First Painted Edition of Orion from Brandt Peters x Unbox Industries

    I would have sworn by the year 2017 we would have all kinds of cool Terminator body parts that could shoot flames and save MP3s.  While awesome replacement parts aren't readily available at Costco, having snakes for arms like this dude would be super weird and probably not the most fun.  Could you even carry heavy stuff around, like could you get your snakes extra swole at the gym?  And shaking hands would require the person you're greeting to be bit by venomous reptiles, so good luck making friends.  You'd probably take some pretty epic Instagram pics though, which could get you sponsorships from lots of dumb companies that make weird beauty products that no one needs.  See, I took that positive and totally turned it into a negative.  I am in no way shape or form ready for snake arms.

    While I am not responsible enough for serpent limbs, this mummy bro from Brandt Peters and Unbox Industries has adapted quite well.  This is the first painted version of Orion that's ever existed and you can welcome him into your home this Saturday (July 22nd) when he goes on sale at http://store.unboxindustries.info.  Check that site for more info as it pertains to your area of the world.

Giant Vinyl Mockbats from Paul Kaiju x Unbox Industries

   Forget fiberglass, because Unbox Industries is proving that not only can you make giant figures out of vinyl, but it can also be relatively affordable.  These Mockbats from Paul Kaiju are nearly three feet of sweet sweet plastic that are just as articulated as their smaller relatives.  You have your choice between orange, black, and pink and the preorder for them will begin this Saturday, July 22nd, and they will retail for $750 each, which considering their size seems like a great price to me.  Check out the details at http://store.unboxindustries.info to secure yourself one.  Get one just in time for Halloween and take your decorating into the year 2087.

Attend the First Ever Sucklord Artist Lecture

    You looking for something classy to do with your new Whole Food's shopping friends that play in the band who only use antique ink wells as instruments?  This is not that event.  But if you're looking to have a good time, learn the secrets of being an international toy bootlegger, and probably meet other folks of ill repute, then do I have your plans sewn up for Friday night.  The Sucklord is hosting an artist talk at Con Artist Collective in New York.  For a mere $6 you will not only get to hear a world famous artist wax poetic about his life and work, but you also get a free toy and a drink ticket!  It's like buying a Happy Meal but without the heart disease!  Get more info and tickets at https://conartistnyc.com.  

Naomi Knaff is Running a Summer Sale

    The summer is flying right by, which I'm cool with because it is too hot for my blood out there.  I've used gallons of sunscreen so I don't fry like bacon and I've certainly been bitten by enough bugs to have turned into Spider Man by now.  Summer is not all bad though, because sometimes you get to buy cool stuff on sale.  Case in point, Naomi Knaff is running a sale on her website that will give you 25% off anything you want by merely typing in the code SWEATYTOYS at checkout.  Get yourself some crazy resin madness at low low prices by checking out http://www.naomiknaff.com.  The offer is only good for the week so quit your procrastinating.  

Puddle Dunny Rustic Edition from Josh Mayhem

    I've read plenty of times how cotton swabs are the worst thing you can stick in your ear.  Probably not worse than a hot poker, or a hunting knife, but neither one of those is marketed to clean your ears other than by your uncle Bubba from Louisiana who for some reason don't hear so good.  Those padded sticks just push the wax down into the nooks and crannies of your ear canal and it sucks.  I went to the doctor the other day because I was having ear issues and compacted wax was the diagnoses.  The cure was this squirt bottle with a special nozzle that shot a mix of peroxide and hot water in there.  It's not what I would call an unpleasant feeling, but let me tell you the joy of seeing what came out.  Ok, it wasn't joy so much as it was "holy crap, how do I have spare room in my skull for that?"

    I doubt very seriously that Josh Mayhem was inspired by my medical plights as he was the pretty colors of rusted metal, but you never know.  He's releasing these rustic Puddle Dunnys later today (Tuesday, July 18th) at 10 am pacific time only through http://www.joshmayhem.com.  There are 10 different ones sold blind box style with 1 chase version that's a bit different from the rest.

The Clairvoyant Dunny Teal Edition from JRYU x Kidrobot

    The thing about the spirit realm is that you don't get to decide when it's finished with you.  Once words are spoken, once doors are open, your control of the situation is non existent.  You might as well enjoy the ride, for the destination is no longer up to you.

    J*Ryu's insanely popular Clairvoyant Dunny has returned in this gorgeous teal that was voted on by the fans.  This eight inch figure and three inch crystal ball companion will be available starting tomorrow, July 14th, only through select Kidrobot retailers.  Start hitting up your favorite shops to see who will have them and may the fates smile in your favor.  

Bozu Takigyo Edition from Planet 3 Toys x Lulubell Toys

    I learned today that Takigyo is a Shinto purification ritual that is done through meditation under a waterfall.  It is similar to the ritual I do under the shower every morning called "try and build up the strength to deal with crazy people at work."  I should probably come up with a shorter name for it, but as great as the English language is it does have its limitations.  Now the German language, that's something to behold because they have words for just about any situation one might find themselves in.  I don't know any of them off the top of my head, but say that I fell off of my donkey while on the side of a mountain and rolled into a wasp's nest.  Undoubtedly the Germans have one single word that would sum it up so we could all move on with our lives.  

    Planet 3 Toys is celebrating the one year anniversary of their Bozu figure's debut with this marbled Takigyo edition.  You know I love marbled vinyl, so I am crushing hard on the different tones of blue.    Standing three and a half inches tall and complete with a hand made tag, this little dude will retail for $30 each plus shipping when he goes on sale this Saturday (July 15th) at 10am pacific time from Lulubell Toys.  

https://www.lulubelltoys.com