This could be the best movie ever. A man on the run from the police for a crime he didn't commit stumbles into a fetish party to escape pursuit, when things go horribly wrong. Shots are fired, people scramble, and the police think they finally have their man. Not so fast though as he grabs the person closest to him as a hostage and makes his way through the Paris streets, trying to buy time to clear his name. The woman in the red rubber cat suit not only becomes his biggest supporter, but the love of his life in...."So I Kidnapped a Girl from a Fetish Party But I Didn't Commit That Other Crime You're Accusing Me Of."
Yeah the title needs a little work, but I think I have the basics down for a box office winner. I just made all that crap up cause I can't quite read the small type under the picture, but I think I did an ok job. The figures of 3A are easily to be inspired by and making up your own scenarios is half the fun. You can grab this Hampstead Latex and French two-pack tomorrow (March 6th) exclusively at http://www.bambalandstore.com/ for $240.
If you've ever been lucky enough to work retail in an area where bad winter weather happens then you have most likely experienced the phenomenon know as snow people. While you may have never heard the term you have undoubtedly witnessed what it describes. These are people that only come out on the worst, snowiest days in order to shop. You will never have seen them before, they will resemble mutants, and they only make brief public appearances during storms. You'll be leaning against the counter, complaining about how anyone with any sense would have closed their store by now and be safely at home, and in walks a gaggle of snow people. Maybe they like to take advantage of uncrowded stores. Maybe they like to only use their four wheel drive Mad Max vehicles under the most extreme conditions. Maybe they all have warrants and assume the police will be busy pulling minivans out of ditches. It's hard to say but they are real and they are giddy at the first sign of sleet.
These Merryners figure from Doubleparlour x Toy Art Gallery look ready to slap on the snow tires and grab some bargains. I'm not gonna lie, they kinda scare me in the same way I get twitchy if I have to wait in line at Wal Mart too long. The longer you're there, the greater the chance you'll get bitten by some feral rat child. I've seen it happen.
And just like Wal Mart, I am able to look past being frightened when presented with an incredible bargain. You could buy one of these 7 inch figures for $45, or get all four of em as a set for only $150. That's a savings of $30 when you buy the set! These go on sale today at noon pacific at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.
Have you been watching Gotham? I've been enjoying the show myself, as it's a much different take on the whole Batman universe than we're used to seeing. The show has introduced just about every villain you can think of, though as of right now they are just strange little kids who have yet to realize their full psychopathic potential.
They're kind of deceiving, like these Vinyl Vixen figures from Funko's new Vinyl Sugar division. Sure they look all innocent, but one day they'll leave a pile of bodies in their wake that's not nearly as metaphorical as those of the average woman. All three of Batman's favorite ladies will available everywhere this month.
You know what's genius about this bank? It's the same color as the only money I have. These cats are expensive son. I've never seen creatures eat the way they do, or that were as hell bent on destroying all my stuff. I don't know what they're insistent on acting like your mom's second husband, but it's killing me financially. I wouldn't even bother putting my money in this bank because by the time it hit the bottom it would already be spent on cat food or that fancy litter they insist upon that costs a day's wages per bag. Can a brother get a telethon?
But this Modern Hero bank from Mad sure is pretty to look at, even if the only thing you're storing in it is dust. It's a beast at 18 inches tall and this copper colorway is limited to only 30 pieces that go on sale today over at http://www.madtoystore.com/.
You know what I got sitting on the shelf in front of me as a type this? One of Joe Ledbetter's Business Monkeys from Munky King. So how do I already have one and they're not even on sale yet? I can't tell you all my secrets son, but what I can tell you is that this sucker is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and you can get yourself one before anyone else this weekend as Munky King will be running an Instagram contest. So if I were you, and I wanted a monkey with sound financial knowledge, I would go and follow Munky King on Instagram right now. I'll be doing a proper review of this guy next week that may or may not include taking him somewhere that he can spend all those dollar bills in his hand. Actually, I'm just gonna try and pay my credit card statement with them. Gonna make it rain in Wal-Mart boooooooooooooy!!!!!
