The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies Pop! Vinyl from Funko

   Oh am I ever excited for the last Hobbit movie to come out.  The first one was ok, but I was completely in love with the second one.  It was the closest to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and really brought back good memories of seeing those in the theater.  Even after nearly three hours I was completely ready for them to go ahead and finish the story.  

    And just how amazing does Middle Earth look in every film?  I wish Sharon and I could move there, but first they're gonna need to install some Wi-Fi cause I've kinda become addicted to this whole internet thing.  And I'd really like to check out their bathroom situation, cause that was never addressed in the books or the movies.  I would imagine the elves have thoroughly addressed indoor plumbing, as they don't seem to be a people down with using the closest bush.  But what about Mordor and all of the orcs?  Seriously, I live near Camden, which makes Mordor look like Magic Mountain.  They would mug Sauron in a heart beat.  

    You know if a new film is coming out you gotta get some new toys as well.  Funko will be releasing these new Pop! Vinyl figures in October and they include foxy elf Tauriel (who wasn't in the book but I'll let it slide because Evangeline Lilly), Sauron, and two super sized versions of Smaug:  the regular one has black eyes and 1 out of 12 of them will have those creepy serpent eyes that you'll be seeing as you try to sleep later.  

Muskolator Preorder from Goodleg Toys

  Bro, do you even lift?  I know I don't.  I lift the remote to turn the channel on the tv, but I don't think I'm gonna get too ripped doing that.  But on the bright side, if my arms don't get huge, I won't have to buy new shirts!!!  See, it's not just laziness, it makes perfect economic sense as well.   I would like to be able to instill fear into people just by walking into a room, but sometimes you can't live all of your dreams.  

    Muskolator isn't about that chill lifestyle.  He's about downing the 'roids, getting ripped, and beating up punks that don't call each other "bro".  Check out that little guy on his left fist?  He's got 3-D glasses on so he can get all the gory details as he's pounding your face meat into a pudding.  Who else but Goodleg Toys could come up with such a monstrosity?  No one, it was a rhetorical question.  You can preorder one of these suckers right this instant in two different versions.  You can order him bagged for $85, or you can order him carded with some sweet artwork for $105.  Make it happen at http://goodlegtoys.storenvy.com/.  

Toy Art Gallery's 5th Anniversary Show Featuring Vertebrata

    Toy Art Gallery is celebrating their 5th Anniversary this Saturday by inviting a lot of really weird looking chicks to come and hang out with their friends and customers.  No, I don't mean girls from some backwoods strip club (I pass by three on the way to work and it doesn't get any more sketchy than hillbilly strip clubs) I'm talking about Vertebrata.  The crazy brain child of Paul Kaiju and Blobpus has been customized by some of the most well known toy artists out there and they will be on display beginning with the opening reception on Saturday.  If you live in the Los Angeles area you should go and check it out, cause it will be more fun than laughing at people with botched plastic surgery.  

Two More NYCC Exclusives from myplasticheart

    New York Comic Con begins in less than a month and I have yet to see many announcements about exclusives.  Come on people, you're killing my ability to create an effective budget!  Thankfully myplasticheart is on the ball and here we have two more toys that you'll only be able to get at their booth.  Up first is Astronocchio from Dave Bondi.  These dudes are hand made with resin, stand 5 inches tall, are limited to 25 pieces, and will sell for $65 each.  

    This dude reminds me of a rogue olive.  Not that I've ever seen a rogue olive, but if one were to turn on you I imagine this is what it would look like.  This is of course Lou Pimentel's very popular Junior figure, and if I remember correctly they sell out of these every year.  So get there early, or find a good toy mule to smuggle you one.  Just be specific that you don't want him to use the same techniques one would apply to bringing drugs over the border.  You'll only make that mistake once.  $35 will get you one and Lou would be happy to sign it for you as he's always hanging around during the convention.  

