Gerald Okamura Exclusives for DesignerCon

   

    Gerald Okamura is known as "The Man of Many Weapons" but I feel he's going to have to change that to "The Man of Many Exclusives" when it comes to this year's DesignerCon.  The film icon's instantly recognizable face has been transformed into everything from figures, to prints, and even skate decks.  Annnnnnnnd there is a custom show featuring his sofubi figure created by Max Toy Co.  Seriously, you might need to bring a spare suit case to bring all of it home.

      The majority of what he'll have available can be had at booth number 2136, but one location is not nearly enough to carry everything, so make sure you follow him on Instagram @officialgeraldokamura so you know exactly where to go.  I decided to pick just a few of my favorites to show you, otherwise you would spend the rest of your day scrolling this post.

Mark Hamill Exclusive Funko Pop Vinyl Figures for DesignerCon

      DesignerCon is only a few weeks away so prepare for your social media feeds to be inundated with releases that make your pupils dilate and your wallet wonder what the safe word is.  For those in attendance, may God forgive the thrashing you're about to do to your credit, cause there will be too much goodness to just window shop.  One of the more unique offerings that I've seen so far will be thees exclusive Mark Hamill Funko Pop Vinyl figures.  They come in two different designs, one in which he's keeping it casual and wearing a Lave Bear shirt designed by his son Nathan, and another where he is dressed as his most famous voice over role.  Now within those two designs there will different versions for you to collect, which you can see in the pictures I've included.  Those very same pictures also give you the very important locations in which you can procure said figures, lest you run around the show floor like a crazy person screaming Mark Hamill's name only to end up with someone recording it, selling it to TMZ, and you then you're forever remembered for your stalker-like meltdown.

    If you're going to try and get them all, because why wouldn't you, I'm going to copy and paste the info you need right now so you can plan accordingly, as the purple metallic edition is only available by purchasing an MVP package to the show.  So read this carefully because unlike your other friends, I just want you to be happy:

Here is the breakdown:

- Mark Hamill (Black LavaBear shirt) Available to all attendees at booth 1805.

- Purple Mark Hamill (Edition of 1000) ONLY AVAILABLE VIA MVP PACKAGE

- Mark Hamill (Joker Suit) Available to all attendees at booth 1807.

- Mark Hamill (White LavaBear shirt) Available to all attendees at booth 1807.

- Limited Edition Combo (500 sets) with Mark Hamill POP (Black LavaBear Shirt) & LavaBear Shirt by Nathan Hamill as Seen on Big Bang Theory, booth 1805.




    

A Plethora of Halloween Resin Releases from Leecifer

      I'm not a big eater of candy so I'm a little biased when it comes to this, but I have never known a person that could finish a bag of candy corn.  If Johnny Knoxville really wanted to do a crazy stunt he should sit down with a bag full and not be allowed to get up before its empty.  He will develop bedsores on his backside before he ever finishes the last piece.  Whatever unholy ingredients form those little waxy candies makes them impossible to enjoy to their full potential.

    Despite their status as virtually inedible, you can't have Halloween without their great combination of colors.  Leecifer is exploiting those three shades in a massive release of resin figures.  Some have been sold, but there's still a bunch of Sparks and Honoos in all sorts of candy corn variations.  Get yourself some new seasonal friends at http://www.leecifer.com.

Ghost Riders Custom Figures from Vincent Scala x Plaseebo

   A few days ago my wife and I had a layover in San Francisco and spent the day exploring the city.  After nearly dying from climbing the steps up Telegraph Hill, my aging joints informed me that any further travels would be done via ride share.  We used the service four different times as we dashed around the city like we were Steve McQueen and of the four drivers I am reasonably sure that at least three of them were not the Zodiac Killer.  The first guy was fairly quiet, uttering only the basic of pleasantries and keeping any other small talk to a minimum.  The second driver had worked as a corporate executive before his current profession, but lest you feel sorry for him the way we did, he was just trying to make quick money for the downpayment on a second yacht for his grandchildren that he found a really good deal on.  I'll never understand rich people.  The third driver was like being on carpool karaoke with James Corden except instead of singing he told us how he has worked extensively on trying to communicate with jelly fish and he thinks he may have actually succeeded.  He also did not have a British accent or resemble James Corden.  The fourth one is my lead suspect in the Zodiac case as the only question he asked us was what languages we spoke and the proceeded to go the rest of the ride without speaking.  There could have been any number of reasons for this, such as maybe he wanted to date a nice Icelandic girl and was having trouble understanding what she liked to eat.  Or maybe he wanted to join a Spanish gang and wanted to practice all of the catchphrases he would need for success in that field.  My take on it was that if we didn't speak English we wouldn't be able to call the police to make them stop him from murdering us.  I'm gonna have to wrap this up so I can speak with the authorities.

