Bad Ass: Mecha Edition from Kronk x Pobber Toys

    I just watched Pacific Rim the other day and I really enjoyed it.  Lots of good action, the CGI was impressive, and I didn't fall asleep even once.  The one thing about it that was really freaky was that the kaiju would take these massive poops and entire cities would be contaminated.  That was the real threat if you ask me.  Sure they may stomp you to death, or spit acid all over your apartment building, but who wants to die from a giant turd?  And how in the hell are you going to clean something up the size of Madison Square Garden when everyone is out building a stupid fence trying to keep these dudes out?  The answer, my friends, is in front of us.

    Not only would giant robot monkeys be pretty awesome at clobbering otherworldly monsters, but they are world class poo throwers.  I've been to the zoo, I've seen it.  So the monkeys could use the kaiju's own waste material against it like some bacteria-ridden snow ball fight.  Ok, the more I've thought about this the more I realize this is a gross and terrible idea.  Forget I said anything.  

    Kronk x Pobber Toys will be unleashing their own mecha monkey this Friday.  And this is one giant piece of plastic.  You might have to reinforce your toy shelf so he doesn't collapse it.  So first make a trip to the Home Depot and get some extra shelf brackets, then log onto www.pobber.com and get yourself one of these.   

A Clockwork Carrot: Supervillain Edition from Frank Kozik x Blackbook Toys

    Why so serious?  I usually take giant bunnies who carry bloody knives and crowbars pretty seriously.  Something just doesn't seem pure about their intentions.  And giant bunnies don't even need weapons soaked in their victim's genetic makeup to be freaky.  Most of those dudes at the mall that want you to sit on their lap for Easter photos are pretty freakish looking.  They are instantly believable as remorseless killers.  Kinda like clowns, or politicians.  But then you dress one up as Batman's arch nemesis and you give him some toys to play with and there is no doubt that this bunny has more than chocolate eggs on his mind.

    Speaking of Batman, have you seen the picture of Ben Affleck all dressed up in his armor?  I'm still holding onto hope that they were just kidding about him being Batman and secretly Christian Bale is still the guy.  But then I think that a Batman/Superman crossover is gonna be dumb anyway, so who cares if Ben Affleck is really the Dark Knight?  No, I still care and it still saddens me.  Moving on.

    Ok, so these things go on sale Friday, May 16th at midnight in Tokyo.  That means if you live in LA, this killer bunny clown from Frank Kozik x Blackbook Toy will be available to you May 15th at 7am, 10am for those of you in New York, and 3pm in the UK.  I know it's kinda confusing, but if you want one you gotta be prepared and I'll help you as much as I can.  Just don't ask me for money, cause I don't want to have to laugh at you.  

Get yours here: http://www.blackbooktoy.com/

  

Resin Bobcat Skulls from DuBose Art x NoveltyHaus

    I am pretty sure the kittens we rescued back in November are some type of wild hybrid cats.  My theory stems from the fact that the male kitten was neutered in April and has actually gotten crazier.  He literally bounces off of the walls as he races around the house and only sleeps for maybe 10 minutes at a time.  The actual day of his surgery we were told that they would both be groggy and just want to rest, but as soon as he gets home it's like Monday Night Raw in our living room.  We either have a zoo creature on our hands or some sort of otherworldly entity has entered our cat's body to realize his plan of world domination.  

"There is no Jorah, there is only Zuul!!!"

    Rather than getting your kittens from the woods you might want to start out with something easier to manage, like a resin bobcat skull from DuBose Art and my favorite store in Baltimore, NoveltyHaus.  What you will miss out on in snuggle time you will gain back in savings on vet trips and poop sand.  And it glows in the dark!!!  Snag one of these impressive specimens this Friday, May 16th, at 5pm Eastern time from http://www.noveltyhaus.com/.  

    You should get some real kitties too in case you don't have any.  Or if you do have some get a few more.  They make life much more interesting.  

WWR Evol Darwin Rothchild from 3A Available Now!!!

    This guy looks as if he's had a bad day.  He also looks as if he's searching for a way to express his feelings about said bad day.  I think if I saw him I would try not to make eye contact and hope that is enough for him not to shoot you in the face.  Darwin Rothchild is done taking your crap.  

