Ultrus Balrog from Skinner on Sale Today

    This is the reason I don't have kids.  Kids are always wanting stuff like new shoes, and lunch, and books for school.  I want to buy stuff for me.  Maybe if kids were actually good at cleaning and being quiet I would have a few, but until they step up their game I'm gonna stick to being selfish.

    Since I don't have kids I can actually contemplate buying stuff like this.  It's the Ultrus Balrog from Skinner!!!!!  He combined two of my favorite things:  Lord of the Rings and freaky plastic things and the results are spectacular.  He only hand painted 10 of these suckers and he could have just left it at that.  But no, the Skin Man (that sounds creepy) went and laser engraved 10 Ring of Power replicas to go along with them!  Where did he get a laser?  I don't know, probably Craigslist, but that's not important.  The important thing is that these go on sale today at noon Pacific time at http://shopcriticalhit.com/collections/toys.  Starting now I will begin accepting donations so I can buy one.  You know you love me enough to help.

Prehistory Fossila from Super7

    Super7 is making a new line of figures known as Destroy All Kaiju that take us back to the days of gigantic monster figures from Japan.  Not only is this dude some crazy dinosaur, but he's also looking rather undead and menacing.  How do you kill something that is already half rotten?  Thankfully his arms are still stubby so if you make fun of him enough he might just go and hide somewhere, too embarrassed to wreak any more havoc on the world.  Sissy.

    You can buy one of these dudes on March 14th at noon Pacific time for $95 from www.super7store.com.

ARThropod Brain by Tokyoplastic and Emilio Garcia at Toy Art Gallery

    Emilio Garcia is obsessed with the human brain.  First he added frog's legs to one and created the Jumping Brain.  Then he made a skull out of a brain.  Now, he is making bugs out of brains.  While that may be an over simplified description of his work, it does give you an idea of what will be on display at his new art show.

    Opening tomorrow at Toy Art Gallery in Los Angeles, ARThropod Brain will feature tons of 2D and 3D representations of his love for the organ of thought.  Good thing he wasn't a hug fan of the liver, because that just wouldn't translate well.  

    To commemorate the opening of the show, Outsmart Originals have created this Skull Brain t-shirt.  They will be making their debut at the gallery and hopefully be offered for sale afterwards to those of us that cannot attend.

Super Series Sunday Release from Taskone and Tenacious Toys

    I can't even draw a stick figure that would be considered nice, so when I see someone sculpting figures that look this amazing I am truly impressed.  And a bit jealous that my artistic abilities are limited to being able to write my own name. 

    Taskone is the newest artists to be featured in Tenacious Toys ongoing Super Series Sunday releases with these insane Muppet figures.  Each one is hand painted and will be released blind boxed in waves of three.  You can buy one random figure for $40 or get yourself all three of them for $100.  If you're bold and daring you can purchase an entire set of 18 figures plus an extra special chase figure for $600. The first 3 of the series will be available this Sunday, March 10th at 4pm Eastern time.  Subsequent releases will happen on March 24th, April 7th, April 21st, May 5th, and May 19th.  

Android Lucky Cat Series from Shane Jessup

    We all could use a little more luck in our life.  Maybe you need some extra help getting rid of that mysterious rash that popped up seemingly out of nowhere.  Maybe you need to win the lottery and pay off that scary Italian guy before he can fit you for concrete boots and introduce you to the bottom of the local fishing hole.  There are always a plethora of reasons we need lady luck on our side, so having a box full of these guys scattered around the house couldn't hurt.

    These Lucky Cat Android figures were designed by Shane Jessup and come packaged in nice little window boxes so you don't have to buy 30 of them to get the ones you really want.  Everybody that sells cool toys is now taking orders for these kitties and they will ship out in a few weeks.  So hopefully that rash doesn't spread and that lasagna you made for Vinny Knuckles will appease him long enough for you to have these delivered and their magic powers to kick in.  

Lulubell Toy Bodega Exclusive Bones Figures from Mike Egan

    Death has never looked so festive!  Lulubell Toy Bodega is offering these two exclusive colorways of Mike Egan's Bones figure for preorder starting tomorrow.  Each one is $60 and they will only be available for a 48 hour period.  They will then make however many are ordered, so you are guaranteed to get one as long as you stop your procrastinating and get your cash money ready.  These dudes are made of soft vinyl and stand about 8 inches tall.  Check out http://www.lulubelltoys.com/ at noon Pacific time tomorrow to reserve yours.  