Thor Series 2 Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    In Norse mythology, Thor rides around on a chariot that is drawn by two huge goats.  In my real life, I now drive around in a Hyundai Accent that makes me look like I'm gonna take the kids to tee ball practice.  Yesterday the wife and I bought our first ever car from an actual car dealership after our truck, which we had for nearly 12 years and put well over 200,000 miles on it, was determined to need repairs that far exceeded its worth.  She works close to home so she is now the proud commandI on my much longer commute in our new, and uber practical, little grey car.  To tell you the truth I was skeptical about it, but it's kinda like driving a go kart.  I just really don't want to pay for it, so I'm gonna need someone to throw me a telethon or something.  I've lived a long time without a car payment, and the amount of paper work they make you sign makes me think that I may have given them the right to come in and take my internal organs while I sleep.  Their tactics to make you sign your life away are pretty sneaky.  It was so hot I couldn't stop sweating and all they had to drink was coffee and it was like something that I'm sure the United Nations should probably look into.  All I know is that I was starving and willing to do just about anything to get a hamburger and some air conditioning.  They use the same tactics to get people to confess to murders.  

     Thor's friends never have to worry about down payments or interest rates or gap insurance.  And they get to sword fight and wear killer armor.  It's pretty much the best life ever, and while we can't live in Asgard our avoid the trappings of modern transportation, we can own these Pop! Vinyl figures from Funko and live vicariously through them.  Well, this October we can anyway, cause that's when they're released.  

    

    

NYCC Exclusive Sylvan Yeti from Gary Ham x Pobber Toys x myplasticheart

    It's that time of year again.  Time for me to start doing push-ups so I can fight my way through the crowds of New York Comic Con.  Every year it seems like they manage to pack more people into that building, making walking from one end of the con to the other a more physical sport than it needs to be.  It actually wouldn't be so bad if people didn't stop cosplayers in the middle of the walkway to pose for pictures.  Dude, I get that you NEEEEEEEEEED your photo with every girl dressed as Slave Leia because you're not one to pass up an exposed midriff, but just know that if you clog up the thoroughfare and I'm close enough, I'm gonna make the worst face you've ever seen in your life and ensure it is there forever to ruin your fantasy moment.  No matter who you show your pictures to, all they'll want to know is what's up with the angry looking bridge troll in the background.  I'm not just doing it because I'm a jerk, I'm doing it for all of those people that had to get way too close to sweaty strangers because you decided to create a traffic jam of epic nerd proportions.   One day they will build a statue of me outside of the Javits Center for my contributions to mankind and my dedication to keeping it moving.  

    But let's focus on what's really important about comic con, and that's the exclusive toys.  myplasticheart has been kind enough to get the ball rolling with Sylvan Yeti from Gary Ham and Pobber Toys.  This chilly fella is limited to 50 pieces and will be priced at $75 each and available at booth # 113.  

"Choices" from Jermaine Rogers is Available Now

    Mur-der Bun-ny! Mur-der Bun-ny!  This little guy seems to be in the midst of a very tough decision involving what to do with that knife.  Does he make himself a bangin' peanut butter and jelly sandwich?  Does he carve himself a primitive gnome out of wood to watch over his carrot patch?  Or does he straight murder some fool for disrespecting him?  Those red beady eyes make me think that someone's internal organs are gonna get some new ventilation holes.  But he remains undecided just what he's gonna do, as his name "Choices" reflects.  This newest figure from Jermaine Rogers stands 8 inches tall, is limited to 500 pieces, and will probably startle you have to death when you get up in the middle of the night to tinkle.  He's available now wherever you prefer to buy your fancy toys.  

Porcelain Skull "TJ" from NooN x K. Olin Tribu

    Wouldn't it be fun if all of our skulls had secret artwork on them depending on our personalities?  Then when we die they could all be placed in a great big museum for other people to come and look at and wonder what mysterious images their own skulls might contain.  And right here you have witnessed my greatest curse.  It's that I'm so great at coming up with ideas that cannot be replicated and sold for millions of dollars.  Just yesterday I created an idea for real life montages, just like the ones in the movies, that would help you get all of your work done in a fraction of the time it actually takes.  Got a big project coming up?  Let me sell you this montage and finish it in no time!  Wanna train for a heavy weight fight but have little to no experience?  Don't be silly, in the course of one of my montages you'll not only learn all the skills you need, but be the best at them!  I was ready to take this idea to Shark Tank and make Mark Cuban give me all his money, but alas, my product is but a figment of an over active imagination.  Why can't I invent something tangible that can be factory made and sold on early morning infomercials?  

    If you long for a finely decorated skull like I do, how about one of these beauties from K. Olin Tribu and NooN.  Made with the finest porcelain, each one is hand decorated with vintage motifs (my high school art teacher is so proud of me right now).  Only 50 were made and are available right now at http://www.artandtoys.com/.