    No one does customs like Plaseebo and he has taken Vincent Scala's Skull Racer figure and turned them into the ride share from hell.  He filled em with all kinds of interesting stuff, made em light up, and now they're ready to drive right into your nightmares.  There are three different versions and can only be purchased via lottery, which just so happens to close on Halloween (that's tomorrow).  Here's what you gotta do to own one:

Offered at USD $250 each + $20 for US shipping OR $60 for world-wide shipping.

To enter lottery, please send the following to:   bob@plaseebo.net 

1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address 

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  PayPal Email Address

6.  Instagram ID

Lottery winners will receive notification emails by Friday November 1st. Figures will ship from the USA upon receipt of payment due by Monday November 4th.

Alien Phantom Ultrus Bog from Skinner x Lulubell Toys

    The biggest let down of this year has got to be the Storm Area 51 event that resulted in absolutely no one seeing those aliens.  Now as someone who values my freedom/life there was no way I was gonna show up to help, but you can't tell me there aren't a ton of Internet dudes hopped up on energy drinks and other questionable substances that could have made it happen.  Hell, half the state of Florida makes the news for much crazier reasons than this, so I was sure something exciting was gonna happen.  But apparently no one wants to see me happy, which seems to be a running theme.  Stop being so selfish!


    If it's any consolation I'm sure the aliens are nowhere near as awesome as Ultrus Bog.  They are probably all sickly and wouldn't even understand any of the memes you'd want to show them. Skinner's  Ultrus Bog gets all the current meme references and looks forward to seeing all the ones you text him while at work.  He looks awesome in the crazy marbled vinyl pour from Lulubell Toys and tons of people are gonna want to bring him home.  Only 30 pieces were created with the Alien Phantom color scheme and they are up for grabs begining Wednesday, October 30th at 6pm pacific time.  He retails for $125 each plus shipping and can only be had at www.lulubelltoys.com.


    

Resin Skellene Mourning Doll from Miscreation Toys

    I love going to estate sales, mostly just to have a look at how other people lived. Going through their house is more fun than actually buying anything, especially when you're competing for items with people who have eBay on their phones and search for everything they come across. Estate sales are the real world equivalent of the "followers" tab that Instagram just took away, that gave you a look into what deviant things your friends were up to. Some of ya'll are freaks and you know it.

    On occasion I have found interesting items while digging through the dead's former possessions, but I never find anything quite as exciting as this Skellene Mourning Doll. I'm expecting to every time we enter a new house, but I'm usually greeted by the deceased's poor investment in Beanie Babies or stacks of pastel colored '80's mixed media art that I wouldn't waste a match to burn. Is it that people are beating me to all of the haunted items or have those movies featuring murderous dolls that come to life scared enough of us away from the idea of inviting one into our home? I explicitly buy things with the idea of it creeping out anyone who happens upon my estate sale but I'm nothing if not a humanitarian.

    Miscreation Toys is of course turning this young lady into a larger vinyl figure, but she will be making her debut in resin courtesy of DuBose Art. Each five inch toy is masterfully marbled the way only a toy possessed by restless souls could be.  Each figure is completely unique and is a deal at only $55 plus shipping.  Add some Victorian era creepy to your life when these go on sale today, Friday October 25th, at 7pm eastern time from https://autopsybabies.bigcartel.com/.

George's Halloween Portrait Vinyl Figure from Tara McPherson x Martian Toys

    People in the future will one day search the internet for various moments that stand out in our history when looking to prove a point to someone they're arguing with. Search engines of tomorrow will be tasked with retrieving information about various wars, celebrities of note, and other factoids that that will run the gamut of the human experience. One day, someone will type in "name a moment in our past when the paint on a toy was completely nailed" and the picture about you will inevitably appear.

