New WWE Pop Vinyl Figures from Funko

 

    Oooooh man, I tried my best to make this post as authentic as I could so I wrote it while watching RAW last night.  I was trying to channel some good wrasslin vibes from my tv to my iPad and make internet gold for you, or at least something nice enough so Kevin Owens doesn't block me on Twitter.

   Funko is set to release a bunch of new WWE figures this August just in time for Summerslam.  They've got three of my faves from the current roster in Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt, and the aforementioned Kevin Owens, as well as Hall of Famer Brett Hart and Total Divas star Eva Marie.  Is it weird if I'm excited to buy them all and pretend to cut promos in the bathtub?  Try not to be jealous that you didn't think of it first.

    

"Twins" Shadow Black edition from Awesome Toy

    The Shining ruined a lot of things for a lot of people, but mostly only when those things were combined were they truly awful.  On their own there's nothing terrifying about writing a book (wait, scratch that) riding a big wheel, being secluded in a giant hotel, or a river of blood suddenly flooding a hallway.  But when combined, those very elements can turn what was only a mildly abusive husband with a bad idea into an axe wielding maniac who is no friend to bathroom doors.  But even without those other things, twins are sufficiently creepy all on their own.  That creepiness generally wears off the older that they get when they stop dressing alike and finishing the other's sentences, but what about if they were never allowed to get older and their ghosts are doomed to haunt unsuspecting tourists forever?  

   Awesome Toy wants to make sure you're never without a creepy set of twins to unnerve you with this pair of sofubi girls.  Just staring into their hollow eyes is enough to freak out the most jaded of us, so I personally think they would look best displayed in a room that you can lock at night and is preferably under video surveillance so the police believe your story when things go really wrong.  

    $150 will get you the set with a special background card recreating their infamous hallway, or you can get only one for half the fun and she alone will be $80.  Get em now at http://toyunderground.com/store/.

Magi Malificarum Sofubi Set from Martin Ontiveros X Toy Art Gallery

    I wish magic was real.  Not like "hey look how magical life is" kinda magic, but full blown wizard and dragons and lightning bolts from your finger tips magic.  I think I'd make a good wizard actually. Not like that wussy Harry Potter either, cause that's lame.  More like Gandalf but maybe with a wider mean streak.  I just don't want to limit myself by swearing to only being a good wizard cause that is a pretty big commitment and the last thing I'd want to do is handcuff myself with my powers.  I just might turn you into a newt if you piss me off, so you better realize that's on the table.

    If I'm going to become a wizard, which seems like a totally viable career option in this economy, then I'm going to need a mentor or three.  Oh my goodness, what timing for these little characters to enter my life.  Martin Ontiveros and Toy Art Gallery are releasing the first every painted run of their Magi Malificarum figures on Wednesday, June 8th at noon pacific time.  They're all colorful and glittery and somewhat menacing looking like they know secret spells that they don't ever use but totally could if need be.  Maybe they'll teach em to you, like dirty words in foreign languages.

www.toyartgallery.com

Otto Bjornik's Shah Mat Dunny Series from Kidrobot

    This Dunny set from Otto Bjornik and Kidrobot gives me major anxiety.  The designs are beautiful, the idea is brilliant, and I love the fact that I have the option to buy a complete set of figures in one fell swoop if I choose to.  What makes me anxious is the fact that in order to utilize them as a fully functioning chess set I would have to allow someone to touch them.  I get twitchy when people look at my stuff too long, so now I'm being asked to allow them to touch them with greasy fingers?  I wish you could experience me hyperventilate through the magic of the written word.  The obvious solution is that I would have to maintain the game board in a safe spot in my house, set up a webcam, and only play versus people living in foreign countries.  I am a genius.

    Of course, most of you are not weirdos (maybe) so you'll have no problem inviting your friends over for a friendly game of chess.  And this is way better than that "Heroes of the Civil War" set your pa-pa got from buying those Time Life books (though if you don't want yours I'll be happy to give it a home).

    You have two different options for obtaining these beautiful figures.  You can be sensible and buy the entire set, including game board, all at once. Or you can live dangerously and buy them as two packs in blind box form, which will include four tiles of the board.  Either way, you need these in your life, and that can happen when they are released on Friday, June 10th at www.kidrobot.com or wherever you procure your designer toys.

