Friday, March 22, 2019

Glow in the Dark Mythos in My Pocket Mini Figures from HH Toys





    Name an author more inspirational than H.P Lovecraft.  Go on, I'll wait.  If anyone said Nicholas Sparks I will be driving to your house to smack you about the head and face.  Lovecraft has inspired countless books, songs, nightmares, etc with his tales of horror and the only thing that sucks about it is that he didn't live long enough to see it.  Dude was too genius for his time, but his legacy lives on in everyone who has ever been driven to create based on his work.   Oh, look at what we have here, just the very thing I was talking about.  Weird.

    Mythos in My pocket are tiny portable versions of some of H.P.'s most famous characters (and even one of the author himself).  Created by HH Toys, these ultra spooky glow in the dark versions will be available on Tuesday, March 26th, at 4pm eastern time exclusively from www.mythosinmypocket.com.


Wednesday, March 13, 2019

"Dynamos and Whirligigs" Solo Show from Horrible Adorables at PIQ Hudson Yards




    There are many ways you can open a brand new store.  You could have a local radio station stand out front blaring pop music and giving away concert tickets to performers I would have to Google search to identify. You could give away a year's worth of chicken sandwiches, or dress someone up like Pikachu and give them a sign to spin while dancing dangerously close to traffic.  Any of those things are sure to get you a fair amount of attention, but if you're opening up a designer toy and collectibles store you gotta try a bit harder than a new place to buy mattresses would.

     PIQ is set to open their new location at Hudson Yards in New York City and they are going big with husband and wife art duo Horrible Adorables.  They are hosting a show entitled "Dynamos and Whirligigs", featuring all new whimsical creations.  This is also the first time, I believe, that they will debut their brand new 3D sculpted and printed figure that you can see going for a balloon ride in the photo above.  Unlike myself, they are obviously not terrified of heights and thus able to enjoy their felt dirigible without working themselves into a bowel twisting panic.  I feel I've said too much.

    The show opens 5-7pm this Friday, March 15th on the 4th floor of the Shops at Hudson Yards ( 33rd & 10th, NYC).





Wednesday, March 6, 2019

"Rotten Lime" Sofubi Collection from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys



    My heart is racing as I type this, and it's not just because my blood pressure and cholesterol have been a little out of whack.  It's my love for beautifully marbled sofubi.  And as much as I adore the plastic, I love equally the work of Splurrt, especially when it comes to that little dude Usir you see above.  Lulubell Toys will be making available quite a few pieces from Splurrt in this Rotten Lime colorway this Saturday and I have my eye on that little goat.  He even comes with an alternate head, which you can never really have to many of especially when your sinuses lose all sense of control.  That set will run you $65, and if you scroll down further I'll price out each one of these pieces for you so you can prepare your wallet for the damage you're about to inflict on it this Saturday, March 9th, at 9 am pacific time.  All of these are exclusive to www.lulubelltoys.com.  




Cadaver Kid: $65


Met Death Golem: $165


Cinema Monster: $140

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Siamese Kittypillar from Casey Weldon x 3A




    Our cat Jorah has been on this kick where any time we come home with groceries he makes a bee line out the front door and onto our porch.  Once he gets there he crouches down real low and I swear I can hear him say "oh damn, oh damn" as he realizes how bad he just messed up.  His epiphany is usually the result of me yelling at him and even though he knows he is in trouble he still tries to check out all he can before I scoop him up.  To try and stop him we have begun to build a shield out of our grocery bags and enter the house like we're storming a misbehaving inmate in cell block D.  We push him back into the house to subdue his intentions and thus far have not needed to use tear gas to keep him from escaping, though I can assure you it's on the table if need be.

   You never have to worry about Casey Weldon's Kittypillar trying to escape, because he's made of plastic.  If he did run outside when you opened your front door you have much bigger problems because your house is haunted.  This Siamese version is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys and is available for preorder right now by visiting www.tenacioustoys.com. They're limited to only 100 pieces worldwide, cost $90 each, and are produced by the toy wizards at 3A.