    Why is no one making films about the characters of the 3A universe?  This dude looks like the perfect anti-hero that would make you feel sort of guilty when you root for him.  If I knew anyone that could make it happen I'd be all over it.  You could preorder him today though and make your own stop-motion film.  Head over to http://www.bambalandstore.com/ while they're still available and then take the time to learn the fine art of motion capture to produce your own blockbuster.  Or you could just put him on your shelf and be impressed by your awesome taste.  That works too.  

Norse Mythology Teething Toys from Helles Teeth

    By now you've probably figured out that baby toys are pretty far removed from the stuff I normally talk about.  In fact,  I'm not sure anyone under the age of 18 or without a healthy dose of mental illness should be reading this site.  Just kidding, I'm delightful.  I get emails all the time about different products that people want me to write about.  Most of them are from people who have obviously never looked at my site based on the stuff they sent me.  And while teething toys are really way out there, they actually contacted me on purpose!  I guess my name helped a bit, as these are based on three prominent figures in Norse mythology.  Anything that helps to keep those old stories alive for a new generation of people I'm all for, and really these things are pretty cool and I would buy every one of them if I had a kid.  

    You pretty much have zero chance of raising a child that will turn out lame if they start out chewing on Thor's hammer.  There's also one featuring Odin's horse Sleipnir, and the Midgard Serpent that your little one can wage their own Ragnarok on.  In order for these to become real products your help is needed.  There is a Kickstarter page that is very close to being funded and you can help it reach it's goal by clicking here.  Do it for the glory of Asgard!!!!!!!

She Predator Premium Format Figure from Sideshow Collectibles

    I can honestly say I had no idea anything like this was going on in the Predator universe.  I mean, I guess baby Predators had to come from somewhere.  I still have no idea how this semi-naked huntress figures into things, but I'm not mad about it.  The entirety of the internet is based on the two C's:  cats and cleavage, and while I don't notice and feline critters roaming around, this figure has an ample amount of the latter.  I can here the collective rejoicing of fan boys everywhere as they realize they can preorder this premium format figure from Sideshow Collectibles on May 15th.  If you're going to be hunted and killed as a trophy, it would be much better to have her do it than one of her gross faced counterparts.  At least you can die with a smile on your face.  

Spring Ver. 1 Ammonaito from Mechavirus Available Now!!!!

    Did you see that new video of those dudes in a rubber boat trying to film a great white shark when the thing decides to EAT THEIR BOAT?  Further, documented proof, that the sea is trying to kill us.  We've been placated by the ocean's propaganda films (like Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid) to believe that everything is all singing and dancing down there.  But I know the truth.  I know that we are nothing but tasty morsels just out of their reach.

    Look at these guys.  I'm not sure whether they want to be friends our want to make houses out of our skulls.  They are nice to look at though, and thankfully made of plastic unlike their more murderous underwater kin folk.  You can add one of these Ammonaito figures from Mechavirus to your collection this very instant.  No, seriously, they just went on sale and I was refreshing the website to make sure they didn't sell out before I finished this post. Go now to http://www.mechavirus.bigcartel.com/ before they sell out.  

Amanda Louise Spayd's Secret Society Sale

     My house is filled with dust bunnies.  Not like, filled to the point where I'm wading knee deep in them to try and reach other rooms, but enough that if a light breeze were to come by a few fairly large specimens would most likely skitter across the floor.  Our five cats seem to shed like there were Olympic medals and the glory of their country at stake.  And there will be times that you miss vacuuming under something and all the dust bunnies will congregate under there until they form something that resembles a witch's Halloween wig.  On those days of discovery a few episodes of Hoarders always makes me feel better about my house keeping abilities.  

    Not all dust bunnies are a source of shame though.  Amanda Louise Spayd has been making them for years and people go nuts to own them.  I really like the little resin versions, called Pipsqueaks, the best and a bunch of them will be going on sale tomorrow along with more of her original work.   Visit her site at www.amandalouise.com for more information including pictures, prices, and on sale times.  

Terror Boys Ooze No. 13 from Brandt Peters and Ferg

    Well, if your kids are looking at this they will most likely never be able to sleep again, so say hello to the rest of your life taking them back and forth to therapy.  He's not too terrifying really, until he puts that sack over his head and his eyes become vacant holes.  That is the stuff of nightmares.  