    Martian Toys has outdone themselves on this latest offering from Tara McPherson. I've been collecting her figures for years and I will go out on a very stable limb and say this is the best looking paint any of her toys have ever had. I saw the prototype at Five Points and of course was into it, but the colors are so spot on to the original painting and add so much life to this figure that it's impossible not to gravitate towards it. I'm beyond impressed at the production work, and if you feel the same way you can preorder one for yourself starting this Friday, October 25th. Get in early, because the price will only be $200 up to November first, after which it jumps to it's normal retail cost of $250. And you're getting a lot for your money, because it stands a foot tall! Get yours at www.martiantoys.com.

Death Goldblum the Gore Fly Kickstarter from Evil Dave

    When you've tired yourself out watching pimple popping videos and cyst removal the next logical progression is watching a bot fly get yanked from someone's festering skin.  It really has everything you could ever want:   There's the horror that the person is raising an insect baby in their flesh and they are really not exited about being a parent.  And there's a second person who is going to do the removal and whose excitement level is directly proportionate to their lack of medical training.  And let us not forget the botfly larva itself, whose tiny little black spines are hell bent on staying knuckle deep in their seemingly endless food source.  Armed with little more than a pair of tweezers and a cell phone camera the magic is beyond anything Kubrick could have dreamed up. 


When a man is known as Evil Dave, you can bet he's not dreaming up unicorns and rainbows.  Enter Death Goldblum the Gore Fly, whose appearance is absolutely as advertised.  He's buzzing around on Kickstarter now in the hopes of becoming a vinyl toy, but he needs your help to make that dream a reality.  Check out the link here, snag some rewards, and bring this turd eating insect to life.

Gold "Choices" Vinyl Figure from Jermaine Rogers

      A rabbit with a thousand yard stare and a kitchen knife is the perfect spirit animal for my week.  Sharon and I started binge watching Mindhunter and we finished season one and have dipped our toes into number two. And you can't watch that many fictional representations of actual serial killers without giving everyone you encounter a second look.  Whether it's been the grocery store or at work I've been staring at each person I encounter looking for signs of deviant behavior.  Thus far I have only diagnosed a creepy kid in Wal Mart who was following a group of girls and staring at them from afar in every aisle they went down. It turns out that it was one of their brothers, so I'm glad I excercised restraint and did not use deadly force to apprehend the suspect.  The next life I save may be your own, or something.

    This bunny may not have done bad yet, or he may be contemplating continuing an otherwise unheralded reign of terror, but either way he is a compelling character from the mind of Jermaine Rogers.  He's eight inches of pure vinyl and limited to 100 pieces in this gold colorway.  You can add a dose of potential mayhem to your collection when he goes on sale this Friday October 11th at 3pm eastern from www.jermainerogers.com.

A Smattering of New Releases from Violence Toy

   When a company has a name like Violence Toy its fairly indicative of what their products will entail.  I myself am a fan of getting right to the damn point, which is something rare when you work with the public.  The quickest point between your problem and my solution is a straight line, but for some people they have this overwhelming internal monologue that demands to come out.  It happens so often I don't even have concrete examples, as my brain goes into safe mode and refuses to reboot until you have finished the story about the crazy traffic you encountered earlier or the fact that your daughter just got out of rehab and doesn't she realize that she's gonna have to get a job so she can pay you back for having to take her pet snake to the vet? I wish I was clever enough to make up half the crap people willingly tell me.


 So it seems I didn't get right to the point in this post, thus making me appear a bit hypocritical.  I shouldn't hold you up any longer than it takes to drool over all of these new releases because unless you are on the Violence Toy mailing list, then you have no idea what time these will be available.  I can tell you that it will be sometime today, which is Friday October 5th.  And I can tell you that they will be available at https://violencetoy.com

Silver DeathCat from Deathcat Toys x Toy Art Gallery

    Do you remember the movie Clash of the Titans?  I'm talking of course about the original, not the crappy remake one from a few years back.  It's one of my all time favorites and other than the three original Star Wars films, the only one I'd watch repeatedly without getting tired of it.  Recently I was discussing cats with someone and they asked how I ended up with five of them and the best way I could think to describe is was the way the Gods presented Perseus with the various weapons in the film to complete his task.  Everything was placed strategically so he couldn't help but find what was intended for him and I feel the same way about the little critters that wake me up at 6:30 every morning demanding to be fed.  They were intended to enter our lives at that exact moment and all we had to do was scoop them up and take them in the house.  Ok, so we managed to do that with one of them, the others didn't make it that easy, but you get my point.  Especially the one who wedged himself behind the car engine and required four hours and a tow truck to lift the front of the car to get him out.  It would have been easier to fight the Kraken.

