Amanda Visell's "Scaredy Labbit" from Kidrobot

    Oh, Lord help me, cause I can feel my money leaving my wallet the longer I look at these.  Some phantom hand has reached in and lifted my credit cards from their place of rest and is attempting to type all of their digits into various websites, ordering the fine Labbits you see before you.  I am but a man; too weak to resist such temptations when laid before me.  

    Kidrobot knows I love Labbits.  Frank Kozik knows I love Labbits (it's detailed on the restraining order). Amanda Visell may or may not know that I love her work.  Now all three of them have colluded to create this amazing hunk of plastic in not one but two different versions!!!!!!!!  The dark blue version you see above can be had as we speak from your favorite toy retailer, while the light blue one you see below will be an exclusive to www.kidrobot.com sometime this month.

    

    But this Labbit not only looks good; it also answers one of those really important questions that is never covered in a public school education:  what happens when you eat a ghost?  Is there any nutritional value to digesting a spectre?  Can you expect a night full of indigestion after swallowing a poltergeist?  Behold, the answer:

    Ghosts are just like corn!!!!!!  So don't bother eating them, because like their vegetable cousin they come out just the same as they go in.  You won't learn stuff like this on TMZ.  

I'm Tired of Shoveling Snow so I'm Reviewing Some New Plush Labbits from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

    You may or may not be aware, but it snowed a butt ton where I live a few weeks ago.  Snow literally ceases to be an exciting thing the moment you get a job and responsibilities, because unlike when you're a child, most of the time a little frozen precipitation is no reason to slow the world of commerce.  Once we got over two feet of snow and the person I worked for didn't care that I sent her a picture of my car covered in a snow drift, she only wanted to know if I'd be able to make it to open on time.  My car was buried more securely than King Tut and she just wanted to make sure I was willing to risk my life in case some random idiot braved the storm to buy a T-shirt.  Thankfully I know longer work for such an unreasonable company and spent the storm safe at home where periodically I would pray not to have a heart attack while shoveling my car out.

    Being out in the snow made me think of soft things, like these new plush Labbits from Frank Kozik and Kidrobot.  It also made me think of frostbite and Civil War style amputations, but let's just focus on the fuzzy bunnies.  (I also don't currently own any toys inspired by archaic surgical techniques, but I'm open to it).

    These dudes have obviously been the product of some interesting love connections going on in the animal kingdom.  Now, I can kinda see a Dalmatian and a bunny getting a little tipsy and spending some time together, but the giraffe thing is beyond all comprehension.  There are particulars of that coupling that boggle the mind and yet here we have proof of it.  Science doesn't lie, folks.  

     Labbits, as it oddly turns out, are about as interested in helping with freeing your automobile from an icy prison as they are with discussing the complexities of their gene pools,  and being that my heart felt like it was going to explode I decided to return inside and take my bunny companions with me.  

    Look at how lovely they look in their more natural, leisurely habitat.  You may recognize this little gathering of books on top of my dresser from other toys reviews or Instagram posts.  Not only does it make me look studious to have them, but if you're able to see the titles it further pushes my status as an international man of mystery.  We have books from comedians and noted authors and even graphic novels working hard as mere background fodder, but are they doing more?  Is there a secret message hidden within their spines that reveals something more about your humble narrator?  Actually, there's not.  My wife just happened to put them up there one day because our bookcases are beyond capacity and the lighting in my house it not that great but things look kinda nice here and I was hoping you thought I was smart.  Love me, damnit!!!!!!

    I love plush Labbits cause they're not wimpy plush like you get at a regular toy store.  These things are soft but they're also firm as hell, which I think describes my authentic personal brand.  And I wish it described my pillow.  Do you realize how hard it is to find a pillow that is as firm as a Labbit plush?  These things have spoiled me because I can't find a pillow that would be nearly as comfortable as sleeping on one of these.  Now I'm gonna need Kidrobot to make flat ones with the exact same material inside so I can finally get a good nights rest and start to make sense to the people around me.    The above picture was taken inside my bedroom on what I refer to as the landing pad for my cat Daenerys.  She likes to jump from the bed and skid across this table in order to get into the window, which is ok because it is shorter than the window and therefore prevents her from just sliding right through the glass and into the open air.  My therapist would be proud of me for opening up like this to you all.