Thursday, February 28, 2019

No Masters Sofubi Minions from Skinner x Lulubell Toys




    I like that these Minions from Skinner and Lulubell Toys are exactly what minions should look like.  Evil little creatures who do the bidding of bigger evil creatures who can't be bothered with the minutia of their misdeeds. They should not look like giant goggle wearing Tic-Tacs who speak nonsense and frequently adorn the t-shirts of people arrested inside of Wal Mart.  They really give people who want to become minions an unrealistic expectation of what their future will look like, and I won't stand for the children of this world being misled about their career choices.

    One look at this colorful crew and you know they are up to no good. They've got their hands up, ready to bring bad guy stuff down hard on anyone who gets in their way.  Do I have a favorite of the two? Yes, but that's just to inspire them to work really hard to take that top spot that they don't know they already aren't in.  You don't learn management skills like that from reading a book; it only comes from getting other people to do the stuff at work you don't have time for.  Which is pretty much anything that doesn't involve me checking my Instagram activity.

     This dynamic duo will be available starting today (Thursday, February 28th) at 10am Pacific time only from www.lulubelltoys.com.  Each set is $80 plus shipping.

   

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Stella and Flux: Infrared Sofubi from Tara McPherson x Circus Posterus x Tomenosuke



    The toy you see above took a whopping four years to produce.  Four years!!!!  People think toy making is as easy as when they solve crimes on CSI by throwing all the evidence into a super computer, press a few buttons, and are magically taken to the suspect's Facebook page.  Like wine, whiskey, and corpses (wait, what?) it takes time for the stank of genius to marinate and the results, as you can see, are spectacular.

     This figure looks like it jumped straight out of a Tara McPherson painting and that's because of the hard work of Circus Posterus and Tomenosuke.  Every detail is spot on and if you could come any closer to matching her signature color palette your name would be Gandalf and you'd be a dang gone wizard.  To top it all off this is made in the most luxurious plastic known to man: pure Japanese sofubi.  I get the tingles just thinking about it.

     The photo above kinda gives away how you can get one, but I'll reiterate for those of you I've lost along the way with my nonsense.  This nearly nine inch tall beauty will be available beginning tomorrow (Thursday, February 28th) at noon pacific time from www.circusposterus.com.  Now that is only if you live in the United States or Canada.  If you happen to find out that you live anywhere else in the world, you'll have to purchase your figure from www.tomenosuke.com.  Check your passport if you have any doubts.  

    PS:  I mean, this figure is really amazing, isn't it?  You don't get to use the word "gorgeous" when describing toys very often, but it would be entirely appropriate here.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Stabby Vinyl Figure from Craola x 3DRetro



    Anyone that is #blessed enough to work with the public more than likely feels a little stabby on a daily basis.  Feeling stabby means that you get the notion, should you be able to get away with it free and clear, that you would like to cut someone with a bladed instrument.  Through countless hours of research that have all been detrimental to my stability, I have determined that 1 in every 3 people is both crazy and unreasonable.  No matter what you do for them, no matter the rules you break or the lengths you go, your encounter with them will chip away at your very being.   I'd love to give you a specific example but I've been advised by my health care professional to try and let go of past trauma.

    This little dude looks like he would try and convince you to stab people regardless of the consequences.  He'd maintain that devilish grin while espousing the benefits of attempted murder.  He is the creation of on Greg "Craola" Simkins and 3DRetro has brought him to life in vinyl toy form.  Available starting today, February 20th, at noon pacific time, this limited edition weapon of minor destruction can be yours for only $50.  Get Stabby by visiting www.3dretro.com.  


Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Unruly Variant Edition Mictlan from Unruly Industries x Jesse Hernandez




    Most of us will never get the chance for a second appearance after we are ushered into the after life by the God of Death.  This world will be but a distant memory as we cross over to what lies beyond.  Rising from the grave hasn't been made to look like an attractive proposal by Hollywood, but not all of those who come back are doomed to stumble around like its the parking lot after a Judas Priest concert.  Jesse Hernandez's Mictlan figure has lived one life before, but now with the help of Unruly Industries this Aztec reaper has reentered our world.

    This vinyl figure is decked out in a blacklight reactive color scheme that is poised to trip you out while you're sampling grandma's glaucoma medication.  Standing at six inches tall this vinyl figure is limited to 750 pieces and available now by checking out this link.



Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Love Slugs from Taylored Curiosities





      My wife is not a fan of slugs, but in her defense she's never seen them presented in such adorable fashion.  So I told her I had a picture on my phone of Love Slugs and she immediately started with her "get that away from me Chris or I will castrate you in your sleep" routine.  She still hasn't forgiven me for showing her a leech I found once, because she classifies those as slugs with tick like capabilities.  I was merely trying to share my discovery with her and it has instead turned into something to be used against me for what has amounted to years.  I now have to preface any discoveries I make, no matter whether in nature or even in the grocery store, with a declaration that it involves nothing that could be construed as a slug or slug like in any fashion.  I don't see it as a hindrance as much as a test to my creative ability to surprise her with gross things.

    Taylored Curiosities is changing the bad PR that slugs all over the world have with her new figures.  Just in time for Valentine's Day, these resin cuties fit together in a loving embrace that will make you go "awwwwww".   Limited to only 10 sets, help usher in the slug as the official bug of love by visiting http://tayloredcuriosities.com.




Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Aleister Growley Sofubi Debut from Dski One x Lulubell Toys



    Work sucks and everyone knows that, which is why every work place should have at least one dog present at all times to make it a little more bearable.  I have had it with my place of employment's utter lack of puppies, so my excitement for when someone has a dog with them always outweighs my need to enforce the no pets policy where I work.  If you're allergic that's just Darwinism at play and I refuse to allow it to ruin my good time.  Go and be allergic to something legitimate like cobra venom or Republicans.  I think dogs should be allowed everywhere that isn't conducting surgery and that's only if it's not an out patient facility.  I can just barely see the downside of having a corgi on your lap as your abdominal cavity is open. 

    Now if you show up with this dude as your chosen companion I might not be in such a rush to pet his little head.  Do you know how hard it would be for me to type these posts without fingers?  There's magic in those tips.  So thank goodness this little guy is only a toy and not some real hell hound that someone is going to try and claim as an emotional support animal and sit next to me on a plane with.  Dski One made a very limited amount of these in resin last year but has now made the jump to luxurious Japanese vinyl.  You can currently preorder one of these 4 and a 1/2 inch figures for only $25 plus shipping.  $25????  That's a no brainer.  Get yours at www.lulubelltoys.com


Tuesday, February 5, 2019

"Show No Mercy" Reaction Figure from Slayer x Super7



     Super7 is killiiiiiiiiiiiing me with their Reaction figure line.  The designer toy world has largely ignored music licensing for some reason, but thankfully someone has picked up the slack and gotten really creative with it.  I've seen Slayer more than I've seen anyone other than Marilyn Manson so you better believe I lost my mind when I saw this figure pop up on Instagram today.  It features the minotaur character from their debut album in classic action figure scale and the cover artwork as the card backing.  This is obviously a case of buy one figure to open and buy one to keep in the package as you'll need one to set up crazy photoshoots with the rest of your collection.  GI Joe has no idea what's coming for them.

    These will be up for sale beginning next Wednesday, February 13th, at www.super7.com and their retail locations in San Francisco and San Diego.  The kid I went to middle school with who refused to talk to anyone but literally had every Slayer shirt ever printed is probably really excited right now.

   

Friday, February 1, 2019

Obsidian Black FrankenMerrick from Miscreation Toys




     I'm always amazed by things that have been completely taboo and then normalized within my lifetime.  Maybe normal is not the right word to use in this instance, but you certainly wouldn't be driven out of town with pitchforks and torches.  The thing I am speaking of is the time Michael Jackson was rumored to have attempted to buy the skeletal remains of The Elephant Man.  Now there are actual stores you can go to to buy skulls or bones or whatever other bits you want to own, but back then that was super creepy.  I remember hearing about it as a kid and wondering what exactly he planned to do with it.  In my mind he would mount it above his bed like a taxidermied fish.  I'm not sure why the reclined skeleton of Joseph Merrick on the wall of his bedroom is what I automatically came up with instead of a nice museum quality display case, because that seems really weird thinking about it now.