     Deathcat Toys and Toy Art Gallery are set to release another of the former's mascot figures in silver sparkly sofubi.  He stands at four and a half inches tall, looks meaner than a snake, and will be available starting today at 3pm eastern time for $45 each.  That's way less than we spend on any of the three prescription foods that we feed our little buddies, who decided its way more fun to have individual dietary needs than to come together and share the same one.

www.toyartgallery.com

   
    

Spiritus Dea Dunny Series from Kidrobot

    Here's a factoid for you:  it's been years since I featured a release from Kidrobot on this site.  The reason being is that I was handling all of the posts for their official blog and as much as I may love something, I don't have the time or desire to write about it more than once.  I say what I feel, commit it to type, and move on with my life.  Even though I no longer write for them, I still have a great love for the toys and the artists who create them.  And I've been excited for this new Dunny series since I found out about it a few months ago as it combines my love of mythology with my favorite platform figure.

    This blind box series features a collection of goddesses from various parts of the world as interpreted by an all female group of artists.  You will find designs from Stephanie Buscema, Mizna Wada, Stickymonger, Tomodachi Island, Yoii, Mia Alvarez, Marylou Faure, Candie Bolton, Muxxi, Lisa Toms, MJ Hsu, and Laura Colors.  It's a beautiful set with lots of new ideas that continue to evolve the Dunny further than anyone could have originally imagined.  These are available starting today, Friday the 27th, wherever you prefer to buy your toys.

Tenacious Toys Exclusives for New York Comic Con

     Booth number 780 is the place to be during this year's New York Comic Con.  You can actually just forget about every booth but the one run by Tenacious Toys because they will have everything you need in order to have a good time.  I may be a little biased because that's where you can find my Permafrost Edition Nordic Lucky Cat.  It's 4 inches tall, made of solid blue and white marbled resin, and limited to only 10 hand numbered pieces.  And at only $40 each you'll still have plenty of money to take your significant other out to dinner and explain to them how you are now part of the great heathen army and we sail at dawn to raid England.  How many other toys can claim to make your life more exciting just by owning it?  I'm gonna go ahead and say none.

   Of course that's not all that Tenacious Toys will have available for your collecting need.  I put most of them here for convenient perusal.  All the info you can possibly need is in the photos to help you gear up for this year's convention.  

     

Retroband Presents the "I Can't Stop the Monster I Created" Solo Show

     When I opened my email a few days ago and saw that there was going to be a meats exhibit I got a little too hyped, so I don't know why I am surprised that whenever I use that health machine at the grocery store my results are less than ideal.  You know the one I'm talking about, that sings the tempting song of the sirens as you wait in line for your prescriptions.  It measures your blood pressure, pulse, and body fat content and despite everything that video games have drilled into my brain over a lifetime, a high score is not cause for celebration.  The world should really calm it down on the mixed message front.  And of course whenever I'm there I have to use the damn thing cause there's nothing better than spiraling into a depression to let you know you're alive (not for much longer is that machine is to be believed).   But alas, this email had nothing to do with the barbecued goodness that has made the free space in my arteries tighter than last year's jeans.

    The Meats referred to the grotesque vinyl figure created by Retroband and will be the subject of a solo show this Saturday in Brooklyn.  "I Can't Stop the Monster I Created" is a title that oozes Frankenstein vibes and there certainly are plenty of similarities between the two.  Once Retroband put his creation out there the collector's took over, giving it a life all its own. Unlike Frankenstein though, the murder tally is a tad lower I think.

   The show will feature a ton of variations on this very figure, including painted, unpainted, and even a newer interpretation of the monster in a much smaller size.  And if that wasn't enough, CoART Publications is actually releasing a 154 page book filled with high quality images and which for some reason I was not asked to write the introduction for but that doesn't mean I won't make myself available for the next one (subtle hint).

