Tuesday, January 31, 2017

The Woodcutter from Pocket Watch Toys

    This right here is an invention that could change the world.  Forget all that stuff about robots taking over the world and enslaving mankind because a wood stove that can follow you around and keep you warm would probably win the Nobel prize or whatever it is they give you for being a genius.  You could take him everywhere with you, like when you're waiting in line to buy the next iPhone, or if someone thinks it would be a great idea to take a walk through the woods when it's forty degrees out and you both end up covered in snot and unable to feel your legs (I said I was sorry).  And if you were to use him in the house all you would have to do would be to have stove pipe hookups in every room so the smoke could safely escape.  See, I'm already making design improvements so I'm obviously now a partner in this venture.  Send me my check.

    Pocket Watch Toys is the creator of this little resin guy who is ready to keep you toasty no matter what the conditions.  Even during the height of summer, which is something you'll have to talk with him about because he gets kinda bummed and feels like he's not fulfilling his potential.  Just show him where the dishwasher is and give him a new purpose until it gets cold again. Or stop worrying about the feelings of an inanimate object because right now he is just a toy and merely a promise of how awesome the robot revolution will be.

    Pick one up for yourself and start dreaming about endless coziness from http://pocketwatchtoys.co.uk.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Rusty Blue RST2 from DMS

   No the title of this post is not written in a code that Donald Trump's minions can't read.  Though hopefully by saying that I end up on some watch list and my readership increases due to the FBI traffic.  I think they would find me delightful.

   This is the second version of the RST2 robot dude from DMS.  He's looking kinda blue and kinda rusty, but space travel is hard on a droid.  You can give him a new leisure filled life by welcoming him into your home when he goes on sale later today.  This little guy is limited to 15 pieces and can be yours at 7:30 gmt from www.dmsdesignertoys.com.

Andy Warhol Masterpiece Dunny from Kidrobot

   Contrary to what you may think, I don't have professional athlete type money laying around.  I know right, shocks me too.  You would think that making jokes on the internet would be a limo ride down easy street, but America is a backwards place that rewards the wrong sort of people.  I don't dwell on it though, as I've learned to adapt to still make my house look like someone with a lot of money and neurological disorders lives there.

   Kidrobot is making easy to be a baller on a budget with this beautiful Masterpiece  eight inch Dunny from Andy Warhol.  This is the first of a few of these and they're kicking things off with his Brillo motif.  It comes packaged in a special window box so you can keep it minty fresh without having to deprive yourself of its magnificence, is limited to 500 pieces galaxy wide, and will be available starting today (Friday, January 27th) from www.kidrobot.com.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

New Apparel from Splurrt x BogxSquad

    I used to work at a clothing store and the dangerous thing about it was that over time the t-shirts would start looking better and better to me.  Stuff I would normally never buy would after a month or so wear me down especially when I thought about how much of a discount I was getting on them.  The moral of the story is try and work somewhere that you have zero interest in the product or risk having a basement full of crap that you can't even remember liking.  People at the sewage treatment plant don't have this problem.

    Now these are the type of shirts I would wear until the graphic was barely hanging on.  Splurrt and BogxSquad have collaborated on a limited release of two shirts and a trucker hat featuring his menacing Cinema Monster.  Each one is a limited edition of 30 and can be obtained from http://bogsquad.bigcartel.com.  

    You can also pick up a BogxSquad's latest "Kaiju Space Death" tee, which sounds like a really awesome Japanese death metal David Bowie cover band.  I wish that were a real thing.

"Waiting for My J Man" Harley Quinn Statue from Mondo

    Look how beautiful this is.  If you didn't know better you would think that it's just a cute girl into dressing like a weirdo and listening to her records with nothing but possibility in her eyes.  The world is hers and she is gonna live life to it's fullest, with nothing standing in her way.  But instead you know it's everyone's favorite sociopath, waiting for her equally psychotic boyfriend to come home.  You'd also know that because this statue is titled "Waiting for My J Man", which kind of gave it all away right there.  

    Harley Quinn has never looked so fetching as she does in this work from Mondo.  Just look at that face:

    She sure is puuuuuurrty and she's available for preorder right now in two different forms.  The first one is $250 and is identical to the one you see at the top there.  The second one is a mere $10 more and features a collection of records that you can scatter about her as you wish.  Standing (or sitting) at nearly 10 inches tall, she can be yours by visiting https://mondotees.com.


Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Halcon Falcon Series 4 from Argonaut Resins

    I don't get how falconry works.  From what it looks like you just have to get a big leather glove, stand on top of a hill with your arm outstretched, and wait for a bird of prey to land on you.  Then you put a little mask on him while the bird is all "crap, I can't believe I fell for that after making fun of Mitch for the same thing."  Then you have an awesome falcon that is bonded to you for life and is sworn to do your bidding.  Think of the hijinks that will ensue!  Of course I could have just done a a Google search to learn about how it works but for one, I like the way I presented it better and two, the Internet is filled with those alternative facts and I'm not looking to be made a fool.

    The bird is indeed the word when Argonaut Resins releases series 4 of his Halcon Falcon resin figures tonight.  There's 10 different ones, they each stand nearly 3 inches tall, and they go on sale Tuesday, January 24th at 9pm eastern time only at http://argonautresins.bigcartel.com.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Unicorn Kiss from Lora Zombie x Eyes on Walls


    Sometimes I look at deer with their huge antlers and I wonder if they feel frustrated by having such things protrude from their skull.  I can't walk though the woods without getting hit in the face with a branch or having to turn abruptly to investigate a strange noise behind me, so imagine doing that with the equivalent of a chandelier on your head.  As cool as they look it just seems like they would bang into everything and things would constantly get stuck to them.  If unicorns were real that horn would probably get old just as fast.  They'd have to get each other to help remove all the stuff they skewered throughout the day.  This post has suddenly taken a dark turn.

   If unicorns were real they would placate their horn issue by kissing, like, all the time.  Seriously, Lisa Frank never prepared you with her neon notebook covers for how much tongue action these things require.  They kiss all day, they kiss all night, they kiss during family functions and other times where you think they maybe should just give it a rest.  A little conversation never killed anybody, guys.

   Lora Zombie and Eyes on Walls are pleased to release her first ever vinyl toy, appropriately titled Unicorn Kisses.  They come in four different colors, stand five inches tall, and are available right now for $25 each or as a set for $95 including a free sticker.  Get em all and let the whimsical love fest begin!  Whimsical Love Fest was the name of my first black metal band in high school, by the way.

Fortune Teller CNY Edition from Paul Shih

     Putting faces on delicious snack food would probably be a great campaign to get people to eat better.  You could put all sorts of food critters in one of those ASPCA commercials with the sad music and everyone would be too heartbroken to ever eat cupcakes again because their pathetic little expressions are forever burned into your brain.  Not that it would stop me, because I love cookies too much to let their crying eyes put me off of desert.  I'm getting hungry thinking about it.

    Paul Shih is getting back in the toy game with these adorable Fortune Teller cookie dudes.  These are painted up to celebrate the upcoming Chinese New Year and wil be available Wednesday, January 25th at 2pm pacific time.  They are limited to only five pieces and priced at $45 each plus shipping.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

New WWE Pop Vinyl from Funko

    Ooooooooh I love me some wrasslin.  I'm on a sports entertainment high note, because in a few weeks I'm gonna see NXT two nights in a row and I just found out Ring of Honor and New Japan Pro Wrestling are going to be in Philadelphia in May, which will be amazing.  I'm already too pumped and may have to go hit a neighbor with a steel chair.  

    Before I go and commit felony assault I'll tell you about the newest WWE superstars to be immortalized in Pop Vinyl form by Funko.  There's Kane, which I would have preferred the full mask  version, but that's just me being a nerd, and Shawn Michaels, who is to blame for me wanting to deliver "Sweet Chin Music" to every irritating soul I come across.  Believe me, they deserve it.

    These are both Walgreens exclusives so start looking for your nearest one now.  

Red Glitter King Negora from Max Toy Company

    Cats are already pretty sure they rule the world, so imagine how inflated their egos would be if they were also sparkly.  They would take it as proof of their divinity and probably make us clean up their waste, or get up in the middle of the night to play with them, or any number of other activities that makes us their servants.  Wait a second...

    I love my kitties though, probably more than is deemed socially acceptable, but I think they're the best.  And there's no better way to honor them than by filling your home with plastic statues in their likeness such as this King Negora from Max Toy Co.  This 10 inch tall kitty is shiny like a diamond and available for pre order right now for $150.  Secure yourself one before they're all gone by visiting www.maxtoyco.com.  

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Magma Coolie Gnaw from Plaseebo

    This dude is looking swole, like he's about to run Hulkamania wild on you!!!!  There's nothing you can do, because once the Magma Coolie Gnaw has flexed on you it's time to throw down.  This beast from Plaseebo can be your eternal sparring partner when he goes on sale today (Wednesday, January 18th) from www.plaseebo.net.  I hope you've been saying your prayers an eating your vitamins.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Prisoner from Luke Chueh X Munky King

    Is there a more fitting toy for our times?  Half of us are on some type of medication, the other half probably should be, and we're all held captive by the evil pharmaceutical industry that not only controls our government but our very ability to exist.  It's not all petting kittens and sipping lemonade here folks; there are hard truths to be found on these pages.

