Asphaerius Purple and Yellow Blanks from Yuck Toy Co.

   It wouldn't take much to convince me that the entire planet is part of some alien reality tv show where they keep upping the ridiculous level to see how long we'll last.  Just when I think things can't get any dumber it seems like someone is listening and turns up the volume on the stupidity meter.  If you want specifics (and are not teetering on the edge of oblivion) just turn on the news and fear not that the circus will is no longer in business, it just became an every day event.  

   The best therapy for these troubled times is of course retail therapy, because the pills and the hour long conversations aren't as much fun as adding to your toy shelf.  Why not do so with an extra terrestrial being courtesy of Yuck Toy Co?  Sure, he may be at home watching the demise of our civilization as a form of entertainment, but that doesn't mean ol Asphaerius here isn't a swell guy.  And standing at ten inches tall he's the perfect edition to your vinyl toy basketball team that will undoubtedly propel them to the championship that has been just out of reach the past four seasons.  

    Choose from either purple or yellow or leave the headache of choosing to other people and buy both over at http://yucktoyco.bigcartel.com.  

  

Wonder Woman Signing Event with Tara McPherson at myplasticheart

    I remember the first time I met Tara McPherson.  It was in New York at the now shuttered Kidrobot store for the release of her Bubble Yucky Dunnys.  My wife and I stood in line for about an hour and a half in the snow and sub freezing temperatures for the chance to see one of our favorite artists.  Now a days you kids have it easy, what with your comic conventions and whatnot, but back then you had to suffer mentally and physically to take part in an event like that.  And I still only have the pink one and have searched in vain to get its blue companion at a reasonable price.   Not to mention any time there is a chance Sharon and I will have to wait in line for anything she brings up the fact of having almost died to buy this Dunny.  She isn't a big fan of the cold.

   According to the weather app on my phone, it will be a mild 54 degrees during her signing this Saturday at myplasticheart, so you are in no danger of frost bite.  This event is in celebration of her beyond beautiful Wonder Woman figure from Kidrobot, of which I eagerly await delivery of from our esteemed postal service.   I won't be able to attend her signing, but for anyone that can all of the info you need is right there in the picture.  

    

The Final Kookie No Good from Scott Tolleson x DeKorner

    Though some things seem like they will never end (the Trump presidency comes to mind) everything will inevitably reach its conclusion.  The lights go out, the curtain falls, yada yada yada.  That time has come for Kookie No Good, and you can help usher him into that special place where toys go when there are no more variants to speak of.  Scott Tolleson and DeKorner are now offering the final version of this little fortune cookie with a penchant for depression.  Made of sweet Japanese vinyl, you can own this farewell edition right now by visiting http://dekorner.bigcartel.com.  May he finally find the happiness in the great beyond that has thus far eluded him in our world.

    On a side note, I am now offering my pre-obituary service to anyone who doesn't trust their loved ones to write something nice about them at the time of their demise.  I'll make you sound like the greatest person that ever lived, and upon your expiration will even submit it to the newspaper of your choosing.  I'm kidding of course, unless you think this is something that I could really cash in on, which in that case I am open for business!

Warrior from the Jade Galaxy from Unbox Industries

    Thirty years from now when some Hollywood studio decides to remake the Alien vs. Predator film, these four figures would be a great jumping off point for the story.  Imagine some Indiana Jones type walking through a night market in Taiwan.  He walks past the stands and people selling their wares, yet he sees none of it.  Something pulls at him with unseen hands, guiding him through the throngs of shoppers.  And then he sees it: a heavily laquered cherry wood box, ornately detailed with gold inlay.  He reaches down and unlatches it, revealing four grotesque jade figures unlike anything he has ever seen.  He picks one up to admire it and the way the moonlight fills it's every detail has left him in a near trance.  It isn't until the stall owner speaks that he is able to break his gaze:

  "For a price, I can take you to where I found them."