    I suppose the next logical thing would be to tell you how you can be a part of all of this,  I too agree that would make sense, so here ya go.  The show is being held at Bottleneck Gallery at 60 Broadway in Brooklyn, NY this Saturday, September 21.  The opening happens from 6-9pm.

Protoduck Preorder from Grody Shogun x Lulubell Toys

    In the great state of New Jersey we have an over abundance of the majestic bird known as the Canada Goose.  They're really pretty birds but they have two qualities that are less than desirable.  For one, they love to walk across the street in droves.  One of them starts off, followed by a seemingly endless line of their relatives in tow, bringing traffic to a halt.  I don't mind waiting for them to waddle their way across the street and I will in fact block other cars from trying to drive around then until they all make it safely.  What makes me insane is that they can fly but insist on walking like confused tourists.  And it drives me insane because I don't want to see them get hurt by someone who isn't paying attention.

     The other thing about them that is less than ideal is the fact that they drop trucker sized turds everywhere they go.  They're these green tinted monsters that pepper the landscape like buckshot and are nearly impossible to navigate between without adding some stank to your shoes.  Thankfully, their uncontrollable bowel movements seem to be limited to when they are walking and eating because if they dropped those bombs on you from above it might knock you cross eyed.

    Geese are not in fact ducks, but the only duck stories I have for you involve my love of those tiny baby ducklings and you've already heard that a few times.  So to celebrate the release of the latest figure from Grody Shogun and Lulubell Toys I had to do a bit of substitution.  This is Protoduck, who has taken a strange detour on the evolutionary highway that has equipped him with a lone vampire fang and a horn that juts out from his head.  Sounds like a couple of people I know.

   This dude stands 6 inches tall and is available for preorder now for an intro-duck-tory price of just $30.  That is, until 50 orders are placed at which time the price will go up slightly to its normal $40.  Where else are you getting that much genuine Japanese sofubi for that price?  Only from https://www.lulubelltoys.com/.

Clear Green Glitter King Nawab from Planet Asia

    The new Godzilla film just showed up as a rental option through our cable provider and I was beyond excited to watch it.  I eagerly paid the $5.99 and sat with baited breath for each great monster to be revealed on screen.  Those were two hours of my life I will never get back.  The previous movie wasn't bad, but this one was hell bent from the beginning to make me hate it.  The dialogue was clunkier than my first car and the monsters were mostly hidden behind fast paced CG that really made me miss the simplistic yet much more effective costumes of films past.  How can they make a modern film like Shin Godzilla, which has one of my favorite monster designs ever, and have flawless visuals and intriguing story telling (don't act like you weren't fascinated to learn about Japanese government) but once Americans get involved everything gets blurry on the screen and in the script?

    I'm all about this gigantic figure from Planet Asia because it is like the glittery love child of Mothra and King Ghidorah.  And look at that green sparkle that doesn't need a drop of paint to accentuate it.  This beast stands 15 inches tall and features 11 points of articulation, which is about three more than me at this current moment.  At $180 plus shipping I'm surprised these are still available.   Is the problem that you need to make some space in your house?  That's not a problem at all, just throw out some furniture you don't like, or throw out some furniture you do like, life is too short to be worrying this much about a silly thing like that chair your mom gave you.

https://planetxasia.bigcartel.com

Oni-Tayu Smoke and Mirrors Edition from Tokyo Jesus x Clutter Studios

 

  There are but only so many ways in our crazy world to create something truly menacing.  Especially in America, where mass shootings are the norm and where the entire country is run by someone not mentally stable enough to manage a hot dog cart.  Freddy Kreuger wishes he could inspire so many nightmares.  To say I'm a bit jaded is the understatement of the year, but I will readily admit that this figure has a creepy "just found in the tomb of a witch" feel that is slightly unnerving.  Could be that whole skeleton made of random skulls, but that's just a guess.