New Resin Heathrows from Frank Kozik Release Today!

     I guarantee you it will take me longer to write this than these guys will be on sale.  You have to be an internet sniper if you want to buy anything that Frank Kozik puts up for sale.  You have to take the day off from work, eat a lunch loaded with both protein and carbs, and have the nimble fingers of a juvenile factory worker when it comes to typing your credit card number.  I would start training now.

    The brand new resin Heathrows you see go on sale today at noon Pacific time only at www.frankkozik.net.  Both are limited to 13 pieces each and come with mind blowing swirly action.  Seriously, I have one of the past editions of these guys and I stared at it like I had been huffing paint fumes my whole life.  The Redrum Edition complete with axe and bad attitude will be $120 while the Blueberry Swirl Edition is an even $100.  Each one is hand made by the man himself and comes bagged with a signed and numbered header card.

Luftkaiser Painted Yellow Edition from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    I love this guy.  In a strictly platonic way mind you, but it's still love none the less.  This is the first time one of Paul Kaiju's Luftkaiser figures has been painted and you can get one of them today!  For a mere $60 you can have this 4 inch tall evil German bat looking dude delivered to your door.  He goes on sale at noon Pacific time today at shop.toyartgallery.com.

Bad Apple White Exclusive from Mighty Jaxx and Cardboard Spaceship

    This is by far my favorite version of this figure.  There's just something about it being all white with that bright red hand grenade that really makes this piece pop for me.  Mighty Jaxx created the "Bad Apple" figure in collaboration with Goin and this version will be exclusively available through Cardboard Spaceship. Only 50 of them were made and they're gonna run you about $100.  They will be for sale on March 11th, so if your stuck at work grab your smart phone and take a break on the john long enough to get one.  Not that I've done that before.  A lot.  

Injustice Figures from DC Collectibles

    I'm not big on the whole fighting game genre myself, as I have too many bad memories of broken controllers and holes in the wall when Mortal Kombat didn't go my way.  Now that I have nicer things I don't really need to revisit anything that can infuriate me enough to throw my possessions about.  So the idea of playing the new Injustice: Gods Among Us game makes me a tad nervous, but that doesn't mean I can't buy all of the toys and have my own battle royale in my living room.  One in which the stupid computer controlled characters never win and I remain undefeated.  

    DC Collectibles are releasing these guys in packs of two cause duh, who would they fight otherwise.  Next month they will release Wonder Woman and Solomon Grundy along with Deathstroke and Green Arrow. 

    Then in June you can get Harley Quinn and Cyborg.  You all know I love Harley Quinn, but I am not feeling this design.  She looks like she's gonna do a rain dance.  Every year when I go to comic conventions she is the character people dress up as and screw up the most, so maybe this is fitting.  She looks cool in the game, but it didn't translate well to plastic.  

Toasted Mini Marshall from 64 Colors x Rotofugi x Squibbles Ink

    You know what's a bad idea?  Standing too close to a pile of burning trash while wearing ripped jeans because you were a cool kid in the 90's.  And if you're going to make that mistake ensure that your underwear would not feature anything that could embarrass you in front of  your friends should you need to remove said jeans and stomp out the inferno that burned your leg hair off.  I will never forgive you Bart Simpson!

    You know what's a good idea?  Toasted marshmallows.  And diversifying your investment portfolio.  But mostly toasted marshmallows.  64 Colors have enlisted the help of Rotofugi and Squibbles Ink to bring this little guy to life and/or near death.  These little guys will be available starting today at 11am Central time from http://www.rotofugi.com/ and http://www.64colors.com/ for $9.95.  

Death Cap (Amanita Must Scare You) from We Become Monsters

    These guys would make a great PSA for the dangers of taking psychedelic drugs.   I can picture a group of kids sitting in a garage, listening to Black Sabbath (not the Grateful Dead, they are insufferable)  and downing some magic shrooms.  All of sudden they kick in and these guys come swarming down the walls, crawl into their ears and noses, and devour their brains.  Not that those anti-drug campaigns ever work, I just think it would be a cool commercial.  

