Thursday, December 18, 2014

Alice In Wonderland Bedtime Bunnies from Candie Bolton x Peter Kato



    Have you ever thought about just how Alice fell down a rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland?  How big was that freakin bunny that it could dig a hole wide enough to swallow up a kid?  Or was he just an overachiever who was trying to show off his advanced constructing skills? Yeah, I know it's not based on a true story and that its a pretty wacky story overall.  I just want to make sure that there isn't some species of mutant bunnies trying to get rid of mankind on the sly.  What if they're responsible for those sinkholes you always hear about that cars and houses fall into?  I think this needs more investigation.

    Don't let the new panic I've instilled in you take away from this amazing collaboration between Candie Bolton and Peter Kato.  She's given 10 of his Bedtime Bunnies the Wonderland treatment and you could be lucky enough to own one when they go on sale tonight at 6pm eastern time only at http://peterkatoshop.com/.  Each one is $75 and comes packaged like a deck of cards.  


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Purple Butterfly Porcelain Skull from NooN x K. Olin Tribu



    Skulls.  I love em, you love em.  They protect our brains from traumatic injury (most of the time), they give your head a shape much more pleasing than just the blob of skin and muscle it would be without it, and they are the perfect decoration for your palace once you have conquered your enemies (or your front porch to scare away would be sales people).  But what if you want to have, say, a dinner party at your house and your run of the mill skull collection just doesn't fit with the elevated theme of the evening?  Your prayers have been answered, because now you can put away all of those objects the police would like to question you about and display something far more artistic.

    NooN and K. Olin Tribu have just released the latest in their line of porcelain skulls with this one featuring purple butterfly embellishments.  Limited to only 50 pieces and housed in a wooden crate,  these are available to order right now from http://www.artandtoys.com/.  



Lolgolth Gnazgoroth Black and Red Preorders from Skinner x Unbox Industries



    You thought that if you hid under the warmth of your blanket it would go away.  That if you focused your mind on more pleasant things it's existence would cease.  There is no escape from the amalgamation of horror that is LOLGOTH GNAGOROTH!!!!!!

     I actually yelled that when I typed it, and now I think I've lost my voice.  Scared the crap out of the cats that were in the room too.  Now I'm gonna have to go buy them treats to apologize.  I can't help it though, sometimes I just get so intense while writing these posts that I have to vocally bring them from the digital world into the real world.  Sometimes that means I have to assure the police that no one is in fact being murdered in the house, all while not wearing pants.  Have you ever noticed the police tend not to believe you when you're not wearing pants?  Like it's part of their training or something.  

    I showed you pictures waaaaaaaaay back like a year or so ago of this crazy figure and told you about what a beast he was gonna be to produce.  Well Skinner and Unbox Industries must have found an ancient book of manufacturing spells cause the time has come for you to own one of these.  You can pick from red or black or get em both during the preorder period that runs until December 29th or until the amount of toys they've allocated for each color runs out.  They're $125 each, which is waaaaaaay less then I would have thought they would be, given the amount of detail and the amount of virgin's blood mixed into each one.  That last part is not confirmed, but let's just call it fact anyway.  Preorder yours now at http://store.unboxindustries.info/ 





Solar Stare Ultrus Bog from Skinner x Lulubell Toy Bodega



    We're doing some fascinating stuff in space right now.  We landed a little doohickey on a comet, we've got a Power Wheel on Mars driving around and finding ancient organic chemistry (like historical meth or something?) and the new Star Wars movie has got the whole world a buzz.  Space is the place to be and be seen.  But like your mom, space is vast and filled with unexplored areas our feeble human minds couldn't dream of.  What lurks there, waiting to enslave us?

    Could it be Ultrus Bog, that horrible beast that sprung forth from the mind of Skinner?  I dunno, I don't even know what is in my basement.  But I know that I love Ultrus Bog and you can love this new Solar Stare version from Lulubell Toy Bodega.  Time is running out though, because preorders went live for this dude yesterday, and will end in six days.  Six days!!!!!!!!!!  Cross someone off of your Christmas list that you really didn't like anyway and buy this for yourself.  




Friday, December 12, 2014

"Toxic Goldfish" Toxigon Lottery from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore



    You know whats a weird popular thing online that I don't think anyone ever saw coming?  Zit popping videos.  And these aren't your run of the mill teenage grease pockets either.  I'm talking about giant-sized, cottage cheese gushing skin maladies that would challenge even the strongest stomach to get through.  Some of these videos have views well into the millions, making them on par with a new Taylor Swift video, and just about as watchable.  

   Just once I'd like for them to open up some giant growth on a dude's neck and have Toxigon pop out.  He looks like he'd be quite comfortable marinating under your skin until he was ready to wreak his own special brand of havoc on the world.  This "Toxic Goldfish" paint scheme really makes him look like some crazy biological anomaly that will one day have it's own daytime television commercial asking anyone who has experienced giving birth to a Toxigon to call some phone number and join a class action lawsuit against the makers of some new drug after it is determined that this crazy demon dude is the side effect of those pills you take just to be able to leave the house everyday and not freak out on people.  

    "Have you or someone you know taken the drug Prozac and as a result had a terrible hell spawn climb out of a skin blemish causing you extensive personal damage as you try to be the best parent anyone has ever been to such a hell-spawn even though his taste for flesh and vengeance on an unsuspecting world was greater than your capacity to love?  If you answered yes, you may be entitled to compensation.  We have lawyers who are also demonologists ready to take your case."

    Getting one of these beasts is actually a lot less painful than having one grow on the side of your neck.  You just have to enter a lottery and cross your fingers that you get picked.  Starting today (Friday, December 12)  at noon eastern time and lasting until tonight at 11:59pm eastern time, you can enter your pertinent details at http://www.mutantvinylhardcore.com/.  There are only 25 of these dudes to go around, so the winners will be announced on Saturday and invoiced for the price of the figure, which is $200 plus shipping.   

    

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Toy Art Gallery Presents: Christmas Kaiju



   I'm a man with a lot of beliefs.  I believe we shouldn't have to pay for health care.  I believe the Flyers will win the Stanley Cup before I die.  I also believe that your holiday decorations should be so awesome that you just leave them out year round.  I'm not talking about your Santa Claus lawn inflatable or your snowmen bath towels, I'm talking about decorating with your collection.  Let Toy Art Gallery help introduce you to the world of permanent decorations during their Christmas Kaiju show this Friday.  All of your favorite artists have created stuff so amazing you won't have the heart to pack it up and forget about it 11 months out of the year.  Plus, it will save you time because you are always prepared for any festivities that may happen at your house.  Do you see what I do for you?  I'm better than Dr. Phil at improving lives.  Check out the list of artists below.




Resin Ornament Sets Featuring Argonaut Resins, The Jelly Empire, and Laura Alvarez



    I guess you could be lame and buy some Honey Boo Boo or Duck Dynasty Christmas ornaments from Wal Mart to fill your tree this year, or you could buy something much cooler and that won't make your family question your ability to feed yourself.  

     Argonaut Resins has created these holiday ornament sets in collaboration with The Jelly Empire and Laura Alvarez just in the nick of time to save your Christmas decorating blunders.  Each set comes with three sparkly handcrafted ornaments and will be available for sale starting tomorrow, December 12th, at noon eastern time.  Pick up a set or two at http://argonautresins.bigcartel.com/.