    Tokyo Jesus and Clutter Studios team up again to offer us all a new version of their Oni-Tayu collaboration.  The first edition was filled with blood, so the natural progression for figure number two is to fill it with bone.  This is made from double cast resin and features and entirely new sculpted structure beneath the clear shell.  She stands at 12 inches tall, is limited to only 50 pieces worldwide, is filled with the angry ghost of a fisherman's daughter (not really, but maybe) and will be available for preorder starting on the more than appropriate Friday the 13th.  Each one is $350 and will start shipping out at the end of November.  Oh, and the skeleton glows with an otherworldly energy that I cannot confirm is not a poltergeist.  Imagine the fun you'll have!

www.cluttermagazine.com

The Debut of the Toxic Rider Sofubi from Bad Omen Toys

     How is it that every summer either ticks or mosquitos are carrying some new horrifying disease that has, until that very moment, gone unnoticed by medical science?  And why on Earth does New Jersey seem to be the Petri dish where these insects tests their new brands of evil out?  Sure, the disease that makes you allergic to red meat started down south, but then guess where it went on holiday and decided to stay?  New...Jersey.  This summer it was the mosquitos turn as they concocted a special brew that was deadly to humans and oddly enough horses.  I,can understand why they hate us because we have entire divisions of local government tasked solely with their extinction, but what did a horse ever do to offend them so badly?  It's not their fault that people who love horses are so dang weird about.  Everyone went to school with a horse girl and knows exactly what I'm talking about.  What with their every sweat shirt having a horses head on it, or the fact that they wear their riding pants to class because their was no time to change.  Horse girls are the worst.

    The original the,e behind the post involved bugs and the way they are concocting new evils to try and kill us, but in now way did I see them forming biker gangs and carrying stabbing implements.  This luscious purple hunk of Sofubi is the first ever release of the Toxic Rider figure which also marks the first ever release from Bad Omen Toys.  Designed by the duo of Video Vomit and Ryno Arts, this dude will be making his world premier today, Friday September 6th at 7pm cst.  Own one of these purple dynamos by visiting https://badomentoys.bigcartel.com.



   

Satisfaction Guaranteed Resin Figure Line from Public Figures

   You'd think I'd never been anywhere by the way I'm amazed at certain things.  I could go on for an hour about the two story Target in Brooklyn with the shopping cart escalator and I'm sure I looked really dumb to locals as I refused to move until I saw someone use it.  The gist is the escalator for your cart is right next to the escalator for people, so you can ride along side your future purchases to the next floor.  Magic!!!!!    Now I've never been to Las Vegas, but my wife used to have to go there for her job and one night while we chatted on the phone she told me about these dudes that hang out everywhere passing out calling cards for prostitutes.   When I was little I used to collect baseball cards so I thought it would be hilarious for her to try and collect as many different ones as she could and then I would put them in a binder with plastic protector sheets.  The funniest part was her collecting them, the bonus funny part was having them as a collection.  Needless to say she brought home a bunch and I never actually put the binder together.  I had mostly forgotten they existed until my cat Jorah got into the stack and dragged them all over the house.  He's obsessed with anything credit card shaped and I should have known he'd be all about smacking some prostitution cards across the floor.  I have no idea what my in laws must have thought whenever they watched the cats for us because to this day I still find them and know they must have seen one or two at some point.  It's like my cat knew they were funny and keep randomly placing them out in the open to bare my shame.

    Since Thanksgiving will now be twice as awkward this year, what harm could it do to post about figures inspired by those very calling cards?  Public Figures has created a line of four resin figures and slapped em on blown up versions of these vert racy advertisements.  I'm only showing you one, cause believe me the others are not nearly as safe for work as this is, and I know most people read my blog when either on the toilet, on a contraband cell phone in prison, or while they're pretending to do their job.  I'm not trying to have the boss sneak up behind you while looking at such content!

   All four of these ladies trying to put themselves through law school will be available beginning on September 1st by visiting publicfigures.co.uk.  And at only £25 each, how could you go wrong?

Epic Review Time Featuring the Tenacious Toys Exclusive Muckoid from Last Resort Toys