    These soft little critters are available right now from www.kidrobot.com or wherever you like to buy your designer toys.  Get a whole pile of them and lay naked right in the middle and I'm pretty sure the meaning of life will hit you like a right hook.  Or your wife will come home early from work that day and you will never be able to buy her enough shoes to get her to stop making fun of you for it.  Either way.  

    

Plush Labbit With Littons Coming Soon from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

    Ahhhh the miracle of child birth.  Nothing in the animal kingdom is more beautiful, or at times horrifying, than new little critters being brought into this world.  When I was a wee little lad one of our dogs got loose and fell in with a bad crowd, returning home with shame written all over her face. A bit later she gave birth to puppies right on our front porch, essentially making the corner of it forever unclean and needing to be covered by a decorative bench.  I remember watching as each new doggie squeezed his way out of an impossible situation and plopped into the world covered in the most disturbing flavor of Jell-O one could imagine.  Then the mother proceeded to clean them off, which seemed very impractical to me being we had more than enough paper towels on hand and would have helped if she had only asked.  And where was the father you asked?  Completely absent from the picture!!!!!  He never took them to their tee ball games, or bothered sending checks.  Do you think puppies eat for free?  They surely don't.  

   I learned many lessons that day about life, but there are always new mysteries to uncover.  For instance did you know that like the seahorse, the male Labbit carries the young (known as Littons FYI) until they are ready to be adorable and then a magic zipper appears on his belly so they can spread their cuteness unto the world?  I just learned it today and I had to share it with you in case you were also in the dark about this phenomenon.  

    Frank Kozik and Kidrobot will be releasing this ultimate biology lesson sometime this month.  This 24 inch plush Labbit comes filled with 5 little babies that will make you smile and will make having that talk with your kids about reproduction a whole lot more interesting.  Keep your eyes peeled for when they are released on www.kidrobot.com and in stores around the world.  

Is This Project Runway or am I Just Reviewing the New Stache Labbit Hat From Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

      I'm not an accessory kind of guy.  I don't wear jewelry other than my wedding ring, and I feel dumb wearing sunglasses.  All the time people are trying to get me to wear sunglasses all like "you gotta protect your eyes from the UV rays or you'll get horrible disfiguring tumors" and I'm all like "mind your damn business cause I'm mad self conscious and would rather not feel silly."  Not the most compelling argument, I'll give you that, but it's all I have.  So then Kidrobot sent me one of these Labbit hats and I admit I'm a tad skeptical.  I don't even know if I'm a hat person.  Certainly I'm not a fedora person, cause no one other than well respected character actor Jon Hamm should be.

Can't we just accept that he's the only man alive that can wear these and not be mocked?  I'm looking at you, neckbeards.  

   But what about other hats?  Aside from the odd beanie I've owned for survival purposes in the frigid northeast I've never explored my hat side.  But this is 2016 and the lines are forever blurring between who we know ourselves to be and who we can become, so with that in mind I donned the Labbit hat:

*****Sexiness levels will vary.  Results pictured are not typical.

    Good Lord Almighty I have unlocked the key to visual enlightenment!!!  Just look at me, holding my kitty Jorah like a straight up G.  And what you can't see is the line of kitties, both mine and stray, lined up waiting to get their snuggle on with me.  I think this might be what the kids call swag, but I refuse to Google that in case it's something I don't want in my browser history.

I have made a terrible mistake.