     Then some stuff happens, everyone dies, blah blah blah.  You get the gist.

    I'm not saying these are the greatest Alien and Predator toys of all time, but they've certainly set the proverbial bar a tad high for anyone after.  Created by artist Tik Ka From East and produced by the wizards at Unbox Industries, each figure is hand painted to look like actual jade.  The effect is so realistic they look closer to the stone that inspired them rather than the vinyl they're made of.  You can preorder them right now at http://store.unboxindustries.info/ for $255 a set.

Broke Piggy Presents: The Shard Dunny Custom Show at Designer Con

    

    A few days ago Sharon and I decided it was time we started watching Stranger Things.  That was on Monday night and as of this writing we only have three episodes to go before we finish them all.  Now when I binge watch a show I get completely lost in it and start making weird connections between the fictional world and this one.  Take this Shard Custom Show that Broke Piggy has put together for Designer Con.  It's a show within a larger show, which wouldn't be a parallel dimension like the Upside Down, but would be like a completely miniature version of a universe identical to ours living within our universe.  Designer Con would be the crunchy cookie of the Oreo while the Shard Show would be the creamy filling.  Thinking about crap like this is why I neglected to wash dishes yesterday and my wife had to eat her yogurt with a spatula.  Love ya, babes.

    Scott Tolleson's stone bro Shard Dunny is getting extreme makeovers from all of the artists you see listed above.  Previews of their work has popped up online and I've collected a mini gallery below to feature a few, but the big shindig is this weekend in California.  These are all one of a kind, but both Scott (booth #525) and Kidrobot (booth #518) will have exclusive versions available for sale in greater numbers, so check them out if you're there.   See more at booth #527.  

   

Designer Con Exclusives from 3DRetro

    Seeing these exclusives 3DRetro has in store for Designer Con makes me wish I was able to go.  But it's cool, I'll just be at work ignoring my responsibilities while perusing social media to see all the fun you're having.  And if you're not going just know you won't be the only one gently weeping into your cell phone.  Make sure you have a screen protector that's not cracked because tears of envy void the warranty.

     First up is this utterly stunning Jade Clairvoyant Dunny from J*Ryu and Kidrobot.  By far my favorite version of this figure, I first spotted this during New York Comic Con and it looks so much like actual jade you expect it to be cold when you touch it.  It's a beautiful piece of plastic that's limited to only 100 pieces and at $100 will be one of the big hits of the show.  Perfect for storing any ancient spirits you may have lying around the house that you just don't know what to do with.  And in case you're wondering it's never to early to shop for your favorite toy blogger for Christmas.

    Look at these little jawns from Gary Baseman!  Yeah, I said "jawns" because it is a part of my vernacular and soon midwestern housewives will be saying it the same way Beyonce made them profess that everything "slays", which is dumb by the way.  If anything was ever a jawn it would be these mini figures sold in blind packs of two (one of each figure) for only $4 each.  You can't pick the colors you get, but you can choose to eat one less convention center hot dog to afford them.

    I tried to skateboard when I was a kid but I had this really strong fear of falling and knocking out my teeth that prevented me from reaching my potential.  My fearlessness didn't kick in until my 30's and now I think it's fun to spend a week in the woods looking for bear just for the chance to watch them.  They're really impressive outside of a zoo setting when they're just doing their thing and wondering why some weirdo just traversed a hill to take their picture.    And of course now I can't skateboard because I don't heal as quickly as I used to and I don't want to be the old guy at the mall carrying around a skateboard that he obviously didn't just buy for his kid.  

    This guy's name is Moe Hawk (I see what you did there) and he was created by KRK Ryden.  Get one for $60 and live vicariously (and safely) through him.  

