Monday, September 21, 2020

DIY Vinyl Stroll from Spanky Stokes x Strange Cat Toys

 


    While the full blown quarantine has passed long ago, many of us are finding ways to entertain ourselves that don't involve going out as much.  Personally, I've been doing a lot of gardening, walking around the neighborhood to get in some exercise, and fine tuning my crippling anxiety about the dystopian future that eeks ever closer to our world.  Oh, and I got a bird feeder that has been very popular with the local goldfinches. Sometimes I get four of them on there at once, which is an indescribable thrill!

    For those of you that enjoy painting or always thought you might, now is the perfect time to unleash your artistic beast.  Toy blogger OG Spanky Stokes and Strange Cat Toys have just released the Stroll DIY vinyl figure that is just begging for you to customize. Standing give and a half inches tall, this blank canvas comes in a limited glow in the dark version as well as basic white and at just $30 and $25 respectively, and is a great gateway to toy art superstardom.  Pick one up now by visiting https://www.strangecattoys.com

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

STRASZNY ČUDOVIT Solo Show from Horrible Adorables at Sally Centigrade

 


    When I'm not watching Karen freak out videos my other preferred method of online entertainment is without a doubt Babushka memes.  I've never owned an Adidas track suit and don't have any relatives from there, but the nuances of Slavic life resonate deep in my soul.  For those unfamiliar, here are two of my recent favorites:



   Genius, right?  Maybe they resonate with me because I grew up down south and there really isn't much difference.  So imagine how peaked my interest was when I heard Horrible Adorables based an entire art show off of Slavic fairy tales.  And as you can see from the first photo they made tiny little Babushkas, who just like my southern grandma are known for ensuring you eat constantly any time you are visiting.  I have never once been to her house where she didn't say I looked too skinny and immeadiately produced a five course meal.  Afterwards I could be laying on the ground, stomach near to bursting and she would put desert on the floor next to me.  She's nearly 100 years old, so she must be on to something there.  

   The show is on display now at Sally Centigrade in Colorado and the remaining pieces can be had by visiting their website at https://www.sallycentigrade.com.




Monday, September 14, 2020

Gizzard Mutant Chicken Kaiju from Figurehead Vinyl

 


    I used to live in Virginia, more specifically the Eastern Shore area.  It's a peninsula that you would assume is part of Maryland if you were looking at a map and is known more to people as the place they drove through to get to Virginia Beach from the north.  As you're passing by on a hot summer day and are unlucky enough to not have air conditioning, you will be assaulted multiple times by the smells of chicken farms and processing plants.  The factories are a mixture of raw bird parts and that special juice that leaks from the back of garbage trucks.  In the world of odors, they are merely offensive and certainly not something you would go out of your way to experience.  The places they raise the actual chickens, however, emit a brand of funk that should be arrested and charged with attempted murder.  Those birds that are destined for a bucket of original recipe expell noxious droppings that will make you wish for the delicate bouquet of week old corpse just to clear your palate.  I grew up near it and it still inspires me to expel my guts when I get a whiff.  Anybody down for 25 cent wing night?

    Miscreation Toys and NastyPLT have teamed up to form a new endeavor known as Figurehead Vinyl and their first release is the mutant chicken, Gizzard.  You don't have to worry about what sauce will pair best with your nuggets because Gizzard will be dunking you in his favorite flavors .  Standing ten and a half inches tall and featuring removable bulging eyes and a little bird omake, this freak of nature is available now for $145 by visiting https://figureheadvinyl.bigcartel.com/.  Might wanna hide that air fryer before he shows up in the mail.



Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Evil Ape Fink from MCA x UVD Toys

 

   No need to wrap this Evil Ape Fink in an emergency blanket, because though he looks a little hypothermic he is in fact living his best life.  Though not at smart as Dr. Manhattan and maybe slightly less adorable than a Smurf, he's loading up on potassium and looking for a good time. And I heard they're making an Avatar sequel, so I'm sure he could get some work as an extra.  Fun fact:  I may be the only person alive to have never seen Avatar  nor do I have any desire too.  It's been too long and I've already moved on, kinda like when a band releases an album before I decided to pick up their previous one.  I can't just go and get the old one now, it make me feel weird.  