So this morning I woke up to surprise snow. Nowhere in any weather report that I watched this week did it say it was gonna snow here, but that sure didn't stop a few inches of the stuff from making driving a challenge as I took my wife to work. I know that meteorology is supposed to be a science but I'm not buying into that any more. No one's perfect, but every time it has snowed this winter it has either been a complete surprise or the amounts were so drastically different than what the weather people said that I could have just asked one of my cats. I think that it's all a conspiracy and that meteorology is nothing more than an amateur form of witchcraft. I think after they invented names for the clouds they just gave up and started casting bones and gazing into scrying glasses. And let us not forget the big deal that they make about a ground rodent seeing his shadow and predicting when spring will come. Science, are you there? I'm gonna go and catch a weather person and see if they float when I dunk them into the lake.
The beautifully painted resin of these Kings of Atlantis skulls probably hold some secrets of their own, but hopefully they're a bit more accurate that channel 10. Argonaut Resins enlisted the help of Clinton Yaws to bring these to "life" (Get it, cause skulls are a symbol of death, lol. Oh morbid puns you slay me! I did it again!!!) My favorite is the Easy Rider one cause I like that movie a lot and it seemed like everyone was having a good time in it until the end, which is oddly the point when good times usually go bad. And you can't beat a movie where motorcycles are just as important as the main actors, though I did thoroughly enjoy wacky Jack Nicholson.
You're gonna wanna go ahead and click on that video you see there to set the proper mood for this toy review baaaaaaaaaaaaaby. That's right, just move your cursor over to the play button, press it, and let the smooth sounds of Marvin Gaye prepare you for what it sure to be the greatest, and I mean greatest, thing you will see all day. Are you ready? Is your soul in the mood for love? If you said "yes" then I'm gonna need you to scroll down a little further so the festivities can begin....
Oh dang, you didn't see that coming did you? But to each his own I suppose, cause these wolves shouldn't be ashamed of how they express their love, even if it's more Lil Wayne than Marvin Gaye. You've never seen a toy like the one that Luke Chueh and Munky King have created here. Provocative is the first word that comes to mind, which is not a bad thing by any means, because most of the time good art is exactly that. And being that this toy is taken directly form one of Luke's paintings (you can kind of see it on the box in the back round) it captures all of the meaning that the original work had. Now, what that meaning is I have no idea, but that's not gonna stop me from sharing the one's I came up with:
- The larger wolf could be the IRS while the smallest one represents my disappointment at my refund this year
- Or he could be the government in general, who has labeled us all as sheep and who takes great pleasure in metaphorically screwing us at every turn
- They could be a perfectly normal couple who have decided to spice up their relationship by playing dress up (I always try to get my wife to dress up as Margaret Thatcher when she cooks dinner. That's probably more to do with a head injury I suffered as a youth football player though)
What I dig about this toy is that it pushes boundaries of what a designer toy should be. It's kinda cool to have to think a little bit beyond whether or not something is cute while at the same time having to look past whatever awkwardness we may feel about our in-laws knowing there are two plastic wolves makin puppies on our entertainment centers. The term "art multiple" gets thrown around a lot when describing designer toys but there are very few that I could expect to see for sale in the gift shop of a modern art museum. I think this one fits that bill, from the toy itself to the slim packaging.
Now I know some of you may want to buy this toy cause you like it but fear having to explain to your young children exactly what's going on here. I get that your house may be more Disney than National Geographic, so I have taken the liberty of utilizing the convenient 3 piece construction to create two alternate scenes you can use to avoid all birds and bees talk:
In this scenario, two wolf friends are attending comic con. One has chosen to dress up as his favorite character Super Sheep, while the other has just complained the whole time about waiting in line. While rushing to get to the next long line the crabby wolf trips over someone's fake sword and falls on his face, much to the hilarity of his costumed friend. End scene.
In this next one, the two wolves and the sheep are enjoying a festive spring break at the Jersey Shore, when all of a sudden one of them makes eye contact with some meathead's girlfriend. Having just downed a protein shake and 13 shots, the meathead delivers a brutal uppercut to the one wolf, while his friends get ready to do battle. So many spray tans were ruined that night. End scene.
Those are just two quick ones for you, but the possibilities are endless! And they're also interchangeable with all of the other editions, so you can mix and match em however you like. This original version (that takes its color scheme directly from the painting) will be available early in March from www.munkyking.com. They are limited to 500 pieces and will retail for $69 (I see what you did there you cheeky little monkeys).