    This is Anesthesia, and she is rather haunted looking.  For real, this looks like it was found at an estate sale and is about to start up a five film horror franchise.  Which is why I like it.  Doktor A sculpted this lady and named her after the best sleep you'll get without having St. Peter look you up in his book.  And I loooooooooove a good patina, which this figure has plenty of to keep me happy.  I'm not sure how much it is but Designer Con only comes once a year so don't be a baby about financial stuff and think about how great it's going to look on your mantle.  

    All of this and more can be yours by visiting booth #532

  

    

Horrible Adorables Exclusives for Designer Con

    Horrible Adorables are bringing their whimsical road show to Pasadena, California this weekend to be a part of Designer Con and they're not coming alone.  Their car will not be getting optimal gas mileage because it will be loaded down with tons of soft critters ready to be adopted to collectors.   And speaking of soft do you see those squishy little dudes up there?  I've been seeing stuff like this in stores and I think they're supposed to help you release stress in a constructive way that keeps the cops from getting involved.  Just watching this GIF has made me feel more relaxed already, so this is some powerful stuff they have going here.  I wouldn't use one of these while operating heavy machinery.

 Take a gander at what else they'll have to offer and if you happen to be at Designer Con swing by booth #809 to say hello and buy one of everything:

Simon Resin Figure from Creepy Hill

    This is Simon.  Despite his lack of muscle structure or skin he looks like a nice little dude.  I have no idea what his back story is, but I would imagine that he lives in a creepy old house that was recently purchased by a nice family.  Their youngest child, we'll say his name is David, is playing in the basement one day when a jar rolls out from beneath the staircase.  He picks it up, turning it over and over in his hands trying to see what's inside.  It is filled with a mysterious smoke that obscures his view, but being a young and curious boy he carefully unscrews the lid.  It opens with a pop and out springs a mysterious creature that is only a blur as it scurries back to the darkness beneath the stairs.  David is startled, even a little frightened, but he leans down and peers into total blackness.  Just then he hears the "click clack" of long boney fingers as they crawl across the floor towards him, and out from the void two huge, eyeless holes stare back curiously.  

     Ok, that's all you get until I secure my publishing deal.  I love the work of Creepy Hill and as you can see, I am very inspired by their latest figure.  Standing four and a half inches tall and made of resin, you can welcome Simon into your home in two different fashions.  For those of you like me who want to take things from the box and immediately put them on the shelf, there is a fully painted and assembled version for $129.  Or if you're more into the DIY scene there is a less expensive version that comes in two pieces and is completely devoid of paint for $80.  Either way, I love this little guy and you can too by visiting http://www.creepyhill.com.  

Leatherface 1/6th Scale Figure from threezero

    I've been into horror movies since I was a kid and in the spirit of Halloween I've been revisiting a lot of them with my wife.  Many of them are new to her because they were never really her thing, and watching them anew with her has given me a different perspective on a lot of them.  Even though some feature now iconic characters, the films themselves are not always that great.  Some are campy by accident, some on purpose, but as far as an actual scare factor most fall short.  That is, except for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  I chalk it up to the way that it was filmed; like some gritty, horrible home movie that no one was ever intended to revisit.  The scenario is realistic enough that it makes you think twice before stopping in any town where the population is advertised as less than five hundred.  I'm beyond not interested in helping a family of cannibals achieve their food pyramid goals.

    The film looks real, so it only makes sense that threezero would put their famous attention to detail to work when recreating Leatherface.  Available for preorder now as an eerie 1/6th scale collectible figure, their online store has two versions for you to choose from.  There's the standard edition, which will still make your guests very uncomfortable when they come to visit, and their exclusive web edition which comes with extra accessories.  

Get yours at https://www.threezerohk.com.

