Ultra Time Suck of the Week: Bioshock Infinite

     You need to cancel whatever it is you had planned to do this week and play this game.  Today is my day off from work and do you know what I've accomplished?  Playing this game.  I need to go to the grocery store and do some dishes and take the trash out, but so far all I've accomplished is this.  It's the best thing I've managed to waste my life on in awhile, as the graphics are beautiful, the story is inventive, and it keeps you engrossed the entire time.  Unlike the new God of War.  

    Now I hate to be negative, especially about a franchise that has produced some of the best games in recent memory, but this was boring.  It's supposed to be a prequel to the series, but instead of starting with him before his blood oath to Ares, it picks up with him already having told him to hit the bricks and now he has to deal with the Furies.  The landscapes were nice to look at, especially the Temple of Delphi, but as I was playing it just all felt so unnecessary.  Prequels usually are a bad idea to begin with (Star Wars Episodes 1-3 please raise your hands) because there is no payoff in the story.  Nothing will surprise you because you've all already destroyed Olympus and stood on it's ruins watching the Earth descend into chaos.  How do you top that?  You don't.  You walk away and enjoy the success you had.     Of course Kratos is now an iconic character in the world of console gaming, but if you insist on resting on that popularity, at least do so with a bit of inventiveness.  How about continue the franchise buy change it up the way Assassins Creed does but changing the time periods.  Utilize the pantheons of gods from ancient Egypt or Scandinavia to create something familiar yet completely new.  The Greeks didn't have the exclusive on fantastic mythology, so let's explore other cultures.  The video game industry is hurting and releasing something that preys upon your love of something previous is not the way to save it.  Compelling stories = compelling games.  

Super Series Sunday from Task One and Tenacious Toys

    It's time for more Muppets suckas!  Task One is adding three more of your favorite characters to his Pillaging Pop Culture series this Sunday, April 7th, at 4pm.  They are of course part of an ongoing Super Series Sunday feature that Tenacious Toys has been doing to offer up the best in hand crafted figures.  You should all know how this works by now.  Get one blind box for $40, all three toys for $100 or the entire 18 piece series plus chase figure for $600.  It's the best way to spend your tax return!   

New Pop! Vinyl Figures from Funko

    I can't be the only one that has a crush on Amy from The Big Bang Theory.  Most of it actually stems from a long time ago when she was on Blossom and has merely carried over to her current show, but the fact that she is actually that smart in real life is kind of intimidating.  What would you talk to her about on a dinner date?  She's talking about particle physics and all you have to offer is who you're going to play in your fantasy football league.  I'm sure this Pop! Vinyl figure from Funko would be easier to impress intellectually.  You can get the regular version you see above or the exclusive version from JMD retail.  Either way they both release at the end of the month.

    This one is for the laaaaaadies.  I typed that in my Barry White voice just so you know.  I like to set the mood.  It's Logan from The Wolverine movie.  Though he could be auditioning for True Blood because for some reason the guys always seem to misplace their shirts on that show.  Seriously, it's ridiculous.  I know it's hot in Louisiana but no one needs to see man nipples every five minutes.  This guy is available starting May 9th.  

    

    Oh I'm getting this one.  I love The Misfits.  That's really all that needs to be said.  Get one too or be lame for the rest of your life.  The Fiend also comes out May 9th.  Oh and they should make friends with Danzig again and do a tour.  Even the Pope wants to see that happen.    

    How do you follow up The Misfits?  You don't, but since there is still more to tell you about I'll try.  Sonic the Hedgehog.  Not really my cup of tea anymore as far as video games go, but I liked them as a kid.  Now I prefer my games to pack in a bit more violence.  Now if they made a Sonic game like Grand Theft Auto we could talk.  Pick these guys up May 16th.  

Snow Bunny from Joe Ledbetter x The Loyal Subjects

    My wife has been hounding me about getting a rabbit for as long as we've been together.  By hounding it's mostly brought up whenever I see anything bunny related and then this happens.

Sharon:  "We should get a rabbit."

Me:  "Well then why don't we?"

Sharon:  "Cause you said we couldn't have one."

Me:  "All I said was that you had to pick up its little turd nuggets when it decides to fertilize the carpet every five minutes."

Sharon:  "That's pretty much saying no."

    Then six months or so will pass and we repeat.  It's not an argument so much as I just sort of forget about it and do other things.  I think this is how the Cold War went on for so long.  The Russians were like "death to America"  and then realized there was hockey on.  