    How dare you think that wearing a Labbit on your head is merely a fashion statement.  Like Luke stuffed into the body of a fallen Tauntaun, my head is toasty warm and free of dreaded frost bite.  And unlike Tauntauns, which are endangered now after the rebel alliance learned that they don't actually dig the cold weather that much, Labbits are so plentiful that to not gather one up and make a hat of it just means their population will soar to absurd numbers which may or may not hamper the development of strip malls.  I'll be damned if some little moustached bunny is gonna stop me from the manifest destiny that is my need to buy Chinese food and go tanning without having to make two stops.

    I'm just kidding of course, I love little critters and detest all areas of commerce.  This hat is made only with imagination and synthetic fibers, which at no time ever roamed wild or had their habitat stolen from them by some jerk butt.  Besides, do you think any creature with a stache like that could be taken down by puny humans?  They would put a hurtin on anyone that disrespected them.  Instead, these hats are a tribute to their superior facial hair and serve to protect us from their wrath should they decide that we are in the way of their new Labbit casinos.  At least, we hope that's what will happen.

    Endear yourself to our future overlords by getting your own warm and toasty Labbit hat right now at www.kidrobot.com.

I just blew your mind with this picture didn't I?

Hold On To Your Britches Cause I'm Reviewing The Stache Labbits from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

      Moustaches are tricky.  Depending on the style and the shape they can mean so many different things.  Sometimes they mean that you may drive a sketchy van and just happen to lose your puppy whenever you're near a grade school.  They could mean that you're a trying to get the start up money to fund your artisanal vegan corn dog restaurant.   The moustache is the mixed signal of the facial hair world and it's time we push aside all the negativity it could convey and let it shine like the beacon of manhood it once was.  So before we continue on with this review I'd like to take a moment to reflect on some important moustaches that really should set the tone for how all you bros out there choose to man up going forward:

Burt Reynolds

Yosemite Sam

The Iron Sheik

Lando Calrissian 

Vlad the Impaler

     Now that the follicles on your lip have some folks to look up too, lets get down to Labbit business.  Frank Kozik and Kidrobot released these 10 inch Stache Labbits at the end of last year and boy are they pretty (in a strict manly sort of way of course). Each one features a high gloss finish that will force you to not take pictures of them while only wearing your underpants in case you ever want to run for public office.  

The things his high gloss finish has seen would break a lesser being.

    Of course the main feature of each is a moustache that is both full and unapologetically luscious.  This is what every man dreamed of as his teenage self tried desperately to cultivate the few weed-like hairs that sprouted on his upper lip.  No matter how many adults berated him with the old wive's tale of shaving to make the hair grow in thicker, he only focused of making his wispy little crumb brush the greatest chick magnet it could be.  Some of us, such as myself, were successful in our endeavors and have enjoyed the life that our moustaches have afforded us.  Others, like the sad fellow you see pictured below, live as a basement dwelling Gollum, responding to personal ads on Craigslist while needlessly combing the almost barren landscape beneath their nose.  

   I feel a nun should be following him through the streets yelling "shame" as he is being whipped.  Also, this may or may not be Justin Bieber.

    Having these Labbits in the house has already upped the previously high testosterone levels to unprecedented heights.  Right out of the box this one proceeded outside to berate me on the inefficiency of our heating and cooling unit and demanded we make a trip to Home Depot so he could gather the necessary tools to rebuild it:

We're gonna get this thing pumping air cold enough to store sides of beef in your living room.

    Then this bro went out looking for buffalo that we could turn into sides of beef and store in the living room:

    There is a distinct lack of buffalo in this place you call "New Jersey".  

    Look how good they look outside.  Maybe I can get a meeting with Kidrobot and we can work on a whole lawn decoration line to replace those creepy gnomes that everyone always buys.  Not that I don't like the creepy gnomes a little, but I want something standing guard over my tomatoes that represents me and not what the evil gardening conglomerates shove down my throat.  I don't need your whole Illuminati Powerball cause I'm gonna get rich the old fashioned way: by making stuff to confuse my neighbors.  