Aphrodite A from Mazinger Z by threezero

    If this picture doesn't sell you on how badly you need this toy in your life, then I don't know what else I can do.  Not only that but my brain is overloaded with so many juvenile things that I can barely form complete sentences.  But I'm going to compose myself, be an adult about this, and try not to think about her boobie missiles.   Too late.

    You already know that threezero makes the most stunning toys you've ever seen in your life, so it shouldn't surprise you how awesome Aphrodite A here is looking.  She stands 15 inches tall and is about as articulated as a figure can get, down to her jointed fingers.  And she lights up!  And boobie missiles! (I tried so hard, but it's just too overwhelming for me)

    This foxy mech from Mazinger Z will be available for preorder beginning September 5th at 9am Hong Kong time.  Such perfection doesn't come cheap, but $290 is hardly unreasonable for a figure so detailed.  Seriously, your car probably doesn't have this many features.  And she's gonna come with the severed head of Garada K7 as a special bonus.  And yes, the boobie missiles do indeed fire, which will no doubt provide hours of entertainment for the entire family.  

http://www.threezerostore.com/ 

      

The Bad Knight from Peter Kato Debuts Tomorrow!

    I'm all for keeping the past alive, it's a very important thing to do.  But there are some things that you shouldn't still practice today even though it may have been popular once.  Like witch burnings (you never get the smell out of your clothes) or dying of small pox, or jousting.  Maybe hundreds of years ago the idea of two armor-clad dudes on horse back riding full speed at each other with wooden poles seemed like a good idea, but when your life expectancy was so short you didn't really have to be that concerned about your personal well being.  Now if you take a lance to the chest and smack your head on the ground, chances are you'll live to be very old and very dumb.  Yet even with the threat of being turned into a vegetable ever looming, people are actually doing this again.  I grew up in the South and we did some pretty dumb stuff when we were bored, but we never got medieval about it.   Supposedly the lances they use are designed to break apart more easily, which to me means that instead of dying from blunt force trauma you'll just bleed to death from an overly ambitious splinter in your neck.  

    You want a real man's sport?  Try typing while you have a cat dancing on your keyboard.  Half the time when I post this stuff I'm never sure what actually makes it onto the internet.  Words get switched around, entire sentences get deleted.  Yes, the threat of bodily harm is pretty low, but occasionally you get the errant claw or tooth that will let you know how displeased they are at you for interrupting their fun.  Cat's hair and my blood are caked beneath every key, which sounds like it could be poetic, or something.  

    Peter Kato's Bad Knight figure looks like he probably isn't into extreme typing like I am.  Probably because he doesn't have actual hands, which could be a hinderance.  He's one mean looking dude though, and you can get one to guard all of your valuables when he goes on sale tomorrow night at 9pm Eastern time through http://peterkatoshop.com/.  He'll be offering up 8 of them in this color scheme as well as an edition of 12 of his Ninja-Robo figures you see below.  

WWE.COM Exclusive Pop! Vinyls from Funko

    This week Sharon and I have been engrossed in the WWE Network watching all the Monday Night War episodes about the WWE vs. WCW feud in the 90's.  That was probably the best time ever to be a wrestling fan, because you had these two companies that hated each other so much they would do almost anything to get you to watch.  Competition breeds creativity and there's nothing more entertaining than watching people fall off of ladders and through tables.  I still watch wrestling, though I did take a long break from it, and I still enjoy it, even if the results can at times be a little predictable.  There's something about it that just sucks you in.  And seeing it live is like nothing else in the world.  The crowd is made up of people from every walk of life and seeing the kids there decked out in their favorite wrestler's merch and holding their signs reminds me of when I used to go when I was little.  I was always mesmerized that these characters I watched on tv every week were in the same place as I was and other people all over the world were at home watching what I was seeing unfold in person.  There aren't too many of my favorite tv shows that I can just go and watch as they film an episode, let alone feel a part of.  

