Since I began this site I have felt the pressure of competition from my rivals online. In an effort to the wittiest and arguably best looking writer about toys I succumbed to the temptation of steroids. Yeah, I was juicin like a mofo. I know it was wrong, but there are so many people fighting for your attention on the internet that I felt like I needed a competitive edge. I now know I was wrong to turn to performance enhancing drugs, mainly because they are expensive and I could have used that money to buy more toys. It was really a stupid investment and stupid investments are wrong. Plus, they have health risks or something according to this chart I found:
Who has time to read all that? Plus, the pictures look unpleasant. Anyway, I planned to confess to all of this on Oprah right after that bike riding idiot, but for some reason my multiple phone calls only ended in a restraining order rather than an invitation for an interview. TV people are weird. Shed tears for me Oprah, I'm in pain too ya know!