Thursday, April 8, 2021

Evil Ape Fink "Stunt Fink" Edition from MCA x UVD Toys


     If you think that I have not been to Hell's Canyon, where Evel Knievel unsuccessfully launched himself in a rocket car from Idaho to Oregon, then you are about to feel mighty silly.  Because the fact of the matter is that not only have I gazed nervously over the rocky ledge of the deepest canyon in America, but I have also stood inside of it at the bottom.  I got to the bottom in a much slower, yet ultimately safer way than Evel Knievel did, because its hard to enjoy nature's majesty when your bones are in places no one intended.  And I'm always careful since the time I tried to jump over a little muddy creek in the woods and I fell gloriously, nearly breaking my arm in the process.  My wife still brings that up years later, so falling into Hell's Canyon was never an option.  

    For reasons that are beyond my comprehension, the American flag jumpsuit never caught on as standard office attire.  I think work satisfaction and productivity would skyrocket if you were allowed to feel that good about what you were wearing.  UVD Toys and MCA have decked out the Evil Ape Fink in said attire and frankly, the little guy has never looked better. This four inch titan of vinyl will be available to add to your collection when he's released this Friday, April 9th at noon eastern time.  He'll only be $60, which is way less than the copays my insurance would have charged if I had actually broken my arm.  

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Summoning Devil Kickstarter Campaign from The Spicy Donut

   



  While I certainly never agreed with his political views, ol' Charlie Daniels sure wrote a banger when it came to "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."  And while that song, for some reason, isn't a staple at wedding, or bar mitzvahs, or doctor's waiting rooms, its influence is readily apparent in this new vinyl figure from The Spicy Donut. I kinda wonder what I'm good enough at that I'd feel I could beat Satan in a challenge for my soul.  If he wants to square up in a battle of anxiety attacks or picky eating then by golly he better be ready to go home empty handed.  

   Striking a familiar lucky cat style pose, Summoning Devil has a contract for your soul in one hand and a sweet golden fiddle in the other, ready to crank out some crazy riffs.  While this may be one of the most amazing things I've seen in recent memory regarding vinyl toys, it will only come to life if you support the Kickstarter campaign happening now.  As of this post there are only 9 days left, and I know you've got those sweet Biden Bucks at the ready.  Check out the link here and support this sucker while there's still time.  


Wednesday, March 24, 2021

"Godzilla Blue" Y'arrruma Sofubi from PNL Toyworks

   


      I may or may not resemble this toy right now.  The combination of the pandemic and winter pushed me into a sloth-like state of my former self, leaving me to a more unhealthy relationship with food and television. For example, one of my wife's coworkers is from Ireland and gave us a quarter loaf of soda bread. Sharon brings it home and sets it down on the table next to my side of the couch and as the night progresses I am craving this thing pretty badly.  The problem is that she had already fallen asleep while watching tv and our smallest cat Daenerys had curled up on my lap.  Not wanting to wake either of them so I could cut a slice, I decided to just bite the equivalent directly from it.  It was delicious; her raisin to bread ratio was spot on and as it danced on my taste buds I thought a little more couldn't hurt. Before I knew it I all that was left was a wee tiny bit, which was too small to save, so I ate that too.  I wish my shame was as apparent as my waistline is right now.  

     PNL Toyworks is releasing my Rubenesque  kindred spirit this Thursday in a special Godzilla blue sofubi colorway.  Y'arrruma will be available in an edition of 10 expertly painted pieces and ultra limited run of 3 blank versions.  They'll be $35 and $20 respectively when they go on sale March 25th at 2pm eastern time only from https://www.pnltoyworks.com/.  




Thursday, March 18, 2021

Stormy Vault's Galaxy Show This Saturday

 


     Everything in the world is changing and I feel like the old man yelling at the kids to get off my damn lawn.  You know what I'm talking about; people are working from home, and I don't know when I'll ever be able to sneeze in anyone's mouth again, and everything exists only on the internet.  Actually, that last part is kinda nice, especially when it comes to conventions.  I do love going to conventions, or I think I remember loving it, but there are some aspects that make having them online way better.  There are no weird odors or sweaty bodies pressed up against you.  There are no lines, no travel expenses, and no convention center hot dogs that will alter your DNA by ingesting one.  

    Art shows have also gone almost exclusively online, which evens the playing field when it comes to being able to purchase incredible one of a kind pieces.  Stormy Vault is throwing one of these digital shindigs this Saturday (March 20) with a galaxy themed custom show.  Tons of customs will be available during their Facebook live streamed show from 8-10pm est.  It will be completely interactive and you can seee all the pieces and take part by checking out their Facebook page here.  

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Kryptonite GID Grumpy Coal from The Bots x UVD Toys x The Toy Chronicle

 


   Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!   If you're one of my readers I assume you're already way past drunk or about to be assigned a public defender, but like you're criminal record, this post will be here for you after you sober up.  