    I got a little sidetracked there, but here's the meat of the issue.  You like toys?  Yup.  You like wrestling?  Yup.  Then get yourself some wrestling toys sucker.  Of course, we being grown ups (I hope you're a grown up or else your parents need stricter controls on what they let you read online) we need things that are more collectible than what we used to play with outside.  That's what I dig about Pop! Vinyls from Funko.  They have this fun feel to them, but they also feel a little more grown up, like you could fill your desk with them at the office and not everyone will think you're completely weird.  No guarantees though.  And www.wwe.com have these John Cena and AJ Lee figures available right now to add to your collection.  You could make em hold hands and make CM Punk jealous, then you could start your own fantasy matches that I can assure you your coworkers will find strange.  Best to keep those to yourself.     

Black Magic Witch Hunter from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    Do you ever have days that are just so amazing that you have to run out and buy a lottery ticket just to see if your good fortune will turn into a monetary windfall?  I had one of those days yesterday.  First and foremost, I had the day off, which in and of itself is pretty nice.  Then I got a phone call saying that someone I "worked" with ( I use the term loosely) found another job and quit, which saves me the 

trouble of finding an abandoned well, tricking him to meet me there, and giving him the whole "This is Sparta" treatment.  Then Twitter let me know that one of my favorite authors has a new book coming out in October.  And finally, and most importantly, my cat Ophelia had a good visit at the vet.  Sadly, I forgot to buy a lottery ticket, but I did get a Slurpee and that's a definite win.

    Speaking of lotteries (you see what I did there? oh my goodness the transition was flawless) Mutant Vinyl Hardcore has a pretty sweet lottery running this very minute that you probably want to get in on.  It's for this super sick Black Magic Witch Hunter.  Just read the name again.  Good God do I even need to type anything else?  How could you not want it?  You better check with your local government office and see if you need a permit to own something this brutal in your town.  Right now there is a band forming somewhere in Norway that will only write songs in tribute to this guy.  Some kid in algebra class will be drawing this dude on his notebook and probably get sent to the guidance counselor for psychological testing.  And he comes with accessories.  He comes with a sick trident with a severed head at the end of it and a haunted axe.  When you really need to get the job done why settle for a regular Home Depot axe when there's a haunted one available?  I know I wouldn't.  

    Here's the important stuff.  To enter the lottery visit http://www.mutantvinylhardcore.com/lotteries/ and put in all your pertinent information.  Then start praying, and hoping, and wishing, and whatever else you think might help you get your name pulled so you have the opportunity to buy one of these.  The lottery closes tonight at 11:59pm so stop thinking about it and just do it.  

T-1 (Tea Minus One) from DMS

    I don't ever remember wanting to go to space as a kid.  I wanted to go to Egypt and see the pyramids, but space didn't do it for me.  I guess if I could be guaranteed some Star Wars stuff would go down I' be interested, but if I'm just stuck eating out of tubes and peeing into a vacuum cleaner I'm not really interested.  Zero gravity sounds pretty cool for a while, like until you have to use the bathroom at which point I imagine it gets real old real fast.  Could you picture eating a bad space burrito and the vacuum toilet breaks?  You'll be begging for sweet death to come and end it all.  

    Check out this Lunartik Cup of Tea all set for launch.  He's not worried about space toilets at all.  This custom figure was created by DMS and 15 of you lucky Earth dwellers will be able to own one when they go on sale tomorrow at 11pm BST.  They're only $79.99 plus shipping and each one will be made to order.  Pick one up for yourself at 

Paul Kaiju's Gacha Minis in Orange from Toy Art Gallery

    The thing about collecting anything is that you are eventually going to run out of usable space.  And being that you spent all of your money on what you collect, chances are you're not going to be able to upgrade your living situation on a whim.  So you have to get creative.  Like how I use the space beneath my stairs in the basement to store all of the packaging from the toys I buy.  It's starting to look like the storage room from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  

(Actual picture from beneath my stairs.  That's David, our mutant boy who is in charge of sorting all of the boxes.  He works for 2 fish a week and access to our cable television.)  

