Friday, August 28, 2020

Cthulhu Idol Soft Vinyl Debut from The Cryptocurium

 


    Ol H.P. Lovecraft never lived long enough to see his work become as insanely influential as it did, and while any mention of him now almost requires you to denounce who he was as a person, it's hard to picture so much of what many of us love without his stories.  His greatest creation was the slumbering god Cthulhu, who lies at the bottom of the ocean waiting for the moment when he will rise and drive humanity to madness.  He is secretly who you've all been praying to when you've been hoping for 2020 to end already, so don't be surprised when he takes you quite literally.  You have to be careful what you ask for when you're within earshot of the old ones, as sarcasm wasn't a thing until long after their prominence.  

    The Cryptocurium makes some of the best resin figures out there featuring horror films, halloween, and of course Mr. Lovecraft.  This is their first foray into the world of soft vinyl and nothing would be a more appropriate debut then a story accurate statue of Cthulhu himself.  Available in a blank translucent green and as a tri colored glow in the dark marble, they will retail for $55 and $75 respectively, or a special price of $110 for both.  They'll be up for grabs today, Friday the 28th, at 6pm eastern time at this link.    

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Vote for Me in the Clutter Magazine Canbot Competition

 


    The most important vote in any American's life is coming up in November, but that doesn't mean you can't get a jumpstart on democracy right now.  Clutter Magazine is holding a design competition right now to be a part of the first ever Canbot blind box series and I have two designs up for vote.  You can see pictures of them below and I would love it for you to help me out by visiting www.cluttermagazine.com and voting for the one you like best.  You can vote once per day, which is the perfect thing for you to do while you're hiding in the bathroom at work.  




Tuesday, August 18, 2020

The Toy Chronicle Exclusive Lil Qwiky 5oz Canbot by Czee13 x Quiccs



 If you think I don't have a story about the New York Knicks, who inspired the colorway of this latest Lil Qwiky, then you have underestimated me my friend.  Buckle up while I take you on a journey back to the 1993 NBA playoffs.  When I was a wee little Chris I liked basketball, probably because I was tall and if you're taller than everyone else in your class then you are destined to be picked first no matter your skill level. And I was all about Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls so naturally when they played the Knicks me and my best bro hunkered down to watch.  We were at his house and before the game we got the brilliant idea to run around outside and throw hunks of dirt at each other.  Why? Because teenage boys make no damn sense and we have no concept of our own mortality.  It was dark out and he lobbed some god forsaken mass of earth towards me and I never saw it until it hit me in the head.  It hurt like the dickens (I lived down south, everything hurt like the dickens) but apart from the headache I thought I was fine.  Until the warmth cascaded down my face and I realized I was bleeding.  We both ran into the house; my friend scared to death cause he was afraid his creepy uncle he lived with would kill him, and me scared that I'd have to go and get stitches.  A ruined towel and and a lot of pressure later, I managed to stop the geiser in my forehead, we ate some chicken nuggets cooked in grease that had seen the Civil War, and the Bulls went on to win the championship.  'Merica.

   That story and the subsequent scar in my hairline will last way longer than this Toy Chronicle exclusive figure from Czee13 and Quiccs.  Some of you will rather easily guarantee yourself one of these 100 figures produced by Clutter Magazine.  Others of you will destroy your keyboards trying to secure one when they officially release on August 20th.  There are a few different ways you can ensure you're not forced to pay eBay prices for this insanely popular figure and you can find out all about them by clicking this link.  



Thursday, August 13, 2020

Rotofugi Exclusive Evil Ape Fink from MCA x UVD Toys

 


    I always find it funny when I go into a major chain store that sells toys and something will be marked "limited edition" and their idea of limited is that 15,000 of them exist.  Fifteen thousand!  Nope, if you want limited, 50 is way more like it.  That means you and 49 other people around the world are in a special club and are the only ones able to enjoy the feeling that owning a special figure offers.  Of course I myself never buy anything strictly by how rare it is, but it is a nice bonus.  It's like being the caretaker of a sacred object that you were entrusted with by an ancient god and then you absorb its powers and become the only one that can stop an evil doer from realizing his dream of global domination.  Yup, it's just like that.

    I didn't just pull the number 50 out of thin air in the paragraph above, as it is the actual amount of exclusive Evil Ape Finks that Rotofugi will have on sale this Monday.  This is the second colorway of the figure from MCA and UVD Toys and the only place to get them when they become available August 17th at 10am central time will be www.rotofugi.com.  


Friday, August 7, 2020

Space Diesel Edition Budfoot from Wondergoblin





   The legalization of recreational marijuana in New Jersey will be on this year's presidential election ballot and I cannot wait to vote "yes".  My vote has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the public at large who need something to calm their damn nerves.  I was hoping that they would just push legislation through during the pandemic, because people are driving me insane with their amplified brand of crazy.  Dealing with the public has been a challenge and things would be so much easier for everyone if they ate some electric brownies and watched a Twilight Zone marathon instead of them trying to educate me with their bunk science about the virus when they know good and well the last thing they read by a doctor was Green Eggs and Ham. I'm triggered.

    Let Budfoot lead the way to inner peace and a mindfulness of the world around you.  Or just let him get you lifted so you forget about the turd show 2020 has turned out to be.  Either way, Wondergoblin's gigantic weed god has gotten all cosmic in this latest version.  He features paint that shifts between purple and blue which you probably won't sit and stare at for hours on end as you contemplate your place in the vastness of the universe.  Available this Saturday (August 8) at noon eastern time, he can be your new spirit guide for $200 plus shipping.  Snag one at www.wondergoblin.com




Thursday, August 6, 2020

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Cotton Candy Ghostbear from Luke Chueh x Munky King




    I find myself thankful for the little things in this challenging world we live in.  I'm thankful for the monarch butterflies whose caterpillars I get to watch grow up as the devour our milkweed.  I'm thankful that wearing a mask has let me be completely unconcerned with whether or not I have crumbs stuck in my beard after lunch.  And I'm thankful that my house is not haunted by freeloading ghosts who think just because they're dead they don't have to pay rent.  The last thing I need is some spectral form waking me up in the middle of the night by flickering my lights and thinking that electricity doesn't cost money.  I don't know what marketable skills you have once you cross over, but if you're going to disrupt my household you better contribute.  Now I would certainly accept being haunted by any ghost that wants to clean in exchange for room and board.  How great would that be?  You come home from a long day at work and you can relax because the dead Victorian lady did all of the chores while you were out.  If any dead Victorian ladies are reading this I am currently hiring.

   Luke Chueh and Munky King have released a bunch of these vinyl Ghost Bear figures, but none have looked so delicious.  This Cotton Candy edition stands at two and a half inches tall and is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys.  And while it may not sweep up or torment your enemies, this guy will add some color to your collection while signaling that you are a friend to all wandering spirits.  You can get one for yourself for only $30 when they go on sale tomorrow,  August 7th, at noon eastern time from www.tenacioustoys.com.