All City Style Custom Show at PIQ in Grand Central Terminal This Weekend

    New York can be an intimidating place, especially when it comes to the subway.  Not only is it confusing to figure out where you're going, but some of the stations look like they are preparing to film the next installment of the Saw franchise.  My best subway story, which I may or may not have told here before, started off innocently enough.  Sharon and I are standing on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive, and all of a sudden some lady pushes past us in disgust, continuously looking behind her, and mumbling "oh my God" over and over.  We turned to see what had got her in such a panic and no more than ten feet away from us was a grown man dropping the deuce.  Now when you think about pooping, which who doesn't, you picture someone squatting down.  Not this guy.  He was standing straight, sweat pants around his ankles, and growing a brown tail like it was as normal as checking your text messages.  Now try as I might to look away, I just couldn't.  It had nothing to do with the horror of what was happening as much as it had to do with making sure he came nowhere near us.  A man that will poop out in the open on a subway platform is a man that :

1.) is full of germs

2.) is probably a tad unstable and might decide that a stabbing is next on his to do list

    He finished his business, pulled up his pants, and got on the train like nothing was out of the ordinary.  We walked three cars up from where he got on (the recommended distance you should always have between yourself and someone who's committed such an act) and went about the rest of our day unable to speak of anything else.  

     My point behind this story is to say that the subway could use some sprucing up, and I don't mean with the random spattering of Scientologists and American Idol hopefuls it has now.  Bigshot Toyworks remembers a time when you could at least see colorful, albeit illegal, artwork adorning the sides of every train.  So much so that they created the All City Style subway train car so artists now can relive those days when Times Square was more Mad Max than Disneyland, and riding the subway meant getting an art show to go along with your mugging.

    A tone of artists have customized these cars to put on display this weekend at PIQ in Grand Central Terminal.  The show opens November 22nd and will feature tons of artists you know and love.  A listing of participants can be found in the picture waaaaaaaaay up at the top there.  

Sons of Anarchy Mystery Box from Mezco

     Good lord did you watch Sons of Anarchy last night?  Talk about emotional.  I won't spoil it for you in case you have it stowed away on your DVR because you were somehow unable to make time for it when it originally aired (what were you doing that was more important?).  And it's killing me a little on the inside because no one I work with watches it (they're bad people) and I wanna talk about it soooooooo badly.  Especially the brilliant scene when Jax and Nero are talking on the phone.  Uggh just call out sick and go watch it.

     If you watch Sons of Anarchy I'm guessing you're a person that spits danger in the eye.  You don't just live on the edge, you dangle from it with one hand while taking a selfie with the other.  You need a surprise at every turn, and that's why the S.O.A. Mystery Box from Mezco is for you.  It's kinda like gambling, but without the shame of signing over your Ford Focus when the Eagles fail to cover the spread against the Packers.  I'll miss that car.

     For $20 you get two official Sons of Anarchy products.  What will you get?  I don't have the slightest idea, but that's what makes it exciting.  Seven lucky people that order one of these will get an upgrade to a box featuring everything you see pictured above.  That's one for each season the show has been on the air, in case you're ever on Jeopardy.  Order yours from http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.  

Own the Final Battle Rat Colorway from Mike Sutfin

    I always get a kick out of spotting a rat whenever Sharon and I are in New York.  Not only are they the most famous rats in the world, but it always surprises me to see wildlife in the city other than pigeons.  The ones you see are still kinda cute, even though they're covered in muck and would probably steal a hamburger from your kid's mouth while leaving behind a healthy dose of plague.  But you always wonder whats lurking around in the abandoned subway tunnels and sewers that people don't get to see.  Rats that have evolved beyond anything we would ever want to imagine.  Maybe they look something like this.

    Mike Sutfin's Battle Rat is one bad rodent.  At least he gives off that air of badness by dragging that skull around.  It's pretty much the best method for conveying that you are not to be messed with.  You might want to leave it out of your profile pic on your dating website though.  It's best to wait until the third date to bring up your love for carting around the decapitated heads of your enemies.  