     Of course if you're running out of space to store packaging you've gotta be getting tight on places you can actually show off the toys you love.  Fill those little nooks and crannies to capacity by adding some of Paul Kaiju's Gacha Minis to the mix.  This bright orange edition will be available tomorrow from Toy Art Gallery at noon Pacific time.  Each two inch figure is $15 or you can buy the whole set for $60, which essentially gets you one for free.  Oh math, how I have bested you yet again. 

http://shop.toyartgallery.com/

3AGO 8 Inch Figure Line from 3A is Available Now

    I love the worlds that 3A creates with their incredibly detailed toys, but I've yet to pull the trigger on actually owning some of them myself.  Usually I'll see something I want, but my finances won't be where I need them to be in order to pick one up.  That's why I was pretty excited to learn about their new 8 inch figure line called 3AGO.  They're taking some of their most popular characters, shrinking them down a bit, and pricing them at only $45 each.  They have 10 different figures up for sale right now at http://www.bambalandstore.com/ and they will ship out this December.  Here are just a few of the pieces they are offering in this first wave:

Eric Smith Launches Project: Vulkira on Kickstarter

    When is the government gonna start spending our tax dollars wisely and build one of these suckers for real?  You have a couple of these stationed along the coastlines and you will have effectively stopped conflicts before they even start.  Who is gonna pick a fight with the United States when we can just say "oh, I'm sorry, would you like me to send my 20-story tall war robot over there to talk to you about that"?  And not only that, but you'll create tons of jobs just building them, and you could station them in places so they become tourist attractions, and you could make souvenirs that everyone would want, and maybe at-home security system models.  I have single handedly created a billion dollar industry just this second while sitting here in my underwear.  Ok, you didn't need to know that last part, but it does attest to how effortlessly I create billion dollar industries.  

    Eric Smith has inspired me to overhaul our nation's defense department with Project: Vulkira.  His 8 inch tall foe of monsters everywhere just launched on Kickstarter right now where it needs your help to become reality.  This toy is going to be produced by my friends over at Unbox Industries, so you know it's not gonna suck, and it really doesn't need much money to get the ball rolling.  Head over to this link and check out all the sweet rewards you can get for helping to fund this project.  And the toy itself is really affordable at only $60 (shipped in the US), considering it's size,  the fact that it's articulated at 3 points, and it comes with removable fists, drill, and missile launcher.  That's a lot of value, son!   You know you get paid this week, so get to it!

Large Albino Heathrows from Frank Kozik on Sale Today!!!

    I have never been tan a day in my life.  It's scientifically proven ya know.  I'll get a sunburn, then it will peel off and I'll be paler than I was before.  Which is weird when you live in New Jersey, where so many folks look like old footballs that had been set on fire.  I used to work with a girl who was a big fan of bronzer and you could always tell where she had been because there would be little tan fingerprints all over.  She would have been a pretty terrible criminal.  

    While I am destined to have the skin tone of a fresh corpse, ol Heathrow here has taken on the complexion of those weird cave critters that never see the light of day.  You could start up your own curiosity show with one of these and hope that Kozik makes a wolf boy and a two headed version in the near future.  That could be a nice part time job.  

    These go on sale today at noon Pacific time over at www.frankkozik.net.  

Aura Glowing Head from Colin Christian

     Colin Christian makes some of the most amazing sculptures you will ever see in your life.  His intergalactic females have been featured in art shows around the world, and while I would like nothing more than to own one for myself, I'm a little short on funds.  But Colin's a good dude who is nice enough to make things that anyone can own even while they're saving up for one of his huge pieces.  Check out this Aura glowing head for example.  This beauty is 10 and 1/2 inches tall and features a color changing LED light behind translucent resin.  Dim the lights, throw on some "Dark Side of the Moon", and think about how you're well on your way to being a serious art collector.  Only 50 of them were made and they come signed and numbered for only $275.  Pick one up for yourself at http://www.colinchristian.com/.

WWE Sofubi Figures from Medicom

    How come nobody told me about these?  You know I love my wrasslin', and you know I love Japanese toys, so I'm kinda disappointed I wasn't bombarded with emails.  It's ok, I forgive you all.  Everything I have attempted to find out about these has been in a language other than English, which is unfortunate, cause it's the only one I know.  I did take French for a few years in high school but I only did that because I figured all of the cute girls would be there.  I always was too self conscious to really get do the accent or to talk to any of the girls, so the classes were a total bust.  The idea behind taking French was sound though, and I stand behind it.  

   What I've been able to gather is that both of these are officially licensed by WWE, made by Medicom, and available now for about $80 each in America money.  If you want to order one, and your Japanese is as none existent as mine, check out this link here, as it allows you to translate the page into English.  These ship in December of this year.  

