Friday the 13th Releases from doubleparlour

 

    There is no better way to celebrate Friday the 13th than hacking up a bunch of teenagers at an abandoned summer camp, I mean with new releases from doubleparlour.  Silly me, how I get confused sometimes and mix up holidays with plots of horror films.  I know Friday the 13th isn't technically a holiday, but if we're gonna continue and kid ourselves by giving Christopher Columbus a day when he showed up to America waaaaaaaaaay after Leif Erikson, then I can declare every Friday the 13th a holiday.  And so it is done.  Get yourself some goodies from doubleparlour starting at noon pacific time to commemorate this new and glorious holiday.

http://www.doubleparlour.com

Stingy Jack Swirl from Brandt Peters

    "Be still my heart, for thou beatest too fast at the sight of marbled vinyl!!!!!!"  That was taken from an unreleased Shakespearian play about a cobbler whose real dream was to one day produce multi colored vinyl toys to win over the nobleman's daughter, until she was tragically killed by a rogue gang of circus clowns and he spent the rest of his life becoming Batman and avenging her death.  I found it on The Bard's official Tumblr, which he somehow still updates much in the way Tupac still releases new music from beyond the grave.  Supposedly JJ Abrams has signed on to direct as he wants to focus on art pieces after Star Wars.  Can't learn this crap on TMZ.

    Now that it's become painfully obvious I've taken too much of my medication this morning let us quickly get to the facts before I really lose it.  Brandt Peters' Stingy Jack is not only sporting a killer swirl of colors that I love in a completely non platonic way, but he also glows in the dark!!!!!!  It's almost too much goodness.  And they're very limited with only 50 available worldwide and only half of those in North America via Circus Posterus this Saturday, November 14th (Tomenosuke will take care of the rest of the earth.)  A few will also be available at Designer Con booth #519.  

"Don't Cuddle the Krampus" Kickstarter Campaign from Warpo

   This toy is called "Don't Cuddle the Krampus" but I know none of you are gonna pay attention to that and snuggle the fur off of him anyway.  You're always out there cavorting with dark entities after buying that occult-inspired shirt from the clearance rack at Urban Outfitters.  Do your thing, I ain't mad at you.  And really Warpo should have known that no one can resist hugging Santa's evil little friend if they're gonna make him so dang adorable.  

    I love this time of year because I know Krampus is coming and is gonna beat some bad little heathens with sticks.  If that was a tv special every Christmas I would lose my mind.  You could make it like Scared Straight, where parents sign up their little monsters cause they've been bad all year, and then the scary goat man comes out and whoops em.  You could put that on pay-per-view and be instantly rich.  Can anyone help me make this happen, because I am seriously all about it.

    Ok, first you should support Warpo's Kickstarter for this dude, then you should give me whatever money you have left over for my show.  This dude is a cool riff on the classic My Pet Monster toy, but unlike his predecessor, this one comes with three snot nosed kids who think they're tough one minute, until you flip em over to reveal how aware they are of the beatings to come.  Just the thought of some little punks, plush or not, getting put in their place is enough to make me smile (hey, I used to work in a mall for many years, I've done my share of suffering due to unruly kids).  

    You can support the campaign, and get yourself some pretty amazing rewards, by clicking on this link.  

Nerfect Artistic Novelties Presents "Krampug" for Designer Con

    You know what's wrong with kids?  Well, it's a long list, but the main thing is that they feel entitled.  We've all witnessed the epic meltdowns they have in a store if they aren't allowed to get something.  They throw a fit, their parents buy them a new iPhone, and the transformation into horrible person is nearly complete.  And we're too delicate with them too.  We want them to behave themselves so someone invented a stupid elf that moves around the house and supposedly creeps on their every movement.  That smiling little idiot doesn't inspire the fear that children need to not act like butt clowns.  Which is why I am so happy that here in America Krampus has finally been brought to the attention of mainstream culture.  You wanna act like a zoo animal?  Well, this is what's gonna happen to you:

    Go ahead and try to take a selfie while riding in a basket attached to the back of a goat man, it's just gonna be blurry and probably won't get many likes.  