    These Death Caps are the crazy spawn of We Become Monsters and are available in 18 different random colors for only $22 each.  That's a great price considering each one is handmade and painted.  There are also 4 glow version for $25 each and 4 cold cast bronze dudes for $45 each.  These guys will be available on March 7th at noon Eastern time and each order comes with a free micro slab figure! Get em at http://webecomemonsters.storenvy.com/ 

Tomb Raider Mini Mates from Diamond Select Toys

   Tomb Raider is back!!!!  The world's first pixelated pin up girl Lara Croft has a brand new game coming out so you know they had to make a on of other stuff to get all the drooling nerd boys to fork over their cash.  Diamond Select Toys will b releasing a new line of their popular Mini Mates figures featuring the fetching treasure hunter along with other characters from the game.  Looks like two of them are still super top secret, so you'll either have to get the game or be patient until the figures release this Summer.  

My Little Pony Flash Drives from Mimobot

    If you're an avid reader of this blog (and why wouldn't you be, I'm delightful) then you would know I've already shown you these in my Toy Fair pictures.  But since my skills as a photographer are not the best I thought I would refresh your memory with some better images to make you swoon.  Commence swooning.

    Mimobot has made My Little Pony flash drives!  I didn't realize that there was a whole legion of dude fans that are completely obsessed with this show.  When I was a wee little lad we played with fake guns and whatever we could find in the woods, so this is a bit foreign to me.  But there's no judgement here (actually, there's a lot of judgement, but carry on).  Now you can store all your pony fan fiction somewhere you'll never lose it!  These guys are available right now from http://www.mimoco.com/.

Yolo Mesh by Kyle Kirwan x Tenacious Toys

     Is this or is this not one of the freakiest little toys you've ever seen?  If you ever see a dude that looks like this out and about there are two things you should do.  The first is to turn the other way and run until you can't feel your legs.  The second thing is to schedule a doctors appointment and get a full psych evaluation because you're probably in desperate need of medication.  

    Yolo Mesh is the frightening creation of Kyle Kirwan who may or may not be disturbed (he's probably a nice guy, but I'm not taking any chances)  He will be available this Sunday as part of Tenacious Toy's ongoing Super Series Sunday line of exclusive resin figures.  You can pick one up starting at 5pm Eastern time and as soon as he arrives to your door he will start whispering bad things in your ear.  That may or may not be true.  

Keep Watch Bank from Mishka x L'amour Supreme x Blackbook Toy

    I'm bad at saving money and I'm not sure this would help.  While this is a giant eyeball piggy bank I cant see myself dirtying it up by actually putting change in it.  It would be a good place to hide other stuff, like your internet passwords you can't remember, or that map of where all the bodies are located so you have some leverage when the police come knocking.  

    Yes, you read correctly, this is the best piggy bank the world have ever known.  It is of course the Mishka "Keep Watch" logo eyeball thingy and it was designed by L'amour Supreme and produced by Blackbook Toy.  Your first chance to get one of these will be at the 3rd anniversary of the Mishka Tokyo store on March 9th.  If you can't make the trek out to Japan you can buy one online March 11th from http://www.blackbooktoy.com/SHOP/13045.html.  See how easy I make this for you?  All you have to do is pay for it.  

Porcelain Skull Brain by Emilio Garcia x K. Olin Tribu

   I've been on a skull kick recently.  There have been some really cool skull based designs from artists out there and it makes me want to refocus my collection a bit.   How cool would it be to have an entire display case devoted to designer skulls?  Sure, my therapist would probably have a thing of two to say about it, but for what I'm paying that guy it wouldn't hurt him to agree with me every once in awhile.

    This would be a really great place to start my new morbid hobby.  It's a porcelain Skull Brain designed by Emilio Garcia and brought to life (death?) by K. Olin Tribu.  They only made 100 of these and they go on sale today at http://www.artandtoys.com/.

The New 52 Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    Yeah, I'm a bit obsessed with these things. Not that I'm the only one mind you, cause I bet if they had a support group for this sort of addiction there would be a waiting list to get in.

    It is a known fact that everything you love will eventually have a Pop! Vinyl figure from Funko. I'm completely ok with that because they are very affordable and don't take up a ton of space. These figures are based on The New 52 character from DC Comics and will be available next month. You know I need that Batman figure to add to the 6 different ones I already have. I told you I have a problem.