  MCA's signature character returns in his third iteration for UVD Toys, this time as a Tenacious Toys exclusive.  Limited to 100 pieces, this four inch vinyl figure will be available starting Thursday, September 10th at noon est.  You can welcome him into your life for $60 only at www.tenacioustoys.com.  


Friday, August 28, 2020

Cthulhu Idol Soft Vinyl Debut from The Cryptocurium

 


    Ol H.P. Lovecraft never lived long enough to see his work become as insanely influential as it did, and while any mention of him now almost requires you to denounce who he was as a person, it's hard to picture so much of what many of us love without his stories.  His greatest creation was the slumbering god Cthulhu, who lies at the bottom of the ocean waiting for the moment when he will rise and drive humanity to madness.  He is secretly who you've all been praying to when you've been hoping for 2020 to end already, so don't be surprised when he takes you quite literally.  You have to be careful what you ask for when you're within earshot of the old ones, as sarcasm wasn't a thing until long after their prominence.  

    The Cryptocurium makes some of the best resin figures out there featuring horror films, halloween, and of course Mr. Lovecraft.  This is their first foray into the world of soft vinyl and nothing would be a more appropriate debut then a story accurate statue of Cthulhu himself.  Available in a blank translucent green and as a tri colored glow in the dark marble, they will retail for $55 and $75 respectively, or a special price of $110 for both.  They'll be up for grabs today, Friday the 28th, at 6pm eastern time at this link.    

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Vote for Me in the Clutter Magazine Canbot Competition

 


    The most important vote in any American's life is coming up in November, but that doesn't mean you can't get a jumpstart on democracy right now.  Clutter Magazine is holding a design competition right now to be a part of the first ever Canbot blind box series and I have two designs up for vote.  You can see pictures of them below and I would love it for you to help me out by visiting www.cluttermagazine.com and voting for the one you like best.  You can vote once per day, which is the perfect thing for you to do while you're hiding in the bathroom at work.  




Tuesday, August 18, 2020

The Toy Chronicle Exclusive Lil Qwiky 5oz Canbot by Czee13 x Quiccs



 If you think I don't have a story about the New York Knicks, who inspired the colorway of this latest Lil Qwiky, then you have underestimated me my friend.  Buckle up while I take you on a journey back to the 1993 NBA playoffs.  When I was a wee little Chris I liked basketball, probably because I was tall and if you're taller than everyone else in your class then you are destined to be picked first no matter your skill level. And I was all about Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls so naturally when they played the Knicks me and my best bro hunkered down to watch.  We were at his house and before the game we got the brilliant idea to run around outside and throw hunks of dirt at each other.  Why? Because teenage boys make no damn sense and we have no concept of our own mortality.  It was dark out and he lobbed some god forsaken mass of earth towards me and I never saw it until it hit me in the head.  It hurt like the dickens (I lived down south, everything hurt like the dickens) but apart from the headache I thought I was fine.  Until the warmth cascaded down my face and I realized I was bleeding.  We both ran into the house; my friend scared to death cause he was afraid his creepy uncle he lived with would kill him, and me scared that I'd have to go and get stitches.  A ruined towel and and a lot of pressure later, I managed to stop the geiser in my forehead, we ate some chicken nuggets cooked in grease that had seen the Civil War, and the Bulls went on to win the championship.  'Merica.

   That story and the subsequent scar in my hairline will last way longer than this Toy Chronicle exclusive figure from Czee13 and Quiccs.  Some of you will rather easily guarantee yourself one of these 100 figures produced by Clutter Magazine.  Others of you will destroy your keyboards trying to secure one when they officially release on August 20th.  There are a few different ways you can ensure you're not forced to pay eBay prices for this insanely popular figure and you can find out all about them by clicking this link.