    Let's go back to the first picture though, that contains the rather more adorable Krampug.  I guess dogs need an incentive to not be jerks all year too.  He is the creation of Perfect Artistic Novelties and is an exclusive to their booth (#1025) at this year's Designer Con.  Each one is hand made and ready to keep your furry friends in line.  

    

    

Naomi Knaff is Bringing Resin Madness to Designer Con **Updated**

    You ever watch that show Monsters Inside Me where the people are all like "I was totally having the worst headaches and when I went to blow my nose all of these weasels fell out"?  It's never actually been weasels, but how cute would that be?  Or a guy could have some growth on his leg and out popped a kitten. Unfortunately it doesn't ever turn out to be that.  It always involves some worm-like critter that makes your life miserable for a bit before a heavy dose of antibiotics and some usually very disgusting occurrence serves to rid you of it.  Or as I like to call it, Saturday night.  

    The resin creations of Naomi Knaff make me think of what bad dreams would look like if they could take a physical form and be surgically removed.  That is probably the highest complement I've ever paid anybody, because I love them.  These are our bad thoughts manifested into hyper-color monsters and should be preserved in pickling liquid and put on display in curiosity shops, where they will have a warning never to open their jar under penalty of law.  Kinda like a mattress tag but with more immediate and dire consequences.  

    Naomi is bringing her insane creations to this year's Designer Con and can be found at booth #724.    If you're going you should see her work in person because like most things on the internet, the pictures don't do them justice.  

UPDATE!!!!!!!!

    The two figures you see below are custom paint jobs courtesy of Tru Slithers and they will also be available.  Pretty sick!

Brand New Figures and More from Cop A Squat Toys at Designer Con

    You know what always sucks as a kid?  When you're at the toy store, and you convince your mom to get something new, but she has the nerve to limit you to one figure.  Now this isn't a tragedy if it's a dude from a toy line you've been collecting, but when it's something brand new then it really sucks.  I remember when the Ninja Turtles figures came out and I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEDED them so badly and I finally begged my way into one and all I could get was Donatello.  Now who in the hell was he supposed to fight against?  I couldn't get Shredder, or a member of the Foot Clan, so here I had this awesome new toy with no one for him to do battle with.  Was I supposed to pretend that he was part of the Star Wars or GI Joe universes?  I wasn't about crossing brands like that.  So basically I had this turtle who I would just pretend was putting karate demonstrations on for kids and telling them not to do drugs.  This explains a lot about the person I turned out to be.

    You're not gonna face those issues I did when you purchase the new Fumetsu figures from Cop A Squat Toys.  That's because he's not a sicko and will be selling them in sets of two.  So whether you play cops and robbers or intergalactic tag team wrestling, you'll be squared away.  These are gonna debut at Designer Con for $150 per set at the Lulubell Toys booth #926.  You'll also be able to purchase an exclusive Semi Korosiya figure for the well-affordable price of $70.  Get them deals, son!

Lazy The Resin Sloth from Benson Wong

    Most people look at the sloth in a negative fashion.  If you exhibit any signs of laziness you will inevitably be called one, and I get it because they don't move with any sense of urgency.  But what if you looked at it a bit differently.  What if the sloth wasn't lazy at all, he just really doesn't give a crap about what anyone else says and is content to do his own thing?  Now, this isn't an excuse for you to live in your mom's basement until you're 40 because getting a job would impede on your ability to leave comments on Reddit all day, so don't try and use that argument.  But we could all take the sloth's example, thumb our nose at convention, and move to the cliche beat of our own drum.  Even if said drummer has the rhythm of a broken washing machine.

   This sloth from Benson Wong might be named Lazy, but unlike most girls in the mall, he still had enough energy on to get dressed and not just wear whatever he rolled out of bed in.  You can get yourself one of these leisurely resin dudes by visiting this link.  