Tenacious Toys Exclusive "Purple Haze" Daigomi from Guumon

    Driving into Atlantic City you will pass by a giant landfill that has a distinct smell of monster farts.  You will then smell it again after you've lost all of your money, signed over the title of your car to a loan shark, and are forced to walk back up the expressway in an attempt to hitch hike home.  It tried to warn you, that your get rich quick scheme involving your retirement fun and a blackjack table was a stinker.  Afterwards it's just rubbing it in, a noxious "I told you so" from old baby diapers and rotting Chinese food.  Luckily I am smart enough to live far enough away from it that I have not become used to the smell, but anytime I drive by it I'm expecting the odor is actually coming from the formation of a gigantic monster beneath the surface, coming to wreak havoc on us for our wasteful ways.  Daigomi is our reckoning, and you're gonna wish you recycled your cans now, punk!

   I can't say enough nice things about this figure.  Each time I see one I notice some new little detail worked into the design, with different paint schemes revealing new secrets.  Guumon has painted up a grand total of 6 of these figures in the "Purple Haze" color way, and they are exclusives to the good folks of Tenacious Toys.  There's even a chase version that involves a bit more gold near the head.  These will be available via a lottery system that will begin today.  Here is what you have to do for a chance to own one of these beauties:

To enter the Lottery, email us at tenacioustoys at gmail and include this information: Title the email with "Purple Haze Daigomi" and in the body of the email please include this info: Full name and address, plus paypal account username. Lottery closes on Friday. Winners will be chosen at random, only the winners will be contacted....one piece per household. Each of the 6 pieces will be $150+shipping. We will give you ship options & prices.

    May the toy gods be forever in your favor, or something.  

Super Deformed Voltron from Toynami

    Time for a nostalgia trip.  I remember one Christmas when I was a kid, getting all of those die cast metal Voltron lions that combined to form the giant robot.  Each one of those suckers could have broken your toe if you dropped it and when you combined them all you had a lethal weapon of awesomeness.  Now I can't see anything like that ever being marketed to kids again, what with the threat of them actually toughening up and all.  Can't have that!   

   But for all of us that grew up with Voltron and lived through the emergency room visits for the broken bones it caused, we can relive our fun times with this new super deformed version.  I'm not even being a jerk calling him super deformed cause that's what it's marketed as.  He comes with a bunch of swords and faces and led lights and is partly made of die cast so you can crack the skull of the guy in the cubicle next to you who makes fun of your newest desk accessory.  He's available for preorder now by clicking on that Entertainment Earth button you see to your right.  

Bone Usir Dx from Splurrt x Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    Ok, I need this.  Like, really badly.  I was gonna start a campaign on that Go Fund Me website so I could raise enough cash to buy one, but then I felt kinda bad because there were people there with legitimate issues that could really use the help.  But I'm not above shameless begging on my own website, free of disasters or diseases that might make me feel like a bit of a heel.  Donate now, donate often, because like an otter to an ice cream sandwich:

   Now that I have made my impassioned plea, I shall tell you more about the object of my affections.  This, the greatest toy of this year, nay, this decade, is the Bone Usir DX.  Featuring the combined workings of Splurrt and Mutant Vinyl Hardcore, this fine specimen will be available this Saturday at noon Eastern time in both of the versions you see above.  I don't know how much they'll be, but I do know that they will only be available from http://splurrt.bigcartel.com/.

NYCC Exclusive Sons of Anarchy Figures from Mezco

    So I read on Twitter this morning that Kurt Sutter, the creator of Sons of Anarchy, had a dream where he ended the series by revealing the entire show was all just a day dream Jax was having while driving his Vespa to Starbucks.  The amount of people that would have lost their minds if that actually happened would have been totally worth doing it.  Hopefully they'll actually film that and make it a bonus on the dvd set.  And I'm almost ashamed to admit how relatable that scenario is.  My wife is always asking me for stories about my day, which I spend the entirety of standing in front of machines and making eye glasses.  It's not really the stuff great tales are made of.  But amid the sometimes maddening sounds of sharp blades carving through chunks of plastic I find my mind wandering beyond the confines of my sterile looking room.  I get so deep in thought that I only snap out of it when someone inevitably comes in to ask me a question and scares me to the brink of a heart attack.  I really need to buy a dead bolt for my door.