New Splurrt Madness from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Oh my goodness, I'm so happy that I'm off this Saturday so I have a chance at one of these.  I'm hardcore eyeballing those Cadaver Kids with the Usir heads.  Those vinyl colors are giving me the teenage feelings, too (love you Neko Case).

    Splurrt and Lulubell Toy Bodega have teamed up to bring you another huge release on Saturday, June 4th at noon pacific time.  Gaze upon the items you could very well own, but leave me one of those Usirs cause as the otter says:

    You're only allowed one of each color of each figure, so you can get the complete set that you see pictured if you so choose.  

Kibbles and Labbits Blind Box Series from Kidrobot

    Kibbles and Lab-bits, get it?  Oh, you gotta love a good pun.  And who doesn't love puppies?  Sickos, that's who.  The only thing that could make puppies better, besides them being able to train themselves, would be to also make them Labbits.  So Kidrobot has done some genetic wizardry and combined your favorite breeds with Frank Kozik's little bunny dude and the result is this blind box series.  They will be available starting Friday, June 3rd at www.kidrobot.com or wherever else you buy your toys.

Edward Scissorhands Bishoujo Statue from Kotobukiya

  Oh, Johnny Depp is going through it now.  I'm sure he'd rather be in the news for that dumb Alice in Wonderland sequel than his relationship, but the later just happens to be better suited for television.  There used to be a time however, when his creative output could eclipse anything else going on in his life, like when he was the creepily pasty guy Edward Scissorhands.  Kotobukiya is hardening back to those days with this new Bishoujo statue that kind of looks like Winona Ryder taking over the title character.  This goth chick is available for preorder right now from www.kotous.com.

The Next Two Horrible Adorables Figures From Kidrobot Have Arrived

        Critter story of the week:  Sharon and I return from grocery shopping to find two chipmunks eating bird seed from below our feeder.  One was a baby and decided that it's best course of action upon seeing us would be to bunny hop each step on our porch and explore.  It was cute as hell but we were both loaded down with groceries cause we'll be damned if we'll make two trips to the car, so we kind of needed him to speed up his adventuring so he didn't really freak out and try to jump from the porch to the ground.  The bags got heavier as gravity pulled them closer to the ground and this little dude was just having the best time.  Finally we just gave up and waited till the fun ran out and he came down on his own.  I didn't say it was an epic critter story.

     Horrible Adorables and Kidrobot have released the latest two figures in their collaboration.  Expertly produced by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks, they are ready to find their forever home with you.  And all you have to do is dust them every once in a while, which is way less work than any real life pets require.  Get em now at www.kidrobot.com or wherever you prefer to buy your toys.

Celebrate Pay Day With New Releases from doubleparlour

     It's that time once again to fill your life with the bizarre, the exotic, and the esoteric courtesy of the resin stylings of doubleparlour.  Take a gander at some of the releases they will have on Friday, March 27th at noon pacific time, then direct your browser's attention to http://doubleparlour.myshopify.com to treat yourself to something nice.  Go on, you deserve it!

Josh Mayhem's Blown Away Dunny Enamel Pins

    Josh Mayhem hit a dang gone home run when he came up with his Blown Away Dunny customs.  Those things became increasingly harder to get with each release and if you don't have one I bet you wish you did.  Well, I can't help you in that department but I can help by telling you about his new enamel pins that immortalize his stroke of toy designing genius.  There's only 100 of em, and each one will come signed and numbered on the card.  You can snazz up you wardrobe when these are released Friday, May 27th at noon pacific time at www.joshmayhem.com.

Morgogg (Steel Bearing Hand) from Skinner

    It is important that when you welcome people into your home for a visit that you lay down the ground rules without the use of words, but merely through your decor.  People will try and trick you and get their mail delivered to your house and stay indefinitely without the benefit of monetary compensation, but rather than offend them with a sharp tongue I prefer to own things that will make them think that living with me would be worse than squatting in an abandoned campground.  Here's some tips that I have proven through rigorous field testing:

1)  Always keep your basement door closed and never offer to show it to anyone when you give a tour of your digs.  Yeah, you may have a sweet vintage Kiss pinball machine down there, but you also may have the mummified corpse of a gypsy who grants you wishes.  No one has ever been frightened away by Kiss pinball.

2.)  There's no such thing as owning too many skulls.