     

Halloween Releases from Jermaine Rogers

     There's nothing like a graphic that comes prepared with every bit of info you could need about  new stuff.  At this point Jermaine Rogers has done all of the work to tell you about his Halloween releases, so I could just phone the rest of this in and go do other stuff.  I have trash that needs to be taken out that has developed an aroma unique of it's individual components.  There are always litter boxes to scoop, tumble weed-like hair clumps to sweep up, or my favorite past time of sitting in the shower and trying to come to terms with the fact that I have to go to work.  The hot water never lasts as long as my uncertainty.  So yes, while Jermaine Rogers has told you about both glow in the dark pins and even informed you about his glow in the dark resin figure, all of which will be available at 3pm eastern time today exclusively from www.jermainerogers.com, I still feel it is my duty to "spice" it up a bit, lest I be accused of taking the easy way out.  So here ya go:

    I'll chalk this one up as a success.  

Black Light Purple Baphomaniac from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    "Whatcha gonna do brother,when Baphomania runs wild on you?"  No, seriously though, what would you do?  You think I was just asking that question because I love to partake in gimmick infringement and collect cease and desist letters?  Cause I don't.  I am worried about you and I don't want some evil entity catching you on the sneak and entering your body with bad intentions.  So here's some helpful tips to help you avoid demonic possession:

- Avoid all abandoned houses unless it is in broad daylight and you are with a priest.  With a gun.

- Avoid reading books that are bound in human skin.  Even though Amazon may offer then at unheard of prices, that free two day shipping just means you'll be in the Devil's clutches that much sooner.

- Listen to Taylor Swift songs repeatedly.  Demons may be evil, but they can only put up with so much.  I'll retract this statement if Ms. Swift were to sing me the Arby's menu in it's entirety.  The ball's in your court, blondie.  

  The life I save may be your own.

    If you were to invite forces of darkness into your life how about with something like this Baphomaniac figure from Martin Ontiveros and Toy Art Gallery.  Way safer than any relics dug up in the Middle East, this bro will bring delight/curses to all who touch his shiny vinyl exterior.  Available today (Friday, October 27) at noon pacific time for $80 exclusively thorough www.toyartgallery.com.

Acid Green 18 Inch Aliens Warrior from Super7

    Halloween isn't just about turning your lights off and pretending not to be home to prevent freeloaders from taking all of your snacks.   Nope, it's also about treating yourself to some new toys to make you forget about your seasonal depression and the ball of snot that has lodged itself in your head until spring.  Super7 is making it look a whole lot more like Christmas with this Acid Green Alien Warrior figure.  Standing 18 inches tall, this plastic beast will be going on sale Halloween day through www.super7store.com and their retail locations.   Tell the neighborhood kids to get jobs and buy yourself this instead of candy.  

    

Misfits ReAction Figures from Super7

    I haven't used this picture in a while to describe a toy, so let's dust it off and let it express how I feel about these:

   That's right folks, these Misfits ReAction figures from Super7 have warranted the coveted and desperately cute hungry otter meme.  I give it out sparingly to prevent it from losing that wow factor, but here it is describing my feelings perfectly.  Thanks little buddy, I hope you were able to get the ice cream sandwich of your dreams.  Unless they're not good for otters, then I hope he was able to be given a just as delicious substitute.   

     This Halloween you can snag both versions of this epic collaboration when they go on sale at www.super7store.com and at their retail locations.  Now if only they'd play a reunion show in Philadelphia, all would be right in the world.  

Veg-A-Bow Wooden Figure from Cameron Tiede

    I need one of these little dudes to keep at work for when I have to deal with unreasonable people.  When someone starts going off the deep end like it's the first time they've ever left the house, I'll just pull this guy out of a drawer, set him down in front of them, and wait.  I don't believe that anyone can continue to be hateful when confronted with that face.  If you can then there's little hope for you and you should proceed to the nearest cave to live out your existence.

    May I present to you Veg-A-Bow, the happiest little wooden figure you ever did see.  Sprung from the mind of Cameron Tiede, she comes with a print so you get a double dose of cuteness and is even articulated at the neck via a magnet.  This toy is sunshine and you need it in your life.   Get one now by visiting www.woodcandyworkshop.com.