Friday, March 6, 2020

Shub Grub Sofubi Debut from Wonder Goblin

 


    This figure has me torn, because worms are fun, especially the parasitic variety that I try and convince people they have, but so is the otherworldly-ness that this toy clearly evokes.  Do I talk about the dangers of undercooked fish or do I go with the mysterious Lovecraftian creatures that call the darkness home and wish nothing more than to turn our minds to mush?  Never mind, inspiration has struck in superbly grotesque fashion: hydatid cysts.

   Combining the best of both aforementioned worlds, hydatid cysts are sacs that grow in your brain due to the presence of tape worm babies.  They're just in their swimming around in a nausea-inducing sauna that puts all sorts of pressure on your brain and makes you miserable.  If you really want to have a good time you should look up videos of them being surgically removed as the doctors have to do their best not to break them open and unleash those worm babies in your skull.  Anybody else hungry?

     Wonder Goblin is releasing the debut of his Shub Grub figure via lottery system tomorrow (Saturday, March 7th) at noon eastern time.  This version glows in the dark and under black light, is limited to 30 pieces, and priced at $50 each plus shipping.  If this is just the larval stage, a fully grown one might be too much for our reptile brains to comprehend.



Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Emerald Green Sofubi Borealis Kid and More from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys




     Not far from where I live there was a very specific collector who had decorated his front lawn with the objects of his affection. He was in love with glass insulators from power lines, which you've probably passed by in an antique store without paying much attention to. This man was so into them that he built utility pole- like structures around his property to display the thousands of them that he owned. Ranging from completely clear to a rich Pine Barrens green, they stood as a unique display that invited people to pull their cars over and gaze at the depths that the love for collecting can take us. Sadly he passed away and I believe the house was sold to someone who didn't appreciate them the way he did.  They were subsequently removed, leaving the drive down that particular stretch of road way a lot less interesting.



    The Insulator House is the first thing that came to mind when I saw Splurrt's latest update to his popular Cadaver Kid figure. Featuring a new head and arms, the Borealis Kid's melon and clear green vinyl are reminiscent of those relics of our country's infrastructure. Of course, when you have a color this amazing you don't limit its use to just one figure, so he also made a set of his Dokuro Pocket Monsters available in the same hue. These will be exclusively available from Lulubell Toys this Saturday, March 7th, at 9am pacific time. Each is limited to just 1 per household, so you will unfortunately have to find another way to decorate your lawn.




Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Mossy the Moss Spirit from Strangecat Toys x Mumbot



     Growing up in Virginia there were always huge forests to walk in and it remains one of my favorite things to do.  I was probably 13 or so at the time and had just gotten in an argument with my parents, so a walk through the woods seemed like a good idea to clear my head.  I was gone for hours with no real intention other than to ignore my home life and explore what the natural world had to offer.  After some time I came to the remnants of an old house, which was little more than the outline of a foundation, a fire place, and a scattering of metal utensils buried under piles of leaves that I disturbed with a sweep of my foot.  I sat there for a little while, wondering about the people who must have lived there when I noticed a small cemetery just a short distance away.  There, in the literal middle of nowhere, was a smattering of headstones with various degrees of legibility.  I have forgotten what they said a long time ago, but I’ll never forget the sad feeling that they were so well hidden that no one would ever come to visit them.  Now as I’ve gotten older the thought of such peacefulness (not the dead part, mind you) sounds like the most wonderful thing on Earth.  It’s all about perspective.

    Of course no one is ever truly alone in the woods, as there are numerous sets of eyes taking a great interest in you at all times.  Many you would recognize, but what about others that are even better at hiding than the shyest raccoon?  Introducing Mossy the Moss Spirit from Mumbot.  Now I’ve never seen anything like this roaming around, but it wouldn’t upset me if I did.  Strangecat Toys has produced this nearly 5 inch figure in vinyl and are offering up this debut version right now through their website.  Start building your own magical dream forest now by visiting www.strangecattoys.com.

Monday, February 24, 2020

Marbled Slugbeard Lottery from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery




    It's been a long time since we've seen a Slugbeard release, but like an absentee father he has come back around just when you were about to search through the local obituaries. That line to get cigarettes at the corner store really is something else!! And now that I think about it, Slugbeard is kind of asking you for money and a place to stay after not even calling you for your last 25 birthdays. It only sorta hurts to explain to your cats why they have just met one of their grandfathers, no big deal I guess, but you will not promise them that you'll be there to watch the Hoarders marathon on Saturday with them and then no show because you were called in to work at your job with the CIA to avert another national crisis.  