Paul Frank x Play Imaginative

    Fact:  monkeys are hilarious.  There is very little about a monkey that is not funny.  Throwing poop = funny.  Wearing clothes = funny.  Any form of monkey stuff = funny.  Of course I have plenty of monkey stories, but some aren't fit to print because the monkeys did such shameful things that they can't be told without a serious disclaimer.  They were still funny, but not until I was well out of range of whatever horrible thing it was they were doing.  

    One time the wife and I were spending the day wandering the Philadelphia Zoo when we made our way to the gorilla enclosure.  They have a very spacious outside as well as an indoor dwelling that is larger than any house I will ever own.  While inside we were watching this gorilla poking himself in the butt with a stick and laughing about how this couldn't possibly get any better when up walks an Amish family.  The gorilla all of a sudden drops his stick and walks up to the glass and examines them like they're the first people he's ever noticed.  It was really weird and it made me wonder if zoo animals get just as excited for seeing different types of people that they've never seen before.  Like, in the gorilla's mind was he thinking "Holy crap it's Amish people.  I've never actually seen them in person."    It would probably blow his monkey mind if conjoined twins paid him a visit.  

    So the moral of the story is we all love monkeys.  Paul Frank knows this and has created quite a good living based on it.  Play Imaginative also knows this and that's why they have teamed up to make monkey toys.  They will have vinyl ones that you see way up top there before I went an rambled on.  And they will have ones on their Trexi platform as you can see at the bottom.  My favorite is the Evel Knievel one on the right.  Just because.  

New Releases from Outsmart Originals

    Outsmart Originals releases new shirts faster than this humble one man show can keep up with them.  So what I've done is compiled all of the new shirts that I missed here together for you so that you can stop buying your shirts at the Goodwill and pretending like someone didn't die in them.  

    First up are two designs from Frank Mysterio.  You like wrasslin?  You like Aztec gods turned into street artists?  Then you better get on these.  

    Next we have this one from DGPH.  That little dude is called Ultra Mole and I think he's gonna kick the crap outta that cyclops.  If there's anything I've learned in life it's that you can't trust somebody with one eye and horns.  Always leads to disaster.  

    And finally we have this Tusken Raider/Raiders of the Lost Ark mash up from Scott Kinnebrew.  This idol is a lot better than that piece of crap Indiana Jones almost got killed for.  Cause not only does it appeal to collectors of artifacts, but it appeals to Star Wars fans, who would probably pay more than any museum would for it.  But then again, Star Wars hadn't been created yet in the time period that Indian Jones takes place, so I guess the guy was just working with what he had.  Still, he could have retired if he found one of these in the package and in mint condition.  

A Clockwork Carrot by Frank Kozik x Blackbook Toy

    Well this has certainly escalated quickly.  It was only a few weeks ago that we saw this guy sculpted in clay and then wax as they prepared to make the molds for him.  Now we see his first incarnation in vinyl.  This was posted on Facebook by Blackbook Toys who are working with Frank Kozik to bring this A Clockwork Orange obsessed rabbit to life.  This is only a test pull to see how it would look once manufactured, and I'm hoping that the final release will be in full color.  There's too much personality in this toy to leave him monotone.  I have a feeling we'll get a glimpse of the finished product very soon.  

Tilt Warning Custom's Kickstarter

    These guys may have the coolest job ever.  They make custom pinball machines!  If I had a ton of money I would totally have them make one with all the famous cats of the internet.  Keyboard Cat, Grumpy Cat, Lil Bub, all the big celebrity felines.  It would quite possibly be the dumbest thing in the world, but it would be hilarious.  And no, you can't play it.

    In all seriousness I love pinball.  One of the few things I like about living near the Jersey Shore is going to Wildwood and playing in the arcades.  That, and my collection of Senior Week booty shorts that I get every year.  I've said too much.

    But no really, in all seriousness, Tilt Warning Customs need your help to fund an awesome Kickstarter campaign they have going.  They have lined up artists Jeremy Fish, Frank Kozik, Coop, Sam Flores, and Alex Pardee to each create a custom pinball machine to be part of an art show.  It's crazy, functional art that will be mind blowing.  Your sponsorship of the project will reward you with everything from t-shirts from the artist of your choice all the way up to actual backglass featured in the machines that come framed and lit up.  You can support this very unique project by clicking here.  