     Where you choose to put your Obsidian Black FrankenMerrick from Miscreation Toys is up to you and I promise I won't find it to be weird.  This sofubi figure combines one of medicine's most famous anomalies with the fictional creature of Mary Shelly's classic novel to create something at home in any nightmare.  Standing at 12 inches tall and featuring 7 points of articulation, each figure will retail for $150 as part of a preorder that is limited to 25 pieces.  Everyone who purchases one will also receive a lottery ticket that gives them a chance to win a special 1 off custom figure.  The preorder starts at 3pm est today, Friday February 1st at https://autopsybabies.bigcartel.com.


Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Vinyl Rage: The Bacteriophage from DoomCo Designs




    Instagram has become my favorite social media platform because it offers a unique look into the lives of the people that participate.  It's also a great place to see the most disgusting things you couldn't even imagine if you had all of the Faces of Death tapes and help from Andrew Dice Clay.  I got trapped in the whole pimple popping phenomenon, which then led me to watching videos of trauma surgery, and has since become a downward spiral of plaque debridement from neglected teeth and bot fly removal from Peace Corps volunteers.  Back when I was a kid you were left to your own imagination for gross stuff or your father's copy of Chest Trauma Volume 2 that he swore you couldn't reach at the top of the book case.  My once slim physique and the craftsmanship of vintage furniture were a lethal combination when it came to acquiring arcane knowledge.

    DoomCo Designs entered the vinyl toy world in a huge way with the very popular Tarbus the Tardigrade figure.  I have one myself and it's one of the best things I picked up last year.  They're staying microscopic with their latest toy The Bacteriophage and these guys will look much better on your toy shelf than reproducing at will inside your body.  You can infect your collection when these debut this Saturday, February 2nd only at www.doomcodesigns.com.  Produced by Squibbles Ink.





    

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Catzilla Overbite and Underbite Lottery from Plaseebo




    Being that 3/5's of my cats sleep in bed with me I am quite thankful that they don't look like this.  It's not a knock against Plaseebo (because I actually quit like these) as much as it is my need to not wake up with a cat face like this staring me down.  I don't mind a stray tooth or two, but there's just something about having a cat that looks like it prowls around Satan's back yard greet me in the morning that is just beyond my comfort zone.

    While you may not want to find one of these in bed with you, they would look nice amongst your other toys.  The only way you can obtain one of these figures is to enter a lottery that closes tomorrow, January 20th.  Hurry up and follow these directions so you can be a part of it:

To enter lottery, please send the following to:  bob(at)plaseebo.net
 
1. Name

2. Shipping Address 

3. Country

4. Telephone Number

5. PayPal Email Address

6. Instagram

Lottery winners will receive notification emails by January 21st. Figures will ship upon receipt of payment due by January 23rd. 

Each one is $350 plus shipping.  


Wednesday, January 16, 2019

It's Review Time, Suckers!!!! Featuring The Tenacious Toys Exclusive Humpek from Whatshisname x Mighty Jaxx




       Should you ever need a sign that your child's birthday party has taken a turn for the worse; you know beyond the typical crying, vomiting, or inebriated parents loudly discussing the terms of their separation, I present to you Humpek.  Like the name infers, these are two balloon dogs caught in the middle of life's most loving embrace.  I swear, you can't turn your back on one of those birthday clowns without them going off the rails and teaching biology in between the cake and presents.  Stick to the itinerary, you freak!



From this angle it could be seen as an innocent piggy back ride.



    This vinyl toy is the creation of an artist know as Whatshisname, which may be a clever moniker intended to deceive Jeff Koons as to where to send the cease and desist letters.  Can you believe that man actually tried to claim a copyright ownership of balloon animals?  Oh, maybe he'll send me a cease and desist letter for mentioning his name on here.  I've never gotten one of those before, though I'm sure that fact speaks more to my limited audience than to my penchant for typing out what my mind thinks.  If I got one I would hang it on my fridge and I would be insufferable at diner parties, unable to speak about anything else than how the guy who is famous for making hotel lobby art sent me a letter telling me to behave myself before legal action be taken.  Bring it, fancy boy.


The bottom doggy is obviously just helping the other one reach something on a high shelf.