    You know where they have lots of doors that lock?  Prison.  Though I doubt you really get to collect your thoughts very often while trying not to be shanked or made the object of some frightening dude's affections.  At this year's New York Comic Con, Mezco will be releasing these Jax and Clay variants that are decked out in the finest county issued outfits that tax money can buy.  If you're going to the convention you can pick them up at booth number 1855.  A limited amount will also be released online at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/exclusives/ starting this Friday, August 22nd.  

Saur-O-Man and Battle Bone from Goodleg Toys

    Let me tell you something, when I go to the flea market, I go hard.  The wife and I had just arrived to browse through all the junk that people were trying to get rid of when I spotted a full size Tie Fighter Pilot helmet.  This sucker was hard plastic and it fit my giant melon.  It even had a spider living in it which may or may not have laid eggs in my ear.  That's added value!!!!  The guy could see I was interested in his fine piece of Star Wars memorabilia, and he kept asking me a bunch of nonsense like "sir, can you please take the helmet off and stop twerking on my customers?"  How am I supposed to know if an item will suite my needs if I don't give it a test run?  What an idiot.  So I was like fine, I'll play his game.  I asked him how much he wanted for it and he said $20.  I placed the helmet back on the table, gave him my "you so crazy" look and the price magically lowered to $15.  I thought it was a decent number, so I got a $20 bill from my wife and made that sucker give me change.  My favorite thing to do is pay in the amount you originally wanted and make you give me some back.  That's how you know I'm the boss and I won the flea market that day.  

    My wife took $15 and was able to buy some crazy homemade tree stump with a collage of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and the Pope, some other Russian icon picture, and two ammonite fossils.  I still won though, cause you can't booty dance with ancient dead animals. 

   You thought that story was gonna have absolutely nothing to do with dinosaurs didn't you?  I know you did and it's ok.  I wasn't sure it was going to either, but sometimes I just like to surprise myself.  Goodleg Toys are pumping out the action figures like...like...someone who makes a lot of action figures and stuff.  They have not one but two new releases happening tomorrow.  The first is Saur-O-Man (bonus points for a successful Lord of the Rings reference).  The second is Battle Bone, who looks ready to rage.  Get em both when they go on sale Wednesday at midnight GMT at http://goodlegtoys.storenvy.com/.  

Tenacious Toys x Monster Kolor Custom Show at PIQ

   Tomorrow is Saturday and for many people that means not having to go to work.  I am not one of those people.  Nope, I'll be at work, making someone else richer.  But if you happen to be spending the day drenched in sweat from exploring the world and not from toiling away endlessly for the man, then you should check out the Tenacious Toys x Monster Kolor show at PIQ in New York City.  All the dates and times are right there in that handy flier you see.  Here are all the artists that are participating in the show:


D-LUX, 
Rampage Industries, 
Evilos, 
Forces of Dorkness, 
gorgoloid, 
Guumon, 
Jay222, 
John Cook Dooley, 
Josh Mayhem, 
Kid Ink Industries, 
Mark Nagata, 
MCA, 
MechaVirus, 
Michael Devera, 
Mr Munk, 
Prometheum 5, 
Shannon Deeds, 
Small Angry Monster, 
SoKo Cat, 
Erick Scarecrow, 
Sucklord

    And the cool thing is that the store is located right in Grand Central Station, which means if you don't feel like getting lost in the city you don't have too!  

Kozik Has a Flood of Releases for You Sometime Tonight

    Look at the amount of stuff is in this picture.  It's a lot right?  Well, sometime tonight it's all gonna be for sale at www.frankkozik.net.  What time exactly?  He won't say.  How much will any of it be?  It's a surprise.  What's the meaning of life?  Ham sandwich.  

Bedtime Bunnies Artist Series from Peter Kato featuring Andrea Kang

    OH MY GOD are these not the cutest things you've ever seen?  These remind me of marshmallows, and kittens, and the smell of my grandparent's attic, and sleeping in until noon.  These are beyond amazing and they should be sent to a factory somewhere so they can make enough so that everyone in the world is mailed one and they just have a better day.  That's the only way I can think to express how I feel about these Peter Kato Bedtime Bunnies that have been painted up by Andrea Kang.  This is the first time that another artist has embellished them and they are so adorable my head might explode, causing my wife to find quite the mess when she gets home from work.  

   Only 10 of these exist and they go on sale tonight at 9pm Eastern time only at http://peterkatoshop.com/.