You know what my wife bought me for my birthday? A mummified fetal pig. You're jealous, I can sense it. We're weirdos I guess and have lots of strange stuff laying about the house. The year before she bought me an antique electric shock machine, which she soon regretted when I made plans to get it into working order to help her on days she feels sad. I have since signed a document that legally binds me to never zap her with it or she would leave my lunch meat outside while I was at work. Love is crazy right?
Splurrt is tapping into all my nightmares about having kids with his Cadaver Twins toys. Well, not the nightmare about them touching and breaking all my stuff, but the ones about them being born as little demons. I don't know what I did in my past lives, but I would speculate that it was probably bad and this is the kind of retribution I can expect. Where would you even buy clothes for a kid like this?
If you're ready to welcome this plastic bundle of joy into your life, then you will have to enter his lottery when it goes live this Saturday (January 25th) at 3pm Eastern time. You have your choice of unpainted black or glow in the dark blue. Get all the details and enter for a chance to buy one at http://www.splurrt.com/.