    That being said, this is by far my favorite version in the Terror Boys Ooze line from Brandt Peters and Ferg.  You can't go wrong with a Freddy sweater, a burlap sack, and a few sharp objects meant for dicing up misbehaving teenagers.  I don't have any idea how much one of these will cost, but I do know that they go on sale this Monday, May 12, at noon Central time through http://store.projectsquadt.com/.  

Fun With Google Searches

   

     You know I sometimes like to look at the strange searches that lead people to this website.  Today I have a few gems.  The first search phrase was "crickets chirping cartoon."  I have no idea what that has to do with me, but I hope you enjoyed your visit.  My favorite one though, is "Alex is weird".  I couldn't begin to imagine what that person hoped to accomplish by searching that.  Maybe they just wanted to be sure that their feelings about Alex's weirdness were valid.  Maybe they were on some sort of mind altering substance.  We may never know.  

Limited Amount of 3A Mighty Squares to Be Offered at Bambaland Store

    This is one of those times that searching Google for a time zone converter comes in really handy.  A limited amount of Mighty Squares from 3A are going on sale May 8th at 9am Hong Kong time.  That translates to 9pm on May 7th (or tonight if you prefer) Eastern time.  Oh, look at that, I already did all the hard work for you.  Unless you don't live in either time zone, in which case you have to do the hard work.  Sorry about that.  Kiss your credit cards for good luck and pray to the toy goods to smile upon you.  

http://www.bambalandstore.com/

Cashmere Blue Porcelain Skull from NooN x K. Olin Tribu

    I don't know if they still make these or not, but remember those popsicles that told half of a joke on the handle and you didn't get the punch line that was hiding underneath until you finished eating it?  I wish that's how our skulls worked.  That after you were dead it would reveal some amazing design on your cranium.  It would certainly make the medical examiner's job more fun:

    "Upon exposing the skull, the deceased had a picture of the Tasmanian Devil holding a Confederate flag with the words Git Er Done written below it."

    I have simple dreams that will never come true, cause you can't get a Kickstarter going to make that happen.  What you can do is pick up one of these porcelain skulls from NooN x K. Olin Tribu.  It's much less messy than going out and harvesting your own skulls, plus the result is much nicer looking.  This Cashmere Blue edition goes up for preorder today at 6pm French time, which equals to 2pm in New York and 9am in Los Angeles.  They are limited to only 50 pieces and can be found at http://www.artandtoys.com/.  

Clear Predator Pop! Vinyl from Funko x Gemini Collectibles

    I hope we never discover the trick to becoming invisible.  There are already enough creepy folks out there filming our every moves and the last thing we need is to make it easier for them.  Think about it, if you could be invisible what good would it do you other than to be able to creep around and be a weirdo.  Now if they could invent a way for me to shoot fireballs from the palm of my hands without the need of some mechanical device that would be cool.

   You know why Predators need to be invisible?  Cause they want to kill you.  And look at you in the shower.  They're the perviest of all alien species.  Funko and Gemini Collectibles are offering up this clear Predator Pop! Vinyl for preorder right now, so you should totally buy one and forget all that other stuff I just said.

www.geminicollectibles.com

New Mastodon Album and Video Featuring Art from Skinner

    Are you ready to have your face melted off by the otherworldly riffage of Mastodon?  Are you ready to turn your brain upside down in your skull as the artwork of Skinner comes to life?  Put on your big boy pants, call out sick from work, and get ready to unleash the fury of the cosmos.  

Gacha Mini Set from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    Look at these tiny wittle baby monsters.  They're so cute you would never suspect that they could grow up one day and wreck the city you live in.  Remember when people used to buy baby alligators cause they were cute then they'd wake up one day and they couldn't shower anymore because a blood-thirsty reptile was living in their bathtub?  And people would flush them down the toilets before they got to big so everyone thought their were these mutant lizards living in our sewer systems that would one day rise and enact their revenge for being abandoned and not shown the proper motherly love that all creatures need.  There's no therapy programs for alligators with a bad childhood.

    Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery are releasing this gacha mini set featuring some of his most well known characters.  You can pick them up for $60 a set or $15 individually.  For those of you math impaired (I double checked my calculations 6 times) that means you get one figure for free by opting for the set.  They go on sale today at noon Pacific time at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.