    Joe Ledbetter and The Loyal Subjects are continuing their Chaos Bunny releases with this Snow version.  When does he go on sale?  Today!!!  No one ever said I was timely with the news.  They made 250 of this chilly looking critters and one can be yours for $135.  Go to https://www.theloyalsubjects.com/ at noon Pacific time to claim yours.  

Moon Cavey Exclusive for ToyConUK from A Little Stranger x Sergey Safonov

    It would be too easy to make a reference to the brilliant musical stylings of The Lonely Island and T-Pain when talking about this toy.  It would be easy to discuss how certain misery awaits you if you decide to take a cruise because the boat will most likely lose power and the toilets will overflow and everyone will be driven mad.  Or Somalian pirates.  Or the Titanic.  But do I dare interrupt the peacefulness of this Cavey as he drifts along on the sea of tranquility in search of the dreams of yesteryear?

    We all know Cavey, but we didn't know he had a fondness for marine activities.  A Little Stranger and Sergey Safonov combined their toy making powers to bring this exclusive to ToyConUK.  The best part is that this guy isn't made of vinyl, but is instead crafted of porcelain.  I feel just staring at this as it sits on your shelf could make your life stress free.  Only 20 of them exist at £30 each.  They go on sale starting at 11am and you can meet both of the artists in person.

    Maybe one day they will make a viking version with a nice horned helmet and a boat filled with plunder.  A boy can dream.

Creature Feature at Toy Art Gallery

    Why don't we have anything like Toy Art Gallery where I live?  You know what we have?  Yogurt shops.  I'm serious, they open a new one every week.  Do you know how horrifying that is for someone that is lactose intolerant?  Pretty soon they will over take all of the restaurants and grocery stores and I'll be forced to eat it just to survive and it will bring upon a death that is quite unbecoming.  This is a completely rational fear by the way.

    Creature Feature opens at Toy Art Gallery this Saturday, April 6th and I am extremely envious of any of you that get to go.  There will be crazy new stuff and one-offs from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore, Splurrt, Kenth Toy Works, Elegab, and Munktini for you to feast your eyes on and give you nightmares for the rest of your life.  Check out some of these preview pictures from the show for a sample of the madness that awaits:

Splurrt

Kenth Toy Works

Kenth Toy Works

Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

New 8 Inch Dunny from Colus x Kidrobot

    I've noticed that the longer I collect toys the pickier I become about them.  I used to buy anything I was remotely interested in for fear that I would like it a bit more later down the road and it would be completely unattainable.  So I confess that I have let the past few 8 inch Dunny releases pass without acting on them.  That will not be the case with this figure.  

    "The Hunted" was designed by Colus and of course produced by Kidrobot.  The amount of personality that is packed into the black and white color scheme is overwhelming.  And it took me a second to realize that the collar around his neck is actually a wood grained plaque that his head is mounted on.  It truly blurs the toy/art line and that is what makes it successful.  You can add this guy to your collection on April 11th for $75.  1250 of them have been made which makes me worry a little less about being able to obtain one.  There are many sleepless nights when you are toy obsessed.  

Star Wars Inspired Tees from Kris Dulfer and Outsmart Originals

    In my humble opinion (which is less humble and more fact I would say) you can't go wrong with Star Wars.  Like, ever.  No matter what you do, if it involves Star Wars, it's gonna be good.  Think about it for a sec.  If you rob an old lady while wearing a Darth Vader mask it totally negates the crime part of it.  If you painted your sketchy van to look like the Millennium Falcon you're not trashy at all, you're the coolest guy on your block.  Adding Star Wars to anything makes it better.  Kris Dulfer knows this and got together with Outsmart Originals to make your wardrobe better.  He took everyone's favorite film, mixed in a little creativity, and BAM: fashion.  You can instantly be the guy (or girl) that everyone asks "where did you get that shirt".  It's the best validation of your good decision making and taste level.  Get yours now by going to http://outsmartoriginals.storenvy.com/.

ToyConUK Goodness from alto

     Ever since I originally posted about these skulls everyone has been asking me how to get them.  Well, now I can tell you.  These Skelevex resin skulls will be available at alto's booth at ToyConUK.  This collaboration with DMS has varying numbers available per color and the price will be between £100 - 125GBP depending on which one you go for.  No word yet on whether or not they will be available afterwards, but I can't imagine they won't make more.  Gotta get one in classic white, or maybe a nice aged one that looks like it was just dug up from your uncle's basement.  You know, in that dirt patch under the model train set.