     This dude is the final colorway ever of this figure and is up for preorder right now at http://sutfin.bigcartel.com/.  He features some pretty intense paint techniques and you can interchange the heads to suit your moods.  And he's much safer than trying to tame one of those critters you find rifling through the trash in Manhattan.  You only make that mistake once.  

    

Super7 x Secret Base Soft Vinyl Alien Pre-Order

    These vinyl Alien figures have been nearly impossible to get and have left a lot of people with no alternative other than to bang their heads into a wall until the part of their brain that wanted one to begin with is bruised into forgetting.  Trust me, it's far less painful than seeing everyone you follow on Instagram post pictures of all the fun things they're doing with their Aliens, while you sit at home nurturing that growing void in your heart.  Stop your bellyaching cause Super7 and Secret Base are making everything ok with this open edition figure.  What that means for you is that you have from tomorrow until November 30th to preorder this glow in the dark bro.  They will be made to order so everyone who wants one will get one.  No more paying ridiculous eBay prices or having to patch forehead size holes in your living room.  

http://super7store.com/

"New Maps of the Abyss " featuring Arik Roper x Skinner at The Cotton Candy Machine

    Art doesn't have to suck.  Art is not all about some weirdo glueing a screwdriver to a urinal, or those crappy prints that you're forced to stare at in your doctor's waiting room.  It should make you feel something, whether you just like how something looks, or whether it makes you want to charge into battle, double fisting a couple broad swords, while "Reign in Blood" is blasted from the heavens.  If the latter speaks to your Lord of the Rings-loving soul, then do I have the place for you to be tomorrow night.

    The Cotton Candy Machine in Brooklyn is presenting "New Maps of the Abyss" featuring the work of Arik Roper and Skinner.  This is gonna take you back to the time when you were hiding in the basement in your Iron Maiden t-shirt, playing Dungeons and Dragons with your friends.  These are your most vivid fantasies, your darkest fears, brought to life and ready to hang on your wall.

    The event starts at 7pm and both artists will be in attendance.  

Shagghoulies from We Become Monsters

    I've said it before and I'll say it again:  Not enough people wear fuzzy suits.  I'm not talking about those furry people who like to dress as animals and touch each others butts and stuff.  They make me reaaaaaallllllly uncomfortable.  I used to work in the mall and this family would come in and they all went to those furry conventions and wanted to talk to me about it which made my skin crawl.  They also looked like they might of had a "Hills Have Eyes" living situation going on, but that's something else entirely.  Have you ever noticed that attractive people aren't into stuff like that?  You never see anyone roaming around Wal Mart with cat ears on their head that you'd like to picture naked.  

    What I want people to start wearing are business suits that look like they were created from the remains of a dead Muppet.  How much more fun would it be to get fired by a guy (or girl, I'm all for women in power and whatnot) firing you while looking like Oscar the Grouch?  You couldn't even be that mad.  

    I'm digging We Become Monster's latest creations, the Shagghoulies!  If they're isn't already there should be a horror-themed rock band with that name.  I don't know if these guys have any musical talent, but they look like fun.  Only 8 of these dudes were ever created and they will be unleashed upon an unsuspecting world this Friday, November 14th, at noon Pacific time for $75.  They stand over a foot tall too, so that's a lot of fuzzy toy for your money.  Get yours at http://webecomemonsters.storenvy.com/.

"UnAmerican Activity" Custom Toy Show at Toy Art Gallery

    It's rare that I would ever open an email with a subject that involved the word "unAmerican" cause I am not trying to get on some government list or have the feds parked outside my house trying to see what I'm up to.  Not that I'm up to anything, but it just seems like a hassle.  I'd have to step up my style game if people are gonna be outside taking pictures all the time to go in my permanent file.  This is how their briefing on my case will play out:

 Boss:  "So, have you determined what the deal with this guy is?"

