Mint Green Gacha Minis from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    These look delicious.  I wonder why no one has ever made edible toys before.  Maybe they don't want you to have to choose between having your toy or biting it's yummy little head off.  I would be torn as to what to do.  I would probably eat it, knowing that I'd instantly regret it, then I would complain and my wife would tell me to be quiet because Downton Abbey is on and I'm totally ruining it.  I love that show.  Did you see Lady Mary's new haircut?  What a fox!  Edith is just insufferable though and I realize she's had it rough but you're never going to get out from your sister's shadow if all you do is mope around the house all day.

    Toy Art Gallery is releasing a new set of mini figures from Paul Kaiju today in hunger inducing mint green.  You can get a set of them for $60 starting at noon pacific time from http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.
    

Two New Glow in the Dark Releases from Toy Art Gallery

    Does it ever amaze you when you look back in history at some of the stupid things we used to do?  For instance, having x-ray machines in shoe stores to measure the size of your feet, or filling our homes with asbestos insulation.  In Northern New Jersey there used to be a watch company that would use a special glow in the dark paint to enhance the numbers on the dials.  The female workers would continuously put the ends of their brushes in their mouths in an effort to sharpen the bristles into points. When they started becoming increasingly ill it was determined that the radium used to make the paint glow wasn't the best thing in the world to ingest.  

   Now I don't know what they use these days to create the coveted glow in the dark effect, but I can be pretty sure that it's not going to give you radiation poisoning.  But it does make you wonder what future generations will look back at and think was completely stupid that we do now.  Hmmmmmmm.

    No time to worry about such silly things though, cause there are toys to be had!  Like the giant sized Modzilla from Ron English, or the nearly as huge Totim from Tim Clarke.  Both will glow like a beacon of freedom on your darkest night and can be had starting today at noon pacific from Toy Art Gallery.  

"Feminamorphe" Opens This Saturday at Toy Art Gallery

    Pretend I'm saying this in a smooth, Billy Dee Williams voice: "This Saturday, it's all about the laaaaaaaaaaadies."  I'll admit it, that was kinda lame, but it's also true because Toy Art Gallery is set to open it's latest show "Feminamorphe" featuring some of the best female talent in the toy/art world right now.  New work from Candie Bolton, Uamou, Teresa Chiba, Tasha Zimich, Okokume, and Helen Vine will be on display and available for purchase.  The show opens this Saturday from 7-10pm and will be on display through the end of the month.  

Toy Art Gallery's Holiday Sale

    Today is that glorious day where I showcase my terrible present wrapping skills.  I usually do fairly well on the first one or two, but then I just start to rush through it, creating more of an over-taped wad of paper than anything resembling something Martha Stewart would make.  The bright side is that I've set the bar so low that everyone expects me to do a bad job which alleviates any pressure I may have once felt.  

   Thankfully I have at least completed all of my shopping so I don't have to fight through the madness of retail on Christmas Eve.  I can just sit at home, procrastinate on the present wrapping, and maybe or maybe not get dressed for the day.  And I can also peruse all the stuff from Toy Art Gallery that I want, which is a lot.  The good thing is from now until the new year is that it's all 20% off.  Buy yourself something nice with all of your gift cards at www.toyartgallery.com.  

Milky Purple Slugbeard Lottery from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    My wife and I have a black cat named Icarus who has a bit of an eating disorder.  He likes to ingest anything from shoe laces and string to loosely woven fabrics.  One time he ate half of a shirt sleeve and had to go to the emergency vet to have some help in passing it.  We lock up all of our shoes and clothing and anything else we think he might decide to nibble on.  But sometimes you can't help what he decides is gonna taste good, especially if it's something you didn't bring into the house.  

   We first met Icarus when he was a kitten and he became lodged behind the engine of my car.  Four hours later and with the aid of a tow truck lifting the front of the car, we were able to liberate him from his automotive prison, and hoist him above our heads for the gathered crowd to see (picture the Lion King with more grease).  Needless to say the experience was rough on him and he wasn't too into being social, and by not too into it I mean he wouldn't let us touch him for six months.  He loved our other two cats but he was kind of leary people.  Slowly he began to socialize more and more with us; coming up to us to pet him, sitting near us on the couch, etc.  This is when we began to notice his weird eating habits, which we attributed to his traumatic experience of having been trapped for who knows how long underneath the car.  