Mister Melty (Super Creamier Edition) from Buff Monster

    Sometimes I think of making my own resin figures.  I've got plenty of ideas for little dudes to sell you at a premium and I feel pretty confident I could work out the mechanics of it.  The problem is that I would be all gung ho buying the supplies but then they would just collect dust in my basement.  I'd take out the trash, or buy cat food, or do one of the thousand other things I think of on my days off and would eventually forget I even have the stuff.  It's my curse, which as far as curses go is probably not that severe.  I could get violently ill every time a WWE pay per view is on, or I could be allergic to Slurpees.  See, gotta focus on the bright side of things.

    Buff Monster obviously has no scheduling issues as he has created a butt ton of resin Mister Meltys for this release.    These are called the Super Creamium edition and each one is unique and comes in a hand painted box.  These are available starting today at 10am eastern time from www.buffmonster.com.  Only 40 exist in the whole wide world, which ain't that many when you think about how many people are gonna want one.

"It's a F.A.D." Funny from J*RYU in Kidrobot Exclusive Patina Finish

    You see this tombstone here?  I have no idea who this lady is, but I feel we would have been great friends.  It all has to do with my belief that she planned to have her final resting place adorned with super sick patina.   Now I have more reason for thinking this than just being a nut ball, because I took this picture in Laurel Hill Cemetary, which was actually created as a tourist attraction by who else, the Victorians.  So I figure the people buried there really put some thought into giving visitors something cool to see and remember them by.  This woman was acutely aware of the oxidation process and knew that years down the road, the patina covering her marker would increase in how bangin' it was.  That's some thinking I can get behind.

    I am completely in love with this toy, admittedly a lot has to do with the sick finish that everyone knows I'm so fond of, but J*RYU and Kidrobot really outdid themselves with this Dunny in every aspect.    I love how the figure is not necessarily a character, but is focused on the various ornamental details covering it.  Just go ahead and throw out some of your other toys to make room for this monstrous 20 inch beauty.  Or better yet sell em off, cause something this stunning, and large, don't come cheap.  It's gonna run you $500, which is a little too rich for my blood, but I desperately wish it wasn't.  In fact, my new goal in life is to get to a place of financial security where making such a toy investment would be like buying a loaf of bread.  Maybe I should give that nice man a call that offered to harvest my kidney a few months back.  Hopefully he's cleaned the place up a little and stopped letting the goats sleep in the operating room.  I better have my tombstone picked out just in case.

    You can only get this edition from www.kidrobot.com, or their locations in San Francisco and Las Vegas starting this Friday, November 6th at 9am MST.

Help Kickstart the "Calliope" Stop Motion Film from Circus Posterus

    The work of Kathie Olivas and Brandt Peters has always occupied a twisted world much different than any we know.  They've shown you glimpses through their various toy and print releases, but you've been left to use your own imagination to fill in the blanks.  Now they have the opportunity to take their creativity to the next level, encompassing not only sight but sound, in a stop motion animated film.

    The thing about stop motion is that even for a short film it is very expensive to produce.  If you've ever seen a behind the scenes feature on how they're made then you have an appreciation for the amount of work that goes into it.  That's why they have launched a Kickstarter campaign to help, literally, bring this whole project to life.  There are some pretty killer rewards for the art and toy collector alike, featuring exclusive figures, prints, and much much more.  Take a gander below at some of the crazy stuff you could own while helping to make this film.  Support the campaign at this link.

Christmas Releases from Kidrobot

    Halloween is now two days behind us, which can only mean that it's time to be bombarded with Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't know how people ever forget to shop until the day before because everywhere you turn someone is reminding you that it's coming up.   Christmas is your vegan friend who keeps leaving their brochures from Peta all over your house.  

    Though it can start to inflict blunt force trauma on your very being, Christmas is also a fun time that you get to spend with your family, eat beyond what is socially acceptable, and a day to show off just how great your engineering skills are by assembling the most complicated toys know to man.  Oh, and there's presents, which I will remind you I accept all year round whether it is marking a major holiday or not.  