Cop:  "Sir, all we've been able to ascertain is that the house is filled with cats, and the subject looks FABULOUS!" (throws glitter in the air, much to the chagrin of his fellow officers)

    And that is how I will waste the taxpayer's money.  End scene.

      I opened that email anyway and instead of finding something that would send me to Guantanimo, I found out about a killer toy show this weekend.  It's called "UnAmerican Activity" because the artists involved aren't from America.  Oooooooooooooh, that makes much more sense than what I was worried about.  The show opens this Friday, November 14th, at Toy Art Gallery and features the work of Jon-Paul Kaiser, Doktor A, and Seymour Art.  Check out this little preview of what you can see live and in person:

"Center for the Performing Arts" Building Set from Citizen Brick

    Law school is expensive, and what's a girl to do when she wants to be a district attorney and the student loans just aren't covering it?  Citizen Brick is known for making the building block sets that a certain company would never even dream of creating.  Now you can make it rain on little plastic strippers without ever leaving the privacy of your own home!  Usually that costs a lot of money and you have to burn the pants you wear after you sober up and/or see the performer of your lap dance in natural lighting.  There's a reason these places are dark.  

    Impress your friends and forgo the feeling of needing a hazmat shower with your very own Center for the Performing Arts.  This thing is beyond amazing:  it comes with four exclusive figures, working led lights with batteries, and is made using the same techniques that the big guys use, so this thing is completely legit.  For $275 think of the endless fun you will have without having to worry about the strength of your immune system.  Seriously, have you ever been in a strip club that didn't resemble a third world country? Order yours now and it will ship out Black Friday.  

http://citizenbrick.com/

    

You're Gonna Need This. It's Shark Norris from Goodleg Toys

    Chuck Norris is already the most feared man on the planet, so what insane person would combine him with the most feared creature in the ocean thus creating mankind's doom?  Goodleg Toys of course!  They have totally disregarded the fact that Shark Norris is the most unstoppable killing machine ever dreamed of.  No tank can stop him from laying waste to his enemies, and he's gonna run out of those pretty quickly and therefore need new enemies, which is where the whole "humankind is screwed" thing comes from.  

    The carnage begins this Sunday, November 9th, when you can order your very own over at http://goodlegtoys.tumblr.com/.  

    

Marbled Shub Zeroth Release for Brian Ewing's "Scream With Me" Show

    Nothing as exciting as this has happened to the city of Chicago since the opening of the 1892 Columbian Exposition.  I wasn't there, but I heard everyone who wasn't turned into a medical school prop by H. H. Holmes had a wonderful time.  Tonight you can witness an event of comparable proportions (to the fair, not the murders) when Brian Ewing opens his solo show at Galerie F.  

    Those in attendance will have the chance to purchase the first ever marbled release of Shub Zeroth.  He is the perfect blend of dark gray and flesh colored vinyl, formed into a beast whose name shall never be spoken thrice, lest the underworld rise up through a tear in the temporal vortex of our minds, forever poisoning our very souls.  

Oooooooh, pretty.

Check out http://www.galerief.com/ for more info on the show.

New Trailer for The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    I really shouldn't be allowed to watch stuff like because I am so pumped up right now that I could sword fight all of my neighbors.  I wish I lived in Middle Earth.  But instead of killing Orcs and conquering lands I have to go and take out the trash and pay the car insurance bill.  Real life is quite dumb.  

Exclusive Releases from Suburban Vinyl at Designer Con

    Wait a second, are you telling me the guys from Suburban Vinyl are actually allowed to leave the state?  California is in for it as the Robs will be making the journey to set up at this weekend's Designer Con.  But they won't be showing up empty handed, as they will be bringing with them many quality wares for to peruse at booth # 515.  Let's get to it.  

    This Brent Nolasco figure looks like a pretty chill bro.  I'm sure he scares visitors to his swamp when they see him coming towards them, but all he really wants is someone to talk with about the new episode of American Horror Story.  He thinks they should drop the musical numbers and reign their wacky story telling in just a tad to make a more concise experience for the viewers.  He's got a lot of opinions about shows.  Only 3 of these in this color scheme exist in the world and you can be one of the proud owners for $120.  

