with real live mythical creatures?  Seriously, we've packed this place with humans who, let's be honest, kinda suck sometimes.  Where are the unicorns, and griffins, and dragons?  I want to go the zoo and see a chupacabra, or be able to go to Scotland and pet the Loch Ness Monster.  I don't care about driving a Ferrari or being a professional wrestler (wait a sec, I totally care about that one) I just want to live amongst the great critters of literature.

    Monster Factory is doing their best to fill the world with the magic of our imaginations with their new line of Mythicals plushies.  These feisty Canadians have started a Kickstarter campaign to make your life just a tad bit snugglier (is that a word?  it is now) with these three little dudes.  Of course I'm a bit partial to my boy Cthulhu there, but the other two are equally as cute and are less likely to enslave us all.  Just kidding, he would never do that, just look at that face!  If you follow this link you can score yourself one or more of these guys while you help them become a reality.   

SDCC Exclusive Shadow Ralf from Craola x 3DRetro

    This looks like something that would be in one of those creepy stop motion films and surprise, it is.  Greg "Craola" Simkins is creating a short called "I'm Scared" and this little dude is part of it.  Is he what we're supposed to be scared of, cause he kinda freaks me out a little.  He's like a little dead Batman that would knock your dishes out of the cabinets while you slept.  

    Shadow Ralf stands a full 6 inches tall, will cost you $70, and is a San Diego Comic Con exclusive for 3DRetro.  You can meet Greg on Thursday from 1pm-2pm, have him sign your figure, and ask him about the film and if there are things more scary than this guy in it.  

Thursday, July 17, 2014

SDCC Exclusive Chorko from Skinner x Healeymade

    Fun fact:  He-Man was originally conceived as Charles Manson's introduction to the world of acting.  He was gonna play every character in this passion piece he developed while locked away in prison.  Of course by the time he envisioned it He-Man had already been on the air for a number of years and he wasn't allowed to use the phone anymore.  Thems the breaks Charlie!

    Skinner and Healeymade know that ol Charlie Manson's version would have been far superior, so they have created the most epic toy line ever featuring what could have been.  This is Charlie taking on the role of Orko, that weird little floating shirt wizard thingy.  You'd think if you were a good wizard you could hocus pocus yourself some new legs, but what do I know.  This bro is an exclusive to San Diego Comic Con and will only be available from Skinner himself at booth number 5051.  

Dino Knights Tricetan from Goodleg Toys

    Oh, look at you Mr. Steven Speilberg, going around and killing long extinct animals for your own sick pleasure.  You think your beach house would look nice with a giant triceratops head over your mantle? Well you're gonna regret that design faux pas soon, cause revenge is coming and it puts the triceps in triceratops, or something.

    Dino Knights aren't going to stand for such a horrendous crime, and they're sending their boy Tricetan to take care of business.  Just look at this prehistoric bro.  He's unstoppable and he's in a bad mood.  The folks at Goodleg Toys are gonna ensure dino pouching ends tonight as they unleash this beast at midnight GMT.  Join the fight by picking up this hand painted resin figure at  

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

SDCC Exclusive Snybora from Chris Ryniak x Rotofugi x Squibbles Ink

    I am going to admit something I'm not terribly proud of right now:  One of my favorite things to watch on tv at the moment is Naked and Afraid.  There are a couple of reasons I enjoy this show.  One is that I am desperately trying to wrap my head around why anyone would want to be dropped in the wilderness without pants and being left there for three weeks.  Maybe I just don't know how to have fun.  The other reason I like it is because I feel that if I watch enough of them someone is going to get bit by a snake in a very uncomfortable place and it will be the single greatest thing that has ever been on tv.  Like when that guy got his calf bit off on Shark Week and they actually showed it!!!!  That was I-N-S-A-N-E!!!  So far nothing real bad has happened to anyone on the show other than some questionable food choices that led to stomach discomfort, but a producer did get bitten by a snake and half his foot rotted off.  That was pretty gross and a perfect example on why the people that are on this show have lost their minds.  

    I would also be totally fine with something like this Snybora rising from a lake and chasing two naked folks through the woods.  I imagine he would run kind of like a frilled lizard and scare the living crap out of you.  The Blushing Envy version of this scaly menace was created by Chris Ryniak and brought to life by Squibbles Ink and Rotofugi and is an exclusive to San Diego Comic Con.  Get one for yourself at booth 5248 for $35 and have it sit next to you as you watch reality television for all the wrong reasons.  

SDCC Exclusive Milk Choco and Dark Choco Miyu Square Cosplay from Toy Tokyo x 3A

    Alright ladies, I know you're working hard on your costumes for San Diego Comic Con, but if you are stuck on who to dress up as may I suggest you take inspiration from the photo above.  Or really any of the girls from the world of 3A would be fine with me.  No need to thank me,  I'm just here trying to be your costuming muse for the sake of the greater good.

    I love that someone has finally made a convention exclusive toy that takes into account the culture of convention going.  And not only that, but 3A have combined two of their popular characters in doing so.  Toy Tokyo has these Milk Choco and Dark Choco Miyu Square Cosplay figures on lockdown and they are limited to 50 pieces each.  So if you want one you better get to booth 5337 early cause these ladies will most likely be pretty popular.  

SDCC Exclusive Resin Bones Series from Killer Bootlegs x Mike Egan x DKE

    I am officially ready to make my pick for greatest thing available at San Diego Comic Con this year. And being that my logic has proven to be beyond reproach, you're gonna want these so bad.  Killer Bootlegs shrunk Mike Egan's Bones figure down to action figure size and painted them, and get ready for this cause I'm about to push the whole thing over the top:  each card back was painted BY HAND by Mike!!!  This is as original as original art gets.  Who came up with this, because it is genius.  There are three different styles modeled after three different classic toy lines and only twenty of each version were produced.  These are exclusives for the fine folks at DKE, so I would make sure I hit their booth up pretty early and maybe rob some cosplay kids on your way in so you have a ton of cash.  Not that I condone criminal activity mind you, but I'm just saying you gotta make sure your funds level is sufficient so you can get all your treasures back home.  Just don't try and rob anyone cosplaying as a cop, cause that will end poorly for you.  

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

New Bedtime Bunnies from Peter Kato

    So yesterday I'm driving home from work and I pass by this huge open field where I normally see turkeys and deer roaming around eating their dinner.  Usually they're nowhere close to one another, respecting some invisible boundary that they've obviously agreed upon.  But last night they were all intermingled.  It was kinda weird seeing them all mixed together just chillin.  I have a hard time getting my cats to not torment one another and they're all the same species, and here we have these two very different creatures enjoying a dinner party.  

   I realize that there weren't any bunnies in that story, but I'd like to think the field was filled with them, they were just too short for me to see as I drove by.  Could you imagine if there were bunnies the size of deer?  That would take them from cute to frightening real fast. 

    I swear to you all this is going somewhere eventually.  Tomorrow night at 9pm, Peter Kato will be releasing another round of his insanely popular Bedtime Bunnies.  There will be 24 of the dark purple and hot pink ones, while there will be 12 more of the all pink ones in case you missed them before.  Each figure comes in either small or medium sizes and thankfully none are the size of dairy cows.