If you think that I have not been to Hell's Canyon, where Evel Knievel unsuccessfully launched himself in a rocket car from Idaho to Oregon, then you are about to feel mighty silly. Because the fact of the matter is that not only have I gazed nervously over the rocky ledge of the deepest canyon in America, but I have also stood inside of it at the bottom. I got to the bottom in a much slower, yet ultimately safer way than Evel Knievel did, because its hard to enjoy nature's majesty when your bones are in places no one intended. And I'm always careful since the time I tried to jump over a little muddy creek in the woods and I fell gloriously, nearly breaking my arm in the process. My wife still brings that up years later, so falling into Hell's Canyon was never an option.
For reasons that are beyond my comprehension, the American flag jumpsuit never caught on as standard office attire. I think work satisfaction and productivity would skyrocket if you were allowed to feel that good about what you were wearing. UVD Toys and MCA have decked out the Evil Ape Fink in said attire and frankly, the little guy has never looked better. This four inch titan of vinyl will be available to add to your collection when he's released this Friday, April 9th at noon eastern time. He'll only be $60, which is way less than the copays my insurance would have charged if I had actually broken my arm.