    Look, I get it, you think that if you hang Starry Night on your living room wall that naked chicks are just gonna fall out of the wood work for how artistic and sensitive you are.  It's a load of crap, in fact women should beware of any man who tries to use this ploy, cause it means they don't like art enough to explore it beyond a picture that is offered by Capital One as an option for their first credit card.  And if it's hanging next to a Bob Marley poster or one of "beers of the world" you need to get out of that house immediately before you needs years of counseling to undo whats about to go down.  The Toy Viking is nothing if not a resource for keeping women safe.  

    Now if you're at someone's house and they have a picture like this one from Jon-Paul Kaiser, then you've got the green light to have all of their babies.  For $70 you can up your art game with one of these prints that are signed and numbered to 50.  

    If the power happens to go out in Pasadena don't worry, because they will have enough glow in the dark toys at booth 515 to light the bathroom up so you don't pee on yourself.  Like these Bio Buds from Manny Romero or these Primordial Ooze Munny heads from artisdead with little ninja turtles trapped inside.  They will be priced at $40 and $21 respectively. 

    Or get yourself a mini Ice Scream Man from Brutherford Industries to light your way during those dark moments.  Get one for $20, but please don't lick it cause people will stare.  

Flat Bonnie Exclusives for Designer Con

     The only time I want to see critters look like they've been squashed by an eighteen wheeler is when they are created by Flat Bonnie.  Seriously, on my way to work it's like the contents of a zoo are strewn about on the road.  Stop driving like morons and look out for our fuzzy friends.  If you must hit something with your car aim for another human being, because there are way more of them and not enough raccoons in the world.  This has been a public service announcement by People for the Unethical Treatment of Other People and Stuff or P.U.T.O.P.S for short.  

   Look at these.  LOOK AT THESE!!!!!!!!!  They're friggin adorable.  I would call out sick every day and snuggle with them while watching Golden Girls reruns and getting fat off of Cheez-Itz.  That's a real American dream.  

    Flat Bonnie is gonna have booth of these critters at Designer Con this weekend at booth number 316.  The Jackalope is a special Frozen edition and limited to only 10 pieces, while Sparg the Babdy Dragon (pictured below) is limited to 20 pieces.  Each on is $50, exclusive to this show, and even comes with an adoption certificate in case you get investigated by the authorities and need to document your plush children for some reason.  You can never be too careful.   

Exclusive Releases from Plaseebo at Designer Con

    People that live in California have way too much to do.  This past weekend not only did you have Stan Lee's Comikaze, but you had a convention for Hello Kitty.  My wife would have lost her mind to go to Hello Kitty Con.  Between the two of them we would have ended up homeless, but with piles of cool new stuff.  And this weekend you have Designer Con, which is the equivalent of a crack convention for junkies.  It costs next to nothing to get in and it's row upon row of fiscal irresponsibleness/stuff to make your shelves look top notch.  Screw bringing your credit cards; bring a loan officer from your bank.  

    Plaseebo will be setting up his wares here for the first time ever at the Gorgoloid booth # 933.  Check out the picture above for the awesome stuff that will haunt your dreams for years to come.  

Cthulhu Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    I've decided my favorite genre of monster is anything that is lying dormant on the ocean floor, waiting to enslave mankind.  The joke's on Cthulhu though, because we've already been enslaved by our cell phones.  Yesterday, Sharon and I decided to begin celebrating our anniversary by eating lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, followed by a visit to the Body Worlds Animal exhibit.  Before we continue, I would like to offer my critique on the Cheesecake Factory.  First off, why are the employees dressed like an orderly in a mental hospital?  The all white kinda made me nervous, as if someone was going to come to the table and give me a little something to help me sleep.  Then I'd wake up in a straight jacket waiting for my turn on the electro shock machine.  It's creepy.  Secondly, what in the world is going on with the decor?  "Tuscan villa on acid" is not a good design choice.  The food is pretty good though, so I can't be too hard on them.

