We are all lucky enough to live in a time when if you're not happy with anything about yourself you can just go ahead and change it. Through the miracles of modern medicine and sometimes just through sheer willpower/not telling the truth, we can transcend just about anything we see as an obstacle.
Who knew that deep down Mr. T had always identified as being a Ninja Turtle? There's got to be a Diane Sawyer special any day now so we can hear his side of the story. But until then we'll have to speculate that as a child he had an almost unnatural attraction to opening manhole covers, speaking like a surfer from Venice Beach, and craving only pizza for every meal. The other kids thought he was nuts when he carried a little rat friend around, telling them all that he was his martial arts teacher. But now Mr. T can live out his life the way he was always meant to, and to commemorate this occasion you can own one of these figures by Dead Greedy. They will be available at DKE's booth at San Diego Comic Con for $55 each and are limited to just 25 pieces.