    I got a little off track there, as I sometimes do when genius strikes.  You know you want to have more Labbits in your house, cause duh why wouldn't you?  All of this has just furthered your conviction that there's been a void that can only be filled by the manliest of man bunnies.  It's ok, because that very realization is the first step on your way to enlightenment, or something.  The second step is welcoming these follicly-superior beings into your home today by visiting www.kidrobot.com or checking out your favorite places to buy designer toys.  They can be the father figure you've so desperately needed all these years.  

    

10 Inch Stache Labbits from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot Available Now

    The best performance in the history of film by a mustache would have to have been the stellar acting job featured in Smokey and the Bandit.  Not that Burt Reynold's furry little buddy is mentioned in the cast list on IMDB, or was rewarded for his hard work during award season, but the entire plot of the film could not have advanced to such stellar heights without his subtle, yet strong presence.  At the end of filming Mr. Reynolds should have shaved him off and had him bronzed like a pair of baby's first shoes.  The he could have been enshrined at some worthy museum, most likely a branch of the Smithsonian, where his fans could gather to pay respect to Hollywood's most important facial hair.  God bless you Burt Reynolds for continuing to inspire my follicles to reach for greatness. 

    Look at these Labbits,  with mustaches so glorious they could run for public office.  It's impossible not to trust a face accented in such a beautiful way in what can only be described as art.  They would embarrass a lesser man, bringing shame to the wispy little baby hairs that plague the upper lips of some folks from adolescence through death.  The fact that they are not left in the woods to fend for themselves is a testament to their family's compassion.

    Frank Kozik has finally made some more giant sized big ol Labbits for me to line my entertainment center with.  You can choose from back or white, but I say in the spirit of plastic bunny racial harmony you get em both and set a good example for the rest of the world.  They are available right now at www.kidrobot.com for $49.99 each.   

Kidrobot at Designer Con

    Kidrobot is going to Designer Con.  I am not.  I am sad.

    I already have an appointment scheduled to go and talk about my feelings, so try not to worry to much about me as you try to get one of the always popular Blown Away custom Dunnys from Josh Mayhem.  These dudes practically sell out as quick as he can make em, so I can guarantee they're gonna be one of the quickest things to be snatched up during the show.  And rightfully so, cause just by looking at that picture you can tell a lot of work goes into them.  And the finished result looks like candy coated goodness.  

    The next version of J*RYU's It's a F.A.D. Dunny is presented in 20 inches of luxurious pearlescent.  You will be the envy of your friends, the subject of dinner party conversations, and the object of vile jealous rumors (its inevitable) once you own one of these beauties.  See, they practically sell themselves.  You can also meet the man behind the Dunny as he live paints one on Saturday at 4pm and again Sunday at 3pm.  

    Tweety Bird is kinda putting on a USDA Grade vibe in this vinyl interpretation from Mark Dean Veca.  This certainly won't deter any putty tats from making a delicious mid afternoon snack out of his bulbous head.  This red version will make its first ever appearance this weekend and may inspire a new culinary phenomenon with canary burgers as the staple ingredient.  Pet Smart should stock up.  You can meet Mark during his signing on Saturday at 11am.

    There will be more exclusives and signings with Amanda Visell (Saturday at 2pm) and Scott Tolleson (Sunday at 11am) and a panel with Frank Kozik and others talking all things Kidrobot.  Check it all out at booth #'s 518/521. 

    

Christmas Releases from Kidrobot

    Halloween is now two days behind us, which can only mean that it's time to be bombarded with Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't know how people ever forget to shop until the day before because everywhere you turn someone is reminding you that it's coming up.   Christmas is your vegan friend who keeps leaving their brochures from Peta all over your house.  