    While we were eating at the Cheesecake Factory I noticed a young couple, probably in their 20's, at an adjoining table.  The only time they put their phones down was when it was time to eat.  No conversation whatsoever that didn't involve talking about how they liked their food.  Then as soon as they were done they were back on the phones, completely ignoring one another in favor of seeing what everyone else was up to on Facebook.  Is this really what life has come to?  If so, whenever Cthulhu makes his way to land he's gonna be sadly disappointed with the state of things.  At best he'll trend on Twitter for a day or so, probably get a ton of uploads to Instagram, and then he'll be forgotten.

Cthulhu:  "I am here to enslave mankind."

Mankind:  "That's a pretty boring status update, so, like, I'm just gonna play Candy Crush until my retinas melt."

Cthulhu:  "But, you don't understand.  I have risen from the depths to rule once more over this world."

Mankind:  #annoyingseamonster

    But as a consolation prize, the Old One will be forever immortalized in Pop! Vinyl form by Funko this January.  

Krampus on a Shelf from Forces of Dorkness x Tenacious Toys

    If you want your kids to behave themselves in the time leading up to Christmas, why would you put some little sissy on your mantle that's gonna supposedly go off and rat em out for the bad stuff they do? Kids know that snitches get stitches and they're not gonna take some dainty little elf seriously.  What you need is some crazy looking demon guy that will stuff them into a bag and beat the tar out of them with a stick.  Now that's something that will make even the littlest psychopath think twice before giving into those bad voices in his head.

    Krampus is the greatest thing to happen to Christmas since presents, and it warms my heart to see people in America start to embrace Santa's enforcer.  Now if only we could start working him into our holiday traditions.  Kids need a healthy dose of fear.  They need a freaky goat man to smack them around as they stare mindlessly into their cell phones instead of taking out the trash.

    Ok, this has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but I couldn't stop laughing at this video when I saw it.  It is Christmas themed though:


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm dying, I'm dying.

     Krampus on the Shelf was created by Forces of Dorkness to watch over your little nut jobs as they go about their heathen ways.  They are going up for preorder this Sunday, November 2nd, at 7pm as part of Super Series Sunday from Tenacious Toys.  You'll have two weeks to place your order for one of these dudes, who stand 8 inches tall and retail for only $50.  It's cheaper than putting those little monsters in obedience school (do they have that for kids?).  Get yours at http://www.tenacioustoys.com/

Brutherford Industries Has A Pile of Releases for Halloween

    It's been a while since we heard from Brutherford Industries.  What's he been up to?  Was he abducted by aliens, or raising alpacas for their wool?  Did he open a Chik-Fil-A, or maybe he just took a long nap. Who knows, cause tomorrow (which happens to be Halloween) he's got a veritable horde of releases.  Let's get started cause it's almost my lunch time.  

    Look at that sweet can of paint, caught right in the moment before the cops come and arrest you for vandalism.  Don't worry, you'll probably just pay a fine.  But how cool is this?  The answer is "very cool" especially cause it's limited to only 25 pieces and it can be displayed like you see it or you can hang it on the wall and make it look like a ghost is helping you redecorate.  $125 and it's yours.  

    Oh snap son, you know you need these.  I see you out there, trying to live your life like you're in a rap video.  You can't do that when your Ikea entertainment center is filled with nothing but video game manuals though.  You gotta add some shine to it.  One of these Ice Scream men would do the trick.  And you have two different sizes to choose from, but logic dictates you should get them both for maximum wow factor.  The big one is limited to 25 pieces and the small has 50 little brothers and sisters running around.  They are $85 and $15 respectively.  

    Our maybe you're more like me and your house is closer to a Marilyn Manson video than it is Jay-Z. Then do I have something for you.  Check out this little domed specimen.  The display alone is worth the $45, but you also get a sweet gold skull.  Limited to 50 pieces.  