We Become Monsters Releases Dread Box Today!!!!!!

    Do you know what you can get for $6 these day?  You can't get two gallons of gas, or enough candy bars to make you feel sick.  There's really now much that you can do with such a paltry sum of money. Unless, that is, you want to buy a cool little resin toy that you can own for the rest of your life.  That's right folks, for a mere $6 you can own something unique and handmade that there aren't 10,000 of.  We Become Monsters is releasing the Dread Box today at 2pm Pacific time.  It stands an inch tall, is limited to only 25 pieces, and each one is completely different.  Skip that trip to Taco Bell and it's ensuing stomach distress and get yourself something cool instead.  

http://webecomemonsters.storenvy.com/

Nadsat Boy Beethoven Edition from Kenth Toy Works x Toy Art Gallery

    During the day, when I'm not attempting to write witty, thought-provoking posts about toys that I like, I make eyeglasses.  Not that you've ever asked before, but I am all about full disclosure and ruining whatever mystery I may have left about myself.  I just can't resist destroying my own enigma.  You're probably shocked by the fact that this blog hasn't led to bathtubs full of money and pet zebras, which honestly I am too, but I enjoy my job.  People manage to do some crazy stuff to their eyes and their glasses, most of which keeps me elbow deep in hand sanitizer at all times.  I didn't think there would be so many germs!  

   Thinking about eyeballs all day has left a special place in my heart for this figure from Kenth Toy Works.  His tribute to A Clockwork Orange is one of the more original I've seen and Toy Art Gallery will be releasing this Beethoven edition of it tomorrow, May 2nd, at noon Pacific time.  As if this needs to be said, I am always, and shamelessly, open to all presents you would like to buy me.  Starting your shopping here would be a good idea.  

NewEva by Ajee x Bonustoyz x Mighty Jaxx

    I really love the work of Ajee.  When her Kosplay figure was announced I preorded one the moment I was able to.  It's still one of my favorite toys I own, if you can really even call it that.  Her work is much closer to fine art than it is anything you would find in Toys R Us, and though her releases do not happen often, they are always striking.  For this NewEva piece she teamed with the folks at Mighty Jaxx and the results speak for themselves.  The baseball cap makes this figure lean in a much more urban direction, which I'm normally not into, but for some reason I don't mind so much here.  It reads as more of a disguise than it does a nod to self indulgent, brand name culture.  The figure is 6 inches tall and is available to preorder right now from the Bonustoyz website here.  

Quackula from Healeymade Makes His Vinyl Debut Tonight

    We have this touristy village-like place near where I live where people used to feed all of the geese that hung out there.  The place was overrun with these giant, lazy birds looking for a handout.  Think of Times Square in the 80's but without as many hookers.  Well God forbid if you didn't have anything to feed these geese because they would follow you everywhere you went and bite the crap out of you to get your attention.  And you couldn't walk any faster to get away from them, because they laid these human size turds everywhere that you really didn't want to track into your car, so you're dodging poop landmines while these real life angry birds are trying to give you avian flu cause you weren't nice enough to stuff a couple slices of bread in your pockets before you left the house.  Thankfully, they finally banned people from feeding them and the little low lifes moved on to ply their criminal trade elsewhere. 

   The moral of this story is that bird bites hurt, but thankfully they don't actually have sharp fangs like this Quackula figure from Healeymade.  This blood-thirsty water fowl stands 7 inches tall and is made from glorious Japanese soft vinyl.  You can get one tonight when they go on sale at 8pm Eastern time at http://shop.healeymade.com/.  

Shub Zeroth Permafrost Edition from Metacrypt x DSKI ONE

    It is not the claws, or the teeth that man should fear, of those beasts that have gone unseen by anyone living today.  It is not their rise from oceanic depths, flooding our cities in their massive wakes.  No, man's fears shall be realized just in the fact that such beasts exists.  Beasts beyond anything the human mind can fathom.  And when you stare up at the monstrosity before you, this knowledge will render all of your notions of the world into useless mush.  Behold Shub Zeroth, destroyer of world's, reckoner of mankind, lover of shrimp cocktail.  Seriously, you would poop if you saw this in real life.  And so many people would die just from trying to record him on their cell phones so they could put it on Youtube later.  Oh, the horror of trying to gain more followers!