    One night he was playing behind the couch and we started to hear this weird slurping noise.  We figured he had gotten into something we missed and was now making a meal of it.  I pulled the couch back to take it from him and witnessed, what is to this day, the weirdest thing any of my cats has ever tried to eat.  There, laying on the carpet, was a slug with the back half of its slime sucked clean off of his body.  My wife asks me what he has, and I tell he she doesn't want to know (she thinks slugs are the grosses things in the world) but she looks anyway.  I'd never seen her move so fast to get as far away from something.

    The moral of the story is my cat tried to eat a slug and my wife would probably object to me owning anything named Slugbeard.  But look how pretty Paul Kaiju's monstrous creation looks cast in a milky shade of purple.  I think she'd be able to look past the name don't you?

    Toy Art Gallery will be holding a lottery to give you the chance to buy one of these pretty behemoths.  Starting tomorrow at noon pacific time and running through December 22nd at noon pacific, you can send your pertinent details (PayPal address, shipping info) in an email to sales@toyartgallery.com with the subject line "Slugbeard Lottery".  Then you cross all your fingers and toes and hope the toy gods smile upon you.  If you win, you have to pony up $165 (which is a steal considering how freakin huge this thing is) and then wait patiently for the mail to come.  No early or multiple entries suckas.    

Toy Art Gallery Presents: Christmas Kaiju

   I'm a man with a lot of beliefs.  I believe we shouldn't have to pay for health care.  I believe the Flyers will win the Stanley Cup before I die.  I also believe that your holiday decorations should be so awesome that you just leave them out year round.  I'm not talking about your Santa Claus lawn inflatable or your snowmen bath towels, I'm talking about decorating with your collection.  Let Toy Art Gallery help introduce you to the world of permanent decorations during their Christmas Kaiju show this Friday.  All of your favorite artists have created stuff so amazing you won't have the heart to pack it up and forget about it 11 months out of the year.  Plus, it will save you time because you are always prepared for any festivities that may happen at your house.  Do you see what I do for you?  I'm better than Dr. Phil at improving lives.  Check out the list of artists below.

Black Friday Sales!!!

Huck Gee

myplasticheart

Toy Art Gallery

"UnAmerican Activity" Custom Toy Show at Toy Art Gallery

    It's rare that I would ever open an email with a subject that involved the word "unAmerican" cause I am not trying to get on some government list or have the feds parked outside my house trying to see what I'm up to.  Not that I'm up to anything, but it just seems like a hassle.  I'd have to step up my style game if people are gonna be outside taking pictures all the time to go in my permanent file.  This is how their briefing on my case will play out:

 Boss:  "So, have you determined what the deal with this guy is?"

Cop:  "Sir, all we've been able to ascertain is that the house is filled with cats, and the subject looks FABULOUS!" (throws glitter in the air, much to the chagrin of his fellow officers)

    And that is how I will waste the taxpayer's money.  End scene.

      I opened that email anyway and instead of finding something that would send me to Guantanimo, I found out about a killer toy show this weekend.  It's called "UnAmerican Activity" because the artists involved aren't from America.  Oooooooooooooh, that makes much more sense than what I was worried about.  The show opens this Friday, November 14th, at Toy Art Gallery and features the work of Jon-Paul Kaiser, Doktor A, and Seymour Art.  Check out this little preview of what you can see live and in person:

Behold the Lavender Pollen Kaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    Did anyone start their Christmas shopping yet?  I'm sort of on the ball this year and have already begun chipping away at it.  I'm never the type to wait until the last minute, but each year I seem to get dangerously close to panic mode.  Sometimes I even have dreams where it's Christmas morning and I haven't bought anyone anything and I do my best to fake a reason to be rushed to the emergency room just to buy me some time to figure out what to do.  They at least have a gift shop in the hospital, so I might be able to pass off a "get well" teddy bear or a bunch of phone cards as legit gifts.  It's kinda horrifying.

    You can begin your shopping for me today when Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery release their latest edition of the mighty Pollen Kaiser.  See how easy I make this for you.  So park yourself near a computer at noon Pacific time, have it pointed at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/ and let the raining of presents upon me commence.  Of you can buy it for someone else I guess and I'll just resent you.  Kidding, I'm kidding, I will always love you.  But there's always room to move up on the love list, now isn't there?  