Super Fun Time Review: Sea-Borgs from Monster Pants

    This is Ophelia.  Ophelia is laying in the bed that I paid a lot of money for and she claimed the moment we brought it home.  She won't let any of the other cats sleep on it and she wakes us up constantly throughout the night in an attempt to make us leave too.  It's a king size bed that according to her only has room for one 13 pound feline.  She has now taken this approach to our toys as well.  As soon as I opened a box I received from Monster Pants containing these Sea-Borg resin figures she claimed each one for herself and they have now become part of her hoarded objects.  I was able to catch a rare glimpse of them as she was creating a pretty involved story line that involved murder, love, and betrayal.  Basically, she was just reenacting what she sees on Sons of Anarchy.

    James Felix McKenney created the Sea-Borgs from scratch.  Usually he can be found making pretty insane movies, but the lure of having complete control over something you create was too much to pass up.  His buddy the Sucklord taught him some secrets and the rest is action figure history.

    What I like about these guys is that they are something I would have gone crazy for as a kid.  I would have harassed my mom for an eternity to buy me these things and then I would have gone outside and played with them in the first puddle I could find.  And it's not that I would be ashamed to be in my thirties and outside playing with toys.  It's that I don't want to share!  Get your own Sea-Borgs by going to http://www.monsterpants.net/.

Cyborg Labbit from Frank Kozik x Chuckboy x Kidrobot

      I was in a state of mild depression when the original version of this was released at last year's San Diego Comic Con and then every jerk bag in the world posted them on eBay for a gazillion dollars.  I figured this was just something I would never own and I had to come to terms with it.  But then I went to Toy Fair and saw this guy and the dark cloud of despair was lifted from my life.  That was also around the same time they upped my meds, so it's hard to tell which event had a more profound effect.

    Behold the Nemesis Edition of the popular Cyborg Labbit from Frank Kozik and Chuckboy.  This 7 inch bunny with a cyber smoking problem is coming out on March 14th from the folks at Kidrobot.  They made 1000 of them and they will cost $60.  

Custom Toy of the Week: Scott Kinnebrew x Tenacious Toys

    Are you sad cause football season is over and now your Sundays are filled with yard work and emptiness?  Fear not, cause now you have a new purpose on Sundays!  Tenacious Toys is continuing their Super Series Sunday toy releases with "Our Lady of Immaculate Rebellion by Scott Kinnebrew.  he made 15 of these Princess Leia/Virgin Mary mash-ups and each 5 inch figure come blind bagged for $30 each.  What color will you get?  I dunno, I'm not psychic and if I was I would charge you $5 a minute to tell you.  Supernatural powers don't come cheap ya know.  Get one this Sunday at 3pm Eastern time by going here.  

Rose Vampire Off Road Casket Cruiser from Super7

    One year for Valentine's Day my wife and I wanted to do something different.  So instead of the usual go out to diner, buy flowers, and eat chocolates until we were diabetic, we went to see monster trucks.  It was the best Valentine's Day ever!!!  And I almost got into a fight with this volunteer fire fighter who had these obnoxious kids that kept jumping around and landing in my lap which made me quite uncomfortable but then when I said something he got mouthy so it was about to go down but then he realized that he hadn't actually had enough beers to give him enough courage to want any part of this so he sat back down and I was able to watch giant trucks crush little cars in peace without having to stomp the life out of a hillbilly in front of his young kids and wife.  Not that I would have felt bad about doing so.  

    This Off Road Casket Cruiser from Super7 just brings back all of those romantic memories like someone has opened the floodgate of my heart.  Get one today for $65 from www.super7store.com and relive your own romantic redneck moments.  

Hellboy Mini Qees from Toy2R x Dark Horse

    It's not easy to get news about what Toy2r is up to these days since their US office has closed and my ability to read Chinese is about as good as my ability so shoot lasers from my eyes.  Every now and then something will make itself known to me and I can share it with you.  This is a good one too.

    Utilizing their Mini Qee platform (which I love) they have announced plans to release these three Hellboy figures this summer.  They worked closely with Dark Horse and Mike Mignola on the character designs and word is some of them will be rarer than others (my guess would be the glow in the dark to be the rarest).  The best part is they'll only be $19.99 each when released, so you don't have to feel too guilty about not saving for your retirement.