    Though it can start to inflict blunt force trauma on your very being, Christmas is also a fun time that you get to spend with your family, eat beyond what is socially acceptable, and a day to show off just how great your engineering skills are by assembling the most complicated toys know to man.  Oh, and there's presents, which I will remind you I accept all year round whether it is marking a major holiday or not.  

    Something that's on my perpetually growing wish list is this new Dunny from Frank Kozik and Kidrobot.  This dude is trying to bring to light the hostile working conditions that North Pole Elves are facing this time of year as they are pushed beyond the limits of their little bodies in an effort to make unreasonable deadlines.  You can get one for yourself and ask him how the arbitration is going starting tomorrow, November 3rd from www.kidrobot.com.  Just don't be surprised if he sets up a giant inflatable rat on your front lawn.  

    You know what's great about these DIY Munny ornaments?  They already look good, so any lack or artistic ability that may be hindering you is totally a non factor.  Just pop em out of the box and onto your tree and wait for your cats to knock them down and shove them under the fridge.  Your experience may vary.  These are also available tomorrow in a handy 5 pack.  

Tricky Cats Blind Boxed Figures from Kidrobot Releasing Tomorrow!

    As you may or may not know, I have a few cats.  Not that you could tell from all the pictures I post on Instagram, or the patches of hair that stick to my clothing not matter what I do.  I love those little buggers and they certainly make life more interesting, like the fact that you never know what state of disrepair your house may be in when you return home from work.  Or if you'll roll over on your side trying to get comfortable in bed and find a hair ball staring you down as if it's ready for a turf war (That happened two nights ago and as proof that I'm totally getting better with not being freaked out by germs I just rolled the other way and went back to sleep.  I was reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallly tired and was hoping it was maybe just a hallucination.  SPOILER ALERT: It wasn't)

    Just in case you had a pile of kittens turn up in your backyard and you're trying to place them in loving forever homes, I'm gonna have to let you know that we are as overcrowded as America's prison system.  The only cats we are currently accepting as new residents are of the plastic variety who respect that sanctity of antique furniture and carpeted staircases.  And lo and behold, we have some fitting candidates here in the form of these new Tricky Cats from Kidrobot.  These things are so freakin cute you'll be tempted to use your small animal/human baby voice as you tickle their wittle bellies.  

    These are packaged blind boxed, so just like real kitties you won't know what you get until they become adult bobcats and you're in your closet, cell phone in hand, begging animal control to come and get the thing before it finishes you off.  You only make that mistake once.  These will be available starting tomorrow, October 30th, on www.kidrobot.com for $9.99 each.  I call dibs on the Halloween dude.  

Even More New Releases from Kidrobot

    

    Kidrobot is going to town with all of these recent releases, so much so that I've collected the one's I've neglected thus far into one post to help you maximize your toy buying abilities.  Prepare to be overwhelmed with things you need.

    Let me tell you something.  Doesn't it sound real serious when I start a paragraph off with that?  Like I'm on the verge of snapping while interrogating you for a crime you just won't confess to?  Well I've got a witness, bub, and I'm ready to make sure you go away for a looooooooooong time for buying that Insane Clown Posse cd.  Kidding, but seriously, just steal the thing next time so it doesn't end up on your credit card statement.  That will haunt you if you ever need to take out a loan.  

    What I was gonna tell you is that Amanda Visell's Ferals mini series is beyond adorable.  Not that you can't see that for yourself, but sometimes it's nice to have a bit of reinforcement when you're declaring things the cutest you've ever seen.  Utilizing the Munnyworld and Dunny platforms for her animal creations, these will make even the toughest grown man squee with delight.  They're sold blind boxed for $11.99 each but I dare you to be able to just buy one.  You can't.

    I've coveted this Dunny from doubleparlour the moment I found out it was happening.  I snagged one this past weekend and completely love it.  It's really interesting to see their work transformed onto such a familiar platform and to have been done without relying on any sculpting.  Hopefully this will not be the last version of their work realized in graphic fashion, cause now I'm hooked.  These are available now for $14.99 each.  