     You wouldnt know it by how I dress, but green is my favorite color.  I can't explain it, but it has been since I was a wee little lad and I'm nothing if not loyal.  So in the spirit of the holiday and my ride or die hue, I present to you this Kryptonite Grumpy Coal from The Bots and UVD Toys.  This displeased lump of vinyl is filled with so much negativity that it's even visible in the dark!  That's dedication to one's craft if I've ever seen it.  

    Measuring in at 2 inches tall and 2 inches wide, this version is limited to 100 pieces and exclusively available from The Toy Chronicle. Get one for yourself by checking out this link.  



Wednesday, March 10, 2021

"Strange Flower" Ushi-Oni from Cereal Box Toys x Tenacious Toys

 


    At my day job I was sitting across the desk from a customer when out of the corner of my eye I saw something descend from the ceiling.  This tiny little spider went full blown Mission Impossible and rappelled directly into her hair.  And when I say hair I mean she had a massive amount of curls that this little dude could get lost in and set up shop virtually undetected until the next time she shampooed.  Not knowing how she would react to a spider on her person and not wanting her to smack and kill it, I had to think quickly to save her dignity and his tiny life.  

"This is kinda weird but I need you to hold still for a second."

   I reached over and snatched the little spider out before he could find any prime real estate. Thankfully she wasn't upset when I showed it to her before putting him outside so he could run free and do whatever it is spiders dream of doing.  And that's why, should the zombie apocalype fall upon us, you should elect me as leader of your survival tribe. I can take decisive action while maintaining a level of compassion so desperately rare in the wasteland.  

    Had he been the same size or looked like the Ushi-Oni from Cereal Box Toys I may have been less inclined to help and more likely to have saved myself.  You're no longer a hero if you don't live long enough to make it to the medal ceremony at the end of the movie.  These Pokemon inspired arachnids are a super limited edition of three pieces and exclusive to Tenacious Toys.  Measuring ten inches wide by six inches tall, they will be $120 each when they go on sale Friday, March 12 at noon eastern time at www.tenacioustoys.com.


Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Cotton Candy Danger Dog Two Pack from Tenacious Toys

  

   There's not much better in the world than a dog or a cat, until you remember that there are TINY dogs and cats.  Oh my God I am overwhelmed by thoughts of baby animals of all sorts now, like wee baby goats, and the one adorable duckling that's always a little more distracted than the others and has to run real fast to catch up.  As rotten as human beings can be, these tiny little creatures never stop trying to help us achieve our most perfect selves.  I'm gonna need to wrap this up so I can watch videos from The Dodo the rest of the day and attempt to reach Nirvana.

     Tenacious Toys have a cute/fierce looking mascot that is known the world over and now you can bring him home with this special two pack.  You get one pup that stands 5 inches tall, and an oh-so-adorable little guy that stands 2.25 inches.  Only 50 of these Cotton Candy marbled sets were produced and can be yours for only $55. They were manufactured in the United States by Mile High Sofubi and will be available this Friday, February 26 at noon eastern time exclusively from www.tenacioustoys.com.

Thursday, February 18, 2021

An Onslaught of Intergalactic Sloths from Cop A Squat Toys

      


     Space freaks me out a little.  Not the idea that's it's there our that its infinite (please brain, do not contemplate that idea) but more or less that I don't want to go and realize I can't turn around and come back.  It's so difficult to get there that if I decide it's not for me after all I am completely stuck until whenever the return trip might be.  I've had this experience the few times I conned myself into getting on a roller coaster and the only thing that saved me from a fatal panic attack was that the ride ended after five minutes and whoever I was with bought me a present for my reluctant bravery.  I am not about to go to space and embarrass myself the way I almost did on the Scooby Doo roller coaster at King's Dominion.  


    There are many times, such as you might have guessed in the first paragraph, that the calm and collected demeanor of the sloth would come in handy for me.  The Sekijun from Cop A Squat Toys exudes a cool confidence needed for space travel.  Well at least his sloth persona does, as his alternate Stalagmite head has a level of distress I'm more familiar with.  There are three sets of five figures, with one of those being completely unique one off versions.  Bring some zen into your life when they go on sale this Saturday (February 20) at noon eastern time only from https://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com/.  Each comes with the aforementioned alternate head so you can change them based on your mood, or you could just leave it as a weird serial killer trophy.   That's probably what you'll do, you sicko.  




Thursday, February 4, 2021

Review: Shin-Cookiezilla from Bottleneck Gallery x Gabriel Marquez


    I can unequivocally, without question, assure you that this is the most ridiculously awesome thing I own.  Equal parts bad ass and absurd, Gabriel Marquez and Bottleneck Gallery have created the weirdest figure I have in my collection.  I love Shin Godzilla, and while my big takeaway from the movie was that a lot of bureaucracy is involved when responding to a giant murder lizard, I never would have connected him to everyone's favorite diabetic Muppet.  Luckily, I didn't have to do the hard work and just get to enjoy the end results.  

