We have this touristy village-like place near where I live where people used to feed all of the geese that hung out there. The place was overrun with these giant, lazy birds looking for a handout. Think of Times Square in the 80's but without as many hookers. Well God forbid if you didn't have anything to feed these geese because they would follow you everywhere you went and bite the crap out of you to get your attention. And you couldn't walk any faster to get away from them, because they laid these human size turds everywhere that you really didn't want to track into your car, so you're dodging poop landmines while these real life angry birds are trying to give you avian flu cause you weren't nice enough to stuff a couple slices of bread in your pockets before you left the house. Thankfully, they finally banned people from feeding them and the little low lifes moved on to ply their criminal trade elsewhere.
The moral of this story is that bird bites hurt, but thankfully they don't actually have sharp fangs like this Quackula figure from Healeymade. This blood-thirsty water fowl stands 7 inches tall and is made from glorious Japanese soft vinyl. You can get one tonight when they go on sale at 8pm Eastern time at http://shop.healeymade.com/.