     Last week, during a marathon of Monsters Inside Me, my wife comes home and said that friends of ours were at Best Buy trying to capture a kitten.  The little guy was out there all alone and scared, so of course I was willing to catch up on my favorite tv show about parasites another time.  We spent a few hours out there the first night and were unable to capture the cat.  The next day she spends most of the day out there with traps and some sort of horrible smelling seafood medley and I joined her as soon as I got off from work.  The cat had moved from the relatively cleanliness of the bushes just outside of the front entrance and had taken up residence in a swampy retention pond that was tree lined and over grown.  By playing kitten sounds on our cell phones we were able to coax him out of his hiding place and into one of the traps for a much needed meal.  Foolishly we thought this was the end of the ordeal, that is until the kitten stood on the trigger for the trap and nothing happened.  The little bugger wasn't heavy enough to set it off.  After completing his meal he crawled back into the underbrush which was a little too close to a busy street, so there I go into the thick of things trying to drive it back out towards everyone else.  I'm sweating, covered in dirt, and then I spot a giant hole, running almost parallel to the ground.  I couldn't see inside of it so I grab one of the reeds that are growing from the primordial ooze nearby in an effort to gently see if he is in the hole when the damn thing slices my finger open.  This filthy plant that is thriving in the water from the Devil's urinal has cut me open and shared whatever yuck it was harboring with my blood stream.  Having just watched hours worth of parasitic creatures that nearly killed people under similar circumstances I am internally freaking out.  The picture above is what I imagine is feasting on my bone marrow as I type.

    This feisty bugger is called Muckoid and he is part of The Trash Bag Bunch XL line from Last Resort Toys.  Every time I see the name Last Resort Toys I want to sing that Papa Roach song, but only the intro because my name is not Kyle and my shenanigans are not fueled by Monster energy drink.  The rest of the song is not funny anyway.

    If this figure is giving you wacky flashbacks from your childhood you should probably first make sure you're not on drugs.  Just kidding, as this guy was actually part of The Trash Bag Bunch series from the 1990's, which is without question my favorite time musically.  Imagine having a whole load of the little vintage figures and surrounding this bad boy with them to make a killer display?  Go on, imagine it!!!!!!

     As far as toys go from that time period I sadly invested my money in Starting Lineup figures, which depreciated faster than a chicken sandwich left in a car that is subsequently parked at the airport for a week.  Nothing says welcome home from a long flight quite like discovering why a gang of buzzards is trying to smash your windshield.

As soon as you turn around I'm going to pee on this.  

    The first thing one notices about this figure is that it is massive. It's 7 and a half inches tall and probably just as wide.  It's got more booty than an Instagram model and enough rows of teeth to make a great white shark envious. And what are those claws for?  Being that he has only one on each arm I'm guessing it's not so he can pitch for the Yankees.  And his mouth not only exposes those aforementioned teeth and suspiciously textured forked tongue, but it doubles as a holding place for my janitor sized bundle of keys.  How many of your other toys can claim they're actually earning the shelf space they require?

No I don't know what half of them are for but I'm terrified to get rid of any.

    He is articulated at both arms and at all four of his eyes, allowing for you to pose him in a few different ways, all of which are menacing.  My favorite pose involves him being a meth-induced apparition ala Dickens's "A Christmas Carol" that visits a boy named Kyle who passes out in a dumpster behind a Papa Roach concert and then goes on to become the man that reverses global warming.  Read that one to your kids this Christmas, ya communists!!!!!!


    This color is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys and can only be purchased by visiting www.tenacioustoys.com.  Don't get your mom to drive you out to the 5 and Dime looking for one cause context clues are hard.  Tenacious Toys has the lock on any blue toy that's worth owning.  It's kinda their thing.  Did you also know that Tenacious Toys has ways you can pay for your purchases that I've never even heard of?  I was looking at their website today and I had to Google some of them to find out what they were.  All kinds of crypto currencies that I had no idea existed.  But again, I thought my Starting Lineup collection was gonna pay for college, so I guess I shouldn't expect to know about high finance.

A Trio of Vinyl Clouds from Amanda Visell x Fluffy House

    New Jersey weather has been off the chain as of late and two, count em TWO, days in a row we have had a half hour of Biblical grade thunderstorms followed by gorgeous sunshine.  I went to lunch at work one of those days and when I clocked out the sky was black and pouring rain and by the time I clocked back in it looked like a tropical postcard that you would buy in an airport.  The weather is playing with my emotions and I do not appreciate it.

   All three of these cloud figures from Amanda Visell and Fluffy House represent what has become a typical day in New Jersey weather, though I'm sure she didn't have that in mind while designing them.  Standing at 5 inches and retailing for $55 each, choosing just one would be as hard as choosing what clothes to wear to accommodate our ever changing climate.  Check em out by visiting https://fluffyhouse.bigcartel.com.