Gold Sparkle Uglier Unicorn and Shaggy Little Unicorn from Rampage Toys x Tenacious Toys

    Genetics are a great roll of the dice.  Do you ever see a couple that looks like they may have been raised by a family of possums but they have offspring that are beautiful?  The reverse happens all the time too, making you wonder whether someone is letting the waters of their gene pool fill with leaves and dead frogs.  For the love of God cover it with a tarp!

    It's a good thing this Uglier Unicorn from Rampage Toys is at capacity with inner beauty, because his mug is way closer to bridge troll than Brad Pitt.  His companion Shaggy Little Unicorn is all pretty on the outside, but darkness fills her every nook and she will cut you.  These pals are cast in gold sparkle sofubi and are an exclusive to Tenacious Toys.  Unfortunately just like when you have to partner up in science class, the pretty ones are already all gone, but the ugly dude can't wait to breath on your neck while you dissect that frog.  He is like, the nicest guy I swear, and at $35 a fairly cheap date.   

Get him now at www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Voltar Resin Figure from H H Toys

    H.H. Holmes was America's first serial killer and was hung by the neck for his crimes in what is now the parking lot of a grocery store in South Philadelphia.  He is not to be confused with H H Toys, who while also being from Philadelphia have chosen to ply their trade in resin figures rather than murder.  While they may not have a fancy metal placard outside of the super market, the making of toys is more likely to keep them off the gallows.  Except in Texas, as their laws seem deliberately vague to fuel the lucrative death row industry.  Think about it: one trip to the chair is like running a thousand inefficient air conditioners in hundred degree summer heat.  I ain't payin that bill.

    Himmelstass Heimbach Toys are unleashing their latest creation, Voltar, on Wednesday March 29th.  He comes complete with a crystal ball filled with all sorts of information about your future.  Like a casino buffet some of it is good, some of it is bad, but most of it will give you gastrointestinal distress.  This first edition is limited to just 50 pieces and can be found on the aforementioned date starting at 8pm from https://www.etsy.com/shop/samheimer.

Danger Mascot Resin Figure from Tenacious Toys

    It's strange to me that people think because you have cats that you obviously don't like dogs.  I love dogs, I'll have you know, and in fact there aren't any animals that fall outside of the realm of parasites that I don't like.  Even leeches are ok in my book, though my wife is still fighting me on using our basement to farm medical grade leeches for use in hospitals.  That part of the house is pretty much going to waste instead of working for us as a lucrative vampire worm business/tax write off.  

   I don't have the time nor the resources to dedicate to a real dog, but this resin mascot from Tenacious Toys would be a perfect substitute.  Based on the logo illustration from Playful Gorilla, this 2.5 inch figure was sculpted to perfection by Nemo and cast in Tenacious blue by resin wizard Dead Hand Toys.  There will be more colors in the future, but this one will be an open edition to help spread the love of the world's hardest working online toy retailer far and wide.  

    These are available right now for $25 from www.tenacioustoys.com.  

A Plethora of New Releases from Forces of Dorkness

   I love the word "plethora" and try to use it whenever I can as it makes me sound like both a gentleman and a scholar.  And a plethora is the only way to describe this amount of new releases from Forces of Dorkness and the different colors they come in.  Is that Bart Simpson in an R2-D2 outfit, or R2-D2 parading around with Bart's severed head on his dome.  I'm not trying to live your life, so you decide when you pick up one of those little resin dudes for the beyond reasonable price of $19.95. 

    Need some spiritual enlightenment but also obsessed with hunting down Han Solo?  Buddha Fett has the answer to these and even more of life's great mysteries, like how come my cat can stomp around on my remote and get the tv to do things I can't figure out?  He's way smarter than me.  Bring peace to your soul for only $25.00 

  Hahahahahahahahahaha I love this.  Behold, gaze into the confines of the blister pack and look upon all the craps I give.  See how it is empty?  Hahahahahahahahaha.  The perfect gift for the internet troll in your life finally exists, but will they get the not so subtle hint you're throwing down?  Who cares, because them getting it doesn't make it any less funny.  And for only $9.95 you can't find a better deal to turn your haters into your motivators, whatever that means.  Do I have haters?  I had taters the other night and they were delicious and they motivated me to go use my rowing machine.  

   Find these and other treasures at http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com.

Tamashii Nations S.H. Figuarts Action Figures from WWE

    When I was a kid, the only wrestling toys we had were these giant rubber dudes with zero articulation and their only move consisted of banging into each other.  There was also a ring you could buy which added such exciting moves as "bouncing off the ropes to bang into each other" and "flying off the top rope to bang into each other."  It was the least amount of action in any figure ever.   Fast forward to the present and things have changed quite a bit, though I doubt anyone is going to let their kids play with these.  

    Tamashii Nations has added the WWE to their line of S. H. Figuarts action figures and the results are pretty awesome.  Featuring a mind blowing 30 points of articulation and interchangeable parts, each figure can not only perform all of the classic finishing moves you love, but do them with impeccable style.  Bluefin has made these available in North America and right now you can relive the famous rivalry of Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock.  Hit the People's Elbow, land a Stone Cold Stunner, or just have them cut awesome promos on each other (awesome promos not included).  And later this week you can add Triple H to the mix because you know Vince McMahon loves a triple threat match whenever he can get one.  The Undertaker and Kane will be available starting in July, giving you nearly enough to plan out your own Royal Rumble.  Pick em up now over at Ringside Collectibles. 

     

We're Number 1.....Well Actually We're Number 69!

     Feedspot recently announced the top 100 toy blogs in the entire world and guess who landed at the coveted spot of number 69?  That's right, we did.  And there has to be way more than 100 toy blogs on the planet I would assume, so even just making the list is pretty cool no matter where you fall on it.  Kidrobot's blog landed at number 28, which you may or may not know often features my ramblings about their latest releases.  And no, I did not collude with any foreign entities to up my position on the list and the Congressional hearings will serve to exonerate me of any wrong doings.  

    You can check out the rest of the top 100 by clicking here.  

Tuddy and Inklin Vinyl Figures from Annie Montgomerie x Unbox Industries

    There is no reason to keep making toys everyone, so you can all go home and focus on other endeavors, because the mic has been dropped and the mold broken.  Well, I hope the mold wasn't actually broken because a lot more of these beauties from Annie Montgomerie and Unbox Industries are gonna need to be made.  Now normally I'm not ok with animals having people hands and legs, but these two are just so dang adorable I'm not gonna let my hang ups stop me from loving em.  I would not be surprised if they emerged from my basement holding hands and singing a song about skipping our way to Narnia.  Actually that would surprise the hell out of me being that my crack team of attack cats study pro wrestling like it's their job, which it sort of is.  So let me rephrase:  I would not be surprised if my cats found these two roaming around the house, placed them both in the camel clutch, and made them state their business under penalty of a choke slam through a table.  After which we would of course skip to Narnia.

    Both will be available for preorder starting on March 25th until April 10th.  Each vinyl figure is hand painted to mimic Annie's original anthropomorphic creations in striking detail.  Get yours from http://store.unboxindustries.info.