    Luke Chueh and Munky King are set to release The Prisoner today at noon pacific time.  It's a little bear inside a little bottle of Vicodin and it's fun for the whole family!!!  On a serious note I'm glad to see a designer toy really tackle something heavy and not just rely on being a cutesy character.  Not that I don't enjoy that stuff, but I also like art that is challenging and at times uncomfortable and I think that is an area that is desperately underserved in our little niche corner of the world.  This feels like something I would pay admission to go see rather than something I could actually own myself.  But I could and so can you later today (Tuesday, January 17th) at www.munkyking.com.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Dark Cosmos Edition Gacha Set from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

   Look at these tiny Paul Kaijus!!!!!!!!  Aren't they just the sweetest little things?  This is known as the Dark Cosmos Edition of his popular gacha series and speaking of outer space I think it's high time the aliens went ahead and revealed themselves and invade our planet for better or worse.  Would we even bat an eyelash at this point if a UFO landed on the White House lawn, or would it just be a labeled as "fake news" and brushed aside like everything else is?  Or maybe they're already here and they're much crueler than we could have ever anticipated.  I already feel like we're gathered at the base of a space craft, waiting for the door to open and reveal whatever our fate will be.  Maybe I should skip the next Twilight Zone marathon.

    Toy Art Gallery will have this set of critters available beginning tomorrow, Friday the 13th, at noon pacific time.  You better get them now before we are all forced to work in the salt mines on a far away planet that doesn't have WiFi.

New Wootmumski and Wootkowski Figures from Scott Wilkowski x Woot Bear

    I attempted to say the title of this post out loud and thank God I was home alone otherwise my wife may have called an ambulance thinking I was having a stroke.  I did get a little light headed, but I'm no worse for it so let's soldier on.

   Scott Wilkowski and Woot Bear are poised to release what looks like a veritable butt ton (it's part of the metric system) of new little mascot dudes.  Not only will there be the standard one featuring both solid and infected editions, but this will also mark the debut of a mummified version who will also come in the previously mentioned forms.  These will be available in their store in San Francisco and online beginning tomorrow (Friday, January 13th) at noon pacific time.  

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Scott Tolleson's Pipken Labbit from Kidrobot

    I haven't been wearing glasses for very long and actually I see ok without them, or so I thought.  For years I've just had an astigmatism in my right eye and a meager prescription in my left, but I wanted to be able to see as clearly as possible and they do make a noticeable difference.  Then a few weeks ago I had an eye exam and I learned I have a VERTICAL IMBALANCE!!!!!!  I'm completely flawed!  One eye has just gone and done his own thing and decided to see things higher than the other one does, like they totally have never heard my talk about teamwork that I give the cats every so often.  And I never noticed it, but I tilt my head slightly to the right as some unconscious hillbilly fix to try and correct the problem.  I still haven't gotten my new glasses yet, so who knows if the entire world has been a visual lie my whole life or not.  I'm about to go and emotionally eat lunch like I'm main eventing Wrestlemania.

    Speaking of glasses, look what we have here!  A couple of brand new Labbits from the folks at Kidrobot.  This time Scott Tolleson has worked his argyle magic on Frank Kozik's little bunny friends and turned them into a couple of nerds, which is not a derogatory term at all, unless being incredibly smart and making tons of money and having good fashion sense is something to be frowned upon.  I do prefer a good flannel to a sweater, but I'm open to new ideas.  

    Both are available right now at www.kidrobot.com, with the pink one being their online exclusive.  


The Electro Doublethink Night Gamer from Plaseebo

    You know Plaseebo is the king of all nightmare toys when he can take something that used to have two heads, pare it down to a reasonable amount of one, and it be thrice as scary as before.  A true monster mash, he combined his cute yet parasitic-looking Night Gamer with a Doublethink body and filled it with all kinds of icky things.  The creepy contents of the figure could be a great commentary on the darkness than man possesses in his heart hat is only visible when illuminated from within, or they could just be because bugs freak people out.  Not that they bother me,  I'm only scared of change and lunch meat that's been in the refrigerator for more than four days.  

    This one of a kind figure will be available on Thursday, January 12th, at http://plaseebo.net/.  

Oooooooooh look at all the blinky things!

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

The Sucklord Has Bugs

    When we look back at the work of the Sucklord, will these be the pieces that speak most to art enthusiasts?  Will these be the ones in which he captured life in Metropolis in its rawest form, thus stirring the emotions of both those who've experienced it and those for which it is a foreign concept?  Would you believe me if I told you that I don't even drink?