    

Toy Art Gallery's Halloween Show Opens Tomorrow

    What holiday other than Halloween can you celebrate with custom toys?  I mean, you could do Thanksgiving or Christmas I guess, but I don't think the results would be as cool.  And now that Halloween is rapidly getting pushed out of stores in favor of everyone's favorite gift giving holiday, the time to celebrate is now.  

    Tomorrow marks the opening of Toy Art Gallery's Halloween Show featuring all of your favorite artists.  Unless your favorite artist is Monet, or Picasso, in which case you will be disappointed.  Check out a couple of the pieces from the show below and if you're in the Los Angeles area go see em all in person beginning at 7pm tomorrow night.  

Three New Releases from Toy Art Gallery Happening Today!

    Sweet Jesus what on earth is this thing?  It looks like something that would chase you down a hallway in some horror film, laughing like a demented school girl as it thinks about what part of you it will eat first.  If I were to somehow own this, I think I would look in a safe before I went to bed at night, just in case it was as haunted as it looks.  I have learned that it's called a Smalmack and this is the "Uncle Woman" edition.  I now nominate "uncle woman" as two words in the english language never to be paired together ever again.  

    This freaky thing is part of a triple release of figures today from Toy Art Gallery.  If you need something to scare your kids into staying in their room when they're being punished, then you my friend might be in the market for an uncle woman something or other.  Just put it outside their door, and no kid with a healthy fear of anything will dare cross the threshold of their temporary prison.  For $70, it seems worth it.  

    Oh thank you lord it's just a cat figure.  Just look at him, all cute in his little shorts and little suspenders.  Do you know if you happen to die in your home and you own cats that eventually they will start to nibble on your corpse?  It's true, it was in a book written by a former medical examiner in New York.  My cat Jorah bites me on the nose every night while I sleep.  I'd like to think it's because he misses me being awake with him, but I'm realistic enough to know that he's checking to see if the buffet is open yet.  Do you see what that first figure did to me?  It made me a sicko.  $30 will get you one of these cute little guys from T9G.  

    Luftkaiser! Luftkaiser!  I like this little dude.  Maybe because he's German and I've always wanted to visit there.  Or maybe it's the bat wings.  Who doesn't love a good set of bat wings?  No one I know, that's for sure.  This dude sprung from the mind of Paul Kaiju and is kinda giving off a Skeletor vibe with this paint job.  I dig it, and you can too for $45.  

    You can snag all three of these toys when they go on sale at noon Pacific time from http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.   

Toy Art Gallery's 5th Anniversary Show Featuring Vertebrata

    Toy Art Gallery is celebrating their 5th Anniversary this Saturday by inviting a lot of really weird looking chicks to come and hang out with their friends and customers.  No, I don't mean girls from some backwoods strip club (I pass by three on the way to work and it doesn't get any more sketchy than hillbilly strip clubs) I'm talking about Vertebrata.  The crazy brain child of Paul Kaiju and Blobpus has been customized by some of the most well known toy artists out there and they will be on display beginning with the opening reception on Saturday.  If you live in the Los Angeles area you should go and check it out, cause it will be more fun than laughing at people with botched plastic surgery.  

Paul Kaiju's Gacha Minis in Orange from Toy Art Gallery

    The thing about collecting anything is that you are eventually going to run out of usable space.  And being that you spent all of your money on what you collect, chances are you're not going to be able to upgrade your living situation on a whim.  So you have to get creative.  Like how I use the space beneath my stairs in the basement to store all of the packaging from the toys I buy.  It's starting to look like the storage room from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  

(Actual picture from beneath my stairs.  That's David, our mutant boy who is in charge of sorting all of the boxes.  He works for 2 fish a week and access to our cable television.)  