    Halloween is coming and everyone would really appreciate it if you put more effort into your costume this year.  Stop going to that dumb store in the mall, buying what you think is "sexy" or even worse "funny sexy" and parading around like you're changing the game.  Instead of scarring your trick or treaters for life, why not get yourself one of these masks.  You can pick from the DIY ones you see above, designs from the new Dunny series from Brandt Peters, or Frank Kozik's uber popular Labbits.  Your friends will thank you.  Available now for $19.99 each.   

My Top 10 Exclusives for This Year's New York Comic Con

    Let me tell you how prepared I am for New York Comic Con:  I went out today and got a flu shot.  I normally get one every year, and usually well before now, but there was no way I was gonna be pressed up against the sweaty, sniffling, masses without giving my immune system a chance at survival.  Plus, I'm totally out of sick days after The Great Kidney Stone of 2015 and I ain't trying to not get paid, suckas. So the only thing I have left to do is prepare my credit cards to be used and abused and to present to you my top 10 favorite exclusives I've seen for this year's convention.  

    Now this isn't one of those arbitrary lists with random numbers like Buzzfeed puts out there.  I have respect for the sanctity of the top 10 list and damn it without some sort of tradition we're just a bunch of apes rubbing sticks on the rocks to poke each other with.  I will not be poked by an uncouth monkey!  Speaking of ape-like creatures, the top dude you see there is the brand spankin new Wing Kong from Super7.  I love it.  It's a monkey, who looks pissed off, and he's got wings.  That's pretty much the total package.  Available at booth 174.  

    And speaking of horrible illness, check out this infected Dunny from Scott Wilkwoski x Kidrobot.  See, this is the type of thing that I am confident my flu shot will protect me from.  Available in purple or grey and only $60 each, you better be quick to the Clutter Magazine booth # 603 to get one.  

    If I were to ride a horse, which I'm not saying I will, I would hope that it would be a demonic hell pony with a tentacle mouth and bat wings.  Oh, what a coincidence, I happen to have one right here.  Bigshot Toyworks has these Lil Maddie figures at booth #208 just in time to rustle up your demonic cows and send them to the demonic slaughterhouse for processing into demonic burgers.  

    Is it an ice cream cone?  Is it candy corn?  Is it andy corn flavored ice cream?  Is it ice cream cosplaying as candy corn?  I don't know, but now I have a headache thinking about it.  Kozik's Monger Jerome from Rotofugi x Squibbles Ink is looking very Halloween-y in this paint job.  I need one and you do too only at booth # 603.

    Oh let me tell you how I love some marbled vinyl.  It's like the sweet patina of the plastic world.  These Cestodas from Miscreation Toys are the size of a small child without the nagging.  Mishka will have these available at booth # 110.  Bing a back brace to carry this sucker.

   I have yet to even see what the latest Shub Zeroth figure from Meta Crypt looks like, but I am so confident that it couldn't possibly suck that I'm adding it to my list.  Go pay a visit to Brian Ewing at booth # 120 for some killer art and metaphysical plastic.  

   I love snow cones, so now you can add that to the list of facts you know about me.  I hope that a snow cone never turns on me like this crazy dude from Jason Limon x Martian Toys.  Damn, this is a great figure and available at booth # 203.  

   CATS!  It's huge, it's a cat, and I need it.  Komatsu x myplasticheart have a special release of this new Daioh Negora at booth 113 and I'm gonna try and get one cause I'm that kind of pimp.  

    Another Dunny and another item I have to own.  Like, I won't die per se if I don't get one, but I wouldn't stand to close cause I may rage out.  doubleparlour killed this and it's debuting at booth # 603.

    The award for "most adorable freakin thing at comic con" goes to these Sleepytime Sea Bunnies from Peter Kato.  They are limited to 30 pieces and will be available from the Piq Products booth # 614 starting tomorrow.