    Something that's on my perpetually growing wish list is this new Dunny from Frank Kozik and Kidrobot.  This dude is trying to bring to light the hostile working conditions that North Pole Elves are facing this time of year as they are pushed beyond the limits of their little bodies in an effort to make unreasonable deadlines.  You can get one for yourself and ask him how the arbitration is going starting tomorrow, November 3rd from www.kidrobot.com.  Just don't be surprised if he sets up a giant inflatable rat on your front lawn.  

    You know what's great about these DIY Munny ornaments?  They already look good, so any lack or artistic ability that may be hindering you is totally a non factor.  Just pop em out of the box and onto your tree and wait for your cats to knock them down and shove them under the fridge.  Your experience may vary.  These are also available tomorrow in a handy 5 pack.  

Halloween Releases from Plaseebo

    How has no one made an independent horror film with any of Plaseebo's creations?  If any of these three were after you, even if it was to just trying to return your cell phone that you left in a restaurant, you would not stop running until you died of exhaustion.  Then they would probably crawl inside your lifeless corpse and devour you from the inside out.  Especially the mouse looking one, he just screams "I'm feeling snacky for human flesh."  

    These three one of a kind figures will be available on Halloween at 12am eastern time only from http://www.plaseebo.net/.  Now excuse me while I got nail all of my doors and windows shut.  

Weird Ways In Which People Find This Website

   Haven't done one of these in a while, but when a few people out there have stumbled upon my website with such an odd search criteria, it deserves a mention.  Apparently, three of you found your way here by looking up "Zack Ryder Japan."  For those of you not familiar with the world of professional wrestling, Zack Ryder is a WWE Superstar who does have an impressive collection of wrestling toys.  Now whether he's been to Japan or not I have no idea, because for some reason we don't hang out.  Call me Zack, my readers demand it!  

Even More New Releases from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    My wife won't let me have this toy.  It's my own fault really, cause when I first saw Zug the Troll he wasn't wearing his fancy loin cloth and his twigs and berries were hanging out for all to see.  I made the joke that if I got one of these I would, every so often, snap a picture of his ding a ling and text it to my wife.  Here's how it would play out:

Sharon:  I miss you.

Me:  I miss you too.  But you know what else?

Sharon:  What?

Me: "troll ding a ling pic"

Sharon: I'm not speaking to you.

    It's kind of like the next level of Deez Nuts jokes and I thought she would be proud of me coming up with such a great innovation to a classic that also involved our toy collection.  Now I'm gonna have to buy her shoes.  

    All kidding aside, this new figure from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore is pretty intense.  Dude looks like he would have no problem gnawing the meat off of your bones if you dared to pass over his bridge.  He's making his debut tonight in both painted and unpainted versions.  And you don't even need to enter a lottery to get one.  All you have to do is visit http://store.mutantvinylhardcore.com at 8pm eastern time and pray that your Wi-Fi holds up.  

    Oh you thought that was all?  Nope, cause tomorrow night Sam Heinous makes his once per year appearance.  Also releasing at 8pm eastern time, this guy looks hellbent on bringing the tricks rather than the treats (Didn't that sound like I could almost work for Buzzed there for a second? )  I have a feeling a lot of people's credit cards are going to be screaming for mercy by the time this week is over.

Tricky Cats Blind Boxed Figures from Kidrobot Releasing Tomorrow!