     Of course if you're running out of space to store packaging you've gotta be getting tight on places you can actually show off the toys you love.  Fill those little nooks and crannies to capacity by adding some of Paul Kaiju's Gacha Minis to the mix.  This bright orange edition will be available tomorrow from Toy Art Gallery at noon Pacific time.  Each two inch figure is $15 or you can buy the whole set for $60, which essentially gets you one for free.  Oh math, how I have bested you yet again. 

http://shop.toyartgallery.com/

Blood Thirst Night Stalker Edition from Brent Nolasco x Toy Art Gallery

    I recently learned that my wife will not as a matter of fact be excited by all of the discoveries I make in life.  I don't know if it's because we're getting older or what exactly, but we've recently become more outdoorsy.  We found this creek about an hour from where we live where people routinely go to dig up fossils.  Sounds like fun, and when I was in kindergarten I wanted to be an archaeologist and dig up mummies in Egypt, so it was the chance to realize an early childhood dream.  We've been a few times and found some shark teeth, a bunch of clams, and a few squid with no incidents.  Then we went last week and I was walking around in the water, seeing what the recent rain had unearthed and I saw what looked like our biggest squid fossil to date.  Turned out it was just a stick, but on the underside of that stick was a big friggin leech.  Now I've seen leeches plenty of times, but they've alway been preserved in jars.  This was the first time I'd ever seen one in the wild.  I turned to my wife, who was a few feet behind me on the shore, and asked her "have you ever seen a leech before?"  What followed next was a blur of curse words and threats on my well being, but I do remember her saying "I hate ticks and I hate slugs, so what makes you think I want to see a slug tick?"  Fair enough, I just had no one else to share my Crocodile Hunter moment with.  I named him Tito Santana, put him back in the water, and went about my business.  After a visit to the Cheesecake Factory most, if not all, was forgiven.

    I'll never forget those good times Tito Santana and I had, and now I don't have to because Brent Nolasco has made this figure that will forever remind me of our brief yet emotional time together.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery, the Blood Thirst Night Stalker edition is quite possibly the most frightening thing you've seen all day.  His name pretty much sums up what he's into, not that you couldn't tell by the menagerie of sharp pointy teeth he has everywhere.  He will be unleashed on an unsuspecting world tomorrow (Friday the 15th) at noon Pacific time at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/ and in their physical store.  My wife said I'm not allowed to have one because I don't know how to act.   

    

"Death Rides Again" featuring Mike Egan, Doubleparlour, and Lurk at Toy Art Gallery

    You may not know this, but I've been known to paint the occasional toy.  Granted, I haven't done anything in a while, but I'm trying to get more disciplined.  I could run down a prepared list of excuses that I just happen to have handy, but I'll spare you.  But seeing shows like this makes me want to get back on the creativity horse and ride that sucker into the sunset of success.  Didn't that sound like one of those motivational posters?  

   Toy Art Gallery is usually the place to be any day of the week, but it definitely is tomorrow for the opening of their Death Rides Again show.  This not only features the awesome work of Mike Egan, Doubleparlour and Lurk, but it will also feature the debut of vinyl toys from the latter two.  The opening runs from 7-10pm and Doubleparlour and Lurk will be to shake hands and kiss babies.    

http://www.toyartgallery.com/

Hand Painted Luftkaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    The United States is all about flying these stupid unmanned drones over all of its cities to spy on everyone, but how long do you think it's gonna be before a bunch of hillbillies start shooting them out of the sky?  Maybe drone taxidermy will become a thing and people will mount their heads over their fireplaces with little brass plaques telling the date and location of their kill.  Yeah, we'll probably never find out if people are doing that because I would imagine the jail time would be pretty intense for shooting down the government's toys, but I'd love for it to catch on.  

    If the government were smart, it would have designed all of its drones to look like a Luftkaiser.  Could you imagine seeing this thing flying around and trying to peek in your windows?  You'd be so terrified the last thing on your mind would be trying to shoot it and get close to it.  Now I would like it to become a thing where the government redesigns all drones to look like monsters.  

    Paul Kaiju hand painted a run of these scary looking dudes that will go on sale exclusively through Toy Art Gallery tomorrow, Friday the 20th, at noon Pacific time.  You can get one for $75, which is a lot less than the fine will be for blowing a drone out of the sky.  I think I said "drone" enough in this post to now be on an official NSA watch list.  Oh joy!

    

Stepping Through Walls at Toy Art Gallery **Update**

    So I originally posted this last week, but the show is actually THIS SATURDAY.  I swear that I'm not drinking when I'm updating this site. However I am usually stopping one or more cats from eating something they shouldn't on my desk or trying to play Smackdown on all my stuff.  

