Ultra Time Suck of the Week: The Hobbit Lego Game

    I need to go to full on Lego video game detox.  These games are like visual crack.  I beat the story of the game in no time and all would have been well and good but then my obsessive side kicks in and I am determined to get every little thing in the game and finish it at 100%.  I'll promise myself I'm only gonna play for a half an hour when I get up and the next thing I know is it gets dark again and my wife comes home to find me sitting on the couch, eyes blood shot, and muttering about how I just need to play a little longer to get the blacksmith plans to make the mithril fireworks bow to give to the elf so 

he'll give me the red brick that gives me twice as many studs that I can then turn around to spend on new characters that I will never play as but I need them to fill the blank spaces on my roster.  Send help.  

SDCC Exclusive Astronocchio from Dave Bondi x DKE Toys

    I know what you're thinking:  What would it look like if Astro Boy and Pinocchio had a baby?  I also know the other things you're thinking and frankly, I'm kinda grossed out.  You should talk to someone about that.

    DKE is releasing so many exclusives for San Diego Comic Con that I can barely keep up.  Dave Bondi made this little resin mashup of two of the world's most famous artificial dudes.  Oh, the hijinks that will ensue when a robot and a pathological liar are joined in one body!  I'd watch that cartoon.  

SDCC Exclusive Ceramic Statues from Robin Van Valkenburgh x DKE Toys

    I love going to estate sales.  Not only can you find some amazing stuff on the cheap but it's kinda fun to snoop through people's houses without fear of the cops being called.  Yeah, so people clean up before you get there and throw out the most scandalous stuff that may or may not indict them in criminal or at least questionable activity, but it still feels like you're doing something wrong which makes it fun.  I think all the crap I own would make a pretty killer estate sale, but the jokes on you cause when I die I'm having the whole house burned down with everything in it.  Unless my wife is still alive, then that would be in poor taste.  Then she'll have to make sure it's torched when she goes.  It's the ultimate collector's dream, to ensure that no one else ever gets your cool stuff.  I'm takin my toys to the pearly gates, son!

   This is the kind of stuff I would kill to find at an estate sale.  I love the crazy ceramic work of Robin Van Valkenburg and these two new figures will be exclusives from DKE at San Diego Comic Con.  These would make great additions to my future funeral pyre.  

    

Lizzie: The New Resin Figure from Peter Kato

    Lizards get a bad rap.  Most of it I feel is due to that Godzilla character who's always stomping on poor Tokyo and leaving a general mess of things.  Most lizards will never be mutated by radiation and wreak havoc on our infrastructure, but all we ever see are the one's that are behaving badly.  What about all of their humanitarian efforts?  You never hear about that stuff because the media is biased. 

    Just look at these Lizzies from Peter Kato.  They look more apt to ask you how your day is going than to step on your brand new Buick.  These are the types of lizards that would help you clean up after a particularly messy get together, or offer you sound financial advice when determining just how to invest your 401k.  Each one is completely hand made and limited to 15 pieces for this inaugural offering.  Get one for yourself this Thursday, July 10th, at midnight for $35 from  http://peterkatoshop.com/.

Infected Smorkin Labbits from Frank Kozik x Scott Wilkowski

    I'm thankful that this toy brings to light a serious issue, possibly the most serious issue, that is affecting our society today.  It unwittingly raises awareness for the dangers of animals smoking.  Hundreds of forest fires every year are caused by raccoons and squirrels that have come home from extra long shifts at their jobs, only to fall asleep on the couch while watching Naked and Afraid reruns and puffing on a menthol.  Not to mention he countless possums and chipmunks who, in a fit of coughing from years of tar buildup, are unable to make it safely to the other side of the road.  These tragedies can be avoided if we are willing to hold the tobacco companies accountable and put a stop to their over-aggressive marketing to woodland creatures.  

    Smoking also makes the bone structures of bunnies look kinda freaky, as evident in these Infected Smorkin Labbits from Frank Kozik and Scott Wilkowski.  These were made for a comic con release many moons ago, but Frank found a bunch of them while he was packing up to move to his new studio.  The few remaining pieces will go on sale today (Monday, July 7th) at noon Pacific time for $150 each.  These are only available at www.frankkozik.net. 

Toy Tokyo Exclusive Red Batmobile Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    If you're lucky enough to ever be in New York City you could wait in line for hours to go to the top of the Empire State Building, fight through crowds of very confused tourists in Times Square, or you could skip all that stuff and go to the greatest landmark the city has to offer:  Toy Tokyo.  I'm not blowing smoke either, Toy Tokyo is my favorite store in all of New York.  Even though I've been there a handful of times it never ceases to make my draw drop and turn my brain to mush with the shear amount of things I want.  Sharon just holds stuff up and I nod and drool and that's how we know what to buy.  Seriously, this place does not suck and nothing will have ever made you wish you were rich so badly.  

   And Toy Tokyo has all the hookups, so they get cool stuff like this exclusive Red Batmobile Pop! Vinyl set from Funko.  Now, they are doing something really different for this release for those of you that will be trying to order online.  It will only be available (in limited numbers mind you) at this new website they set up:  http://toytokyoexclusive.com/.  Don't try and go to their regular site, cause there will be no Batman for you.  There all also other things that you need to know about this release, and for that info I direct you to https://toytokyo.com/blogs.  Seriously, you better read it if you want one.  These drop tomorrow (Tuesday, January 8th) at 2pm on that special site I just told you about a few sentences ago.  You got this.  

SDCC Exclusive Butt-Face in Space from Falcon Toys x DKE

    You know what's great about DKE?  Just look at the picture, cause everything important that you need to know about this toy is right there for you.  There's nothing for me to get wrong.  I can now focus my attention on being snarky, which I'm a lot better at than rehashing facts.  

    I suppose if you had a butt for a face, outer space might be the appropriate setting for you.  You'd be pretty much by yourself, except for those guys at the space station, but from what I understand it's pretty easy to avoid other folks in the cosmos with it being all endless and whatnot.  And if you were to have a butt face you probably aren't that good at making friends, since people aren't going to just let that go unnoticed.  As if you weren't aware you could make your chin fart! 

   Butt-Face in Space is the creation of Falcon Toys and will be exclusively sold at this year's San Diego Comic Con.  I want to give DKE serious props, as they are focussing their efforts on limited run, hand-made items, which is pretty cool.  Not only will you get something truly unique, but you'll be supporting artists who aren't afraid to take risks.