    DSKI ONE has brought this behemoth from Metacrypt to life with a rather awesome paint job and you can welcome it into your home this Thursday, May 1st at 11am Pacific time.  Very few of these are in existence and will be sold exclusively through http://lulubelltoys.com/.  

More Bedtime Bunnies from Peter Kato to be Released Tonight at Midnight

    The timing of these Bedtime Bunny posts always coincide with a night that I didn't sleep very well.  Last night I didn't sleep well at all.  The younger cats decided that they were going to practice their wrestling moves by recreating last week's Smackdown, while my stomach burned with indigestion and I was too tired to get out of bed to take anything for it.  And of course this never happens when I don't have to get up early and drive an hour to work.  Uggh, it's gonna be a long day.

    But how can I possibly have a bad outlook on the day in the face of such cuteness?  I can't, though I would still like to sneak a nap in somewhere.  How long do you think I could sleep in the bathroom at work before anyone would notice?    Peter Kato is releasing more of his uber popular sleepy time rabbits tonight at midnight and they will include all black versions, Pepto pink, and white ones with either blue or pink slippers.  They come in two different sizes and will most likely sell out quickly, so make sure you're wide awake tonight so you can get a few.  If you need any help staying awake I've got a few ill behaved felines I could send your way.

http://peterkatoshop.com/

Orange Bugbites and More from Chris Ryniak on Sale Today!!!!

    The first thing I do when I check into a hotel room is lift the mattress and look for evidence of bed bugs.  Usually after I am satisfied that I will not be transporting an infestation in my suitcase, I then move on to determining whether or not the blanket stains are fresh, where the standing water smell is coming from, and if the peeling wall paper is concealing anything sinister/valuable.  I really should step up my hotel game, but I can't see paying a ton of money just for somewhere to sleep for a little bit.  The three days of itching afterwards are totally worth the savings!

    I have yet to find any bed bugs in my hotel rooms, but I wouldn't mind finding one of these in the nightstand.  If all critters were this adorable exterminators would all be out of business, cause no matter how harmful they were you couldn't bring yourself to poison them.  These little resin dudes are called Bugbites and you can start your own plague of Biblical proportions when they go on sale today at 2pm Eastern time through Chris Ryniak's new webstore.  He'll also have some drawings available so you can freshen up your home decor game.  

http://chrisryniak.com/

Dripple Series 1 Platform Toy from Sket-One and Mighty Jaxx

    I enjoy a good platform toy.  I like the fact that it's one basic shape and it's up the artist to really bring it to life while making it unique.  Mighty Jaxx has teamed up with Sket One to produce their first ever platform toy, Dripple.  There are two things about this figure that I think make it successful.  The first is a huge area in which to put designs.  They're not limited by little stubby arms or legs or really harsh angles, so the art really has a chance to be unrestrained.  The second is that the arms are all interchangeable and they will be making more accessories to go along with the figures, so you can mix and match them however you want.  Not only does that give you options for display, but customizers will have more choices when making their own creations.  

    Now, they need your help to get this series into production.  They are raising the funds right now over at http://drippletoy.com/ and it works the same way as Kickstarter.  There are different levels of rewards for your contribution, including some hand made figures, complete sets, and even a three foot tall Dripple.  They've actually just hit their main goal a few hours ago, but they still need help in hitting those stretch goals and unlocking more cool stuff.

Grody Shogun x Cojica Toys x Shirahama Toy Release Today from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    What's this?  I'm actually doing a post on a Sunday?  That's right, because I am like the mighty cobra and can strike at any moment.  I may go back in time and do a post last week, that's how crazy I can be.  I like to keep you on your toes and sometimes I just get some info so cool that I gotta get it posted so you can get all the cool stuff that makes life worth living.  So I guess I'm like a cobra that would sneak up on you and give you a hot stock tip.  I'm such a nice snake.

    Super Festival has been going on in Japan this weekend and I have been at home drooling all over my computer at all the plastic goodness I wish I could have.  But what's this I see?  Something for those of us that are extremely jealous and depressed right now?  Grody Shogun got the dudes from Cojica Toys and Shirahama Toys to paint up these bad boys for a special release dropping today.  You get both of these for only $55.  They go live on http://www.lulubelltoys.com/ today (April 27th) at noon Pacific time.  That's really really soon, so get your typing fingers prepped and your credit card on high alert folks.  