    Toy Art Gallery has a lottery happening right now that will last through Wednesday that gives you the opportunity to purchase one of these bad boys with the gangsta lean from Paul Kaiju.  You want one of these rarities then this is what ya gotta do to get one:

    The Slugbeard Marble Edition retails for $175 and will be released via email lottery starting on Monday, Feb. 24th at 12PM PST and ending on Wednesday, Feb. 26th at 12PM PST. Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Slugbeard Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time. Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Garamon in Meteor Suit One of a Kind Figure from Plaseebo




   When I first read about this figure I had yet to see a picture, so I'm thinking this dude's Meteor Suit is just a fancy way of saying that he was clad in his space get up. That he had tired of this world and was off exploring the galaxy. But it turns out that Garamon was dressed up in the remnants of an actual meteor, which is way different than I would have expected. I have a problem finding pants that fit the way I like and this guy is out here chiseling space rock into something that would probably win Project Runway.

   Plaseebo creates figures unlike any other and it's not just because they all shine like they're burning up in the atmosphere. He can mix and match pieces together in a way that most people would never think of to create something unlike anything you will ever see again. And if you don't act quickly to enter the lottery for this figure he may be nothing more than a memory for you. That's because like most of Plaseebo's work there is only one to be had. Follow these instructions if you're interested in owning him:


USD $250. + $20. for US shipping OR $65. for world-wide shipping.

To enter lottery, please send the following to:   bob@plaseebo.net 

1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address 

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  PayPal Email Address

6.  Instagram ID

Lottery winners will receive notification emails by Sunday February 23rd. Figure will ship from the USA upon receipt of payment due by Monday February 24th.





Thursday, February 13, 2020

Five Inch Rose Gold Dunny from Tristan Eaton x Kidrobot




     You know what's bigger than the Super Bowl?

     Your mom, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

     Ok, I'm better now. Not much is bigger than the football game that determines who gets the shiny trophy (and is for some reason deemed more important than airing a new episode of 90 Day Fiance) so it's a pretty huge deal that Tristan Eaton got to design the program and the tickets for this year's game. Yes, the man who created the Dunny with Kidrobot got one of the highest profile art gigs I can think of, but he hasn't at all forgotten his humble foray into designing the toy world's most iconic platform.

    Tomorrow, which just so happens to be Valentine's Day, is also your first chance to snag this 5 inch metal Dunny clad in stunning rose gold. It features elements from Tristan's world famous mural work and will refract the light in crazy blinding fashion that will make you think you have your own Lombardi trophy right there in your home.  You probably wont get to hoist it a top a fire truck in a parade down main street where you live, but it never hurts to ask.

    Get em at www.kidrobot.com or wherever else they sell fancy toys.  Not the place your mom goes, that's a different sort of thing. 

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

New Ushi-Oni Sofubi Colorways from Cereal Box Toys




    The break room at my job often times looks like people were attempting to combine their lunch with professional wrestling. I cant understand how bits of food manage to end up under the table, in the electrical closet, near-ish to the trash can, under the trash can, on the keyboard attached ro the server in a locked IT room, etc. Naturally, all sorts of little critters get a whiff of those crumbs and are all like "don't mind if I do" and dance their way inside from their otherwise happy outdoor lives. Which then leads to spiders, the natural predator of said critters, dancing their way inside to set up shop and take advantage of the free range buffet dwellers. Their presence leads to screams at various pitches and calls for me to relocate the eight legged opportunists or risk them being squashed under heel. I'd like to think I have a commemorative statue in wherever it is the majority of spiders congregate that describes the amount of their lives I've saved from certain death over the years. I hope they had a good reference picture to use for the sculpture, as I'd rather not have my Vanilla Ice inspired haircut from middle school be immortalized for the ages.

   If this dude made his way into my place of business I don't think he would need much assistance from me, as he appears to be able to handle his own business.  Although, the more I look at him, Ushi-Oni from Cereal Box Toys does have kind of a cute, maybe even sad face.  You almost want to hug him a little, tell him everything is gonna be alright, until you realize he has a skull for a butthole.  You think I'm kidding, then explain this:


  That sure is one way to hide your evil side.  Innovative skull placement aside, I really like this figure, as it is so different from anything anyone else is making right now.  

  This dude is extremely limited in two different colorways and only three figures of each.  They will be $80 and available this Friday, February 14 at 3pm eastern time from https://cerealboxtoys.storenvy.com/