Teal Glampyre from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    Do you think when you go see Kiss that it's actually them anymore?  Under all the makeup and costumes it really could be anybody.  I've always felt that whenever they go on tour that Gene and Paul just go into hiding and that it's two people from one of those tribute bands that actually plays the shows.  Somebody with access to facial recognition software needs to blow this case wide open and then give me my cut when they sell the story to TMZ.  

    This Glampyre dude is actually based on the "before" shot of Gene Simmons taken prior to his last face lift.  Just kidding (or am I), it is a completely original concept from Martin Ontiveros.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery, this 8 inches of teal is part blood sucker, park rock and roller, and all sweet Japanese vinyl.  Get one for yourself when they go on sale Tuesday December 20th at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.  

New Bootleg Weirdness from The Sucklord

    I noticed something in Wal Mart the other day that concerned me.  The bug spray was located directly next to the sandwich bags and the aluminum foil.  Someone determined that the stuff used to inflict a violent end on unwelcome guests in your house would be best positioned next to the objects you pack your children's lunch with.  It's kind of an odd choice, I thought, but then maybe I'm reading too much into it.  I've been accused of that (wrongly) on a few occasions, but I might add that my suspicions have kept me alive thus far, so who's overreacting now, mom?  

  Doing some last minute shopping for the toy collector/awesome blog dude on your list?  Then look no further than these new releases from The Sucklord.  Yeah, I said releases, because he has TWO crazy resin bootleg figure guys for the most discerning of connoisseurs.  Get one, get em both, get em now at www.Suckadelic.com.

The Chungaloids from Joseph Harmon x Toy Art Gallery

   Is Chungaloid a derogatory term? It certainly sounds like something your momma would slap you for calling someone, even though you didn't realize it was anything bad because you heard other kids at school say it and you're trying to tell her this as you choke on your own tears and crab crawl away from the second slap you're about to get.  See, I painted such a great picture your probably thought I had myself experienced it.  That's the power or literature, folks.  And also the power of getting the taste slapped out of my mouth as a young man just trying to add some spice to his vocabulary.

   These are the Chungaloids, which until proven differently you shouldn't say at the dinner table.  Joseph Harmon created them and Toy Art Gallery produced them and you can buy them today at noon pacific time from shop.toyartgallery.com.  Maybe Chungaloid is French for "gang of weird uncles."

Monster Mashup Figures from Hateball x Grody Shogun

   I know you weirdos are missing Halloween something fierce and I'm right there with you.  Wee never get quite the amount of buildup that Christmas does so it feels like getting cheated out of orange and black everything.  Well fear not, cause while everyone is making their toys look like they fit in with the season, Hateball and Grody Shogun are throwing it back to a month and a half ago when black cats and flaming pumpkins were the decor of choice.  Or how my entertainment center looks year round.

    What will you get when you order one of these Monster Mashup figures?  Well, you get  random 9 inch toy, as well as a zine (I hope it's not Sports Illustrated) and other cool stuff.  The price is $85 and the place to get one is www.hateball.com.

Tara McPherson Pop Up Event At Jinxed in Philadelphia

    Now I'm not one to go and take credit for things, but I'm gonna lay this scenario out for you.  Tara McPherson posted on Instagram looking for suggestions on where she could hold a pop up shop in Philadelphia.  I mentioned Jinxed because it is one of my favorite stores in the city and is pretty much responsible for me being obsessed with designer toys.  Then yesterday Tara posts this picture because obviously my idea was that phenomenal.  And yet the WWE still won't hire me to write for them even though I now have a proven track record of brilliance.  

   You can spend the day before my birthday chillin (do people still say that) with Tara at the best vintage store in the entire city of Brotherly Love this WEDNESDAY.  She'll be there from 6-8 with all kinds of art that would look way better than that "Live, Laugh, Love" shabby chic wood thing you have hanging above your couch.  Go ahead and throw that away in anticipation, I'll wait.  

Red Glitter Chroma Dunny from Kidrobot

    Glitter must be a detective's dream come true, because if you commit a crime and glitter was anywhere near the scene you will carry it as evidence for the rest of your life.  I still have glitter stuck to me from when I made Christmas ornaments in kindergarten.  It's the sneakiest of all craft products, because just when you think you've gotten it all a piece of it will catch the light and laugh right in your face.  "I'm a part of you now, Billy" it whispers into you ear, and you'll be all like "who the hell is Billy?" but it won't care that it got your name wrong because it owns you now.  You are Billy, the boy that will never truly be free of glitter.

    No need to worry about any of that with this new 5 inch Chroma Dunny from Kidrobot though, because that glittery goodness is infused into the vinyl itself.  It is trapped there, like those bad guys in that one Superman movie were trapped in that space mirror.  Jazz up your collection right now for only $24.99 at www.kidrobot.com or wherever designer toys are sold.  

Radioactive B.C. Blasters from James Groman x Toy Art Gallery

   I saw a news story online that said someone found a dinosaur tail in a chunk of amber but I didn't read the article because everything on the Internet is a lie.  Facebook is full of fake news and celebrities are always fake dying and blah blah blah.  I'm not about to tell everyone I know how much closer we are to getting a real Jurassic Park and then looking like a crazy person when it gets debunked.  It probably doesn't help that I'm reading a book about forgery, so I am on a distrust everything kick right now.

    These look real, though who can really say.  The only way to know for sure is to order these B.C. Blasters from James Groman direct from Toy Art Gallery and find out for yourself.  Sold individually for $40 or as a set of 5 for $160, they go on sale today (Friday December 9th) at noon pacific time at www.toyartgallery.com.