    

Eternal Cloud Red Dragon Edition from Restore

    I can't even make jokes when talking about something this amazing.  Restore is known for making some mind blowing toys, but this one is by far their best creation to date.  The Eternal Cloud figure is made up of Japanese soft vinyl and resin and is created out of about 15 different pieces.  This thing is like an amazing tattoo come to life.  Seen here is the Red Dragon version of this figure, which is available for preorder right now for $125 from the fine folks at Lulubell Toy Bodega.  The preorder window is open until the 29th of May at noon Pacific time and the figures are expected to ship in August.  

Sharknado Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    This is, by far, the greatest Pop! Vinyl toy that Funko has ever made.  I hope whoever designed this just straight up quite afterwards and went to work as a landscaper or something, because how do you top this?  Not only do I hope they quite, I hope that upon it's completion they stood up, flipped their desk over and walked away in slow motion as it burst into flames.   This titan of toys will be available in June, just in time to get you psyched up for the sequel.  

Jade Green King Jinx from Paul Kaiju

    You can't tell me stuff like this isn't going to creep out of the ocean one day and enslave us all.  It's gonna happen, and they're gonna be extra pissed cause of you throwing your Miller Lite cans in the water while you're out fishing with your buddies.  You've doomed us all to a life as crab slaves.  

    Everybody wants a King Jinx toy from Paul Kaiju.  Maybe it's so we can decode their weak points and have a defense when their relatives come attacking.  Or maybe it's just cause of how cool they look.  If you want to get this Jade Green version you've gotta enter a special lottery for the chance to purchase one.  This Sunday, April 27th, at noon Pacific time you can go to http://paulkaiju.com/ and put down all your pertinent information for a chance to win.  The lottery is only open for 24 hours, so take your useless stuff to the pawn shop and scratch up some funds.  

Willo Resin Sculpture Kickstarter from Kyle Kirwan

    I think I've told this story before, but it warrants a retelling.  While living in my first apartment with my wife I made a custom figure that utilized fake antlers from a taxidermy supply company.  They needed to be shaved down a bit at their base so they would fit into the head of the figure, so I grabbed my trusty Dremel, sat out on the front stoop, and began grinding them down.  Just then two degenerates who just bought drugs from our upstairs neighbor (that's a looooong story that ended with the US Marshalls and the fastest eviction you've ever seen) come walking by and I look up at them from behind my respirator (don't breath that crap in folks) and nod so they think I'm cool and won't want to steal my tv.  One looks at the other and says, and I quote, "That's some real Jeffrey Dahmer shit."  That is when I learned that if you live around sketchy people doing sketchy things, it doesn't hurt to have them think you might be a sociopath.  

    I'm a sucker for a nice rack (of antlers) and this Willo figure from Kyle Kirwan certainly has that.  This dude needs your help to become an actual toy and you can show your support via a Kickstarter campaign going on right now.  This thing is very very close to getting funded and just needs a little extra push to make it happen.  Be a part of creating this unique toy by clicking here.

Rootbeer Corn Float Unchimen from Skinner Release Today!

    Anything having to do with poop is hilarious.  You know you still laugh whenever someone lets out a fart in public.  If the biggest, scariest, most prison-rapey dude you've ever seen let one rip there would be nothing you could do to stop from laughing.  Sure, he may kill you for making fun of his gaseous indiscretion, but even the thought of being choked to death by his tattooed hands can't stop it from being funny.  There is only one time that poop is not funny and that's when it's happening to us.  But even that is only momentary, because afterwards you can laugh about how you "wrecked the pipes" in your house, or that time you almost had to poop in the ditch on the way to the Bob Dylan concert because you swore your bowels could no longer take the torture of the Kentucky Fried Chicken you ate earlier and it was really hard to hold back their fury and operate the clutch of the truck you were driving without there being a breach in your backdoor security.  But then like an oasis in the midday desert heat you saw rise an Exxon station in the horizon, and you knew your salvation was at hand and you would not lose a good pair of underwear or your dignity on the side of a highway in Delaware after all.  