3.)  An altar on the back of your toilet to appease the child who may or may not haunt the bathtub goes a long way toward making someone wonder whether they could do their business in such an environment.  If you have two bathrooms fill the other with litter boxes.  Bonus crazy points if you don't actually have cats.    

4.)  Most importantly, collect some beastly looking toys to fill all your free space.  Make sure their wee beedy eyes are pointing at all times at the only places that guests can sit.  You'll be shocked and/or amazed at how fast they will pick up the excessive amount of suitcases they brought with them to Thanksgiving dinner and head off to search for the next sucker to take them in.  

    Skinner makes a living off of making your non toy collecting friends uncomfortable with his creations, like this dude Morgogg.  He's big, he's mean, and he looks like if he were real he would smell like a tannery.  He's pretty much perfect, and if you want to own one of em you're gonna have to send an email to criticalhit.info@gmail.com to enter the lottery for the chance to purchase.  Do it right now, cause Friday at noon Skinner is gonna send out emails to the lucky folks and you want that to be you, right?  Of course you do.  

Boshi Neko "Foofy" edition from Candie Bolton x Grody Shogun

 

    This toy is giving me mad flashbacks to back to school shopping for Trapper Keepers and trying on jeans for hours until my spirit was as chafed as my legs and being promised that I could get McDonalds if I didn't complain too much.  Do they even still make Trapper Keepers, cause those things were the best.  Except when those plastic little rings that held your papers started to wear out and wouldn't close all the way, or when you ripped one of the pockets and all your stuff would fall out.  Never mind, those things sucked.

    I don't know what kind of substances Lisa Frank needed to create her seizure inducing world of bright colors and baby animals, but you can't convince me they were made with a sober mind.  Candie Bolton has perfectly recreated that look with this Boshi Neko edition she has named after her own kitty.  It has that perfect ratio of "I'm adorable" and "I will murder you in your sleep", which is a delicate balance indeed.  These are available for preorder right now from http://www.lulubelltoys.com through June 1st or until the allotment runs out.

    

Alley Kids Enamel Pin Collection from Josh Divine

 

    Just like neck tattoos and chest length beards, enamel pins are suddenly not just for bikers.  Now they're cropping up everywhere, becoming just as collectible as the toys we all love.  So is it any surprise that the concept artist from Kidrobot is getting in on it with designs of his own?  Josh Divine (whose name sounds like he could be a professional wrestler who enters the ring to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me", which makes me kind of jealous, cause my name just sounds like it belongs in the police blotter) wants to introduce you to the Alley Kids, a collection of 12 characters that span all walks of life.  The first three to be announced include a skateboarder, a rocker chick, and a black metal dude who looks a little too happy to be that close to fire.  They are limited to 100 of each style and are available for preorder right now at http://www.alley-kids.com.  

 

Death is Coming Courtesy of Godmachine x Mighty Jaxx

   We have a cat named Jorah, who we try to keep an eye on at all times, because the moment you lose sight of him he is plotting your demise.  He's not malicious in any sense, but his manner of amusement usually ends with my wife and I debating whether or not stitches are called for.  There was a time when we thought we had maybe brought in some new species of wild cat, as all would be quiet one minute and the next he's riding our shoulders like a rodeo bull.  He's cute though, which is his saving grace.

    If I could keep an eye on any other being, Death would probably be a good choice, as he is equally prone to strike without warning.  Now Godmachine and Mighty Jaxx are giving you the chance to curb his shenanigans by inviting him into your home.  I would place that sucker right by the tv, cause that's what I spend the most time staring at.  He will be available beginning May 21st at 10am est from http://mightyjaxx.rocks.  

Bai Chu (Li Fu Edition) from Otto Bjornik X Stranger Factory

    When you think about traditional American horror films, the terror is usually confined to one specific area.  It could be a town, or an abandoned camp, or a haunted house, but generally if you can remove yourself from the scene you will live to see the sequel.  Not so much with Asian horror, as those bad dudes follow you around like they attached a GPS to your behind.  No matter where you go once you've come into contact with something that wants to kill you it's too late.   Kind of like shaking hands with a Juggalo.

     Stranger Factory will be unleashing these adorable yet somewhat deadly vampire figures from Otto Bjornik on Friday, May 20th in this exclusive colorway.  He comes with a removable magnetic talisman that helps calm his thirst for blood, is limited to only 35 pieces, and there's a special 1 in 7 gold chase figure as seen below.  Snatch one up when they go on sale through http://www.circusposterus.com.

