Friday, March 29, 2019

Mecha Brain Crawler Lottery from Mechavirus x Plaseebo

     At my day job we make a lot of money during the summer from people losing their glasses in the ocean.  The waves rise up and snatch them unexpectedly from the faces of the visually impaired, forcing them to seek me out for emergency replacements.  By my calculations in another few decades there will be a sea wall made of Ray Bans that will protect the coast of New Jersey from the effects of erosion.  That or there's a lot of sea creatures who have no idea how expensive all that trash is that they're playing with.

    Speaking of, I hear a lot people also lose their cell phones in the water, which to me has far more dire consequences.  Could you imagine you're just chilling, minding your own fish business, then all of a sudden you have access to the internet?  Being not so smart you scroll aimlessly until you learn that all your buddies who get caught by fisherman aren't actually going on vacation but are instead being cooked and eaten by lung breathers.  With your new found knowledge you rally all of the other sea creatures, who then refine their Googling abilities, learn to make weaponry by watching History Channel reruns, and the next thing you know the fish are deep frying us.

    Plaseebo and Mechavirus have teamed up to give us a glimpse of what our future overlords could look like.  This thing is so A-M-A-Z-I-N-G I had to spell it out like I didn't want the dog to know what I was saying.  It's a completely one of a kind piece so if you want to own the mechanized, light up cephalopod here's how you can enter the lottery for purchase:

Send the following information to :

1. name

2. shipping address

3. country

4. telephone number

5. PayPal email address

6. Instagram ID

     This figure will be $350 plus shipping.  The lottery closes on Sunday, March 31.

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Porcelain Royal Tea from Lunartik

    I'm not much of a tea dude when it comes to choosing a beverage.  I have orange juice in the morning, usually a soda with lunch, a ton of water during the day, and another soda with dinner.  The water is to keep any kidney stones I manufacture moving along the pipeline before they get too big and are like a husky bro on a dry water slide.  I like the taste of soda, which explains the pudgier aspects of my 200 lb physique.  I'm only slightly addicted to the caffeine, which always reminds me if I haven't had any that day by dropping an invisible guillotine through the right side of my skull.  My relationship with Dr. Pepper is quite abusive.

    I've missed seeing these little guys from Lunartik because they remind me of the robots from the movie Batteries Not Included.  You want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside without having to catch a stomach virus?  Go watch that film.  Lunartik is doing something a little different this time in that instead of the tried and true plastic medium he usually works with, these 8 inch teas are made of porcelain, a material so fancy that even the name sounds regal.  

    This piece is limited to only 50 world wide but here's the catch: he's doing a preorder for them to gather enough interest before sending them to production.  You want one for yourself?  Just email .  He's already filled half the slots, so get to emailing if you want one.  

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Basuritas Vinyl Toys from Mishka x Kalaka Toys x 3DRetro

   My Saturday was jam packed:  first I went to work, then I came home to eat dinner, then I went back to work but at a different place than the first time cause I'm trying to make that Wrestlemania money.  The struggle is real, but even if I wasn't working my hands to the bones I still live 3,000 miles away from 3DRetro and the killer Basuritas release party they threw.  So while many of us were unable to attend don't get too depressed, because the very figures the shindig was celebrating are now available online.   These vinyl toys were created by Kalaka Toys and Mishka and are heavily inspired by Garbage Pail Kids (Basuritas were the Argentinian version of those wonderfully gross trading cards).

     Each four pack is blind bagged and will come in either red, green, black, or glow in the dark.   So even if you find yourself at work, go take one of those on the clock bathroom breaks and order a set or two on your phone.  Pooping on company time is the best way to get back at your employer for all the psychological damage they have caused you without the expense and hassle of having to hire a lawyer.  

     These are available now at

Friday, March 22, 2019

Glow in the Dark Mythos in My Pocket Mini Figures from HH Toys

    Name an author more inspirational than H.P Lovecraft.  Go on, I'll wait.  If anyone said Nicholas Sparks I will be driving to your house to smack you about the head and face.  Lovecraft has inspired countless books, songs, nightmares, etc with his tales of horror and the only thing that sucks about it is that he didn't live long enough to see it.  Dude was too genius for his time, but his legacy lives on in everyone who has ever been driven to create based on his work.   Oh, look at what we have here, just the very thing I was talking about.  Weird.

    Mythos in My pocket are tiny portable versions of some of H.P.'s most famous characters (and even one of the author himself).  Created by HH Toys, these ultra spooky glow in the dark versions will be available on Tuesday, March 26th, at 4pm eastern time exclusively from

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

"Dynamos and Whirligigs" Solo Show from Horrible Adorables at PIQ Hudson Yards

    There are many ways you can open a brand new store.  You could have a local radio station stand out front blaring pop music and giving away concert tickets to performers I would have to Google search to identify. You could give away a year's worth of chicken sandwiches, or dress someone up like Pikachu and give them a sign to spin while dancing dangerously close to traffic.  Any of those things are sure to get you a fair amount of attention, but if you're opening up a designer toy and collectibles store you gotta try a bit harder than a new place to buy mattresses would.

     PIQ is set to open their new location at Hudson Yards in New York City and they are going big with husband and wife art duo Horrible Adorables.  They are hosting a show entitled "Dynamos and Whirligigs", featuring all new whimsical creations.  This is also the first time, I believe, that they will debut their brand new 3D sculpted and printed figure that you can see going for a balloon ride in the photo above.  Unlike myself, they are obviously not terrified of heights and thus able to enjoy their felt dirigible without working themselves into a bowel twisting panic.  I feel I've said too much.

    The show opens 5-7pm this Friday, March 15th on the 4th floor of the Shops at Hudson Yards ( 33rd & 10th, NYC).

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

"Rotten Lime" Sofubi Collection from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

    My heart is racing as I type this, and it's not just because my blood pressure and cholesterol have been a little out of whack.  It's my love for beautifully marbled sofubi.  And as much as I adore the plastic, I love equally the work of Splurrt, especially when it comes to that little dude Usir you see above.  Lulubell Toys will be making available quite a few pieces from Splurrt in this Rotten Lime colorway this Saturday and I have my eye on that little goat.  He even comes with an alternate head, which you can never really have to many of especially when your sinuses lose all sense of control.  That set will run you $65, and if you scroll down further I'll price out each one of these pieces for you so you can prepare your wallet for the damage you're about to inflict on it this Saturday, March 9th, at 9 am pacific time.  All of these are exclusive to  

Cadaver Kid: $65

Met Death Golem: $165

Cinema Monster: $140

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Siamese Kittypillar from Casey Weldon x 3A

    Our cat Jorah has been on this kick where any time we come home with groceries he makes a bee line out the front door and onto our porch.  Once he gets there he crouches down real low and I swear I can hear him say "oh damn, oh damn" as he realizes how bad he just messed up.  His epiphany is usually the result of me yelling at him and even though he knows he is in trouble he still tries to check out all he can before I scoop him up.  To try and stop him we have begun to build a shield out of our grocery bags and enter the house like we're storming a misbehaving inmate in cell block D.  We push him back into the house to subdue his intentions and thus far have not needed to use tear gas to keep him from escaping, though I can assure you it's on the table if need be.

   You never have to worry about Casey Weldon's Kittypillar trying to escape, because he's made of plastic.  If he did run outside when you opened your front door you have much bigger problems because your house is haunted.  This Siamese version is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys and is available for preorder right now by visiting They're limited to only 100 pieces worldwide, cost $90 each, and are produced by the toy wizards at 3A.