Funko to Create Garbage Pail Kids Products in 2015

    Don't you just love how I summed up everything you need to know in the title of this post?  I totally just freed up your day to do other stuff.  You can finally go outside and power wash that sludge off the side of your house, or teach your cats to do something fun and become famous so you can live off of the ensuing merchandise money they make.  The day has just become your oyster, and you my friend have some pearls that need harvesting.  

X-Files Pop! Vinyl Figures from Funko

    Good lord did I ever have a crush on Agent Dana Scully when I was a teenager.  Not that the X-Files wasn't one of my favorite shows because of the great stories, but Gillian Anderson's character ensured I was glued to my tv every time a new episode aired.  Here's a six degrees of separation story for you:  

    Sharon and I used to be friends with a guy who worked on video games and other intellectual properties.  When he lived in Vancouver his boss was Gillian Anderson's husband (they're since divorced).  This is at the same time when people started cutting and pasting celebrities head's onto random naked bodies and evidently they used to torment this guy every time they found a new one featuring his wife (of which there were A LOT apparently).  How this dude never snapped and killed them all I'll never know, but that's pretty much how the story ended every time I ever heard it told.  I for one would have defended him in the hopes that I got invited over for dinner and could steal whatever I could fit in my pockets that belonged to her.  Ok, I don't steal, but the thought would have crossed my mind.  Though I could have taken her tooth brush and frozen it until they perfected cloning.  Imagine explaining that one to your wife when she asks why there's a toothbrush next to her Hot Pockets in the freezer.   

    Not only do you have to file your taxes next April, but you now have to buy these X-Files Pop! Vinyls from Funko.  Hopefully you get a nice refund so you can get them all and not have to pick and choose which ones you want.  See how I just want the best for you?  

Cinema Monster Alpha from Splurrt to Debut This Saturday

    You're stranded at sea, floating at the will of the ocean's current in your life boat.  Starvation has set in as you and your crew have eaten the last of your rations, and the constant exposure to the sun has pushed you to the brink of madness.  But then, just when it seems that all hope is lost, you spot land.  The glorious site of sand and palm trees reinvigorates your will to live, and you use what little strength you have left to guide your craft to shore.  The feeling of land beneath your feet is better than anything you could ever remember, and your euphoria guides you through the dense vegetation.  There you feast on tropical fruits, filling your shrunken belly to the point of sickness.  And then you hear it.  The most dreadful cry rings out from a creature you couldn't even imagine in your wildest dreams.  The comforting earth begins to shake, animals scatter towards safety, and trees are crushed as whatever this thing is comes closer and closer to you and the other survivors.  Your salvation is now your doom.

   I loooooooooove this new Cinema Monster figure from Splurrt.  He looks ripped from the stop motion world of Ray Harryhausen and ready to feast on some unsuspecting humans.  If you want to welcome this beast into your life you'll get the chance tomorrow at noon eastern time when these go up for sale.  No lottery involved in this one, just the luck of your computer and a good internet connection.  Oh, and you'll need $150, cause that's what he costs.  Buy me one at http://splurrt.bigcartel.com/.  

NECA Buys Kidrobot, Appoints Frank Kozik as King of All Designer Toys

    Thankfully people now have something to talk about other than Bill Cosby, how cold it is outside, and whether Obama is responsible for both.  Yesterday it was announced that uber detailed action figure company NECA had purchased Kidrobot for four magic beans and a Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card (kidding, I'm sure it involved more money than I've ever seen) and that Frank Kozik is the new creative director.  What does that mean for us collector folk?  Well, it probably means that our bank statements are gonna make us a little sadder each month because more of our funds will be diverted into buying cool toys that otherwise may not have existed.  While I'm sure it will take some time before the impact is felt in the product (toy making is slow business) you couldn't ask for anyone better to be in such an important position.  Not only does he create, but he collects, and he's been involved in every aspect you can be in the designer toy world.  Plus, he likes cats and you can trust a man that likes cats.