   

Buck Weathers 8 Inch Dunny from Amanda Visell x Kidrobot

     Do you know how you get your farmers name?  You take the name of the street you grew up on and your dog's name.  Or something like that.  I ain't saying I know much about farming, but I have some bushes outside that are making me look like I do.  Seriously, they are banging and most likely making the neighbors jealous cause now all the birds and squirrels and chipmunks are hanging out at my place making it look like a Disney movie.

    This here is Buck Weathers, and he is simple country folk who doesn't appreciate your Dueling Banjos or Deliverance jokes.  What he does appreciate is chewing on his bit of straw and firing warning shots at anyone who tries to tip his cows over.  Seriously, why would you freaks want to push a cow down?  If you were really tough you would go bear tipping.

     You can get your hard working hands on this country bumpkin from Amanda Visell and Kidrobot on Friday, May 20th.  Oh, and it appears there are two different versions which my superior internet sleuthing has uncovered.

Celebrate the 2nd Anniversary of Bedtime Bunnies with Peter Kato at Woot Bear

   Oh snap, just when you thought Peter Kato's Bedtime Bunnies couldn't be any cuter, now they've gone and gotten slippers made to look like the Woot Bear logo.  There's actually a good reason for it too, as Peter and his little resin friends will be celebrating their 2nd anniversary of existence at the store on Saturday, May 14th.  From 6-9pm you can go and meet Peter (who is like the nicest dude in the universe) pick up one of these exclusive bunnies, and even score some bonus accessories for them    like one of these cat cups or ducks:

I would drink my juice out of these for the rest of my life.

    Each accessory is random and you get one free with each bunny.  The good thing too is that if you're not lucky enough to live in San Francisco you have nothing to worry about because these Bedtime Bunnies will be available online as well through www.wootbear.com.

The First Ever 5 Inch Dunny from Sekure D x Kidrobot

    The world is full of firsts, not all of which are awesome.  Sure you're first kiss or your first car are great memories, but then they get counteracted with things like your first arrest, or your first extra nipple.  But wouldn't you kill to go back in time and get the first ever set of Dunnys that were released?  That's a pretty cool first, and you can sort of kind of relive that moment on Friday, May 13th when the first ever 5 inch Dunny from Kidrobot is released!  This inaugural edition was designed by sneaker and toy customizer Sekure D and will be available in two different colorways.  Don't come back to me ten years from now when your 5 inch Dunny collection is only missing this one and it's impossible to find for less than the price of a Volkswagon, cause I don't want to hear it.  I'm trying to get you in on the ground floor cause regrets are for other people.

Support the Cronus Magnus Funding Campaign from Full Blown Ink

   

    Were you aware that Indiegogo is not a hipster strip club?  This completely changes my weekend plans.  While I sulk about having to reconfigure what was to be two days worth of stories I could share with the world, you should head over to this link and support this freakish beast robot from Full Blown Ink.  Meant to be an arch nemesis to his previously produced Vulkira figure, this dude looks ready to tank the real estate market in a city near you.  

    This mean lookin mother needs your help to become a real toy though. Check out the campaign here to fund this dude.  There's lots of exclusive rewards and you'll get to go to sleep every night with the satisfaction that all of this happened because of you.  Well, not just you, but its ok sometimes to let your ego run wild.  

Jelly The Robot Plush Kickstarter from The Jelly Empire

    My grandma used to have a single grape vine in her backyard and every year she would make the best jelly you would ever taste in your life.  She'd prepare a case worth of these little mason jars filled with purple goodness to last us the rest of the year.  Even with her culinary skills she never built an empire on the backs of those grapes; she was at best running a jelly fringe group.

    The Jelly Empire, from what I can tell, has nothing to do with peanut butter's best friend and everything to do with cute robot creations.  Now she's taking them from small resin figures into the world of giant plush.  She's half way to raising the money she needs to start production and with the magic of Kickstarter you can help her get the rest. Check out this link and get in on all the exclusive rewards that will coincide with your pledge level.  Admit it, you need more soft and cuddly things in your life.   

