Friday, January 18, 2013

I Have a Confession to Make

    Since I began this site I have felt the pressure of competition from my rivals online.  In an effort to the wittiest and arguably best looking writer about toys I succumbed to the temptation of steroids.  Yeah, I was juicin like a mofo.  I know it was wrong, but there are so many people fighting for your attention on the internet that I felt like I needed a competitive edge.  I now know I was wrong to turn to performance enhancing drugs, mainly because they are expensive and I could have used that money to buy more toys.  It was really a stupid investment and stupid investments are wrong.  Plus, they have health risks or something according to this chart I found:

    Who has time to read all that?  Plus, the pictures look unpleasant.  Anyway, I planned to confess to all of this on Oprah right after that bike riding idiot, but for some reason my multiple phone calls only ended in a restraining order rather than an invitation for an interview.  TV people are weird.  Shed tears for me Oprah, I'm in pain too ya know!

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