    As you may or may not know, I have a few cats.  Not that you could tell from all the pictures I post on Instagram, or the patches of hair that stick to my clothing not matter what I do.  I love those little buggers and they certainly make life more interesting, like the fact that you never know what state of disrepair your house may be in when you return home from work.  Or if you'll roll over on your side trying to get comfortable in bed and find a hair ball staring you down as if it's ready for a turf war (That happened two nights ago and as proof that I'm totally getting better with not being freaked out by germs I just rolled the other way and went back to sleep.  I was reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallly tired and was hoping it was maybe just a hallucination.  SPOILER ALERT: It wasn't)

    Just in case you had a pile of kittens turn up in your backyard and you're trying to place them in loving forever homes, I'm gonna have to let you know that we are as overcrowded as America's prison system.  The only cats we are currently accepting as new residents are of the plastic variety who respect that sanctity of antique furniture and carpeted staircases.  And lo and behold, we have some fitting candidates here in the form of these new Tricky Cats from Kidrobot.  These things are so freakin cute you'll be tempted to use your small animal/human baby voice as you tickle their wittle bellies.  

    These are packaged blind boxed, so just like real kitties you won't know what you get until they become adult bobcats and you're in your closet, cell phone in hand, begging animal control to come and get the thing before it finishes you off.  You only make that mistake once.  These will be available starting tomorrow, October 30th, on www.kidrobot.com for $9.99 each.  I call dibs on the Halloween dude.  

"Rotten Gourd" Marbled Sludge Demon from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore Available Tonight

    Very few things in life make me happy.  There's my wife, my cats, cable television, grilled meat products, Slurpees, professional wrestling, and marbled vinyl.  God I love toys that are made with a multiple colors of plastic.  They give me a special feeling deep down in my soul each time I gaze upon their beauty.  You can't tell me you're not in love with these Sludge Demons from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore the way I am, and I'm so in love with them that I won't ever tell my therapist about it because he may try to have me committed.  

    I sure don't!  Especially being that these beauties are dropping tonight at 8pm eastern time over at http://store.mutantvinylhardcore.com.  There will be unpainted versions for $75 and painted ones for $85.  They don't let you have access to the internet or your credit cards in the nut house.  At least that's what I heard anyway, it's not like I've been or anything.  Stop judging me.  

Lonely Dark Lady TQ from 3A

    I'm still pissed at George Lucas for going back and putting that garbage into the original Star War trilogy.  Especially being that the computer generated nonsense added exactly nothing to the films other than the feeling of fine grit sandpaper in my undershorts.  But this figure from 3A has given me a great idea for something to change in The Empire Strikes Back.  You know that pivotal scene where Vader tells Luke that he is his long lost father?  Let's revise it a bit:

Vader:  "Luke, I am your father."

Luke:  "No. That's not possible."

Vader:  "I know, right.  And to be honest I left you and your sister not to focus on my evil career, but to become the person I always knew I was inside."

     Vader then rips off his bulky outfit to reveal his new, streamlined, ladies body.  His light saber becomes a stripper pole and he flaunts what his space credits bought him.  

      End scene.

     You know that's a Robot Chicken sketch waiting to happen.   Hit me up Seth Green, and let's make sweet magic.
               
    October 30th is the date to get your hands on this 1/6th scale beauty from 3A and the only place to do that is http://www.bambalandstore.com.  Your childhood will never be the same.

Check Out This New Figure From Javier Jimenez: Dorobanii the Jackalope

    Since the dawn of time, people have ben obsessed with sticking animals together to create new ones.  It's kind of a weird thing to do, but people seem to get a kick out of it.  From the Fiji Mermaid, which is half monkey half fish, to two-headed monstrosities featured in sideshows, we just can't get enough of tinkering with critters.  One of the cuter biological mashups of there is the jackalope, which for the uninitiated is a rabbit with antlers that can be found stuffed and ready for sale in all the best roadside souvenir shops throughout the american southwest.  Thankfully, someone has finally created a much more adorable version that doesn't require a two parts roadkill and one part super glue.

    Javier Jimenez's latest creation is this adorable little jackalope named Dorobanii.  You can check out his whole backstory by watching this video:

    He is available as we speak in the two different versions you see above.  There the regular edition, and a special Halloween edition that is limited to only 15 pieces.  These little resin dudes are only available from http://www.stickupmonsters.bigcartel.com.