    If you've got some painting ability you might wanna get something to stir those creative juices.  Here are two pieces just waiting for your customizing skills.  Get a blank Ice Scream man for $35 or a blank skull for $15.  

    Ok, we finally reached the end, which is good cause I'm developing callouses on my typing fingers.  Hungry Hungry Hordak wants nothing more than to come live with you and flash his man bits every time you look at him.  He's kind of a weirdo like that.  For $15 you can be eternally shocked by his vulgarness.  

    Everything goes on sale tomorrow at noon eastern time from http://www.brutherford.com/.

Shallow Grave Mummy Skelevex to be Unearthed on Halloween

    It looks like someone had a productive day in the yard.  How long do you think it will be before every square inch of populated land on Earth will have a dead body under it?  I feel that this is one of those things that could be solved by an equation of some sort that is well beyond anything I'm willing to risk bruising my brain to figure out.  But I would assume with the way people are breeding there's got to be some point in time where its gonna happen.  It will be so commonplace that they'll probably have to issue everyone a new type of recycling bin just to throw old bones in whenever they find them.  Unearthed human remains pick up will be every other Wednesday or they will make special trips if you call in advance cause your bin is overflowing after digging for your new pool.  

    We're a long ways away from all of our backyards being as rich with marrow as the Paris catacombs, but people do make unexpected finds every once in a while when planting a new rose bush.  And these Skelevex look like they are ready to give some unsuspecting gardener the scare of their lives.  Only six of these "Shallow Grave Mummy" versions exist and you can snag one on Halloween (that's this Friday!!!) at 11:59 GMT at this link.

Phantom Edition of Jermaine Roger's Choices Available on Halloween

    That evil looking bunny is back and this time he's wearing his invisibility cloak.  Is there really any doubt now to his intentions?  That bunny is gonna cut you some new ventilation holes if you're not careful.  His wee beady eyes betray his attempts at stealthiness, so if you see two floating red orbs in your bed tonight, you better hope his depth perception sucks.  Or you just need to stop drinking so much.

    Jermaine Rogers has made 100 of these crystal clear killing machines and they will be released, appropriately enough, this Friday October 31st.  They will only be available at www.JermaineRogers.com for $75 each and 10 random figures will come with a special ticket that entitles you to an exclusive art print.  Screw buying bulk candy to give out to the neighborhood heathens and instead get yourself something nice to celebrate Halloween.

   
   

Designer Con Exclusive Bounty Wrestlers from Healeymade x DKE

    Did you watch Hell in a Cell last night?  How crappy was that ending to the Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose match?  You've got two guys putting on one of the best matches of the year and then you end it with the lights going out and Bray Wyatt interfering.  I like the possibilities of Ambrose vs Wyatt, but the way that ended was just a disservice to everyone involved and the people watching it.  I'm still mad.  

    But I love my wrasslin, and I love Star Wars, so thank God someone finally got wise and put em together.  Healeymade cast up 6 sets of these Bounty Wrestlers as exclusives for DKE at Designer Con.  They come all framed up looking fancy and ready to elevate your collection's wow factor.  You can impress your momma with these.  

Behold the Lavender Pollen Kaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    Did anyone start their Christmas shopping yet?  I'm sort of on the ball this year and have already begun chipping away at it.  I'm never the type to wait until the last minute, but each year I seem to get dangerously close to panic mode.  Sometimes I even have dreams where it's Christmas morning and I haven't bought anyone anything and I do my best to fake a reason to be rushed to the emergency room just to buy me some time to figure out what to do.  They at least have a gift shop in the hospital, so I might be able to pass off a "get well" teddy bear or a bunch of phone cards as legit gifts.  It's kinda horrifying.

    You can begin your shopping for me today when Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery release their latest edition of the mighty Pollen Kaiser.  See how easy I make this for you.  So park yourself near a computer at noon Pacific time, have it pointed at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/ and let the raining of presents upon me commence.  Of you can buy it for someone else I guess and I'll just resent you.  Kidding, I'm kidding, I will always love you.  But there's always room to move up on the love list, now isn't there?  