    They will also have their little geometric Boxen of Oxen.  Each one of these mix and match figures is an edition of ten and they were made in collaboration with Creo Design.  Get 'em for £25GBP each.

   If you'd like to add your own spin on an Evil Origami character they will have blank ones available for £15GBP each.  Many other artists have already interpreted this critter and they will also be on display for convention goers.  Our friend Lisa Rae Hansen and a ton of other folks will have their creations featured for you to check out.

   

More ToyConUK Exclusives from The Hang Gang

    The Revolutionary War was a crock.  There, I said it.  I am royally peeved that I was robbed of the possibility of having a cool British accent over some taxes that people didn't want to pay.  Sure, I've made up for it slightly by forcing my inner thoughts to sound like James Bond, but that is not as awesome as it could be.  Everything just sounds so much better with a nice British accent.  You can literally read out loud from the phone book and it sounds like high literature.   

    You know what else the British have that I want?  Well, other than universal health care?  Exclusive toys for ToyConUK!  The Hang Gang has already tormented me with a few releases they'll have available but now they are trying to send me to an early grave with these.  I want them so bad I can feel my organs shutting down.   Especially that Kaiju Negora from Max Toy Company that you see up there.  It's combines two of my favorite things:  toys and cats, so of course I want one.  These are ridiculously hard to get whenever there's a new one released so if you're going to the convention I would make this my first stop.  

    Ahhhhhh the torment continues!  They also have 2 exclusive figures from Super7:  a full size Mummy Boy and a Foster.  Oh, the humanity.  They can sense my need for all of these toys I just know they can.

    And they also have exclusive figure from Uamou.  They only made 3 full sets of these figures and you can buy them all together or individually.

   These are some pretty cool exclusives and really make me wish I could hop on a plane and attend this convention.  

Thank You to DeKorner

    Last year when the Deathshead figures from David Flores were revealed I knew I had to have one.  So I waited for any store to offer preorders and DeKorner was the first.  I couldn't order that sucker fast enough.  Now the figure had some issues at the factory that caused it to be delayed for quite some time (to the tune of almost 6 months) but that made it even more exciting when it finally arrived.  I tore open the box and to my confusion the figure was wet.  Weird.  I inspected closer and determined that it was coming from one of the feet.  So I popped it off and saw that the substance that they used to balance the figure had not properly dried, leaking some unknown substance all over.  Ok, no big deal, I just have to figure out how to dry it.  I tried everything, from letting it sit out for days to using a hair dryer.  I even posted photos online and asked for help.  Contacting the manufacturer was a wash because they hadn't updated their website in over a year (I still haven't received a reply).  So I contacted DeKorner to see if they had any ideas on what this stuff was so that I could repair the figure.  They were able to contact the distributor and get me an entire new piece at no cost.  I was pretty stunned to say the least because I never would have expected anyone to do that. I was going to write them a thank you note privately but I thought other people needed to know how cool my experience was.  Check 'em out if you haven't already as they get a ton of exclusive stuff and they really go out of their way for their customers.  

Dynamite Rex at Wondercon

    I want one of these!  Dynamite Rex will be at Wondercon starting today and look at the neat stuff they're bringing with them.  These resin figures are really cool.  I've always loved the double cast, visible skeleton look and it really adds a creepiness to an otherwise cute figure.  They have both 3 inch and 6 inch versions of these guys.  

    They also have a 3 inch clear Candy Series of resin figures and a 6 inch DIY vinyl toy for those of us that attempt to be artistic every now and then.  Pay them a visit at booth #977 all weekend.  

Papabehr Kickstarter

    Most of the time when you rip the head off of a toy you get thrown out of Target for scarring children.  For some reason people have a thing against plastic decapitation, but pretty soon that's gonna change because of this guy right here.  Meet Papabehr, a crazy, mechanized mammal that is hiding a USB drive in his neck.  Just pop his head off and store all your important documents/pictures that will prevent you from ever holding public office.  And of course they'll be safe there, cause this bear has a sword and a hug shoulder-mounted gun thingy.

    If you want one of these for yourself you gotta help make him a reality by checking out his Kickstarter page.  We all know how these work by now:  there are different levels of pledges you can make and different rewards that go with each one, like t-shirts and art prints.  So check out their page here and get this dude funded.  

Super Series Sunday from Kid Ink Industries x Tenacious Toys

    Forget dragging your kids to the mall to take their pictures with some weirdo dressed up as a rabbit.  This Easter, save the money you would normally spend on traumatizing them for life and get yourself something nice instead.  Or two somethings.  