    This thing is a behemoth in every sense of the word.  I don't know why I am surprised literally every time by a toy's size even though all of them clearly state their measurements beforehand, especially when I work with rulers every day.  He stands nearly a foot tall and is made out of resin, which make this big boy a good sized piece of plastic.  It's been a long time since I've gotten a toy that could double as a weapon, and one well placed smack would be deadlier than any can of Twisted Tea.  

    Despite being a figure that doesn't take itself too seriously, the amount of detail packed into this thing is astounding.  We're talking a full on, high end, movie quality sculpt that would rival any official Shin Godzilla release.  I love the pose of his little arms, like he's beyond frustrated that his local store already sold out of the Lady Gaga Oreo's before he could get there.  There's so much pain, so much longing, so much hell that's about to be unleashed on whoever bought all the limited edition cookies.  

    By far though my favorite detail, which borders hilarity and night terror-inducing, is the face of Grover on his tail.  I don't know whether to laugh or to cover it with a blanket while I sleep, though I suppose neither is the wrong answer.  

    If you were unlucky enough to miss out on these fear not, because Bottleneck Gallery held some back for a second wave. Follow them on Instagram here for more info. And they have an entirely new sculpt they're working on with Gabriel Marquez featuring everyone's favorite flying insect which will be available soon.   

    As an aside, my cats usually love photobombing my toy photos whenever I do reviews, but they all kept a healthy distance from this one.  These are the same cats that tried to punch a snake to death when it slithered in through a previously unknown hole in the wall, so I assumed nothing scared them.  My money is on Grover looking a little too untrustworthy.  

Monday, February 1, 2021

New Limited Edition Dumpster Fires from 100% Soft

   


  The year 2020 was something else, huh? And now that we're a month into 2021 it doesn't look like the magical change we hoped for is coming any time soon.  But do not despair, for every dark, evil, storm cloud has a silver lining, and silver is worth a lot of money if you have enough of it. See, things are getting better already!

    100% Soft created the perfect toy in response to the nonsense that was last year and he has just released two new limited versions so we can continue to celebrate the never ending smolder. There's one for Valentine's Day with extremely non edible candy hearts, and one for the lunar new year, that may or may be filled with enough luck to get you through to brighter days.  Both are available now at https://100soft.shop/.



Friday, January 22, 2021

Buff Monster's Liberty Resin Figures and Prints

   

   Over the last four years, the standard icons of American life evoked anxiety rather than pride for me.  Add corona virus on top of the political turmoil and the term"dumpster fire" barely covered it. Things were pretty bleak, but as of this Wednesday I once again feel like there is hope in the world.  That science, and reason, and basic human decency have a chance to thrive.  And I am more than happy to help support an America-themed release that is finally something positive after such a long time where it would have been impossible to create such a work.  

    Buff Monster has gone full patriotic with this Liberty resin figure.  And he's gone big, because this beacon of freedom stands at nearly a foot tall.  Each one is made of rotocasted resin, is hand painted, and comes in a pretty sweet wooden box befitting its status.  This edition is limited to 25 unique pieces and will be available at 11am on Friday, January 22nd from www.staymelty.com.


    There will also be a limited edition screen print for those of you that still have space on your walls.  I don't know what that's like and have begun rotating our pieces like a museum.  I should really do a themed show one day, just for my wife and the cats.  But back to this print, which is is limited to only 100 copies in this 18" x 24" signed and numbered edition.  It will be available at the same time as the figures on www.staymelty.com.


Monday, January 4, 2021

Cherry Moon Garden Blind Box Series from Kathie Olivas x Brandt Peters x 1983

 


    Oh man, we made is out of 2020 and we are neck deep in the promising waters of 2021.  So far there isn't a glaring difference, but I can feel good things are gonna happen.  I even heard "Don't Stop Believing" on the way to the grocery store today and I'm so desperate for a good omen I'm taking that as one.   

   What better way to put all that yuck behind us than with the power of cute little toys!  Brandt Peters and Kathie Olivas have teamed up with 1983 to release this ultra adorable Cherry Moon Garden blind box series.  And since they're good people, if you buy a full case of figures you are guaranteed to get the entire set.  That's the kind of energy we need in these early days of 2021!!  Not only that, but if you buy a case you also get a signed "Trumpet Tea" mini print.  That's an entire set of figures and a signed print for only $125!!!!   This just took a turn into infomercial territory.  

     Of course if you're one of those people that like pain there are also individual blind boxes available for $13 each.  I don't know who hurt you, but trust me and buy the case.  It will make you happy.  Get em now at www.circusposterus.com.