    

Halloween Pickle Baby from Leecifer Drops Today!

    I wonder if anyone has ever put one of Leecifer's Pickle Babies in a jar, filled it with some cloudy water, and called it a PICKLED Baby.  It would be the easiest custom in the world and if it hasn't been done yet I urge someone out there to do it.  And make an aged label identifying it to paste on the front too.  I don't want you to take my idea and just phone it in, cause that's just disrespectful.  Make it museum quality.  The challenge is out there.  

    Look at how festive these dudes are!  I bet they've already been to Starbucks twice and gotten something pumpkin flavored.  I think marbled toys are some of my favorites out there right now, and I'm loving how this orange and black has swirled together to make each one of these unique.  If you want one to spice up your Halloween decor (or Thanksgiving, this guy would look perfect next to a turkey-shaped butter sculpture) then pick one up from http://houseofleecifer.bigcartel.com/ today.  

Ron English Needs You To Help Him Make His Next Toy

    You know what I always say "you can never have too many skulls."  Seriously, go ahead and get yourself a nice skull and tell me you don't instantly want another.  It's like eating one potato chip, you can't do it.  Of course I'm only talking about the plastic versions, not the ones that developed inside your face meat.  I have a lot of weird stuff in the house, but I don't think I could ever own an actual human skull.  I love to go to look at them in museums, but I'm worried about bringing bad juju into my life if I had one just chillin on our dvd player.  I'm not even sure how to go about acquiring one.  Duh, I could go on the internet, but how would I know which one was right for me?  Do they come with biographical information about the person?  Do they tell you how they came to own it in the first place?  Will some family member want joint custody and insist on taking it out for ice cream every other weekend?  I'm just not ready for that sort of responsibility.

   I'm gonna stick with faux human skulls I think, like this one from Ron English.  Like many people, this skull has fame and fortune in it's eyes, so much so that it warped the actual bone structure.  This isn't some crappy prop you can buy at the Halloween store, this is a beautiful work of vinyl art that will impress your guests and brighten your decor.  But you can't have one of these beauties if you don't back the Kickstarter campaign that's happening now.  You can get everything from a pack of stickers, to one of these skulls in the colors you see above, to having lunch with the man himself.  Something tells me he won't be taking you to McDonald's.  So follow this link, and help him make this skull a reality.  

Woot Bear Grand Opening this Saturday!!!

    You know what I'm gonna be doing this Saturday?  Working.  Twice actually.  Gotta go to the day job, then gonna go make some extra scratch lugging around concert equipment at a casino.  Begin crying your tears of sorrow for me any time now.  

    Just kidding cause I like working.  Gives me a sense of pride that I can go out and support my family.  But I also like toys, and hobnobbing with artists and collectors, which makes me sad that I'm gonna totally miss the opening of Frank Kozik's Woot Bear gallery and toy store.  Also, it's kind of a far drive from New Jersey to California, so that plays a small part into why I can't go.  But the good news for you is that I'm one less person you'll have to compete with for all the stuff you want.  Like those massive Heathrows you see there, or any of the three other special releases that will be happening this Saturday as part of their Grand Opening.  Don't worry, I'll only be slightly jealous.  

    Get any other info you need over at http://www.wootbear.com/.

Two New Wananeko Cats from Javier Jimenez

    I remember the day that I almost had a heart attack after I realized we had five cats.  Okay, I'm not stupid, I distinctly remember having five, but they were never in the same room together so the impact of it wasn't that great.  Then they all started getting along (for the most part) and sitting in the living room together at night.  Sharon and I were eating dinner and watching tv (two sports we excel in) when I looked around and noticed they were all there just hanging out.  I dropped my fork, turned to her and said "My God we have five cats."  It was more an emotional revelation rather than a mathematical one. I was now having the reaction that most of my coworkers first had whenever we talked about our little house critters.  But when you think about it, each of us only has two and a half cats, so neither one of us can really be called crazy cat people right?  The half cat thing is kinda crazy, and you shouldn't have half of a cat in real life, only in theory when you're trying to explain how rational it is for your house to resemble the ASPCA, but the rest is pretty sound logic.  Cause you can't just have one cause they'll be lonely, and once you're up to three they start forming alliances, so you have to balance out the power struggle by adding a few more, but you can't have an even number because then when they need to vote on a particular cat issue you don't want to risk a deadlock, so you have to have a tie breaker.  I'm just gonna stop now.