    Skinner has painted up three of these turd men by Paul Kaiju so you can finally own something nice that your mother can be proud of.  They go on sale today (Wednesday,April 23rd) at noon Pacific time at http://theartofskinner.com/.  And by the way, if anything ever comes out of your body that looks like this, don't bother consulting WebMD or even your local emergency room.  You need a priest and a will.  

LiverDiet Custom Semi Korosiya from Cop A Squat Toys

    LiverDiet sounds like a good nickname for a viking.  Like, Harold LiverDiet.  It would strike the fear in your enemies that once they are defeated you will eat their iron-packed organs while they are still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!  That's pretty brutal.  Mine would probably be lame if it were left to other people to make it up based on my life.  I would end up Chris Litter Scooper, or Chris Crooked Toe.  I don't see my enemies running in fear of either of those.  

   In real life, LiverDiet is no marauder raiding monasteries and carrying off slave girls to Scandinavia, but a maker of clothing and toys.  Which is pretty brutal on its own, if you think about production runs and profit margins.  He has customized 8 of these Semi Korosiyas from Cop A Squat Toys and they are things of beauty.  The nice, subtle paint job goes a long way to bringing out the qualities of the figure itself.  Each one will come with an 8x10 serigraph (seen below) and one lucky collector will also get a snapback hat so you don't get sunburn on your head this summer.  Have you ever sunburned your scalp?  It sucks, don't do it.  You never think about that exposed part in your hair until it's too late and it feels like it's been licked by the fires of Hades.  

    These guys go on sale this Friday, April 25th at 7pm only at http://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com/.

    

Street Spirit Artist Series from Suburban Vinyl featuring The Sucklord

    These guys would be kinda scary is they weren't bright pink.  You can't take anything in pink seriously.  Like, if a dude came up to rob you and he was wearing a pink track suit you would probably just laugh and then beat him up and take his wallet.  Pink has the ability to drain the threatening aspect out of any situation.  

    But pink is the signature color of The Sucklord and he has used it liberally in customizing these Street Spirit figures from Nemo.  And he even covered the bottoms of them with the goings on in Asia as found in a Chinese newspaper.  What do they say?  I dunno, I studied useless things in school.  

   Sucklord only made 6 of these for Suburban Vinyl in what will be an ongoing series of these figures featuring different artists.  Spruce up your living space by getting one from http://www.suburbanvinyl.com/.

Entertainment Earth Exclusive Sons of Anarchy Figures from Mezco

    Oh, let's just make all my posts about Sons of Anarchy today.  This October we will be in the thick of the last ever season of this show, and while I'll doing my best to try and not be an emotional cripple, I'll also be buying up all of these figures that are coming out.  It's how I deal with the sadness that my favorite show is ending.  And while my wife is at work and unable to judge me I can reenact the entire series.  Hopefully they come out with a dead hooker expansion pack because Barbie is not to scale.  

    Mezco has made these versions of Jax and Clay exclusively for the nice folks at Entertainment Earth.  Both will be released this October, but you can preorder them now by clicking on the Entertainment Earth button on the right of this page.  You better do it or your collection won't be complete and you'll have to buy them from some jerk on eBay who will mark them up 200%.    

Second Series of Sons of Anarchy Coins from Mezco Toys

    While the first series of Sons of Anarchy coins was to commemorate those characters that had succumbed to their vicious lifestyle, the second set features characters that are still, for now, with us.  But as the last season of the series is quickly approaching, their time in this world is most likely coming to an end.  I'm both excited and sad that my favorite show is coming to an end.  I'm excited to see how all of the insanity is wrapped up and how much further everything can spiral out of control before they reach any form of resolution.  But I am saddened that these characters that I've invited into my home for the past seven years will be gone forever.  You build an emotional investment in their fictional stories and it's hard to let that go.  I am grateful that the show will be allowed to go out on it's own terms and we will all get to see the completion of Kurt Sutter's vision the way he intended it.  Not a lot of programs get that ability.  

      I went a little off course there, but I'll try and right the ship.  These coins were produced by Mezco to go along with the actor's that portray these characters appearing at Chiller Theatre in Northern New Jersey April 25th-27th.  I haven't been to that convention in a few years and am seriously tempted to go, if for no other reason than to meet Katey Sagal who portrays Gemma.  She is by far one of the most complex characters on television and I can't imagine anyone else bringing so much life to that role.  

