Warlock Trooper from Martin Ontiveros

 

    If they're going to continue to make Star Wars films and TV shows (which, like death and taxes, is inevitable at this point) then I would love to see them take some liberties. Extreme liberties, not just continuing to expand a universe by filling in the back story of every minor character. I'm talking reimagining it from start to finish in different genres. How about a Star Wars horror series? Or what if Tolkien influenced an entire trilogy? Disney has dipped their toes in these waters with the Visions animated shorts, but I want more and I especially want one built around this toy.

     Martin Ontiveros has resurrected his Warlock Trooper resin figure and good God almighty this is what I want the next Star Wars film to look like. A full blown heavy metal video of craziness, which really isn't a stretch because you already have space wizards and laser swords. I don't know the first thing about making movies, but with a starting point like this it practically makes itself. 

   These bad boys are limited to 25 pieces on signed and numbered card backs and can be yours this Friday starting at 10 am Pacific time. You can only find them at martinheadrocks.bigcartel.com .

The First Release of The Hextraterrestrials from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    There's nothing I could have used more than a pocket full of sorcerers this week.  I think I saw on Facebook that Mercury was in retrograde, which is supposed to make people extra crazy.  There may not be any science to it, but people most certainly seem to dial their nonsense level up to a thousand.  Whether it's been dealing with the public at work, or trying not to lose it on the beyond rude post office employee, my patience with my fellow man has certainly been tested.   Now if I had a bunch of mini sorcerers at my disposal I wouldn't hesitate to put an explosive diarrhea hex on anyone that is determined to make my life difficult.  I'm talking you ate some three day old Taco Bell digestive hurricane to make you think about what you've done.

  Sadly for me, I have yet to locate any real life micro wizard folk, but Martin Ontiveros keeps my hope alive with this set of Hextraterrestrials.  They're only an inch and a half tall and come in a set of six, so even if one isn't feeling your need for retribution, there's five more that may or may not have your back.  I'm betting it would be one of the skull guys. They look like they know how to have a good time.

   Toy Art Gallery produced this gang of magical misfits and they are available to join your collection right now by visiting www.toyartgallery.com.  Each set is $60 plus shipping.

GID Nuclear Nightbreed Glampyre from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    

    Officially it is the third day of spring, which to me means chirping birds, trees growing their leaves back, and weather that is warmer than the bitter chill of winter.  Instead what I have outside my window is about 6 inches of snow.  This is completely unacceptable.  I have done my fair share of shoveling and I have certainly discovered my fair share of black ice on darkened roadways.  Yeah, I could move to Florida and experience nice weather the majority of the year, but then I'd have to worry about getting bitten by some hillbilly with a Monster Energy Drink logo tattooed on his arm who takes off from working at the alligator farm for "religious reasons" whenever the Insane Clown Posse releases a new album.  I'll deal with the snow.

    Martin Ontiveros is keeping those chill winter vibes alive with this glow in the dark Glampyre.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery and hand painted by the man himself, this limited edition run of soft vinyl figures will retail for $180 each.  But wait, there's more...

    Three hand painted one-offs as well?  When uniqueness is a must for your collection then you've gotta snag a toy so limited you're the only one that owns it.  Releasing at the same time as those frozen looking dudes up top will be these three dudes you see before you.  Each is one of a kind and will be $250 each.  Treat yourself when they all go on sale tomorrow, Friday March 23rd, at noon pacific time at www.toyartgallery.com.  

Baphomaniac Flesh Edition from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    Ok, I'm gonna be the one to have to say it I guess.  The fact that there has yet to be a Hulkamaniac version of the Baphomaniac is a serious misstep and can no longer go unnoticed.  This flesh edition of Martin Onitveros and Toy Art Gallery's fun little guy would be the perfect base for a steady handed customizer to realize what the universe desperately wants.  Then there will be no doubt in anyone's mind what you would do when Baphomania runs wild on you.  Say your prayers and eat your vitamins.

   Of course you don't have to paint this eight inch tall beast of sofubi perfection.  You can leave him just the way he is and marvel at his every nook and cranny.  But now that I've planted the seed of creativity in your brain, will you be able to resist visiting your favorite art supply store for a bit of yellow and red paint?  The choice is yours when this dude goes on sale tomorrow, Friday the 16th, at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.  