All City Style Custom Show at PIQ in Grand Central Terminal This Weekend

    New York can be an intimidating place, especially when it comes to the subway.  Not only is it confusing to figure out where you're going, but some of the stations look like they are preparing to film the next installment of the Saw franchise.  My best subway story, which I may or may not have told here before, started off innocently enough.  Sharon and I are standing on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive, and all of a sudden some lady pushes past us in disgust, continuously looking behind her, and mumbling "oh my God" over and over.  We turned to see what had got her in such a panic and no more than ten feet away from us was a grown man dropping the deuce.  Now when you think about pooping, which who doesn't, you picture someone squatting down.  Not this guy.  He was standing straight, sweat pants around his ankles, and growing a brown tail like it was as normal as checking your text messages.  Now try as I might to look away, I just couldn't.  It had nothing to do with the horror of what was happening as much as it had to do with making sure he came nowhere near us.  A man that will poop out in the open on a subway platform is a man that :

1.) is full of germs

2.) is probably a tad unstable and might decide that a stabbing is next on his to do list

    He finished his business, pulled up his pants, and got on the train like nothing was out of the ordinary.  We walked three cars up from where he got on (the recommended distance you should always have between yourself and someone who's committed such an act) and went about the rest of our day unable to speak of anything else.  

     My point behind this story is to say that the subway could use some sprucing up, and I don't mean with the random spattering of Scientologists and American Idol hopefuls it has now.  Bigshot Toyworks remembers a time when you could at least see colorful, albeit illegal, artwork adorning the sides of every train.  So much so that they created the All City Style subway train car so artists now can relive those days when Times Square was more Mad Max than Disneyland, and riding the subway meant getting an art show to go along with your mugging.

    A tone of artists have customized these cars to put on display this weekend at PIQ in Grand Central Terminal.  The show opens November 22nd and will feature tons of artists you know and love.  A listing of participants can be found in the picture waaaaaaaaay up at the top there.  

Sons of Anarchy Mystery Box from Mezco

     Good lord did you watch Sons of Anarchy last night?  Talk about emotional.  I won't spoil it for you in case you have it stowed away on your DVR because you were somehow unable to make time for it when it originally aired (what were you doing that was more important?).  And it's killing me a little on the inside because no one I work with watches it (they're bad people) and I wanna talk about it soooooooo badly.  Especially the brilliant scene when Jax and Nero are talking on the phone.  Uggh just call out sick and go watch it.

     If you watch Sons of Anarchy I'm guessing you're a person that spits danger in the eye.  You don't just live on the edge, you dangle from it with one hand while taking a selfie with the other.  You need a surprise at every turn, and that's why the S.O.A. Mystery Box from Mezco is for you.  It's kinda like gambling, but without the shame of signing over your Ford Focus when the Eagles fail to cover the spread against the Packers.  I'll miss that car.

     For $20 you get two official Sons of Anarchy products.  What will you get?  I don't have the slightest idea, but that's what makes it exciting.  Seven lucky people that order one of these will get an upgrade to a box featuring everything you see pictured above.  That's one for each season the show has been on the air, in case you're ever on Jeopardy.  Order yours from http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.  

Own the Final Battle Rat Colorway from Mike Sutfin

    I always get a kick out of spotting a rat whenever Sharon and I are in New York.  Not only are they the most famous rats in the world, but it always surprises me to see wildlife in the city other than pigeons.  The ones you see are still kinda cute, even though they're covered in muck and would probably steal a hamburger from your kid's mouth while leaving behind a healthy dose of plague.  But you always wonder whats lurking around in the abandoned subway tunnels and sewers that people don't get to see.  Rats that have evolved beyond anything we would ever want to imagine.  Maybe they look something like this.

    Mike Sutfin's Battle Rat is one bad rodent.  At least he gives off that air of badness by dragging that skull around.  It's pretty much the best method for conveying that you are not to be messed with.  You might want to leave it out of your profile pic on your dating website though.  It's best to wait until the third date to bring up your love for carting around the decapitated heads of your enemies.  

     This dude is the final colorway ever of this figure and is up for preorder right now at http://sutfin.bigcartel.com/.  He features some pretty intense paint techniques and you can interchange the heads to suit your moods.  And he's much safer than trying to tame one of those critters you find rifling through the trash in Manhattan.  You only make that mistake once.