    Toy Art Gallery has a pretty big show starting Saturday featuring some cool toy folks, but the reason I would be there (if I lived, oh I don't know, about 3,000 miles closer) is for these Death Cat figures from Johan Ulrich:  

    How great are these?  The answer is "these are amazing."  When we first got married, my wife and I lived in an apartment complex that had a few stray cats living outside.  One of these dudes was quite a beast, and he was missing his tail, half of an ear, and only had one eye.  We named him Carlos because when you looked at his face you could almost hear him say "Whas up homes."  He may or may not have even been a dude, he never let us get that personal.  We wanted to bring him in the house soooooooo bad but he wasn't having it, and it took us nearly two years to even get close enough to pet him.  Now fast forward four years and my wife is waiting on someone at her job who lives in our old neighborhood.  She starts talking about how she misses the outdoor cats and the lady whips out her cell phone to show her pictures of a cat she was able to bring indoors.  And of course its Carlos!!  He finally decided to put the streets behind him and settle down into a life of luxury.  So every time I see these toys it reminds me of him and maybe that's why I like them so much.  

     You lucky folks in the Los Angeles area will get first crack at these guys during the opening of the show on Saturday and Johan himself will be there along with most of the other artists participating.  

Gacha Mini Set from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    Look at these tiny wittle baby monsters.  They're so cute you would never suspect that they could grow up one day and wreck the city you live in.  Remember when people used to buy baby alligators cause they were cute then they'd wake up one day and they couldn't shower anymore because a blood-thirsty reptile was living in their bathtub?  And people would flush them down the toilets before they got to big so everyone thought their were these mutant lizards living in our sewer systems that would one day rise and enact their revenge for being abandoned and not shown the proper motherly love that all creatures need.  There's no therapy programs for alligators with a bad childhood.

    Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery are releasing this gacha mini set featuring some of his most well known characters.  You can pick them up for $60 a set or $15 individually.  For those of you math impaired (I double checked my calculations 6 times) that means you get one figure for free by opting for the set.  They go on sale today at noon Pacific time at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.

Nadsat Boy Beethoven Edition from Kenth Toy Works x Toy Art Gallery

    During the day, when I'm not attempting to write witty, thought-provoking posts about toys that I like, I make eyeglasses.  Not that you've ever asked before, but I am all about full disclosure and ruining whatever mystery I may have left about myself.  I just can't resist destroying my own enigma.  You're probably shocked by the fact that this blog hasn't led to bathtubs full of money and pet zebras, which honestly I am too, but I enjoy my job.  People manage to do some crazy stuff to their eyes and their glasses, most of which keeps me elbow deep in hand sanitizer at all times.  I didn't think there would be so many germs!  

   Thinking about eyeballs all day has left a special place in my heart for this figure from Kenth Toy Works.  His tribute to A Clockwork Orange is one of the more original I've seen and Toy Art Gallery will be releasing this Beethoven edition of it tomorrow, May 2nd, at noon Pacific time.  As if this needs to be said, I am always, and shamelessly, open to all presents you would like to buy me.  Starting your shopping here would be a good idea.  

Springtime Takoshi from Yakimon x Toy Art Gallery

    I'll admit it:  I'm a sucker for a good reality tv show.  Mostly I like the ones that are some sort of competition because I'm always hoping that at the end no one will win because the producers will be disgusted by how horrible all of the people are.  Seriously, it's like they're collecting names for the national douche bag registry when they cast for these things.  There's so many that my wife and I can never remember their proper names, so we just make up ones that are more fitting.  Tough Love, a show about people who can't find success in the dating word, becomes "Unlovables" and we hope that maybe a fire will break out in the house that that can't be tamed.  Are You the One, a dumb show about  idiots trying to figure out who their perfect matches were, became "Sticky House" for the careless amount of coupling that went on.  I could go on and on, but it would be embarrassing to let you know how much of this junk I've actually seen.

    If I were in charge of naming toys, Yakimon's Takoshi would be renamed "Super Hyper Squid Face".  I just think it would be more fun to explain what it is to your friends if that's what it was called.  Regardless of his moniker, you can buy one this Friday at noon Pacific time when they go on sale from Toy Art Gallery.