Embrace the Cute with Horrible Adorables X Kidrobot

    Sharon and I recently started feeding the birds in the front yard and word has spread quickly through our corner of the animal kingdom.  All types of different ones have shown up to taste our cuisine, and someone told the squirrels too, who swing around on our feeder like it was an extreme sport.  We buy the seed without any shells because if you don't the birds will leave behind the inedible portions and they will rot and stink.  That stuff ain't cheap but those squirrels throw half of it on the ground with their acrobatics.  I was getting kind of pissed until I noticed that the little chipmunk that lives under our porch was going out there and stuffing his cheeks full of the seeds that fell on the ground.  He's a little rodent vacuum cleaner and obviously understand how hard we work to provide those premium noms.

    Critters are the best thing in the world and you should surround yourself with them at all times.  Sometimes it's not always practical to bring the wilderness into your home, which makes these vinyl toys from Horrible Adorables and Kidrobot the perfect alternative.  They have been amazingly interpreted from felt into plastic by Bigshot Toyworks and they will never require emergency trips to the pet store when they run low on food.  Or pricey trips to the vet when they decide that shirt sleeves look appetizing and they'll just go ahead and eat one to test that theory and then realize that while tasty they don't actually digest so they're gonna need xrays and a tube of grease to get that wad of fabric moving and now you have to keep your clothes locked away in a room where they can't get to them when you're not looking for fear that they're not the best at learning valuable lessons the first time around and put you further into crippling debt.  Not that I've experienced that one, Icarus!

    The first two of the series will be available May 6th on www.kidrobot.com or wherever you buy your designer toys.

Lust For Life Aurora Fumetsu from Cop A Squat Toys

    I think it has rained in New Jersey for two straight weeks and it has depressed me to no end.  Everything outside is wet and bathed in a dark hue like I've had sunglass lenses surgically implanted in my eyeballs.  All I want to do is listen to The Cure (I hate The Cure) and read Anne Rice books.  My wife is gonna be pissed that I used up her eyeliner.

   Bright colors where have you been?  While absent from the outdoors they are plentiful in these Fumetsu figures from Cop A Squat Toys.  This is what I expect it to look like in spring when I'm sipping my Hawaiian Punch in my underwear and watching the birds outside.

    There are only 5 of each style of these dudes available when they go on sale May 6th at 3pm eastern time.  Each will be sold individually only form http://www.copasquattoys.com.

The Debut of The Night King from Brandt Peters X Cardboard Spaceship

    I have a confession to make:  I've never been in the attic of my house.  Sharon and I have owned this thing for nearly six years and my eyes have never gazed upon the pink insulation; my lungs have never breathed in the unnaturally humid air.  I have no idea what is up there, and I tried looking once, but the access point is just a hole with a board over it sans ladder.  We have high top kitchen chairs that I used to stand on but they weren't tall enough to grant me even a peek.  I have grand notions of there being something profound up there, but it's probably filled with nothing but weird animal droppings and maybe a human skull or two.

   Now I have lived in a house before that had bats living in the attic but I only found that out when they came out and hung from the curtains in our kitchen.  I like bats though, and I love this new Night King figure from Brandt Peters X Cardboard Spaceship.  This dude is debuting on Friday, May 6th in two different colorways, Candy Corn and Half Dead and every one purchased through www.strangerfactory.com comes signed by Brandt.  Oh, and this figure is eight inches tall and sells for only $58.  That's a deal, son!!!!

Awesome Toy Exclusive Cinema Monster from Splurrt

    Not too long ago my wife and I were doing some Sunday antiquing at a particularly fruitful spot when we stumbled upon the mother of all Ray Harryhausen collections.  Dude had acquired it after the original owner passed away and there was almost nothing this guy didn't have.  Out of everything I really wanted an original signed Clash of the Titans poster.  It was a thing of beauty but I couldn't bring myself to pay what was being asked.  Now that I'm telling this story I realize it's kind of boring.  Oh well.

    Splurrt is unleashing his latest Cinema Monster through the folks at Awesome Toy.  Here's how you get one, per their Instagram page:

Email entry only
Price is USD175Each+Shipping.  

If you are interested please email the following info to 

sales.awesometoy@gmail.com



1. Email Title: CINEMA MONSTER


2. Your Full Name


3. Your Shipping Address / Phone Number


4. Your Paypal Address


5. Your instagram or facebook account (optional)



We will select winners in next few days. Only winner will receive our reply.

This is a custom hand painted art toy so each piece is different, the one you have will not exactly like the product sample. Shipping scheduled in next 2-3 weeks.