   Ok, I got a little off track there living out my legal fantasies with an artist who irritates me.  Moving on.  This toy was produced by Mighty Jaxx as an homage to how little baby ballon animals are made.  You never see baby balloon animals at all, do you?  That's because the mommy and daddy keep them well hidden from predators like hawks, coyotes, safety pins, over sharpened pencils, etc.  There really are a lot of dangers out in the world for those little guys.  It could also be that tiny balloon animal babies would be extra hard to make with those chubby sausage fingers that birthday clowns all seem to possess.  Those giant digits are great for choking out your cell mate on your felony drug possession stretch, but are a hinderance once you start working the party circuit.



Only Westminster is more thorough in their canine reviews. 


   It's been a minute since I've last reviewed a toy, so I keep getting distracted by the very nature of this creature.  The folks at Mighty Jaxx did a bang up (pun intended) job in making these two love pups a reality.  The piece itself is flawless in terms of construction, which had to be a nightmare considering all of the individual bits that were needed to put one together.  Making something this complex look as though it isn't is no easy task, but they pulled it off.


Still Life


   In creating art the devil is certainly in the details, so imagine how surprised I was when I opened the box (which by the way is the most secure shipment of anything I've ever received) and out popped a jimmy hat.  And it's even got a joke on it.  The only joke I ever heard about condoms was when my step father gave me some in high school.  That was the joke, because I had absolutely no use for them.


   That fancy blue that you've seen in all of these pictures is the exclusive colorway of Tenacious Toys, so that means if you want to own this very one that is the only place you can get it.  I love the color because it stands out against everything else in my house, which my wife and I have attempted to make look like the Parisian apartment of a very rich, yet also kinda crazy, art collector.  Being that I've never been to Paris, let alone in anyone's apartment who was a lunatic patron of the arts, I have no idea how close we've come to nailing the aesthetic.  I also have no way of knowing that we didn't, so I'm calling it a success.


Wednesday refuses to be a pawn in the modern art game.  

   On a side note, this is the second time I've reviewed a toy that was captured in this very act.  I'm not sure what that means in the greater scheme of things, but it felt worth noting.  Also, this may be the review that finally ruins any chance I had at ever running for public office.  Can you see the attack commercials of my opponent?  That would be hilarious and I'd like to declare my candidacy for Senate.

   This is by far the strangest thing I now own, and I am the proud caretaker of a mummified fetal pig and an antique tubular specula, which is fancy speak for an inner butt flashlight (cash only, no insurance plans accepted).  Having one of these on your shelf is sure to jump start conversations that are guaranteed to be more interesting than you could even imagine.   It's fun, it's irreverent, it makes me laugh, and it sent my imagination in all different directions as you can see from the paragraphs above.  If you want to add a good time to your collection, visit www.tenacioustoys.com today and pick up one of these.


Friday, January 11, 2019

The Thing Resin Mini Figure Series from Pickmans Vinyls





    I'm gonna have to be completely honest with you here:  I've never seen The Thing.  Yes, I'm talking about the classic horror film from John Carpenter and I'm admitting to have never watched it.  I can also say that telling you all this has not released any burden from my shoulders.  There will be no Hail Mary's or anything else that the newly confessed feel obliged to perform and the reason for my lack of atonement is there are plenty of people out the who have yet to see Star Wars.  Oh it's true and I've met them.  So until they are punished for such atrocities my minor infraction of overlooking The Thing is wouldn't even warrant a misdemeanor in the realm of cinematic crime.

    One day I will get around to watching it, but for now I have to take Pickmans Vinyls word that these new resin mini figures are indeed from the movie.  Hell, I haven't seen 50 Shades of Gray either, so I'm being really trusting here.  There will be a whole series of these, with this Spiderhead dude kicking things off.  Preorders for him begin tonight, Friday January 11th, at 8pm cst.  Each figure will come with what's known as blood points that can be redeemed for exclusive stuff once you collect three of them.  Add them to your collection today by visiting www.pickmansvinyls.bigcartel.com.