    Tenacious Toys continues their ongoing Super Series Sunday releases with Kid Ink Industries and these resin Sumo Troopers.  The blue one will be offered through Tenacious Toys, while the red one will be for sale through the Kid Ink Industries Hazarai shop.  They will be sold blind bagged because mixed in the editions will be glow in the dark and hand painted versions.  Only 25 of the blue and 15 of the red exist and they will be $30 each.   Get yours on March 31st at 4pm eastern time.  

Wondercon Exclusives from DeKorner

    So many things are going on at Wondercon it makes me wanna call in sick and hop a plan to California.  Yes, we all know that's not gonna happen, but once the money starts rolling in from this website that's how I'm gonna live.  Flying all over the world and buying toys.  Wait, there's no money in being a toy blogger?  I'm going to shoot my life coach in the face.

DeKorner will be at Wondercon with a ton of exlcusives so let's run down the list of what they have:

    Andrew Bell's Can of Worms from Bic Plastics will be debuting its Bloodworm Edition.  $50 for you good sir.  

    They will also have a special Yellow Gummy Deadbeet set from Scott Tolleson.  You get one full size figure in clear yellow and one mini figure in solid yellow.  Scott himself will be there tomorrow from noon to 1pm to sign 'em for ya.  They'll be $77.

    Attendees will also be able to pick up the new Apologies to Banksy figures for the first time in the US. These are 3d interpretations of some of Banksy's well know stencil work.  Visit the DeKorner at booth #1179.

Despicable Me 2 Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    I'm so out of touch with what's going on in the world that I didn't even know they were making Despicable Me 2.  I really need someone to give me a daily briefing like the President gets every day so I don't get caught of guard by such things.  TMZ sure didn't inform me of it this morning.  All I know is some dude got spit on by Justin Bieber and is filing an assault charge on him.  I'm sure he's only doing that because he'll be able to sue and win lots of money, but how embarrassing would it be to be the guy who got assaulted by the Biebs?  You may get rich, but you'll forever be the biggest wuss in history.

    Back to business.  A new movie of course can mean only one thing.  Pop! Vinyl figures from Funko!  You can get them all at the beginning of May and there is still an uber secret bad guy dude that they have yet to reveal.  He is represented by the black shape at the bottom.  Just in case you thought I was going crazy and just putting random pictures up instead of ones that actually have to do with the subject matter.  Which, if you ask my wife, is a fair assumption.  

Libertas Resin Skulls from Jon-Paul Kaiser x Tru:Tek

    I would like to refine my collection a bit.  Or maybe just start a new collection, as that seems much easier and plays into my hoarding tendencies.  I want to collect art skulls.  How cool would it be to get a nice antique cabinet and fill it with nothing but brain shells?  So many have been released recently that it would be pretty easy to do, and this is where I would want to start.

    Jon-Paul Kaiser got together with Tru:Tek of Man-E-Toys to create these Libertas skulls.  These will be available at ToyConUK at Jon's booth (which he is sharing with Richard Page of UME Toys).  There are 10 of the regular version available for £65 and only 5 of the Scribed version for £80.  These guys are stunning and if you're able to pick one up you should email your address so I can come rob, I mean visit, you.  I'll bring cookies.  

Shmurfy Dead Beet Sets from Scott Tolleson

    You can't pay kids enough to actually eat them, but in plastic form they sell out like they're made of solid gold.  No, I'm not talking about cyanide pills, I'm talking about Scott Tolleson's Dead Beet figures.   They're insanely popular and are always snatched up moments after they go on sale.  This time he's paying tribute to everyone's favorite blue midgets with a set of Shmurfy Beets.  You get one of the blue bodied ones and one of the white bodied ones all for $130.  They go on sale this Friday at 10am Pacific time at http://www.stolleart.com/store/ and only 20 sets are available.  

Fossilized Morrow from Taylored Curiosites

    When I was in kindergarten I was positive I was going to grow up to be an archaeologist.  I was going to travel the world and dig up dead things for fun and profit.  It seemed like a great plan, but then I thought "I should really work retail instead, it seems more lucrative."  No one said I was the best at making decisions.  

    Taylored Curiosities is taking the leg work out of searching for ancient corpses by creating these Fossilized Morrows.  They're weird critters who lived a long time ago and have now left behind little hints of their existence.  Each one is hand made and comes with a miniature book explaining their story.    If you would like one that's more personal you can even create your own to order.  They're available now at http://tayloredcuriosities.bigcartel.com/.