Black Light Purple Baphomaniac from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    "Whatcha gonna do brother,when Baphomania runs wild on you?"  No, seriously though, what would you do?  You think I was just asking that question because I love to partake in gimmick infringement and collect cease and desist letters?  Cause I don't.  I am worried about you and I don't want some evil entity catching you on the sneak and entering your body with bad intentions.  So here's some helpful tips to help you avoid demonic possession:

- Avoid all abandoned houses unless it is in broad daylight and you are with a priest.  With a gun.

- Avoid reading books that are bound in human skin.  Even though Amazon may offer then at unheard of prices, that free two day shipping just means you'll be in the Devil's clutches that much sooner.

- Listen to Taylor Swift songs repeatedly.  Demons may be evil, but they can only put up with so much.  I'll retract this statement if Ms. Swift were to sing me the Arby's menu in it's entirety.  The ball's in your court, blondie.  

  The life I save may be your own.

    If you were to invite forces of darkness into your life how about with something like this Baphomaniac figure from Martin Ontiveros and Toy Art Gallery.  Way safer than any relics dug up in the Middle East, this bro will bring delight/curses to all who touch his shiny vinyl exterior.  Available today (Friday, October 27) at noon pacific time for $80 exclusively thorough www.toyartgallery.com.

Satanic Spaceman Glampyre Lottery from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    So let me get this straight:  you have a chance to not only own one of these sweet Glampyre toys, but they've been hand painted by the man behind the design, Martin Ontiveros?  And this eight inch figure looking like Dracula joined the Kiss Army is only $150?  I may not hit the Powerball, but this is the next best thing.  You would wish I did hit a jackpot like that, because I would quit my job in such awesome fashion it would absolutely break the Internet.  I've already got it all planned out, so keep me in your prayers.

   Speaking of lotteries, the only way you can own one of these limited edition dream boats is by entering one.  From now until Monday, August 14 at noon pacific you can email sales@toyartgallery.com with the subject line "Glampyre Lottery" along with your PayPal details and shipping address. Then cross whatever you can for good luck so you bring this beauty home.

Teal Glampyre from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    Do you think when you go see Kiss that it's actually them anymore?  Under all the makeup and costumes it really could be anybody.  I've always felt that whenever they go on tour that Gene and Paul just go into hiding and that it's two people from one of those tribute bands that actually plays the shows.  Somebody with access to facial recognition software needs to blow this case wide open and then give me my cut when they sell the story to TMZ.  

    This Glampyre dude is actually based on the "before" shot of Gene Simmons taken prior to his last face lift.  Just kidding (or am I), it is a completely original concept from Martin Ontiveros.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery, this 8 inches of teal is part blood sucker, park rock and roller, and all sweet Japanese vinyl.  Get one for yourself when they go on sale Tuesday December 20th at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.  

Magi Malificarum Sofubi Set from Martin Ontiveros X Toy Art Gallery

    I wish magic was real.  Not like "hey look how magical life is" kinda magic, but full blown wizard and dragons and lightning bolts from your finger tips magic.  I think I'd make a good wizard actually. Not like that wussy Harry Potter either, cause that's lame.  More like Gandalf but maybe with a wider mean streak.  I just don't want to limit myself by swearing to only being a good wizard cause that is a pretty big commitment and the last thing I'd want to do is handcuff myself with my powers.  I just might turn you into a newt if you piss me off, so you better realize that's on the table.

    If I'm going to become a wizard, which seems like a totally viable career option in this economy, then I'm going to need a mentor or three.  Oh my goodness, what timing for these little characters to enter my life.  Martin Ontiveros and Toy Art Gallery are releasing the first every painted run of their Magi Malificarum figures on Wednesday, June 8th at noon pacific time.  They're all colorful and glittery and somewhat menacing looking like they know secret spells that they don't ever use but totally could if need be.  Maybe they'll teach em to you, like dirty words in foreign languages.

www.toyartgallery.com

"Famous Last Words" Group Show at Toy Art Gallery

    In what is a sad yet growing trend, Toy Art Gallery is closing up their physical location.  I don't know anything beyond the fact that they will continue to operate their store online and continue to manufacture toys.  They want to close their location with a bang, and thus you have the aptly titled "Famous Last Words" group show.  It's happening this Saturday, September 5th, and features all of the artists you see listed above.  You should go, and pour some of your 40 out on the sidewalk for your fallen homies.