Wednesday, January 9, 2019

"Purple People Eater" Hag Defender Lottery from Wonder Goblin



    
     I've had this idea about human illness that I'd like to go ahead and share with you right now.  My wife and I have been battling some mutated sinus nonsense for the better part of two weeks and nothing in the world has been as satisfying to me than to crank the water in the shower to scalding, inhale the steam, and fire as much matter from my nose as I'm physically able.  There's nothing quite like having a mass dislodge from your sinus cavity and having it wash down the drain.  So while I have no power to make this a thing, wouldn't it be amazing if any time you had a cold or virus or any type of illness that you just had to evict some sentient ball of ick to know that you would be ok?  Like, once it came out you knew that you wouldn't be sick anymore.  I imagine it having little arms and probably cursing at you in German upon being exposed to the light, but the personal attacks it would lob at you would be nothing when you realized that soon all of your sniffles would be gone.  

    Wonder Goblin's Hag Defender looks a little more extreme than the viral core I described to you above, but he also looks like he could do some damage if you ever ingested one via undercooked fish.    Thankfully for us this dude is less interested in wrecking your immune system than he is keeping his queen safe.  This limited "Purple People Eater" colorway is going to be available via a lottery system that begins on Saturday, January 12th at 6pm est and ends 24 hours later.  And lest you think there will be some random number generator picking the winners, because they will actually be picked live on Instagram via this contraption:



    This thing is insane and I guarantee Wonder Goblin is going to get a lot of requests to purchase it.  He's not for sale, but the Hag Defenders sure will be.  Each 5 and 1/2 inch figure will retail for $180 plus shipping, so if you win have those dollar bills ready to go.  Enter the lottery by visiting https://www.wondergoblin.com.








Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Spy Boy Resin Figure from Compton III




      The Mummer's Parade just took place on New Year's Day in Philadelphia, and anyone not from the area most likely has no idea what I'm talking about.  It's a weird experience to say the least, and you should certainly consult Youtube to get a better understanding than I can give you.  I remember seeing a video of them before I moved to the area and I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was watching.  Their's lots of giant sequined covered costumes, string instruments, and choreography that is beyond anything you've ever seen before.  It's another one of those quirky things that makes Philadelphia great and we have certainly not cornered the market when it comes to unusual traditions.  

     There's not much about New Orleans that isn's a spectacle, but I'd be hard pressed to find one bigger than Mardi Gras.  Of course everyone knows all about the parade floats and drunken revelers, but had you heard of the Mardis Gras Indians?  I hadn't until artist Compton III sent me an email about his figure, paying homage to what I learned is a long standing tradition.  Again, mere words are not adequate here, so once again visit Youtube to see what they're all about. 

     This figure is a throwback to the origins of urban vinyl while going beyond the limitations I felt a lot of those early works set for themselves.  It's interesting to look at and invokes an aspect of American culture that until today was completely unknown to me.  I'd say that's a successful work of art, and if you want to add one of these hand painted resin figures to your collection you can do so by visiting www.spacebroccoli.com.  Each one stands 9 and 1/2 inches tall and retails for $350.



Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Chris Ryniak and Amanda Louise Spayd's Gemnibbler Exclusive from Umi Toys Hawaii





    Happy New Year, ya filthy animals!  The best way to start your next 365 days off right is to treat yourself to some retail therapy.  I started the New Year with a sinus infection; mouth breathing my way home from work last night while R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know It" filled the interior of my Hyundai.  Kind of an ominous start to 2019, but if life were easy I certainly wouldn't recognize it if it was standing next to me and tapping my shoulder.  So while I could bore you with top 10 lists or other nonsense that people usually do this time of year, my cold medicine is insisting we throw that idea in the trash and instead tell you about something new.  Brace yourselves, for I am at its mercy.

   There's nothing worse that being a collector of anything and not being able to get each and every thing associated with it.  Do you want to know how many sets of figures I have where I'm only missing one and that one that eludes me is priced at a level that would keep me up at night?  I'd tell you, but lets not dwell on the negative.  Umi Toys is ensuring that every collector of the Thimblestump Hollow series 2 figures from Chris Ryniak and Amanda Louise Spayd will be able to complete their sets by offering up this exclusive Canyon edition Gemnibbler.  This enemy of precious jewels is limited to only 85 pieces, retails for $15, and can only be had by visiting www.umitoyshawaii.com.  One of these will also be included if you are purchasing one of their Fukubukuro lucky bags.

   These figures are produced by the fine folks of Cardboard Spaceship, who have yet to convince NASA that corrugated paper is the best material for use when constructing the shuttle.