    You can only get these coins online by visiting http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.  

Rotofugi Exclusive Jyujin from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore and GEEK!

    Is this what everyone is always looking for on those monster hunting shows?  I hate those programs, because they never find squat.  Actually, I hate any program that goes hunting for the supernatural or mythological creatures because there is no payoff.  Let me dramatically recreate for you every episode of every one of those tv shows that have ever existed:

****Bunch of idiots with expensive equipment walking around in places that will require a tetanus afterwards.  Picture it in your mind's eye.****

Idiot one:  (stops suddenly and puts out his arms to signal everyone to stop as well)  "Shhh Shhh.  Did you hear that?"

Idiot two:  (looks spooked and turns up his super sonic listening device then holds his headphones tight to his ear)

Idiot one:  "Let's check our traps."

****The gaggle of morons walks slowly so they don't scare the majestic creature/raccoon away.***

Idiot one:  "I knew that sounded like a bigfoot.  Look at the trap.  He took a big bite out of that fruitcake we left here and must have run away when he heard us coming.  This is the real deal fellas"

    Multiply that by 13 and you have an entire season of stupidity.  

    When one of those dudes brings back something that looks like this Jyujin from GEEK!, then I'll be impressed.  This big hunk o plastic was expertly painted by Rich from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore and is an exclusive to Rotofugi.  You want to add this mythical beast to your collection?  Well, you've got till tomorrow (Friday, April 18th) at noon Central time to enter the lottery for your chance to get one.  If you win you then gotta pay $165.  If you lose, well, you lose.  Enter it now by going to http://www.rotofugi.com/. 

Freddy Krueger Bishoujo Figure from Kotobukiya

    The rules of horror films state that if you're a scantily clad attractive female, you can expect to die in a pretty horrible, often times humiliating, way.  But what if the killer was the scantily clad girl?  Who then is the number one victim?  Do they go around killing monsters and escaped mental patients?  Now my head hurts.

     Kotobukiya is turning the world of horror films upside down with their Freddy vs. Jason Bishoujo figures.  Do you realize how many dudes would get killed if she was in an actual film? It's easy to stay the hell away from a dude that is covered in burns and has steak knives taped to his fingers, but no guy would ever run from this girl.  He'd be like "so, can I uh, call you sometime?" right before getting his bowels strung up from the rafters.  The male population would dwindle down to nothing.  And every guy would want to watch this film cause of the half naked girls, regardless of whether they're sociopathic murderers or not.  Call me Hollywood,  this is box office gold.  

    Freddy is the first movie monster to get the hot chick makeover, but they are creating a Jason version as well.  Look at the abs on her?  Evidently she does Crossfit to prepare for a night of slaughtering campers.  Freddy is up for preorder now on Entertainment Earth and if you click on the link to the right there to place your order, I make a few bucks, which helps me feed my cats.  Those guys eat like a plague of locusts.  

"Our Father" Darth Vader Resin Sculpture from Sket One

    Guess what?  I just spent your tax return for you.  I apologize in advance to all the people you swore you'd pay back when you got your "taxes did", but this is more important.  This massive Darth Vader resin is the work of Sket-One, who has just upped the game when it comes to religious-inspired art.  And he wasn't shy about it either, cause this sucker stands a little over two feet tall and weighs 10 pounds.  This may be the greatest thing you will ever own that can double as an anti-burglary weapon.  Now, before you lose your mind past the point of no return, this Lord of the Sith ain't cheap.  For this massive piece it will set you back $999.  Also keep in mind that Sket estimates that this will cost about $200 just to ship but he will make accommodations for you to pick it up in person if you wanna go to California.  It could be like an awesome pilgrimage!  Only 25 of these behemoths were produced and will go on sale this Friday, April 18th.  For those of us that already blew our tax returns on wrestling tickets and trips to the vet, he will also be offering prints and prayer candles (oh, I'm gonna need one of those my friends) through http://1xrun.com/.  I better see some serious shrines created by anyone that buys this.  You might wanna go ahead and empty a room of your house just so you can do it justice.