    I have officially reached capacity ("catpacity"  Ok, this word really needs to be part of everyday speech.  For example "Don't tell Tina about your kittens, she has totally reached catpacity in her apartment."  Make it so!) as far as real cats go, but I still have plenty of room for plastic ones.  Like these Wananeko figures from Javier Jimenez.  There are two different versions you can get your grubby little paws on.  The first is a special Halloween edition that will be available this Sunday, October 26th at 11am Eastern time.  

    The second is a preorder for a Calico version that's available right this instant!  They are limited though, so if you want one you gotta make it happen soon.  Get em both over at http://www.lakaijufam.bigcartel.com/.

Taylored Curiosities Presents the Worry Beans

     My digestive system is as battle ravaged as the Middle East.  A big part of it is genetics, but there's got to be a mental factor too cause I worry about everything all the time.  I worry about life, death, money, my wife, my cats, my toys, my job, my car, tv, basically anything you can think of.  I worry whether we'll get tickets to Comic Con next year, whether we'll ever be able to do a lot of traveling, whether all of our kittens are living productive and happy lives.  I'm worrying thinking about all the worrying I do. I think I'm gonna be sick.

    Trying not to wreck my nerves is a full time job in itself, one in which the pay sucks and I wish I could quite and take up oil painting or something.  Taylored Curiosities wants us all to let go a little and let the Worry Beans guide us onto the ever elusive path of serenity.   A path that allows you to keep more of your hair and not be concerned where the restroom is at all times.  Right now in her shop you can get a set of these little dudes in varying colors that are ready to bring peace to that over active mind of yours.  Stop worrying about that growth on your arm and visit http://www.tayloredcuriosities.bigcartel.com/.

Hook The Enforcer Figure from Troma x Goodleg Toys

    World War II would have been a lot less eventful is the Nazis had actually taken up surfing.  They had a lot of hobbies, but none of them really on the "healthy" side.  Have you ever met an angry surfer?  I haven't.  They're all just too busy "shredding the gnar", or whatever it is that they get so excited about.  Honestly, I can't understand a thing they're saying, but my point is they keep themselves busy enough with their silly sayings and their skin cancer that they don't have time to think about trying to take over the world.  Which is why I am proposing a new division of the United States military that will focus on introducing new things for angry groups of folks to occupy themselves with.  I'm calling it the Arts and Crafts Brigade, but that's just a working title, and they will be in charge of setting up hobbies for militant groups that are giving us issues.  We're gonna start in the Middle East, where thousands of Bedazzlers and bags of sequins will be air dropped on enemy bases.  Once our foes start embellishing everything they own in semi-precious stones, they'll be too busy being fabulous to even worry about all that murder and mayhem nonsense.  Maybe we can teach North Korea the benefits and excitement that await them in the world of inline skating.  The possibilities are endless.  You can go ahead and mail me my Nobel Peace Prize.  

    Ok, so surfing really didn't do the trick in keeping calm the hooligans in Troma's Surf Nazis Must Die.  Or did it?  I'm not going to tell you and spoil the film. I'm not that kind of jerk.  I'm the kind of jerk that will tell you about the sweet action figures from Goodleg Toys featuring characters from this classic that I'm sure by now is archived in the Library of Congress.  Hook the Enforcer comes in two versions, the regular which you see above, and the Shark Edition, which you can see here:

    There are 30 of the regular and just 5 of the chase version, so get your hind parts over to http://goodlegtoys.tumblr.com/ and get one before they're gone.