    The Sucklord will one day be regarded as the genius we all know he is and by then his work will be unaffordable.  So the time to invest is now, when just one trip to donate some plasma could set you up with either one of these beauties.  And I hear they give you juice and cookies too!  

Monday, January 9, 2017

Josh Mayhem's "Blown Away" 100% Bearbrick Series 1

    It's that time of year again where I get to complain about the rigors of shoveling snow.  I spent a small portion of yesterday digging out our cars, then spent a longer portion taking a nap so that my heart didn't explode through my rib cage.  I like the snow when it's coming down and I can safely watch it from the comfort of my living room, but having to shovel it or drive in it kinda ruins the good parts. And I don't have any entrepreneurial neighbor kids that are armed with their parent's shovels and looking to make money.  They're all lazy little bums.  Oh, and their music sucks too!  This now completes my old man rant for today.

    Josh Mayhem never has to shovel snow because he lives in California.  They do have earthquakes and wildfires though, so I guess it evens out.  When he's not battling uncontrollable blazes or hiding out in doorways to avoid falling debris, he's making toys that look like they're having the color blown right off of them.  His latest series involve 100% Bearbricks and you can buy yourself one of these beauties tomorrow (which is Tuesday the 10th) at 10am pacific time from www.joshmayhem.com.  They are limited to 24 pieces, sold blind box style, and will probably not last as long as it took you to read this.  

Friday, January 6, 2017

Blind Boxed Madballs Series from Kidrobot

    You know what's the best?  Since I was a kid with baseball cards and now with toys, there is nothing better than piling up a cases worth of something and opening them all up.  It's like deciding that Christmas Day isn't enough and you are recreating the feeling of tearing into presents whenever you want.   Set the tone for the new year by unwrapping a stack of these vinyl Madballs from Kidrobot.  All the classic characters are included and each comes with a little display stand to seamlessly fill in the spaces of your collection.  Until your cats find out that they're round and would be fun to throw down the stairs.  Believe me, they will find out.

  They're available right now at www.kidrobot.com and wherever designer toys are sold.  

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

The Clinical Clearance from Tenacious Toys

    It's clinical! It's systematic!  It's down right precise!  It's The Tenacious Toys Clinical Clearance Sale!!!!!!!  

     There's nothing like saving money and getting cool stuff that you want.  America was pretty much founded on those principals, and a couple of others that escape me right now, but that's the important one anyway.  Right now everything that is part of the sale is 25% off by using the code CLINICAL, and each week through the end of the month a new code will get sent to email subscribers and the discount will be even bigger.  You could try your luck and hope that the item you want will make it all the way to 55% off, but not every item will be so lucky.  Certain toys will be removed every week and of course some will sell out before coming close to the end.  So are you feeling lucky?  Head over to www.tenacioustoys.com, sign up for their email list, peruse everything that's on sale, and treat yo' self!   

Forces of Dorkness Has Opened the Archives

   Regret is the worst feeling in the world.  The worst emotional feeling, because there are plenty of physical feelings I would trade you for some regret any day of the year.  But do not tax yourself with mental burdens so early into this New Year and make past regrets vanish with the click of a mouse because Forces of Dorkness is giving you a second opportunity at pieces you may have missed out on.  Were you burdened with bills?  Kidnapped by Somali pirates?  In a coma?  It doesn't matter, because you can make up for lost time right now by checking out http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com and securing all those items you're still kicking yourself for passing up the first go round.  You'll have no one to blame but yourself and maybe Somali pirates, but if you got kidnapped by them twice I'm thinking that's your fault.  

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

The Hammy New Year Sale from Nathan Hamill

    I don't bother with New Year's resolutions because I don't like to set myself up for failure.  The chances of me going to the gym are practically zero, my dietary restrictions are already at a place where eating better would be hard to do, and main eventing Wrestlemania seems a little far fetched despite my delusions of grandeur.  But one thing all of us could resolve to do is be a little better with our money and Nathan Hamill is going to lead us down the road of fiscal responsibility by kicking off 2017 with a sale.

   Officially dubbed the Hammy New Year Sale (it took me a moment to realize it was a play on his last name and had nothing to do with a love of pork products) you'll be able to get those items of his you've been coveting while saving some cash in the process.  So not only will you have extra money, which is responsible, you'll also be able to surround you with things that make you happy, which is important for your mental well being.  It's like grabbing 2017 by the neck and whispering softly into it's ear "I am the captain now"!  

    Visit his site at http://nathanhamill.storenvy.com, use the code HAMMYNEWYEAR, an enjoy 20% off of everything your heart desires.  The sale is going on now through January 9th at 12pm pacific time, so don't procrastinate cause that would set a bad tone for the rest of the year.